Teen Message Board

Message Board

Teen Message Board

Read the messages posted below or Ask an Anonymous Question on our safe forum and we’ll respond to your question here in two business days

Questions Answers

My parents are married but I found something online. I found that my dad has several dating site accounts that he has not told any of us about butc claims to be happily married. He also does not work while !y mom works full time in the army. I feel like he is living off of her. He is also rude to us and has threatened to leave bfore but never left. Is he cheating on my mom? Should I tell her myself?

Thank you for contacting WEAVE. I’m sorry that you are going through this with your parents. Have you tried talking with your dad about what you found? It might be important to do this before talking with your mom. This issue should be between your parents, so maybe it would be good to encourage him to tell your mom if this is what is going on. If you want to talk more about this, you can call our Support Line at 916-920-2952. 

I’m 16, female. My boyfriend who is 17 does prescription pills and it really bothers me. Both of my parents were drug addicts, I grew up in foster care because of this. My boyfriend knows I hate drugs, I don’t mind him smoking weed but o don’t want the pills to escalate and lead to something worst but he doesn’t listen to me. What should I do ?

He’s also a very nice boy who comes from a good home…he loves me and treats me great. I wouldn’t want to leave him but I refuse to put up with addiction in my life ever again.

It’s great that you know what your personal boundaries are in your relationship and what you will not put up with. You seem to really care about your boyfriend and his well-being. If he is using prescription pills as a way to cope with something he is going through, maybe he can seek counseling assistance. It is also important to consider that you are unable to change him, only encourage him to get help. If you would like to talk more about what options you may be able to offer him, please contact our Support line at 916-920-2952. 

I’ve always told my boyfriend that I can’t stand the idea of anal and how painful that would be for a girl. I even once went so far to say it would be like rape for me. We were on the couch when he pulled it out and started rubbing it on my butt. I was ok with that but then he started to push it in. I’m confused he stopped half way and asked if I was ok with this which I said no. He stopped immediately and said sorry. He cuddled me and all but I feel violated. He knows how I feel on the subject. Why would he do it? He’s a good guy but I feel scared of him. I don’t want to be. Was this unintended assault and if so how do I heal these feelings so I can continue our relationship. He really is a nice guy

Please please please help I can’t sleep anymore and feel gross. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what.

Thank you for contacting WEAVE about your relationship concerns. Because you have already told him that you do not consent to this, it would be considered assault. It is normal to feel gross and confused after you have been assaulted. These feelings can keep you awake at night and cause nightmares. It seems like you care about your boyfriend and your relationship, have you talked with him about how this made you feel? Counseling might be a great resource for you. Please call our Support Line at 916-920-2952 to learn more about our counseling program. 

Me and a bunch of people were sleeping at someone’s house after a party and a boy started touching me (and yes I mean everywhere but over my clothes). I was still drunk and wasn’t completely aware and I was scared so I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t say no, he thought I was sleeping, but I also didn’t give my consent. Is this sexual assault even though I didn’t do anything to stop him?

It is not necessary to say “no” and since you were drunk and unresponsive you were not able to give your consent. It is sexual assault when someone has sexual contact with you without your consent.

I’m terrified that I might be pregnant. I switched period tracking (I’m on a 35 day cycle) and I’m so scared. He switched condoms halfway through because he was embarrassed that he had already … so he didn’t tell me during that time idk if the condom slipped or anything but he got another and again, I don’t know if it was clean. It was spermicide but still there are failure statistics. I have 8 days until my next period and my left boob just developed this pain that goes away but comes back in one pulse every once. I can’t remember ever feeling that before. I’m a college freshman and have no money, the guy is a friend who I shouldn’t have slept with but obviously that’s too late. And my parents would eternally shame me if told them about this. I don’t know what to do if I am, maybe I just need someone to tell me to calm down. But I’m freaking out.

Thank you for reaching out to WEAVE. I hear your concern and want to let you know about a couple resources. Pregnancy Hotline: 916-451-2273 and also confidential (free – low cost)Teen Services at the Birthing Project:  for appointments, call 916-558-4800. If you are interested in further support we offer community counseling at WEAVE and/or your college likely offers counseling services for free. If you’re interested in counseling at WEAVE drop-in Triage is Tuesday/Thursday 12pm-2pm and/or Wednesday 5pm-7pm at our midtown location.  It takes courage to reach out for support. I wish you all the best!

Let me start by saying that I’m not typically sexually attracted to guys. (message edited due to content). I just don’t know what to do.

Experiencing attractions and feelings towards both genders is completely normal. Your confusion is also normal. You may want to consider talking to a trusted friend or adult if the attraction is creating anxiety. You can also reach out to the national LGBT Support Line at 1-800-246-pride or LGBT Center in Sacramento at (916) 442-0185. You also indicated a desire to engage sexually with a friend who was asleep or while they were intoxicated. This is not ok. If your friend is not a consenting partner, your actions would be sexual assault. Any relationship you would choose to pursue with any gender should be consensual.

I am inquiring if there is any way to get more information about statutory rape. Is there any, groups or education to help young adults understand the statute of limitations is in place for a reason and help better inform young adults of the serious consequences?
It seems that the high school students that turn 18 while dating someone a few years younger don’t seem to be clear in understanding that this is not to be taken lightly.
Do you offer any groups or trading for this age group to better understand this law and the importance of it being followed?

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to ask such an important question. WEAVE’s counseling, outreach, information and supportline, speaker’s bureau, and education and prevention advocates all take part in educating the community including elementary to high school grade students about the importance of safe dating, the cycle of domestic violence and the sign of sexual abuse. We emphasis that statuary rape is a law during our public trainings with schools and the general public where we try to work on prevention and education in regard to these laws protecting children and teens. However, we are still seeking more public awareness in these matters and we are constantly working to build relationships with schools to help us in making this possible. If you would like more information about the services and the types of outreach and education we offer, please click on the “Learn” tab on our site and under “Prevention and Education” feel free to read some information about the topics discussed during presentations. Thank you!

I’m thinking of coming to weave but I have no phone only a phone that runs on Wi-Fi and im expecting important phone calls ( job wise ) does an safe house have Wi-Fi? Unfortunately, weave’s safehouse does not provide Wi-Fi due to safety concerns of an abuser locating a survivor.
I have lived with my mom and my step dad for about 10 years. My older sisters have moved out and ever since then things between my step dad and I have gotten worse. Apparently everything that goes wrong is my fault and he makes me admit it even when I did nothing wrong and did the things I was asked. Now days I spend most of my time in my room avoiding him. Sometimes it seems that he will walk to the back of the house to my room just to yell at me. I feel like I can never bring a friend over because I don’t know how he would act and would like to keep them. Over time I have gotten used to this but even my own mother rarely will stick up for me. Anyone I talk to say it is because he is from India but I feel like it is because he just likes the power it gives him. Is what he is doing a form of mental abuse because he installs fear in to people or is it because he is from India Hello, I’m sorry you are having these feelings about someone you believe is supposed to care for you. From the information you provided it sounds like a lot of verbal abuse is going on. I am not at liberty to say that your step dad’s attitude is due to him being from another country, but abuse does build from one person having power and control over another. You can call Weave’s 24/7 anonymous support and information line and speak with an advocate who would be glad to speak with you and/or offer you additional resources and information. The number is 916-920-2952. Thank you again for reaching out.

My friend just told me that she’s having sex with this guy she’s living with in order to stay in his house. I think this is a form of rape, am I correct? I don’t know if this is important but they’re both 18.

We appreciate you connecting with WEAVE regarding this matter. For the purposes of defining rape it is described by the FBI as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, without the consent of the victim.” Sexually assaulted individuals can either be forced through threats or physical means. If a person is being pressured, obligated or forced to have sex it is still considered sexual assault. Consent must exist for it to be mutual. The age range is also an important factor because if they were under 18 years of age it would be illegal for them to be engaging in any type of sexual intercourse. If you believe your friend is feeling threatened to have sex and is also in fear for her life you can encourage her to call law enforcement right away and report the crime. There are also other available resources she can use if she is afraid of becoming homeless and other programs like Salvation Army in her area that can provide some resources for her as well. If she is in need of talking to someone about what is going on and other resources within her area to seek help she can call our Information and Support Line to provide her with connections that may be available to her at 916-920-2952. Thank you!

When I was 7, my brother started molesting me. It started with him just wanting me to take my shirt off, and then he started wanting to touch and other things. He molested me for 2 years. I convinced myself for a while that he just didn’t know what he was doing. Now that I’m 15 and he’s an adult, I understand that he fully knew what he was doing. I’ve been dealing with depression, insomnia, anxiety, and self-esteem issues for a while because of it. I don’t want to go to therapy, and I don’t want to tell my parents or confront him. But I’m tired of feeling depressed and anxious about it. What do I do?

Hello. I am sorry to hear this happened to you and that you had to endure this for a long time. Talking about what happened with a trusted close friend, family member, or an experienced advocate on our Information and Support Line will promote the healing that is needed. The more you talk about it the more hurt is released and dealt with at a deeper level. It is okay to feel the way that you are feeling and it is a natural process that needs to occur in order to get you to that dealing process of talking about it. It is also very important to not judge yourself about how you feel or react. You can always start by calling the Information and Support Line at 916-920-2952 where we can also provide you with additional resources available to you. If at some point you wish to seek counseling, WEAVE offers 8 free sexual assault counseling sessions. Just keep in mind that you are not alone through this journey of healing and that resources are available to help.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I know that he loves me very deeply and would do anything for me. Recently, my friends have told me that they heard about my boyfriend sending his friends naked pictures of me and receiving naked pictures of other girls from his school. I confronted my boyfriend about this and he denied it. He gets very very angry when I ask him about it and tells me that he doesn’t want to be with me if I don’t believe him. This leads me to believe that it’s true, but I don’t have proof. I’ve thought about asking his mom in confidence to check his texting history and see if he did send naked pictures of me to his friends. I am still with him, because I love him very much and don’t want to lose him. But it kills me to think that my pictures may be on other people’s phones/internet sites. I know that he loves me and he would only do that because of peer pressure and immaturity, I just need to know for sure if it happened or not. I don’t know how to do this.

Hello and thank you for reaching out to WEAVE concerning this incident. I am sorry to hear this is going on. It is illegal for anyone to forward and disperse nude photos whether or not consent was given. The school counselor would be a beneficial source to talk to about how to process this situation. Law enforcement agencies also have teen groups where a safe space would be provided in order to talk about what’s going on and how to seek help to properly address the situation. Depending on your location a Boy’s & Girls Club should also be able to assist and talking to a trusted adult will provide you the support that you need. You can also call our Information and Support Line at 916-920-2952 if you wish to talk about it in detail in order to provide you with resources around your area as well as help you process how you are feeling.

I go to school with a boy (14 y/o)who sexually assaulted my seven y/o brother when my brother was six. I want to hurt him so badly. I’m an upperclassman. What can I do? Charges have and will not be pressed. I honestly don’t know what to do. I am taller than him and he poses no physical threat. How can I confront him. I want to hurt him so badly but I know I can’t do that. Should I tell a close friend? I want to make sure that he will be shunned but I know I shouldn’t do that. He came up to me and tried to talk to me today! Please help. I don’t know what to do.

I’m so sorry to hear that happened to your brother. It must be really hard to see this guy on a daily basis at school. I wouldn’t do anything physically to this person because you can get in trouble at school for an assault and they could possibly charge you legally. As an upperclassman you wouldn’t want to have a violent crime on your record. I can understand your anger in wanting to protect your brother and the frustration that comes along with that. However, if you attack this guy he may retaliate against your brother possibly putting your brother in more danger. I wouldn’t want you to do anything that would get you in trouble and have real consequences. You mentioned that you want the offender to be shunned. However, confronting him on what he did may allow for this to come out to the whole school. I suggest talking to your brother about how he wants to handle the situation and if he’s ok with people knowing he was assaulted. Chances are he’s probably feeling what your feeling too and it’s important to support him. It seems that you are carrying a lot of anger and pain about this. I encourage you to contact the Support Line at 916-920-2952 and just talk with someone about your feelings and options. Talking with friends can be helpful if you trust them. I would suggest telling an adult; trusted family member, teacher, counselor, etc. Also, if you tell a school staff they can possibly keep you separated from him. Your brother can always come to counseling for free at WEAVE so he can work through his stuff too. I know you mentioned not reporting but it is really important to do so and hold the offender accountable. As a minor, the offender can get in a lot of trouble and the police would take steps to make sure justice is served. We know that sex offenders do not only assault one time. By reporting you can possibly save another victim like your brother. You can report to the police by calling 911 or CPS at 916-875-5437.

My 13 year old daughter was recording herself with her phone when she started I had distracted her asking if she had done something she was supposed to do she forgot about the phone recording and eventually got changed while recording and was exposed on the camera. Later my father in law stole the phone (he had lived with us) when we made him leave our home due to search history and other findings we found the phone and that is when I discovered my daughter’s video. It was mixed in with up to 50+ downloaded porns mostly containing incest. My question is …. is this enough to press charges on my father in law?

Thank you for contacting us for support. The best option would be to report this to Law Enforcement. Your daughter can also get a Domestic Violence Restraining Order protection against the Grandfather, but reporting it to Law Enforcement would be a great first start. The Sacramento Police Department’s non emergency phone number is 916-264-5471 if you are in Sacramento’s jurisdiction. If you are outside of their jurisdiction, then they can notify you of which law enforcement jurisdiction you are in and provide you with that number. You may also contact us on our 24 hour Support and Information Line if you would like additional resources. This number is 916-920-2952.

I’m 16, as is my boyfriend. We’ve been together since eighth grade, and we are juniors now. I’m not coming to you as a victim. I’m afraid that I’m not being as good of a partner to my boyfriend as I could be, and I’d like to know what I can do to look for warning signs in MYSELF. I have never hit him in anger, and I am very apologetic if I hurt him accidentally (like gesturing and accidentally hitting him, or stepping on his foot) but in health class I’ve gotten concerned because a lot of the warning signs they say to look out for or the examples of stalking and jealousy that they use, turn out to be things I’ve done or are similar to it. I love him (and since people seem to believe that 16 year olds don’t actually know what love is, I’ll just say that I’m thoroughly convinced that I love him) and I would never want to hurt him. If I see that I’m a danger to him verbally, emotionally, or physically, I’m not going to stay with him, although I’m praying that I’ll never have to make that decision.

Hitting is only one type of abuse people use in domestic violence relationships. It sounds like emotional abuse such as; extreme jealousy, put downs and insults are happening in your relationship. Some people when they feel themselves getting upset will leave the situation. Whether that be hanging up when talking on the phone, leaving your phone in another room when texting or walking away if you are in person. This gives you space to think clearly about how you want to handle the situation. Just remember that any type of abuse can have serious consequences and no type of abuse is more hurtful than the other. Jealously is a human emotion and it’s normal to feel it. However, when you start calling, texting, threatening or manipulating that person to make you feel less jealous, what you are actually feeling is more control. It isn’t healthy to control your partner. He has been with you for a long time, probably for a lot of reasons. The more you trust him, the less stressful and healthier your relationship will become. I’m glad that you are reaching out and talking about this. You are very brave to admit your wrongs and seek help. If you ever want to talk more about this stuff call our Support Line at 916 920- 2952.

When I was young, my father played the role of “the boogieman” the one who held the leather belt and took me into a dark room whenever I did something he doesn’t agree with. other than that he was never actually “present” through my life and he never played his role as a father… he never taught me anything or showed me anything about dealing with anything or how to be anything. he is probably the cause of 90 % of my problems.. i always had to face every situation alone.. whether its bullying, getting beat up, injustice, or even understand and deal with anything life related. he also never accepts discussing anything with me, believes I’m his property and my possessions and room included. and seems to like to remind me that he “pays for everything and I’m living in his house with his rules”. never really accepts who i am always just assume what i think and insist he is right.he also believes parents have the right to shout and hit their children with a shoe on the head and children don’t get to complain or talk back even if its for no reason.. the funny thing is people consider him a kind man ( he is as long as i don’t agree with him) he did actually beat me a few times till now (not a lot. but he did) . I can’t deal with him anymore… he is such a burden… and naturally I have started for 3 years now to fight and shout back. i reached mine a long time ago.. i always said he is still my father but thats too much. I’m 20 but i can’t move out… in my country, its not an option

Hello and thank you for contacting us. I’m sorry this is happening and want to validate your frustration with dealing with this. Physical and emotional abuse can be reported. It may be helpful to seek emotional support, safety planing, and obtain resources in your area. You are welcome to call our 24 hour support and information line at 916-920-2952 or the National youth hotline at 800-USA-KIDS (800-872-5437).

I have a diIema. .. I really like my housemate. She is beautiful and overall just great to spend time with. The problem is I don’t want to ruin anything in the house. We share with 2 other guys. One is my good friend the other is his. I have spoken with my friend about this but I think he doesn’t want us to go out. This is purely based on a comment from both of them. Me and her have been living together for over a year now but I have never made a move just because we live together and obviously the classical fear of rejection… Should I just ask her? Should I be tactful about it?
So far all I’ve done is just care for her and be there if she needs me but I feel like I’m mugging myself off now.. what should I do??
Hi there. Thanks for your questions. It is normal to have some fear of rejection and be confused in situations such as this. You know the situation best and whether open communication would be most appropriate. Or whether there are other circumstances that are present where a different approach may be needed. It may be helpful to talk with someone on our 24 hour support and information line about this so that you can give details and the proper resources can be provided for your specific situation. The number is 916-920-2952.

I have a crush on my volleyball coach…I dont know what to do….little advice? I really want to tell him but i know its not appropriate he’s 20 im 16 and he’s a really nice guy but i dont know why all of the sudden im getting feelings for him..i know this is something serious so i haven’t told my friends about this because i dont want this to become a problem but i do need some advice from an adult to help me a little before i do something like telling him or any of my friends….

It is really hard when you can’t choose who you have feelings for. I hear this kind of issue a lot. However, a consensual relationship cannot exist between a minor (under 18 years old) and an adult. The both of you can get in a lot of trouble. I would maybe find a counselor at your school. All the things that you tell them are kept private unless it involves your safety. Also, you can also call the Support Line anytime at 916-920-2952 and talk stuff out. Feelings and relationships can be tough and I hope you get the support you’re looking for.

This guy, 20 years older than me from a larp (live action role play) group has been flirting with me for months. The guy has sent me messages over Facebook with kissing emotes and creeped me out as hell . I’ve never encouraged him to continue this behavior and flat out ignored his slightly too noticeable comments on me (sometimes said sexual stuff). I try to isolate myself from him but when he for an example: wants to do something, he keeps asking til I say yes (gaming or going to the store). When I came in today for our larp session I got hugged by him behind tightly without any warning and I felt like puking. Every time he stepped into the same room as me I felt disgust and a need to puke. When I came home today I burst into tears and now I can’t even imagine doing anything sexual with my boyfriend. The man has hugged me before (never with me even remotely showing I’d like to) but never like this. What should I do?

What you’re describing here is definitely sexual harassment. Have you ever told the guy to stop? He may think he is just flirting with you- even though that is totally creepy if you’re underage. Saying something like, “when you _____, I feel________, I want you to ________ or _______.” We call that string of sentences assertiveness training. It’s just a non-threatening way to tell someone you’re not interested and you have boundaries- which you are completely entitled to. It’s not ok that this man is pushing your boundaries and trying to bully you into something you don’t want to do. Try the assertiveness stuff. If this man doesn’t stop his behavior I would definitely tell an adult you trust. You don’t owe him anything. I know it can be hard but you already did the first step in the right direction- reaching out to us. Good luck. If you ever need to talk call our Support Line at 916-920-2952.

My dad sent me sexual loud text messages when he was mad. They told me to go Fuck myself and suck a dick I am 12 years old can he be charged with sexual harassment or something else?

It is not right that your father sent you those messages. This is sexual harassment but I don’t think legal action can be taken (I’m not a lawyer). You can always call us to talk about what happened or get more info on Support Line at 916-920- 2952. Another option is, since you are underage you can definitely report this to CPS at 916-875-5437. They may be able to provide counseling for your father and help you stay safe through other measures. Thanks for contacting us.

My friend fell asleep her brother began flirting with me a little and put his arm around me. I was okay with it at first but then he started reaching for my boobs and I told him to stop but he would always do it again…over and over. I had to cover myself but then he was really strong and forced his hands down my shirt and bra.. I told him to stop and I was trying to pull away his hand but all he was saying was “I know you like it”….then he tried making out with me but I would turn my head and squeeze my lips shut… I could have done more to stop him but I was embarrassed to make a scene… I now know I should have been louder and woken up my friend but at the time I didn’t know what to do… Eventually he started wanting to get my shirt off and he wanted to go “downstairs” if you know what I mean…. I tried leaving and getting off the couch but he would grab me and pull me back down… He never went inside my pants but he did get on the outside… He also was grabbing all over my butt and thighs… He even ended up trying to put the vibration of his phone on my “lady parts”…. I pushed his hands away and tucked up my knees so he wouldn’t do that again…then he pulled the front of my shirt out and was just staring at my boobs and he would grab my hands to stop me from covering myself up… Finally he stopped when his mom pulled into the garage but the whole thing went on for at least an hour or two…The whole situation has bothered me and that night I went to my friend’s room to sleep and I had nightmares about it and thought he kept coming back… Also I started avoiding my friend because I didn’t want to see her brother… A few months later though I had to go on a road trip with them and the whole time I was terrified of her brother and the mom began hating me because I was “being mean” to him… I’ve had to go on multiple other trips with that family and my friend is still my best friend but her brother freaks me out… I told my friend about what happened but she seems to take her brothers side and she tells me to get over it… I have told a couple other people but they too make it seem like I’m over reacting worrying about it. So I was wondering if they are right and if it really was no big deal, it’s now 4 years later and it still bothers me from time to time… I mostly just try and block it from my memory… So my Question is was that even considered sexual assault.?

Yes, this is sexual assault. That guy committed a peer crime against you called unlawful sexual assault on a minor. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I don’t think any of this was your fault. You did everything right in this situation. You can always report something like this to the police no matter how long ago this was. You can call the non-emergency police line at 916- 264-5471 or go to the police station to report. That must be hurtful that people are telling you to “get over it.” If you need help reporting or someone to talk to because this is still bothering you 4 years later, you can get free counseling with WEAVE or call our Support Line at 916-920-2952. It is very common for people to still think about what happened and get upset years later. Thank you for reaching out and telling your story. We are here to talk and support you with whatever you need.

If someone is drunk and passed out and wakes up to someone fingering and touching you all over, is it sexual assault?


Hello and thank you for contacting us for information. Sexual Assault includes any unwanted or unconsented sexual touching and penetration. The fact that the victim was intoxicated/passed out doesn’t change this. Please feel free to contact us on our 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916-920-2952 if you would like to discuss this further or if you would like additional resources.

I’m 17 and I just started hanging out with this girl again and she’s kind if bad. like she smokes and she drinks. I don’t have a problem with the smoking but I don’t normally drink. but anyways last night we went to this cabin and started drinking and we went back to her house with her boyfriend and his friend. well everyone knows i don’t like the friend, so it’s never been like a double date thing. and they always joke about us but I shut him down because I’m obviously not interested but last night after I passed out drunk, he came and woke me up and started touching me and stuff and I tried to say no and I did say no several times but I was drunk so I was laughing and he thought I was playing around so he put himself inside me and I still said no but I quit fighting it because he wouldn’t get off and I was so drowsy and still drunk. when I finally got him off, he kept trying to touch me everywhere and it really freaked me out because I didn’t want to do anything like that. and I didn’t know what to do because he would take my phone away from my hands and he wouldn’t let me sleep. but now I feel completely vile about myself and I’m repulsed because I feel so disgusting and no matter how much I scrub or how hot my shower water is I feel like I can’t get him off of me. I just want to know, should I tell someone? who should I tell? was this really sexual assault or is it just all my fault for drinking when I’m a minor? will anyone even believe me? will people think I made it up? I mean we were intoxicated but I’ve made it obvious I never wanted anything like that.

 

I’m so sorry that this happened to you. What happened to you is sexual assault. Just because you were drunk, no matter how old you are, you are not legally able to give consent (permission) for anyone to have sex with you. Also, you clearly said “no” and told him to stop.

It’s completely up to you if you want to tell someone. You can always call our support line at 916-920-2952 and anyone here will believe you 100%. If you wish to make a report, people on the support line can help you do that.

Also, since this guy did commit a crime you can report it to CPS (916 875 kids) and/or the cops (911). I want you to know that it is NOT your fault because you were drinking. Since you are describing some pretty emotional stuff it may be a good idea to start some counseling. Just to let you know, counseling is free here. I hope things get better soon. Thank you for reaching out.

Hello, My brother and I both recently turned 16. We are currently living with out aunt and uncle and cousins. One of our cousins, who is 18, has been continually sneaking up behind us, or forcefully come into our bedroom and proceed to slap our butts. He also asks jokingly to “spoon” with us, and sometimes even climbs into our beds. We constantly tell him no, but since he is bigger than us, it is hard to stop him. I feel this is sexual assault and I don’t like it. What should or could I do? Thank you for reaching out and being brave enough to share your story. You are absolutely right, unwanted sexual contact of any kind is sexual assault. You and your brother both deserve to live in a safe home without fear. You have many options and steps you can take to feel safe. You may consider contacting law enforcement or child protective services. If you are in Sacramento County you can file a CPS report by calling: 916-875-5437 or a police report by calling: 916-874-5115. You may also benefit from speaking to a counselor about your options and next steps. WEAVE’s 24/7 Support Line can be reached at 916-920-2952. Please remember what is happening is not your fault. If you are ever in a situation where you feel unsafe we encourage you to call 9-1-1 or get to a safe place.
So I was confused and wanted to know if this was sexual assault or rape. My boyfriend he went to touch my boobs after we had hugged and asked me if I wanted him to and when I did I’d always say yes but I didn’t want him to this time so I got quiet and slightly pulled away just didn’t say anything because I was scared how he’d react well instead of touching my boobs he switched and just shoved his hand down my pants and in my vagina but later he told me he ddnt know I didn’t want him to do it, so does this still count as assault or rape? Thank you for reaching out to us. It is normal to be confused and commend you for seeking clarification and support. Sexual assault is a general term used for any sexual act or threat without consent. This includes many things, including touching and penetration. Rape is penetration and/or oral penetration without consent. It is important to know that consent does not need to be verbal. I hope this information is helpful to you. You are welcome to call our 24 hour support and information line at 916-920-2952 for resources regarding sexual assault and/or counseling services.

I really need help, my past is on my mind and it is holding me back from my future. I am 16 years old now, but about three years ago right after I turned 14 I was dating this 17 year old. He was almost 18. We dated for a few weeks and then the day after my birthday he said he had got a special bottle of wine for us to share. We went to a park by his house and shared the bottle, but I remember the bottle always having the same amount in it as when I had handed it to him, I think he tricked me. I was young and naive, I got drunk and don’t remember the walk to his house. but the next thing I remember was him naked on top of me, my body felt awful and sore, my head felt fuzzy and groggy. I don’t think he would of slipped me something but I felt like I had been drugged. I still had my shirt and skirt on but I could feel that he had taken off my tights and my panties. He looked at me as if to ask permission but I just said no and he went inside of me anyways, It hurt so bad and I think I told him to stop but I don’t remember, I just remember crying and not wanting it. I don’t know how to tell any one about this and I don’t know what or if I can do anything now since it has been so long, I know his address and his name, before he stole my virginity I would occasionally stay the night with him and other friends at places and I would wake up to him playing with me or feeling me, and he told me it was okay. Please help me out. was this rape?

I am sorry that you are going through this and commend you for reaching out for support. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual act including what you described. Rape is sex without consent or if incapable of consenting due to intoxication or other circumstance. Please know that what happened is not your fault and you are not alone. What you are feeling is normal. You mention that you would like to move forward and oftentimes speaking with someone helps this process. You may call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916-920-2952 for information about our counseling services. Contacting Law Enforcement is also an option if you would like to report the incident(s). Please feel free to contact us if you have further questions or need additional support.

I’m a 14 year old girl, but I haven’t gotten my period. I eat healthily, and I excercise regularly. Plus the regular signs of a period have been happening to me for 2 1/2 years now! My breasts are growing and I have pubic hair and discharge, but I don’t have any armpit hair… What I don’t understand is that I’ve had these symptoms for so long, but NOTHING has happened. My mom started her period early, she was like 9 or 10 I think. What’s wrong with me? Do I have some disease? Please help!

The good thing to know is that everyone’s body is different. WEAVE is not a medical provider so unfortunately I don’t know much about this stuff. You can contact your primary care physician (doctor) if you have questions. If that isn’t available you can call Planned Parenthood at 446-5037 or Women’s Health Specialist at 451-0621. Hopefully they can help you with any questions or concerns.

So my girlfriend was raped by her cousin today (and many times in the past) and I told her she should contact the police or tell her parents. She said “No I’m fine.” So should I tell her parents? What should I do? I obviously don’t want this to happen to her anymore. I just want what’s best for her.

I understand your concern and I’m sorry that this is happening to your girlfriend. The cops would be the best. If she is being raped it’s a crime and her cousin may be hurting other people as well. If your gf is under 18, you or anyone can make a CPS report at 916-875-KIDS. We can help you do this at the support line at 916-920-2952 or if you have anymore questions or concerns, please call us. I would encourage your gf to call us as well. Rape is a very scary and confusing thing and we can support her through this time and let her know all the options/ rights. Your gf can also get counseling through WEAVE for free if she wanted it. I would also encourage her to get medical treatment for any injuries; possible STI’s or even pregnancy (if the perpetrator is a guy). WEAVE is not a medical professional but she can call her doctor if she has one. If not, she can call Planned Parenthood at 452-7305. Thank you for being an advocate for your girlfriend and reaching out.

So I had a friend named Logan, I met him through football and me and him were extremely close, I’d go over to his house pretty much every weekend until winter break, I’d passed out on the couch per- usual and around midnight i woke up and well, he was giving me oral. Shoving him off i asked what was wrong with him I’m straight to which he replied with “no please dude, Jessica (his girlfriend of whom I’d been friends with since the start of junior high) Loves my d**k I assure you will too” to which I repeated that was gay I was not and I’m leaving first thing in the morning ( I don’t have a driver’s license) So I feel back to sleep thinking that was the end of it, I was wrong. I woke up a second time to him naked standing over my crotch area, to which I punched him and locked myself in the restroom the rest of the night not knowing if he did something while I was asleep again or had I woke up just in time. So I didn’t have the heart to tell his parents what their son had done so I made up the excuse of not feeling well and asked them to take me home in the morning. I’m contemplating suicide as an escape and/or doing something horrible to Logan, I know it’s wrong but I can’t get it out of my mind, please help

I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. I hope that you don’t mind that I cut some of the story because of the length. If you are contemplating suicide there are various hotlines you can call to get support around that. California Youth Crisis Line is at 800-843-5200 is 24 hours and completely confidential. You can also get free counseling here at WEAVE because what you experienced was sexual assault. You can also make a police report by calling 911 so Logan’s name is on file and you can press charges if you want to go that route. Also, I’m not sure based on your and Logan’s age, but this may be a CPS case as well. You or anyone can call and ask if this is reportable at 916-875-KIDS. We can also help you do this through our support line at 916-920-2952. I hope this is helpful and I encourage you to advocate for yourself. If you have anymore questions or just wanna talk. Call us at the support line.

My friend has just informed me that he is being physically abused by both of his parents. It happens randomly and the parents act like nothing happened the next day. His father has broken his ribs and beaten him with a chair. I tried to convince him to tell someone, anyone but he refuses. I’m the first person he told. I have never dealt with something like this before so I’m just trying to find out as much as I can. I offered that I could call the police for him but he said that would just make it worst. What do I do! I HAVE to be there for him but all I can do is listen! Help me to convince him to tell someone who can do something!! Please!!!

I can see that you are really concerned for your friend and you should be. What he is telling you is child abuse (if he’s under 18 years old). I can be really hard, confusing and scary to tell a friend let alone an adult about these things. What I can say is that any mandated reporter would have to report this to CPS, but anyone can make a report. You can do this yourself or with him by calling 916-875-KIDS. Also, any teacher who hears about this has to report it by law and keep the source of the information confidential and anonymous. I would encourage your friend to tell an adult. The purpose of CPS is to get parents resources, not break up the family. They are also there to keep kids safe. If your friend feels that the abuse will get worse, being honest with CPS and telling them his concerns would be helpful. It sounds like your friend is in a really bad situation and I’m happy to hear that he has a friend like you there that supports him and that he trusts. If you have any questions or would like us to make a report please call our support line at 916-920-2952.

Can an 18 year old get into trouble with the law for spooning a 12 year old girl…I just want advice before I waste my time calling the police.

This would be a question for CPS. You can call them at 916-875-KIDS and ask if this is reportable. For this act to be considered a crime, punishable by law enforcement, it depends on if the child feels like the act is unwanted. This can present itself in ways like the child feeling intimidated and forced to spoon, they verbally say they don’t like, they may look scared during the act and the fear prevents them from saying anything, etc. If the child does feel uncomfortable around this situation they can call our support line or the California Youth Crisis line and get emotional support at 800-843-5200. If you have more questions or concerns, please contact our support line at 916-920-2952.

I’m a 18 year old girl, My mom’s ex-boyfriend is telling people that I ‘touch him inappropriately” he is a 44 year old man. He says that basically I am molesting him and since him and my mom are having custody issues with the court he wants to use this accusation to his advantage. I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO THAT MAN. I was molested by my brother’s dad when I was a little girl and honestly I don’t trust men. He knew this and for him to accuse me of such thing is outrageous. Is there anything I can do to report him or just do something. Because this really is getting to me emotionally. I’ve fallen back into depression because of this.

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this emotionally rough time and that depression is creeping back into your life. There are some things you can do. If you would like to talk to someone on our support line to get support around this please call 916-920-2952. You can also be asked to be directed to our legal department for a consultation and speak with someone about your legal rights. I’m sad to hear that you have a past childhood sexual assault. If you ever feel like you want to come to counseling and work through your depression and concerns, sexual assault counseling is free at WEAVE.

My step father had been struggling with a drinking problem for a about a year or two and things had been going pretty average but the other day my mom and I came home after he had been drinking a bit and I had taken a shower and saw him standing outside my window peaking through the curtains trying to watch me change I immediately confronted him and told my mom about it. My family is Christian and he said that he is never going to drink again and is going to talk to our pastor to get help and my mom says that if he drinks again we’re leaving. It seems like he does feel ashamed of what he did and my mom is always watching over my but I can’t help but feel terrified that something is going to happen again or that it will escalate. I don’t want to feel like I need to hide forever from my family but I also don’t want to leave the home I’ve been in for so long and leave behind my therapy dog. I’m scared and worried. I’m told to forgive and move on but I’m struggling so much.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this situation. Its sounds very confusing, invasive and stressful. I’m glad to hear that you confronted your stepfather and told your mother. That takes a lot of courage and bravery and you should be recognized for that. I’m also glad to hear that your mom is supporting you as well. It sounds like your stepdad is reaching out to others and that’s good but it may not be enough for you. Technically what you described is sexual abuse/ harassment and you can make a CPS report (if you’re under 18 years old). Anyone can make the report whether it is a trusted adult, yourself or someone else. You can call CPS directly at 916-875-KIDS or you can call our support line at 916 920 2952 and we can help. It sounds like you don’t feel safe in your own home which is not ok. CPS is there to support the family as a whole if you want to stay together or CPS supports each individual within the family. Their goal is not to take kids out of their homes. Also, you can also seek out the support line or counseling for the things you’re struggling with here at WEAVE. There are people who can help you. Good luck and stay strong.

Just to be clear this was last year and my boyfriend tried to have sex with me (we’re both 14 and i had never done anything like that with him) at a camping trip with our friends but I said no, so he got a bit annoyed and walked off, so later on I said I didn’t like his tent so we could stay in with someone else to avoid that situation again. anyway after a while everyone went to sleep and it was me, my boyfriend and another girl sleeping in a tent after a while my boyfriend woke me up by kissing me and touching my face so I told him to stop and he did and then a little while later I woke up with his hand down my pants messing with me and I pulled his hand out and told him for the last time to let me sleep and he did, if he done anything else I didn’t notice because I woke up the next morning and I felt really uncomfortable around him, so what I’m trying to ask is joules I have done something more about this and is it classed as anything bad?

I’m sorry that this happened to you by someone that you trusted. Technically what happened was sexual assault. Even though you didn’t have sex your boyfriend was touching you and doing sexual things when you were asleep. You cannot give consent or permission for sexual things when you unconscious or asleep. You didn’t do anything wrong and I’m glad you had the courage enough to tell him to stop when you were uncomfortable. If you are still having trouble sleeping because of this experience please call our support line at any time. Were 24 hours so you can call if it’s really late or early for some support or to start/ get more info on counseling. 916-920-2952. Thanks for reaching out and telling your story.

I’m 19 years old and I went in a date with my boyfriend who’s 23 I started my period the second I got to his house and him and I started messing around and he was wet down there from precum and he put his hand down there and felt it. I’m a virgin so don’t judge. He started rubbing the inner part of my labia and vulva and my clit. He can’t fully ejaculate though. I got my period a day late this month and it’s lighter than it usually is. Is there a slight possibility that I could be pregnant?? WEAVE is not a medical provider, therefore we cannot give medical advice. You can contact Planned Parenthood at (916) 325-1740 for confidential information. Also, they have a chat option on their website where you can ask questions online.
A couple years ago the captain of my swim team exposed himself to be and tried to force me to touch his penis. I tried to leave but he blocked my way out. Although all he grabbed was my arms i want to know if he sexually assaulted me. I was 15 and he was 18. I am not sure if i am traumatized or if i will ever get over it. He begged me never to tell because he was going to get a swimming scholarship and his dad was a principle. This is the only place i have ever admitted it. It’s a really hazy memory almost like if it was a dream. I think that if i find out if it was a form of sexual assault i will be able to seek help without feeling embarrassed that i am making a bigger deal than it is. Please help. Thank you for contacting us. What happened was assault in that he exposed himself to you, grabbed you, and tried to make you touch his penis without your consent. He knew what he was doing was wrong or else he would not have asked you not to tell anyone. I am sorry that you have not been able to talk about it until now as that must be a difficult secret to keep. We are here to help you process your experience.
im 14 and a muslim female. i love my religion and parents very much.
my parents are lovely to me but im not allowed to wear the type of clothing i want,i am stuck wearing traditional pakistani clothes which i find extremely emabarassing and is affecting my self condfidence.this may sound not like an issue to anyone else but means sooo much that i have days i cry myself to sleep. i have trips coming up and i just want to feel beautiful and fit in. what should i do?
That sounds very conflicting and frustrating. On one hand you sound very in touch and proud with your culture and the other, American culture is pressuring you to conform. I would try and have a conversation with your parents let them know that this is affecting your self-confidence and why you would want to dress differently. If you do not feel comfortable doing this, perhaps there is someone in your family or a trusted adult that they would listen to? If you would like to role-play this conversation or get emotional support, please contact out support line at 916-920-2952. Good luck!

I’m a girl and I like wearing boy clothes because it’s more comfortable and I’m more tomboyish and I hate bright colors like on most girl clothes. They have no problem when I’m cosplaying but as everyday clothes my mom says I can’t. It makes so sense!

That sounds very frustrating. Gender expression, if you look feminine, masculine, or androgynous, is a very complicated thing. Some people think that gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation is all lumped together but in reality it’s not. It is very common for girls to dress like boys and be heterosexual and identify as a girl still. It’s also common for people to feel like they are born in the wrong body. As well as girls dressing like boys and identify as lesbian. If you feel comfortable, I would talk to your mom about why she doesn’t want you dressing like. Have a conversation about why you want to dress like that. If you have questions, want to practice that conversation or need more support please call out support line at 916 920 2952. Good luck!

i gave a handjob to one of my guy friends, and he told someone i hate. She told her friends and they told their friends and now my whole school knows. What do i do? ( i’m 14) If people are talking about this incident at school it’s actually a form of verbal sexual harassment. I would tell an adult you trust at school such as a school counselor, teacher, yard staff. Check with your school and see if this is reportable. The school must then step in to make sure the rumors stop. In the future it may be wise to only to sexual things with people you trust so something like this doesn’t happen again. If you have any questions or need further support please call our support line at 916 920 2952

My whole life I feel like I have been abandoned, even if I’m only 15. When I was about 5, my brother began to beat me physically and I couldn’t fight back. It only made everything worse. It continued for most of my life and any time I tried to tell my parents they’d call me a liar and tell me it’s my fault he hits me anyway. They always said I provoked him and made him hurt me when I wouldn’t do anything. He used to beat me in public as well. We went to a park and he choked me. One of my friends told my grandmother but she called them liars and would pay no attention. He even beat me at school. Someone told my parents but they simply refused to believe my brother would do such a thing. Eventually though, the beatings stopped when he got to high school. From there, life seemed to lift up for me until there was a total crap storm. My brother and mother began to build tension in their relationship. They would argue and call each other horrible names. They both acted rather immaturely for their ages. But one night, i remember the exact date May 18, 2010 at 7:30 pm I was doing my homework for my science class. My mother began to scream at my brother and he yelled back. They charged at each other and my brother choked my mom. I was so afraid and scared, i began to hyper ventilate and I fell out of my chair. I ran to my room and cried because I felt like a coward. My father stopped the fight and tried to convince my mom to not do anything. I can quote exactly what she said “I will put a knife through his sorry ass throat. I hate him” hearing this shattered my heart and I cried harder. My father told my mom to think what I was going through seeing it, she said “I don’t give a fuck about what she sees”. From there, I began to feel hatred for her. Over the 3 year span since it happened, she has accused my father of turning her children against her. She tries to take her anger out on me and accuses my father of smoking marijuana and being a drunk. Her words hurt and with each thing she says builds an anger in me. She calls my brother a loser and he will never amount to anything. Even though my brother caused my misery and childhood depression I could never hate him. I’m afraid that I’m going to become so blind with anger that I will do the same thing he did. I have posted this before but never got any response. I need to know what I can do to help myself and my family from falling apart. Can you in any way help me or am I just a lost cause?

Hey,
I’m sorry no one got back to you last time. This sounds like a horrible situation. Since you are under 18 you can report any physical abuse you experience in your family to CPS 916-875-5437. The same if your brother is under 18 years old. You can tell a trusted adult, school counselor or someone here can help you on the support line. There is always counseling available to you and/or your family. If you would like more information about our services you can call the support line and see if anything is right for you. 916-920-2952. The line is anonymous and confidential. We just want to get you the help you need. Also, if you just want to talk to someone, you can call as well. I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Remember that abuse is never your fault and you didn’t do aFirst I want to tell you how brave you are for writing us today and reaching out for help. Emotional abuse is difficult to ignore as it can tear us down and be extremely painful. It sounds like your sister may be facing some challenges of her own and is taking them out on you. That is not an excuse and doesn’t make her actions okay. You are right to be bothered by her put downs and I am proud of you for recognizing your personal strengths. The decision to move with your father is only yours to make. I would recommend speaking with a counselor about your options and making a decision while you are calm and not upset. WEAVE has phone counselors you can speak with 24/7 who can offer support, listen and help you determine the best option. You can reach a counselor anytime by calling 916.920.2952. You may also find it useful to speak with a counselor at the California Youth Crisis Line. They may also have options and resources to help you through this difficult time. You can reach them at 800.843.5200. Please remember that, no matter what your sister says, you are strong and not alone.nything to deserve this.

My parents are divorced. I have a younger sister. I feel good about myself. I study hard, earn straight A’s, and am on my school cheer and swim teams. I may not be the most popular but I love my friends. Everyday when I come home my sister starts fights with me. I try to ignore her but she beats me down. She insults me, telling me I have no life, I will never have a boyfriend, how I am a looser because I don’t go to parties. I originally didn’t care but it hurts when I know she thinks I am a looser and won’t talk to me everyday. It has made living at home really hard. I try to talk to my mom but she doesn’t do anything about my sister’s bullying. I hate being at home and am thinking about moving in with my dad to get away from her. What should I do? First I want to tell you how brave you are for writing us today and reaching out for help. Emotional abuse is difficult to ignore as it can tear us down and be extremely painful. It sounds like your sister may be facing some challenges of her own and is taking them out on you. That is not an excuse and doesn’t make her actions okay. You are right to be bothered by her put downs and I am proud of you for recognizing your personal strengths. The decision to move with your father is only yours to make. I would recommend speaking with a counselor about your options and making a decision while you are calm and not upset. WEAVE has phone counselors you can speak with 24/7 who can offer support, listen and help you determine the best option. You can reach a counselor anytime by calling 916.920.2952. You may also find it useful to speak with a counselor at the California Youth Crisis Line. They may also have options and resources to help you through this difficult time. You can reach them at 800.843.5200. Please remember that, no matter what your sister says, you are strong and not alone.
Well, I’m in year six and its my last year of primary school, about a month ago I started going out with someone, they are really sweet and the kindest person that you will ever meet, but, last week My boyfriend came up and said, ” my friends dared me to hug you ” so I said. ” ok ” and I let him, but then I felt him get a you know.. Boner, and he began rubbing up against me, I didn’t really like that so I pulled away, what should I say to him? Wow, that must have been a really awkward and confusing situation. In healthy relationships it is important to have open communication. That means you’re not scared or embarrassed to talk to your boyfriend openly about stuff. I would maybe say how that situation made you feel. It would also be ok to ask him not to do that anymore because it made you feel… however it made you feel. Its good to let people know their boundaries around your body. If you need someone to talk to or have more questions please call us at our support line. 916-920-2952. Good luck!
I just saw 2 pictures of my 17 year old sister with only bra an undies posted on Facebook. Apparently she sent those pictures to a guy and he posted them with out her permission. Is there anything she can do about it. She feels awful and cant stop crying. Please help. That seems like a really hard thing to be going through right now. I’m really sorry your sister was disrespected in that way. I know that you can contact Facebook and report the pictures if they’re still up. Facebook has the power to take the pics down and maybe even freeze the guy’s account. Also, if you wish to prosecute you can get in touch with the police and make a report. It sounds like your sister is very stressed, she can always call us for emotional support and different options on our 24 hour support line at 916-920-2952. Hope this helps.
When I was ages 12-13 my (ex) boyfriend who is the same age as me fingered me and had me give him a hand job. He emotionally manipulated me in the fact that he would break up with me if I didn’t let him finger me and if I didn’t give him a hand job. He also emotionally manipulated me In the same way, into sending him inappropriate photos via text. Is this sexual assault? Or is it really all my fault? Once or twice I said no but he didn’t listen so I just gave up. Once I told him to stop and he wouldn’t. I had to physically remove his hand from my vagina… Is this sexual assault? Or sexual abuse? What degree of sexual assault/abuse is this? I haven’t told anyone and I won’t tell anyone I just want to know if what happened to me is against the law I am so sorry that he did that to you. It must have been very scary and confusing. Any sexual act that is unwanted or coerced is not okay. From what you describe it sounds like there was emotional and sexual abuse within your relationship. If you would like more information regarding teen dating violence and the services WEAVE provides that may help you process your abuse you can call our 24 hour Support and Information line to speak with a counselor. Our phone number is (916) 920-2952. Again, I am sorry this happened and I think it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help.
So I lied to my boyfriend, I told him I was 14, and he’s 15. But I told him e monthes later I was 13. I fell in love with him.. I didn’t mean to, and he fell in love with me. He ended up breaking up with me because I lied… he brokeup with me september 30 and he still says he loves me and wants me back and misses me but can’t trust me anymore. How can I get him back and make him trust me? Anyone..? It’s really hard to go through a breakup especially if you love that person. I can see that he still cares about you from your post but he is still feeling pretty upset. Maybe you can talk about his feelings around the lying. Does he feel hurt, betrayed, sad, etc. You can talk with him openly and honestly and see if that helps. You can’t make anyone do anything if they don’t want to do it. It’s not healthy to try and control other people. He needs to trust you on his own. Good luck. If you need any support please call our 24 hour support line at 916-920-2952
My girlfriend loves me but admitted that she would cheat on me with a certain celebrity if she hypothetically had the opportunity. It just makes me sad and hurt.. should I be concerned or just let it go because she most likely would never meet him anyway. I’m in love with her. It does sound like this situation would be very hurtful to hear from someone you love. There are some components of a healthy relationship that I am seeing. You’re communication with your girlfriend is open and honest which can be very good for the relationship. However honesty can also hurt someones feelings, like in this situation. Perhaps ask yourself, why she told you this. Was it to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself? If so, that can be an issue. No one can tell you your feelings are wrong. It may be beneficial to have a conversation with her and say you we hurt by what she said. You can also put up a boundary and ask for her to not tell you about those things. If you want to talk through this some more you can call out 24 hour support line at 916-920-2952.
I am… basically a trans boy, for these purposes. (Non-transitioning, if that matters for my question.) I was abused as a child, and when I was no older than 13 (my memory is fuzzy but the other child’s account indicates that year), over a decade ago, I assaulted another, younger child. I never talked about it or apologized for it, because I didn’t know whether they remembered or not, and if they didn’t I felt it wasn’t my right to bring it up again and retraumatize them. I never did anything like that to anyone else. They have now told my fiancee, who is a survivor of much worse abuse, what I did to them. They don’t want any contact with me. I am respecting their wishes. After a long talk about what exactly happened, how I felt about it then, and how I feel about it now, my fiancee says she still loves me, wants to get married, wants our relationship to be romantic, and believes I am a good person now. Understandably, she doesn’t want any sexual contact with me for the forseeable future. I am having a really hard time looking at myself in the mirror and not seeing a villain, and my jerkbrain is rearing up and using the fact that she doesn’t want sexual contact or to sleep alone in the same room with me as evidence that I am disgusting and a monster and can’t ever be a good person and still be happy or productive. Rationally, I know that’s not true, but I need a neutral party to talk to who has some experience in this area, and while I don’t want to use resources meant for assault *survivors*, I thought WEAVE might know where there might be resources that could help me. Can you recommend, for example, support groups for queer or trans men (or really, any men’s group that wouldn’t balk at the fact that I am not “biologically male”) who were abused as children that are free, or extremely low-cost, or provided through an area university? I’ve Googled but I haven’t been able to find anything. It sounds like you’re having a pretty stressful time. You can definitely seek low cost counseling here at WEAVE for any issue. However, if you would like to focus on the sexual abuse you suffered as a child, those services would be free at WEAVE. If you feel more comfortable, you can seek out the Gender Health Center for low cost counseling as well. If at any time you feel that you need emotional support, please contact our 24 hour, anonymous support line at 916 920 2952.
I just had oral sex yesterday and im scared that i could possibly get pregnant from it. I did give him a blowjob, and he did come into my mouth a bit, then after that we made out. Yes, we did exchanged saliva. Then he licked my vagina after THAT. Do you think there was sperm in my saliva when we made out? And do you think, after we exchanged saliva, and he licked me down there, that i could get pregnant? WEAVE is not a medical provider, therefore we cannot give medical advice. You can contact Planned Parenthood at (916) 325-1740 for confidential information. Also, they have a chat option on their website where you can ask questions online.
What do I do, when I have Asperger’s and my mum has multiple mental issues also, she is tricking me into fights, stopping me from walking away from the situation before it escalates, choking me and using force verbally and physically – she said “you’re the problem. You always have been.” I am so sorry that is happening to you. It is never okay for a parent to hurt you. If you are feeling unsafe and you are being hurt you can call 911. It is illegal for your mom to be strangling and hurting you. If you have a safe person at school to talk to they can also help you get support from the police and help you be safe. You may also call our 24-hour Support and Information Line for support and help. Our number is (916)920-2952. Again, regardless if you have Aspergers or not it is not okay for a parent to verbally and physically hurt you.
I was raped by my cousin from since I was 8yrs old he didn’t stop until I was in my early twenties, then I found out he was also raping my mother. Can i press charges against him? He’s admitted what he’s done and is now a member of the church surrounded by children. What can I do now 20yrs later? I am so sorry to hear that was your experience. It must have been very frightening for you. I am not aware of the statute of limitations where you are from. In regards to him being around children, if you have concerns that other children are at risk you can file an anonymous report with child protective services. If you would like additional support regarding how the sexual abuse has impacted your life and would like to speak with someone you may call our 24 hour Support and Information Line. The Support Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952.
my partners mother & father have a history of dv i am worried if my partner doesn’t move away from them we will have our unborn child taken away when its born as social service are already involved ? What should i do. please help me i have tried talking to my girlfriend about it but then her mother says she isn’t moving anywhere and is abusive and threatening violence on myself. My partner is 17 but she will be
18years old by the time our baby is born
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us for help. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation one that does not have an easy
answer. It may be helpful for you and your partner to sit down and
think of what potential good and bad can come from not moving. We
may also be able to provide you two with area resources that may
be able to relieve some of your worry as you wait to welcome your
baby into the world. It could also be helpful to speak with the social
worker regarding your concerns. If you would like to speak with a
Support Line counselor regarding your feelings and possible
referrals you can reach us at (916)920-2952,
My parents fighting had gotten out of hand. I fear for my mother’s life. My father I don’t won’t to say that he’s abusive. But I guess that’s what you call it. They get in verbal fights and mama gets in his face and then daddy pushes her. But I cannot take this anymore. My father has run off most family we have. He’s does not care. He drinks every day and whenever he drinks he gets mean. Not to me or my brother just whenever he and mom fight he will throw things. He won’t leave I wish he would. But daddy makes most of the money and mama has a job too just less paying. That’s why we haven’t left. When we do leave after a fight I get so happy because this is the step to be away from him. And then she comes back. It must be very upsetting to see your parents fight. It can also be confusing to have to go back and forth. It sounds like you care a lot about both your parents. There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships and money is a big reason. Parents sometimes do not understand the effect that domestic violence has on their children. It sounds like you are very observant and are aware of the conflicting feelings you have. It may be helpful to look over our website or call one of our counselor’s on the Support Line to review a safety plan and learn more about community referrals that may help you and your mother. Our 24 hour Support and Information Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952. There is also a teen hotline answered by teenagers and specifically for teenagers. The Teen hotline can be accessed by calling 800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only). Your school might also have onsite counseling available that could be helpful in processing how you feel about what you are experiencing at home.
I’m 16 my boyfriend is 19 i got pregnant and he would choke me and pin me to the bed bite me and pull my hair when we got in fights he always promised he never do it again so i stayed i had our baby he showed up to the delivery room high and then left me in the hospital the night she was born to go get high the day home from the hospital he threw me on the bed and then choked his mom he got arrested this time we got a TPO now it’s a month after this and now i can remove the TPO and he’s begging me to do so and i don’t want to I’m afraid he will take her and run and there’s nothing i can do about it he’s not right in the head he’s crazy when i told him he was crazy he told me no its just some of his personalities are crazy but that doesn’t make him crazy , while we were being intimate he had me beg him to stop because it turned him on i guess i don’t know but he’s not right in the head and i don’t want him around our daughter i have no idea what to do i want to get custody but i don’t know where to start in Ohio Also will this domestic violence charge give me the better chance of me getting her? I’m still in school I’m supposed to graduate in January and i don’t have a job but my parents buy her everything she needs I’m so afraid he’ll get her and he’ll end up hitting her too i just don’t know what to do. First, I am so sorry that happened to you. Being a new mother can be very challenging and having the added pressure of an abusive partner must be very difficult for you. Raising a new baby, completing school, and filing a TPO all takes a lot of strength and courage. Because we are based in California I would not be able to advise you of the laws or custody referrals in Ohio. The National Domestic Violence hotline is a great resource and they can help give you referrals specific to your area. Their number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). There are a number of behaviors you mention in your message that are concerning. You have every right to question what is best for you and your baby. It may be helpful to call the hotline so that you can speak with a counselor regarding your feelings and concerns. Sometimes just having someone to listen to you can help in deciding what is best for you regarding removing the TPO or maintaining it. Please know that you are not alone and we send safe thoughts and support to you and your infant.
I’m 13. I’ve never been able to meet or talk to any of my family on my deceased dad’s side. I found
out that’s because he said some things he didn’t mean when he got drunk and told his family that I
wasn’t his kid… I know I am, and I do have a way to contact them all. But I’m scared that they will hate me… What should I do?
That sounds like a really difficult situation and one that I am sure does not have an easy answer. Sometimes it can be helpful to write out what the good and bad things could be of reaching out to that side of your family right now. Do you have any support from other family members that may be able to help you make the contact? Maybe also think how you feel if you did not get the reaction from them that you would like. Are you thinking of writing them a letter or calling them on the phone? What would be the most comfortable for you? It may be helpful to speak with someone regarding your feelings and the teen hotline is a good resource for teens dealing with various issues and questions. The Teen hotline can be accessed by calling 800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only). You can also call our Support Line at (916)920-2952.
I need help helping my sister. She is young, and pregnant. She is very close to having her baby. She is currently staying with my grandmother because the babys father (who is addicted to meth) put a chainsaw to her stomach and threatened to kill her and the baby if she didn’t shut up. (She won’t admit it to the family, but she told my husband) I myself have heard him threaten to kill her and the baby if she tried to leave again when my sister butt dialed me and I heard her screaming Pleasejust let me go please and the line hung up. I thought he had killed her. He didn’t and she came home.. but she keeps leaving with him. putting herself and my future niece in danger. When they first got together she ran off to Alabama with him (we live in GA) and came home after she had to have a 4 hour surgery on her arm where he cut her. She told us that when she came home but now swears she did it herself punching through a glass window. My sister is not on drugs, she never has been, I dont understand how she can be with a guy like that.. our father was on drugs too.. but that should just keep us from men like that. Anyway, I’m worried about my sister.. but mostly my future neice. My sister is an adult WHO KEEPS PUTTING HERSELF IN THE SITUATION but my neice is a helpless baby who cant make a decision for herself. I’m terrified of him hurting her. I’m terrified of him getting angry on one of his binges and hurting the baby. He lives in a known meth house with his dad.. the baby cant live there. My gramz and I feel that my sister is going to go back with him when the baby is born because she keeps sneaking off with him for days at a time. I’m scared and I don’t know what I can do.. or the steps I can take to ensure my neice will be safe. Is this more of a legal question?
Subject:
This sounds like a very scary situation for your niece and family. You can call Child Protective Services if you feel like your niece is in danger, which it sounds like she is. The number to CPS for Sacramento County is 916-875-5437. I believe that you can file an anonymous report. If you would like us to file a report for you then you may call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at (916)920-2952. If you have concerns for her safety you may also call local law enforcement and ask that they do a welfare check. This sounds like a very stressful situation I encourage you to take care of yourself and find a safe person to talk to. It may be helpful to call the Teen hotline at (800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only) – See more at: http://teenlineonline.org You can also text TEEN to 839863.
My grandfather is a very tempered man. He gets out of control and he is known to abuse his wife mentally and physically. My grandma is a very sweet woman, and has some faults, but should never be punished the way he does. I am not trying to say he hits her every chance he gets, he only does that every once in awhile. My grandma is planning an escape, but she just needs to wait for some more money. She doesn’t want to come forward because she just wants to make a clean break from him. But, he threatens to kick me out of his house and threatens to hurt me. I want to visit my grandma at her house but he is always there. I would get a restraining order, but how would I see my grandma? I am so sorry to hear that is going on for you and your grandma. The violence you describe is domestic violence and possibly elder abuse depending on her age. Elder abuse is for anyone ages 65 and over. If you would like to call Adult Protective Services to file a report their number is (916) 874-9377. I believe that you can file an anonymous report. If you would like us to file a report for you then you may call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at (916)920-2952. If you have concerns for her safety you may also call local law enforcement and ask that they do a welfare check. I would check with the Family court house or an attorney regarding your rights if you were to get a restraining order.
Hi I was wondering if You guys let High school senior leadership students hold A dress drive or something where you guys bring in some dresses so people in the school whom cannot afford a prom dress or has no mom or parents to help them can get a perfect dress. ? WEAVE does have a program just like that called “Cinerellas’s Closet” program. The closet provides Sacramento area teens with free gently used prom dresses, shoes and accessories. In order to sustain this program we rely on donations from the community as well as dress drives. We encourage teens to participate in and organize drives for this program as it allows them to give back to WEAVE and the community. For information on how to get started and hold a successful drive please email info@weaveinc.org or call 916.319.4907.
I’m 18, been fighting with my boyfriend for several days (I haven’t made contact with him thanks to him forcing me to take a break), I tried to tell him that I wanted our relationship to end and for us to go back to being friends, but he wouldn’t let me and started making harsh insults to me, then telling me he always wanted to be with me and loved me. I’ve tried telling him I’m sorry and despite the fact he’s forgave me, he wouldn’t let me break up with him, forced me to make a promise with him that we can’t break up. He made me take a break, but a break up with him he refused to allow. He even told me that his decision is his decision and that there’s no point in convincing him. All I want is to just break up with him and be done with it, but I don’t want to hurt him or get hurt myself. Any advice, please? I’m sorry you have to go through this. Break ups are already difficult but having someone refuse the break up just sounds even more stressful. It may be a good idea to talk with your family and friends about this in order to create a safety plan. You may also want to document any ways that he may harass you. If you continue on with the break up and he begins to harass you that is against the law and you could get a restraining order if you need to. If you do need to get a restraining order you can get one by going to the “Family Court House”. WEAVE has a 24/7 support line at 916-920-2952 if you need someone to talk to for support or if you need any resources. We also have counseling and can receive the details to our counseling by calling the support and information line.
Yesterday, I woke up to find my friends boyfriend in the bed, spooning me and with his hands in my pants. I pushed him away, climbed out of the bed and left the room. His girlfriend – my friend, was next to me, I was in the middle – why did he climb in behind me? As I climbed out of the bed, I glimpsed that he had his bits exposed. I pretended I didn’t see and I went outside to calm down and gather my thoughts. I’ve tried to block it out but I think I may break.
I am now sat at my desk and feel alone and violated. How dare he help himself? I have only ever been with my 3 boyfriends and I have never ever had even a random kiss with anyone. I am very protective of my body. I feel absolutely violated, and I’m devastated and I have no idea what to do about it. I can’t believe it.
You have every right to be upset about his actions. Unwelcome sexual advances are not okay. It may be helpful to talk with someone about what happened. Speaking with a Support Line counselor might give you the emotional support you need to process what happened. You are welcome to contact the 24-hour Support and Information Line at (916)920-2952. We have counselors available day and night to assist you.
Should I seek help? I am male and currently 17 and have always been worried about my weight. I was a fat child and got bullied for it. Later at the start of high school, i started to throw up and fast. Also during this time people started complementing me on my looks, because it turned out I had that classic thin model look (i.e. high cheekbones, sunken cheeks etc).The fact is I am a very vain person so I loved the attention. The problem is that now when bored I diet I am now 183cm and weigh 66kg, keeping in mind that i have a wide solid build, but I have not received the same attention as before and it is only encouraging me to lose more and more weight. What should I do, because don’t even know if I want to change…I’m never sure how I feel. It can be difficult to change unhealthy patterns when there is some form of positive reward/feedback coming from them. First, thank you for reaching out and letting us know what you are experiencing. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. An important first step could be to contact your physician. Eating disorders and body image issues are not our specialty but there are places that specialize in those areas. A good resource is the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) and they can be reached by phone Call their confidential Helpline, Monday-Friday from 9:00 am – 9:00 pm (EST) by dialing 1-800-931-2237. They also have an online chat option that can be reached at http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org .
What’re some ways to get over my ex-boyfriend? He recently broke up with me (about a week ago). And I can’t seem to get over him. I’m on summer vacation so my mind has a LOT of free time to think, and he is what my mind seems to keep coming back to. I’m really mad at him for what he did, but I still have deep feelings for him, and I want those feelings to go away because they are holding me back from having fun with my life. We said we will stay friends, and he’s been texting me every once and a while, as very distant friends. This is not helping me get over him; it’s just making me madder at him. I really want to move on because it’s not worth moping around hoping for some miracle to save me. What can I do to get over him? It sounds like the breakup was very recent and it is normal to have feelings of loss over a breakup. It could be helpful to set some limits with him regarding the text messages and maybe let him know how you are feeling. If you would like to speak with a support line counselor you are welcome to call our 24-hour Support and Information Line at (916)920-2952. If you would like to speak with another teen regarding your relationship questions you can call the Teen Hotline at (800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only) – See more at: http://teenlineonline.org/about/contact/#sthash.BPmnsyxR.dpuf. You can also text TEEN to 839863.
My friend left her husband and family and we think she is in a safe house. How can we know for sure where she is and if she is safe? Would a safe house let her talk to us? Most Safehouses like ours do not disclose whether someone is or is not in their shelter. This is for safety reasons. If she has a personal cellphone or email account it may be helpful to try to reach out to her that way (if you have not already). Some shelters provide safe phones for someone to use that is a number that the abusive partner does not have. Someone just leaving an abusive relationship may want to have some space while they consider what the best course of action for them is. If you would like to call our Support Line to discuss how you are doing you are more than welcome to. Our 24 hour Support Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952.
How does a “long distance” relationship work? This coming up school year, my boyfriend and I will be splitting into two different high schools going into our freshman year. I won’t be able to see him hardly ever, which will be really hard if we r going to make it work out. In what ways can I help this relationship work well so that he doesn’t lose interest in me? Thank you for taking the time to message us regarding your relationship question. It sounds like you have some concerns regarding what your relationship will be like once you both attend two different schools. Unfortunately, we do not know how your relationship will be impacted as every relationship is different. It may be helpful to call the Teen hotline at (800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only) – See more at: http://teenlineonline.org/about/contact/#sthash.BPmnsyxR.dpuf. You can also text TEEN to 839863.
My friend left her husband and family and we think she is in a safe house. How can we know for sure where she is and if she is safe? Would a safe house let her talk to us? Most Safehouses like ours do not disclose whether someone is or is not in their shelter. This is for safety reasons. If she has a personal cellphone or email account it may be helpful to try to reach out to her that way (if you have not already). Some shelters provide safe phones for someone to use that is a number that the abusive partner does not have. Someone just leaving an abusive relationship may want to have some space while they consider what the best course of action for them is. If you would like to call our Support Line to discuss how you are doing you are more than welcome to. Our 24 hour Support Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952.
How does a “long distance” relationship work? This coming up school year, my boyfriend and I will be splitting into two different highschools going into our freshman year. I won’t be able to see him hardly ever, which will be really hard if we r going to make it work out. In what ways can I help this relationship work better so that he doesn’t loose interest in me? Thank you for taking the time to message us regarding your relationship question. It sounds like you have some concerns regarding what your relationship will be like once you both attend two different schools. Unfortunately, we do not know how your relationship will be impacted as every relationship is different. It may be helpful to call the Teen hotline at (800) TLC-TEEN (852-8336) (toll-free in California only) – See more at: http://teenlineonline.org You can also text TEEN to 839863.
Please read the whole thing… I know its long, but its kinda important to me, thanks.. Sorry, I don’t know if this is the kind of question usually asked here..

I’m almost 14, and he’s almost 15, and we got together while we were in school for about 2 months and I thought things were perfect, but then unexpectedly he broke up with me. I was heartbroken, so when he fessed up that he still had feelings for me I didn’t think, really, and we got back together. We waited till school was out, as to not cause drama. Once we got back together,he would text me or message me on Facebook every single day! And he would always be the one to text first! And AT LEAST once a day he would tell me he loved me. He would tell me really sweet things. Now, I havent seen him in over two weeks. And a few days ago, he told me he was starting a track/running training thing and he has to stay dedicated to that because they told him he could do really well if he stays focused. Idk if that had something to do with it… But pretty much ever since then, he hasn’t been contacting me very much, I have to be the one to do it first. He doesn’t talk to me like his girlfriend… He hasn’t told me he loves me unless I say it first. And even when he says it back, there isn’t much feeling behind the words. It makes me feel unwanted.. I really love him.. (by the way, we are going to different highschools next year just so ya know).. And I am feeling really sad and lonely right now. What’s happening with him? And how can I make it better? Thank you to whoever can help me:) I appologise for the long message… I just need some support right now, thanks!!!!!!!!

I know relationships can be complicated and there sometimes isn’t one answer to make things better. I know that if you are feeling lonely and or sad it could be a good question to ask yourself what can I do for myself to make “me” happy. Something outside of your relationship with him. For example an activity or sport or a group of friends you like hanging out with. Also if you haven’t already had an honest conversation with him about how you are feeling it might be a good idea to have one. Either way it goes remember to use the support and care you have from other so that you don’t have to go through anything alone.
How do I know if I am bi-sexual? I don’t know if I have an answer to that. Sexual orientation is such a person journey for each individual. Here are a few resources that can help. L.Y.R.I.C (Lavender Youth Recreation and information Center) 800-246-4564. Also the Gender Health Center 916-455-2391.
Hi. Umm. I just wanted to ask someone, well you see there is this boy and I like him alot. We’ve been secretly dating for 4 months. I am Hispanic and he is black. My family is racist so what do I do? Do I breakup with him to keep my family happy? Do I continue to see him, risk moving away and be disown by my mother? It doesn’t sound like there is easy answer for this. I know that if (it is safe to do so) being vulnerable and having those uncomfortable conversations with our parents about certain topics like dating can be good and have a potential for everyone to grow. I know that it can be really hard to live with parents that may not share the same mindset as you I would encourage you to talk about your feelings around these issues with a trusted friend and or adult.
I know its a somewhat stupid question but i will go on vacation with a bunch of friends, i really don’t like someone there and i am afraid that i can become like him. I don’t know why but i fear that i change myself because he has a humor i hate and i really like mine. I don’t want to spend too much time with the person. Is my character actually able to change to something i dont like? I think that we all can act and behave in ways that were not proud of. If you notice your character or personality changing in ways you are not comfortable with it might be a good idea to notice what is causing the change and make choices that will steer you in a better direction. That may mean hanging out with different people. Or if you’re not going to choose different people to hang out with it may mean making goals for yourself to not change, and or making a pact with a friend that if things get uncomfortable for you when hanging out with that group of friends you 2 have a way out of the situation. There can be a variety things you can do for your situation I would encourage you to talk to a trusted friend/or adult about it to see if you can come up with an option that feels most comfortable for you.
I suffer from really bad anxiety and it makes me not want to do things. I tell my mom she has to drop me off at school a certain way and time otherwise I’m afraid of someone judging me that I’m too late or early and have no one to talk to before classes. And I have anxiety about going places. I am terrified of my first cheer practice because I am the only person on the squad who has never cheered before and I’m not friends with anybody on the squad. And to help out with all of that I don’t think I am very good so I feel like I am going to make them look worse as a whole. We are going to start conditioning soon and I’m scared for that. I’m not in the best shape and I don’t want to be the quitter I made a commitment and I need to stick to it.
I just don’t know how to feel more confident with the things I choose to do. I want to know how to handle it.
Thank you for contacting us as anxiety can feel very scary and it can be difficult to feel confident when anxiety takes over. First, congratulations on making the cheer squad. You must have made a good impression on the coach in order to be selected for the squad. It can feel scary for lots of people to try something new and to join a new team. It could be helpful to get some tools to help with your anxiety and to notice when you first start to feel anxious. It may sound silly but taking time out to catch your breath and take some good, deep breaths in can make a big difference. It could also help to bring something small that brings you comfort (such as a small seashell or a rock) and keep it in your duffle bag during practice or in your pocket during school. Another helpful tool is making some notes for yourself that you have in your room that help lift your self-esteem. Statements like “I can do it,” “I am an important team member” can all help. Small things to reduce your anxiety and boost your self-esteem can go a long way. You can also call our 24-hour Support Line at (916)920-2952.
I don’t understand my own feelings. How can I fix this?
I’m sorry I know this is a hard question.
Thank you for contacting us with such an important question. Your question is an important one and not one that can be answered easily online but we can give it a try. There are four basic emotions – happy, mad, sad, and scared. It may be helpful to try to think of your feelings under those four emotions (instead of ecstatic, alone, furious, etc.) to see if it becomes easier to pinpoint how you feel in a given situation. It could also be helpful for you to speak with someone over the phone or in person about what is going on for you and other steps you can take to identify your emotions. It may be helpful to contact the teen hotline to talk with other teens who are peer counselors to get some ideas on ways they thing you can approach the situation. The number for the teen hotline is 1(800)852-8336 they also have a texting options. To text the teen line, text “TEEN” to 839863 between 5:30p-9:30pm to speak with a peer counselor. You are also welcome to call our 24- hour Support Line at (916)920-2952.
Would it be too weird if I asked my ex to come back, after 3 years since I broke up with him? We’ve been close friends for 2 years now, so I don’t have a problem talking to him. I was his first girlfriend, and he was my first boyfriend. He has had a few girlfriends since our break up, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want me back again, does it? ahh What should I do? :/ Thank you for taking the time to reach out as it sounds like you are feeling uncertain as to what to do regarding your ex. If you feel comfortable talking to him about whether or not he likes how things are now or if he would like to go back to dating that might be a good first step. If you are not comfortable with that it may be helpful to contact the teen hotline to talk with other teens who are peer counselors to get some ideas on ways they thing you can approach the situation. The number for the teen hotline is 1(800)852-8336 they also have a texting options. To text the teen line, text “TEEN” to 839863 between 5:30p-9:30pm to speak with a peer counselor. You are also welcome to call our Support Line at (916)920-2952.
I was sexually harassed/assaulted every day at school for 3 years. I
feel stupid, but I’m afraid of him. And I’m totally uncomfortable taking off
my sweatshirt when in class with him. I wanted to look into the free
counseling in my area but I don’t want to tell my mom. I know my school
called her and told her when I reported him a month ago but she never said
anything to me. I feel so weak and I don’t want to tell her I want help.
Plus, I don’t want to talk to her about how I feel and I know she’d tell me
to do that instead. She’s my only form of transportation, so I can’t do
anything without her knowing. I don’t know what to do. :/
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and feeling alone. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and I commend you on not only reporting the assault but also on contacting us for support. Three years is a long time to experience assault and to see him every day at school must be really difficult. I am not sure if your school offers counseling services but that may be a good place to start as you would not need transportation to get to counseling. If you have already looked at that option, WEAVE does provide 8 free counseling sessions to survivors of sexual assault. It sounds like you are not sure if your mom would be able to bring you to your counseling sessions. If you would like, you are welcome to call us on our 24 hour Support and Information line at (916)920-2952. We can provide you with more referrals, information on receiving counseling at WEAVE, some tools to help you manage some of the anxiety you have at school, and provide you with support. Please know that although you may feel alone, you are not alone. We are here to help you.


When I was a child, another child assaulted me. I have dealt with it the best I can, and I am proud that I have worked through all the triggering and such. The problem is that I live in a small town and the person who assaulted me keeps popping up. The person went to the same High school as me, so I switched high schools. But like I said the town is
small and there have been various other incidents like that. I have become completely anxiety-ridden and I don’t feel safe in my own city. I feel as
When I was a child, another child assaulted me. I have dealt withit the best I can, and I am proud that I have worked through all the triggering and such. The problem is that I live in a small town and the person who assaulted me keeps popping up. The person went to the same High school as me, so I switched high schools. But like I said the town is
small and there have been various other incidents like that. I have become completely anxiety-ridden and I don’t feel safe in my own city. I feel as
though I should move to a new town or something, and that I can’t move on and be successful where I am now. Is moving a good idea? though I should move to a new town or something, and that I can’t move on and be successful where I am now. Is moving a good idea?

 

Thank you for reaching out to us to share your story and current challenges. It sounds like living in your current town is proving to be very difficult with your rapist there and that is understandable. A change of scenery may be good for you. It may be helpful to sit down and make a pro and con list for moving. Sometimes it can be helpful to make a decision when seeing what the pros and cons are on paper. You may also contact our 24 hour Information and Support Line that can provide you with support and be a sounding board for you while you review your options. It does not sound like it is an easy decision to make or an easy situation to be in. Hopefully by weighing the pros and cons and contacting our Support Line for information you will be able to make a decision that works best for you and your future goals.
Ok so im 16 and i dated this boy for about 6 months
He broke up with me about a month ago and said that it wasnt my fault it was his. but tomorrow hes going to the moives with this other girl to hook up with her. i love him so much and i get extreamley jelous when he talks to ther girls. what do i do to stop him from hooking up with this girl, i have no way to get in contact with him either to tell im how i feel :(
Break ups can be very difficult. In order to have healthy relationships it is important not to try and control the other person so instead of trying to stop him from hooking up it would be a healthier choice to try and find safe supportive people to talk to about your feelings. It is normal to have some of the feelings you’re having but it’s important to find a safe outlet for them. If you need a safe and confidential person to talk to WEAVE has a support line, the number is 916-920-2952.
Question:
Is my mom controlling? If I make a mistake, she yells at me until I cry(I just dropped a small empty garbage can down 5 or six steps is the most recent example). If I do something wrong she calls me an idiot She always says she’s way prettier and says “i should be jealous of her” She threatens to take my dad to court for things such as an hundred dollars for a medical bill Nobody can spend anything because *money is tight* yet she just bought a 50,000 dollar brand new pearly white mini van without my step dads permission. And an iPhone five. Se constantly goes on about how beautiful she is.
She put s GPS tracker on my phone She wouldn’t let me use her old iphone she was going to throw away until I gave her four hundred dollars in cash If I tell her something she needs at least one other person to verify it I have a 4.0 GPA and I still can’t be trusted.
I can’t get a job She constantly tells my step dad to “f off” if he can’t do something for her She constantly refuses to let my dad see me
I just don’t know if this is normal and I’m overreacting or not.
I definitely feel you have every right to have your feelings and it sounds like a very difficult situation. You may not be able to change your Mother’s behavior towards you but it is important that you have safe people to talk about your feelings regarding what’s going on. WEAVE does offer counseling (need parents permission). If you would like to talk with someone over the phone you are more than welcome to contact us. We have a 24 hour Support and Information Line. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
I did not want the intercourse but i felt like if i really did not want it why did i put myself in that situation? Or why fawn over my rapist for days after… i thought i was friends with this guy. Just friends. Even though he called me a “whore” constantly and was always asking to have sex with me which i would always say no to but I’m not a very good person so i feel so guilty for it. And one time we went to his friend’s house to smoke weed (which i was okay with it) but after i was very stoned. And all of a sudden we were naked in some bathroom. I didn’t even remember how i got there but i did not want to be there. I just wanted to hangout and i was very uncomfortable but i didn’t physically object or verbally object. I was just in this dreamlike state. Like i wasn’t even present at that time. This happened three more times. If it was rape why did i keep going back to this guy? Why would i consider a guy who called me “whore” everyday a friend? Thank you for taking the time to write to us and share what you have been experiencing. You are asking a lot of really good questions. The situation and experiences you described do sound like sexual assault and that you were not in the frame of mind to consent to the sexual act. Sexual assault is a very difficult and often confusing experience and can be even more confusing when the person committing the crime says they are your “friend.” You do not deserve to be treated this way and it is not your fault. It also sounds like this guy is not only physically and sexually abusive to you but verbally abusive as well. WEAVE offers free sexual assault counseling and if you would like to talk with someone in person or over the phone you are more than welcome to contact us. We have a 24 hour Support and Information Line as well as free triage counseling on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10a-1pm and Wednesdays from 4p-7pm. Again, you raise some very good and common questions regarding sexual assault and the challenges it raises when the perpetrator is known to you and is masking the sexual assault behind the veil of “friendship.” Him hurting you, calling you names, and assaulting you is not OK.

Are there any classes for my daughter and father who is very
controlling? She lives alone with him and is very stressed out.


I would like to find a way to help them learn to
communicate in a healthy way.Why does my family always think I’m rude or trying to fight with
them??? I never fight with anyone in school, I always help when I’m asked no
matter who its for, when you don’t ask my family I’m really fun and cool, and
yet… at home, my sisters and parents seem to constantly think I’m being
rude. I picked up my sister’s glasses off the counter so I can put my
computer there, and I get “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” “But I didn’t do anything.” And
then Mom walks in, “Get over here! What are you doing?!” “Nothing at all!
Seriously!”… That didn’t end well. And then one even stupider. I sit down,
read a book, set it down, and pretty much zone out. “Whatcha looking at?”
“Nothing” And yet again I get yelled at! What am I doing wrong? And why don’t
my parents notice that I really didn’t mean anything by it? And why do they
just keep yelling even though I pretty much every time end up crying? What am
I doing wrong??
Can 14 year old leave her home and live with her best friend if her parents scare her, she feels unsafe in her home, she has depression yet her father is canceling their counseling sessions, her mom threatened to choke her, and she has been hit/pushed about one time?

 

Thank you for your inquiry regarding groups for teenagers and their caretakers. Some schools offer counseling and group activities that may provide support and communication tools. It may be helpful to see if her school offers any counseling resources for teens and their guardians. She may also call the 24 hour Support Line at (916)920-2952 to get more information and support regarding healthy ways to cope with her stress and interact with him. The CA Youth Hotline is another great resource for teens and their number is 1(800)843-5200.

Thank you for taking the time to write and share what is going on with you at home. It sounds like you need some extra support regarding interactions that are going on at home. It may be helpful to call a teen support line. There are two hotlines that you can call and get support from that are specifically for teenagers. The CA Youth Hotline is 1(800)843-5200 and the Sutter Counseling Teen Hotline is (916)386-3620. You may also call our Information and Support Line at (916)920-2952.

I am not aware of the AZ laws so I can’t give advice regarding some of the things you have brought up. It’s never ok for someone to be abusive or violent with another person you can always call 911 when your or your friend is in a violent or dangerous situation. WEAVE does have a support and information line that is available 24/7. You can call that number for support, information or if you or your friend needs to create a safety plan. The number is 916-920-2952.

i am a 17 year old junior as of now i will be 18 in september and
will then be a senior next year. when school starts (in september as well). this year my dad, (who i lived with) and i both signed a piece of paper stating i will be moveing back to michigan with my grandparents and a judge granted them guardianship. i no longer talk to my dad and dont feel the need to either, however i do talk to my mom everyday does this mean i cant move out when im 18 and still in school next year? or will i have to go to court to ask and get permission from a judge ?
I am not a legal expert so I can’t give legal advice. I suggest speaking with a legal representative. If you need resources, referrals, or support WEAVE has a 24/7 support Line available at 916-920-2952.
Am i overweight and fat? I am 5′ 6″ and 108 pounds. I think it is common for most or all woman to question their weight at times and have to deal with body image issues. We live in a society that is inundated by images on advertisements/media/ magazines that tell us that beauty is a specific image that can be unobtainable for most. I encourage you to talk about these questions you’re having with a counselor medical doctor or anyone in your life who is a good support person for you. Here are a couple of other referrals of places you can call to get support: CA Youth Crisis Line 800-843-5200, and the Sutter Counseling Center Teen Hotline 916-386-3620. WEAVE also has a 24/7 support line at 920-2952 if you need to talk to someone.
One of my parents-the one I (in like 5 hours the one I used to live with) live with hit me,shoved me, AND threw 2 brushes, a blowdryer, screamed “if you don’t get out of my house right now…”, “I will kill you”, and they tried to through a ladder at me. I have to go live with my alcoholic parent now and my brother said that this parent was abusive. I don’t want to live with either of my parents but sadly I don’t have a choice It may seem like you don’t have any choices right now but I encourage you to talk to adults that you trust and let them know what’s going on. Maybe an adult at school or a relative or a friend’s parent. It’s great that you’re writing here and reaching out for help but here are a couple of referrals that can also help: You can always call the Police or Child Protective Services (916-875-5437) when you feel that the environment you are living in is not safe. Here is a couple of hotline numbers specifically for teens: CA Youth Crisis Line 800-843-5200, Diogenes/WIND Youth Services1-800-339-7177, and the Sutter Counseling Center Teen Hotline 916-386-3620. WEAVE also has a 24/7 support line at 920-2952. We are mandated reporters which mean that if you give us specific information about yourself and the abuse we have to make a report to CPS (just as a heads up). It is never ok for someone to threaten to abuse you or abuse you your options sounds really dangerous and my hopes are that the adults that you choose to talk to help make sure you’re in a safeplace.
I left my abusive marriage over 10 years ago, but our 2 teenage daughters are suffering psychological and verbal abuse. We have a legally binding 50/50 arrangement but what are my options? I cannot just turn a blind eye to what he is doing (no physical abuse, but verbal and manipulation/control/mind games). My oldest daughter is finally opening up to me and I know how hurt she feels inside. My middle daughter is played as the “good” child and the informant by her father, using the divide and conquer technique. Can you offer suggestions? Thank you for and help now, and for the help the first time around.
Mom J
I know it took a lot of courage to leave ten years ago and I’m sorry you are going through some of the same abuse still. I can’t give legal advice as I am not an expert in that area but I know that it is always a good idea to document (date/time/incident) any type of manipulation or verbal abuse. You can show this to a legal expert or attorney to see what legal options you have. Another option is calling CPS at 875-5437 to see if the abuse is reportable to them. It may be something they can investigate. As far as options to emotional recovery WEAVE has counseling available for you and/or your children. You can start counseling by going to our counseling triage. You can get the specific dates and times for triage by calling our support and information line at 920-2952. The support and information line also has a live counselor you can talk to for emotional support as well as information and resources the number again is 920-2952. I think it’s great that your daughter felt safe to open up to you. The more support and positive things you and your children have in your life the better. Thank you for reaching out for help you don’t have to go through this alone.

He’s cheated on me, lied to me, and humiliated me, but I still took
him back. For the first three months(though it is still true), I was 100% faithful and had not even thought of cheating on him, but he cheated on me. We broke up eventually and then he told me how important I am to him… Long story short, I took him back. Now, after almost 5 months, I think I have a crush on another guy. With my boyfriend, we’re both so busy and he’s normally so uninterested that we don’t spend much more time together than a couple of hours a week. When we do have time together he doesn’t seem to enjoy it too much but still claims he loves his time with me. Should I feel guilty? I haven’t acted on it or anything. It’s just not like me to have feelings for someone else.

Your feelings and confusion are completely normal. Part of being a teen is learning about relationships and focusing on building healthy relationships. You need to decide if your current relationship is healthy and positive for you. Only you can make this decision but always remember that you deserve to be happy and supported in the relationship.
From the summer going into 9th grade I truly started to question my sexuality. It wasn’t until December of my 10th grade year that I decided to come out to my best friend and my sister. The reason it really started in that summer is because I met my best friend. Before that I just thought my attraction to girls were just natural, but, sadly, I’m in love with her. It sucks. Our relationship had always been very jokingly “lesbian.” As in we joked around of being into each other, at least she was joking. Every time it got to that joking point I wanted to back out because I didn’t want her to know the truth that I was truly falling for her. When I decided to tell her last winter break, it was over Skype. Another plot-twist, she lives far away. So it’s not like i can do much about my feelings. Anyways, I know I love her and after I told her…I liked and said out “lesbian” jokes were just jokes. Since then it obviously hasn’t bee the same in that sense but she, along with my sister, are very supportive in helping me find out if I’m bisexual or just lesbian. I guess I should mention that she is also going through a very tough time in her life. She is depressed and her bulimia, even though it is being trreated, isn’t getting better. I miss her, and I was hoping to see if I’ll visit her over spring break. So…I guess my question is should I hold it in? It really is killing me not to tell her, she is my best friend and as far as I know straight. I know you get this a lot… “should I tell my straight best friend I love/have a crush on her?” But honestly I don’t think I can hold it in anymore. I don’t want to hurt her though, I know what she is going through and I went through depression myself, with suicidal thoughts not bulimia, during 7th & 8th grade. To tell you the truth she was the one that helped me through it just by being there. Anyways…I’m not asking for a straight answer if you feel you can’t give me one, just advice on my feelings, but most importantly what should I do to try to help her through this time? First, thank you for being brave enough to share with us and ask for help. It sounds like you are struggling with your own identity as well as how you want to define your friendship. Relationships can be challenging even when we don’t have other factors influencing them. I’m hearing that, not only are you going through a lot, but your best friend is also which may be adding to the challenges. Being there for someone who is struggling can be difficult especially when you love them and want the best for them. Deciding whether you want to remain friends or share your feelings with her will be a difficult choice. That is not a choice you have to make alone, as there are many counselors and resources that can help you decide how to move forward. You are right that there is not a straight answer as the answer will depend on what you are comfortable with and what you feel is best for both of you. You mentioned having suicidal thoughts in the past and that your friend was there for you . It sounds like you have a very strong friendship. If you are in a place again where you have suicidal thoughts I want to encourage you to reach out for help and talk to someone, like you did by writing to us today. The National Suicide Hotline is a free, confidential and nonjudgmental support system that you can access anytime by calling 800.273.8255. California also has a youth crisis line that you can call anytime for support or if you have questions. They are also a confidential and nonjudgmental resource you can use anytime by calling 800.843.5200. Calling a counselor can also help you learn ways to support your friend through her struggles and decide if you are ready to share your feelings with her. Phone counselors may also be able to help you locate resources where she lives that she can access for further help.
I am currently 17 and pregnant, living with my mom. The other night she attacked me and because I bit her trying to get away I almost got arrested. My question is how can I legally het out of there permanently? Living with violence, of any form, can take a large toll on us emotionally. You may find it useful to speak to counselor, either on the phone or in person, for resources and support. A counselor can help you determine your best options and establish a safety plan should violence occur again. You can reach a WEAVE phone counselor anytime by calling our 24 hour support and information hotline at 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a legal advocate/attorney, in person, about your options and next steps. WEAVE offers free legal triage at two locations for convenience. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm. Our Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I, Sacramento, CA 95823) offers triage on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm.
I’m 13 years old, & I’ve never taken dance lessons, but I want to. Is it too late? Will it be too hard for me to learn & be able to keep up? It is never too late to learn something new. As we age we evolve and our goals evolve with us. You may find it helpful to share your concerns with your dance instructors and follow any specialized advice they may have. If you would like to speak with a counselor about your concerns you may call 800.843.5200 to reach the California Youth Crisis Line for free and confidential support.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year and I got into a university across the country. It is my first pick. If I go she will move back to new zealand with her family. Me and her have been through so much and never broke up, even after me constantly lying to her. If I stayed and went to a lesser college for one year and than transferred to a better one (SFU) we could move in together and her parents would leave to new zealand here. Me and her will never break up, unless I left. Should I stay or go? We have been through so much together and could be together forever but i’m not sure what decision to make. I love her so much!! Balancing the goals of a relationship alongside our personal goals can be very difficult at any age. Planning for the future is never easy and should always include thoughts about what will ultimately be the best choice. You may find it helpful to speak to a counselor about the obstacles you are facing. It sounds like this decision could greatly impact your choices. A counselor can provide confidential support to help you decide which goals to follow. You can speak to a confidential phone counselor anytime by calling the california youth crisis line at 800.843.5200.
My bestfriend and I have become really close over the past year she knows I have feelings for her but she doesn’t know what she wants. The bond we share is indescribable. How can I umm how do I say it, win her over? She is super complicated and sometimes I feel as if she plays with my emotions. Honesty, communication and respect are important parts of a healthy relationship. You may find it useful to have a conversation with your friend and let her know how you are feeling. Not just your romantic feelings but also that you feel she may be playing games. For ideas about starting a conversation or ways you can safely share you feelings you can call our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line. A confidential phone counselor can help you determine your best options. This anonymous line can be reached by calling 800.843.5200
Please help me! I seriously need help. Ok so me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex on my ovulation date, he pulled out (edited for content and length). my period was due the 22nd and I haven’t gotten my period. It is already the 26th…I’m really scared that I’m pregnant, I been stressing myself out over it, I took 2 pregnancy tests they both came negative.. WEAVE is not a medical provider and cannot provide medical advice. Based on the information you provided, you should be seen by a medical professional. WEAVE’s 24 Hour support and information line can refer you to free and confidential medical support. You can reach a phone counselor by calling 916.920.2952
my dad fights with his girlfriend EVERY time I am at his house. Once he kicked a door in, and he calls her the b-word every week. she cries all the time. I stay one week with my dad and one week with my mom. I go to counseling but I can’t talk because my dad will find out what I say, and i already told them that my dad gave me an indian burn, hurt the girlfriend once, and yells at me all the time. My mom used your business to leave my dad years ago, but he shares custody of me. I hate him and I don’t want to be here anymore but i’m afraid if my mom goes to court he will get angry. I don’t want to go back. Can I refuse to go back. (Edited for content) First I want to let you know how brave you are for asking for help. Please know that the abuse you are witnessing and experiencing is not your fault. While you cannot control this situation your mom does have options and resources to help. Your mom can call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information Line, at 916.319.4907, to get more information about our Legal Services. You may also find it helpful to speak to a confidential phone counselor at the California Youth Crisis Line. This anonymous line can be reached by calling 800.843.5200
Is it normal to have felt depressed for more than 5 years? age 11-16, and still feel depressed? Depression can be a serious condition. You may find it useful to speak to a mental health professional about how you are feeling. This can help you determine the cause for your depression and learn ways to cope with these feelings. You may speak to a confidential and compassionate counselor anytime by calling the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200
There is this guy I liked
for a long time since like September . (Editted for length & content) I asked my friend if she would come with me to the restroom and she asked him if he wanted to go (keep in mind I’m not out yet ) we went to the restroom and I kept hearing my stall
shake but he was asking if he could come in. I opened the stall and he tried making
out with me and I pushed away cause I knew my friends were outside and I
could not let them find out. Now they’re mad at each other and I really wanted to get to know him . Should I add him on FB Instagram or
???
Teen relationships are hard and this can be complicated when you are trying to get to know someone while still being rightfully protective of who you choose to share your sexual identity with. Wanting to get to know someone you are attracted to is fine and should not require the approval of others but please be careful about the use of alcohol as it clouds judgement and you may make decisions you would not make sober.
I would not actively commit suicide, but I would not prevent my own
death were something to happen. For example, I would not jump out of the way
if a car skid out of control towards me. Does that still make me suicidal?
While you may not be actively contemplating hurting yourself, your awareness of not wanting to keep yourself from harm is a concern. Please reach out to a trusted adult and share your feelings to ensure you have a support system. You may wish to call the California Youth Crisis Line and speak to a confidential counselor about your concerns. You can reach a counselor 24/7 by calling 800.843.5200
I made a prank call to a girl who slept with my boyfriend I didn’t harrase her or anything just called her a slut and hung up I did this twice withing about 2 weeks of eachother. She went to the police the second time and she must have thought it was my boyfriend because the police called him telling him to stop. I’m really worried I’m going to get caught now will the police continue looing into this and find me or will they leave it now? I had my number on private. I have learnt my lesson and will not do this again I just hope that its all dropped now do u have any advice on this do you thing the police will continue looking into it and track me down? Please I am so scared I regret it so much. It is important to remember that all actions carry consequences. It sounds like you were angry about the situation and used the phone calls as an outlet for that anger. It is also important to learn healthy ways to cope with emotions, like anger. Speaking to a counselor may help you to find healthy ways to manage emotions and move forward. You may wish to call the California Youth Crisis Line and speak to a confidential counselor about your concerns. You can reach a counselor 24/7 by calling 800.843.5200

A 21 year old male and an 18 year old female plan have sex and plan to use protection. What’re the odds of her getting pregnant if they only use a condom? Can they depend on just the condom or is the combination a condom and contraceptive pill a better choice? And when and how is the pill taken?

WEAVE’s services focus on healthy relationships and supporting survivors of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. We applaud your decision to be thoughtful and to protect yourselves but WEAVE is not a medical provider and cannot provide medical advice regarding the effectiveness of contraception. Please contact a reproductive health professional.

Last year my (female) friend met a guy online and sent nude
pictures of herself to him. She has also sent other men online nude videos and pictures. When her parents found out, she became depressed and started choking herself with her hands. She has told me and him that she is still choking herself. She has also told me that she thinks about killing people or herself. I’m going to speak to a guidance counselor in a few days about her but I’m not sure. I don’t want her to hate me or to start drama, but we’re concerned and don’t want her to kill herself or anyone else. I could also tell my friend’s mother/have my mom talk to her mom, but apparently my friend’s mom dislikes me and I have a feeling she won’t listen. What should I do? Should I talk to the guidance counselor, should I tell her mom, should I wait it out?

Please tell a guidance counselor as soon as possible. Your friend’s behavior is not safe and she is at risk. Telling a guidance counselor will ensure an adult knows about the situation, will take it seriously, and can take action to get your friend the help she needs. You are being a good friend and doing the right thing by getting her help.
I created an account on hotornot.com to see what people responded about a picture of mine, using an email id which i deactived, gave gake name etc. After getting weird visits and messages from guys lol, I was assured and deleted the acc. IS IT SAFE as I did not delete my profile picture before deleting the account! I hope the site won’t access/allow users too access my photo for harassing me?! We should always use caution with the information we post and share on the internet as safety cannot always be guaranteed. When we post photos and personal details on a website we often give up control of the image and the content we’ve posted. Many websites will share their privacy practices and these should be consulted prior to posting content.
Can weave help a homeless teen find a place to stay and find work? WEAVE’s services are primarly for survivors of domestic violence, dating violence and sexual assault. Our friends at WIND Youth Services offer many services for homeless and runaway teens. WIND advocates can be reached by calling 916.369.5447 or stopping by the center located at 701 Dixieanne AVE in Sacramento.
Hello. I’m 15 years old and have had sex once unprotected but I finished with a condom. (edited for content) I’ve done lots of research because I’m scared I thinkg I could have hpv or just normal puberty as some sites said. But I just want to know if you think it can be an std help me please. WEAVE is not a medical provider and cannot provide medical advice. Based on the information you provided, you should be seen by a medical professional.
My boy friend wants me to convert to become a Mormon and I’m not comfortable with that and I don’t want to disappoint him. What should I do? In a healthy relationship you should never feel pressured to do something you are uncomfortable with. It is important to remember that choosing the right path for you should not disappoint your boyfriend. You may find it helpful to speak to someone about your situation and how you are feeling. Our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line are available 24/7 to offer confidential support. You can reach them today by calling 800.843.5200
Hi, im a 15 yr old guy and my best friend is 14. She is determined to run away from home due to stress at both her homes. She is a very spirited and stubborn girl. I have tried everything to make her stay but I cant. This is something thats very surprising because i’m the only person she listens to and actually wants to know the opinion of. I told her I can’t make her stay, but to at least stay until I can help her. I really don’t want her to go but I know there is now way I can make her stay and if I can’t i at least want her to have a safe place to stay. Does WEAVE have a program for runaway teens to stay? Thank you for reaching out and helping your friend. It sounds like she is dealing with a lot at home and feels that running away is her only option. It is important to be there for her but please remember that you cannot take responsibility for her actions. She may not feel comfortable speaking to her parents, but finding an adult she trusts to talk to may be helpful. This can help her discover ways to cope with what is happening at home and find solutions for the stress she is experiencing. A trusted adult can be a teacher, a counselor, an aunt/uncle or even a neighbor. She may also feel more comfortable speaking to a counselor on the phone by calling the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200. This can help her feel supported and find resources. You may also call and speak to a counselor to help find more ways to support her.
I am 20 years old girl. I am starting to think that I am not normal and that is affecting my life. I know that I am beautiful, a lot of people are noticing that, I know that I can be very outgoing and fearless when I want to, I try reaching my goals and have high moral standards, I am aware whats happening in life..but I just don’t like myself, sometimes I even hate things that I say or do, how I react to things, just wishing I was somebody else. I have NEVER let someone close to me, always pushing wonderful people away. Sometimes I feel like I am different in every situation and don’t know myself. I just feel like I don’t get something and find that one person looks so unreal. That fear of being alone…maybe it seems not a big problem, but it really is its completely taken my motivation and is ruining me in very bad ways…I just want to hear an honest opinion. (edited for length) Relationships can be very complicated and often involve emotions that are difficult to control. Feeling comfortable sharing those emotions with another person can be scary and difficult to balance. It is important to remember that what you are experiencing is normal. Opening our lives, experiences and emotions to another person can be a very scary thing at any age. Talking to someone about how you are feeling may help you to better understand and manage your emotions. Learning to cope with our own emotions can make it easier to open ourselves up to new possibilities. Caring, compassionate and confidential phone counselors are available to help 24/7 and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952.
When should I be concerned if I am not having depression? There are days that I don’t even get up, have no motivation to do something and feel sad for myself, and sometimes when I get over that I am very outgoing, I guess that most people around me don’t know that because I am usually find around people. What can be wrong with me? Depression can be a serious condition, even if we do not experience it all the time. Speaking to a mental health professional can help you determine the cause of your depression and learn ways to manage your symptoms. You may also speak to a trusted adult, teacher, school counselor or your parents if you are comfortable. Our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line are also here for you with 24/7, confidential help. You can reach a counselor by calling 800.843.5200
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now. He’s been lying to me since we been together. He always tells me what to do and I do what he tells me. I’ve been trying to do the same to him but he wouldn’t do a thing I say. I gave him so many chances. He told me he would change but he never did. He’s just getting worse. I’ve been using some tips from the internet on how to make him/er understand but it didn’t work. He started to accuse me and ignore my calls and text messages. He always make lies to me to believe that he was busy but I found out the truth. I feel like I am getting used. The only time he’ll call is when he’s bored and the only time he talks nicely to me is when he wants something from me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried to leave him a lot of times but I couldn’t because I love him and I still want to be with him. I’ve cut myself a lot of times just to feel better but it only lasts for a while. I don’t know what to do anymore. Relationships can be complicated at any age as we are often experiencing very complex emotions. When we love someone, no matter what age we are, we want to try to make things work. In a healthy relationship both people are working together towards this goal through trust, communication and understanding. It sounds like you may be contributing more to this relationship than your boyfriend. Please know that you are not responsible for his actions and that nothing he does is your fault. It can be hard to let go of someone you love, but you have to remember to take care of yourself as well. Cutting is used by many teens as a coping skill to help relieve that complex emotional pain. I want to commend you for recognizing that this relief is only temporary. The reason you only feel better for a while is that cutting doesn’t make the pain go away it only masks it for a short time. Cutting can also be very dangerous and more harmful than the emotions you are feeling. Talking to someone, like a counselor, can help you process your emotions in healthy ways. You can talk to a confidential counselor on the phone or in person about your feelings and learn ways to cope. If you are comfortable speaking to someone on the phone you may call The California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200. WEAVE also offers in person counseling if you prefer speaking to someone face to face. he first step in accessing WEAVE’s counseling services is to attend a free triage session during walk in hours at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm – 7pm. Our Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I, Sacramento, CA 95823) offers triage on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm.
Just recently my ex-partner and my 2 weeks old daughter moved out, im having a hard time coping without her being around and am getting the urge to cry, I’m used to the crying and waking up at night i miss it, i miss her, I don’t know how to cope and could really use some help. The loss of a relationship can be very difficult and it sounds like you are dealing with very complex emotions. It is normal to miss your daughter and to be upset. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about how you are feeling. This can help you learn ways to cope with this situation and begin to heal. Our phone counselors are available 24/7 and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor in person by attending a free triage session at one of our locations. WEAVE’s Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m.
Im in eight grade and I find that because of my depression (from a breakup) I am annoying people around me. I want to seclude myself from everyone because of that. Im extremely sensitive so when my “friend” says negative things for real or as a joke, it really hurts. I told her that but she turns that into a joke too. She told people that I was pregnant as a joke but a few months ago I thought I was and I accidentally told her. She still makes jokes about it and I really want to hurt her every time she says that. Things like this happen all the time to me. Im the bud of people’s jokes. For these reasons and more I want to just not talk to anyone again.

Managing intense emotions and dealing with depression can be challenging at any age. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and I want to commend you for reaching out. If you feel you may hurt yourself or someone else, it’s important you reach out to someone who can help you get support. You may find it helpful to speak to an adult or a counselor about what you are feeling. A counselor can help you with your depression and help you heal. The California Youth Crisis Line has confidential phone counselors who are available to help 24/7. You can reach a counselor by calling 800-843-5200.

Can I ask a girl out to prom/homecoming, whatever, even if we are from different high schools? It sounds like you want to ask a girl but aren’t sure whether it is allowed. Each school may have different rules or guidelines when it comes to activities like dances. You may wish to check with your school first to verify that they allow students from other schools to attend dances.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years and I’m a freshman in college and he’s a senior in high school. He is going to graduate this spring and I’ve been thinking about it lately…He came to my graduation party last year, but we barely talked and he wasn’t there very long. But he also didn’t give me a gift or even a card. He also didn’t want to come hang out after with just my family and I. I think we were in a rough spot in our relationship and we even broke up that night because he said he wanted some space. We got back together a couple days later and have definitely grown since then. My question is. should I forgive and forget? My natural instinct is to do exactly what he did to me so he knows how I felt. But I know that probably isn’t the right thing to do…what should I do? (edited for length) Healthy relationships include trust, communication and honesty. Part of communication is sharing feelings in a constructive way. It sounds like you may still be upset about incidents that took place in the past. Speaking to your partner about your feelings may help you to resolve them and move forward. You may also find it useful to speak to a counselor about your relationship. This can help you determine the best course of action. Phone counselors are available 24/7 on WEAVE’s Support and Information Hotline by calling 916.920.2952.
My parents are Christian and a little strict. I cant cut my hair (that includes trimming) or dye it. I can’t wear nail polish, make-up, pants or skirts that are above my knees. The way I dress is not how I want to dress. Im kinda sick of being told what I can and cant wear. I don’t know what to do about it. I want to dye my hair and get a haircut. I want to be able to wear pants and nail polish. I know it sounds silly but this is starting to drive me crazy. Following rules is a part of life that will always be consistent. The rules will change, as will the circumstances, but the choices we make will always be influenced by rules; even some that we may not agree with. When we are growing up our parents set the rules based on what they feel is the best choice for our futures. Once we are grown up we can modify those rules in some ways but we’ll also have a new world of responsibility to adjust to. All relationships, even with family, require trust and open communication in order to be successful. You might find it useful to speak with your parents to see if you can find a middle ground or set up a system where you can work towards rewards like haircuts or nail polish. WEAVE knows that speaking to your parents can be difficult, which is why our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line are here to help you brainstorm topics and decide the best way to approach the subject. Their 24 Hour, confidential, hotline can be reached by calling 800.843.5200.
Hi. I’m 14 and I have been going through a lot lately and to take my mind off I cut myself. I have tried other things but nothing else seems to work. I have been to 3 school counselors, my previous pastor, my parents, older sister, one of my teachers and many of my friends. I try all of their suggestions but nothing is helping. My only boyfriend (now my ex) found out about it and until recently, made jokes about it which just me me cut more. I have seen so many people about it and I appreciate their advice but nothing is helping. First, I want to commend you for reaching out for help. I know it can be frustrating especially when you have sought help before that may not have worked for you. Managing our lives and dealing with strong emotions can be difficult at any age, but especially when we are young and still learning how to cope. Coping skills are behaviors that “kick in” when we feel stressed or overwhelmed by a situation. It sounds like you may be using cutting as a way to cope with the pressures you are facing. You are not alone. Many teens who cut do so in order to gain relief from negative feelings. This relief is short term as it masks the symptoms but does not relieve the underlying problems. It is important to identify which feelings and situations will trigger this response. Many people are unsure of why they cut or what is triggering this coping mechanism, this is where the advice of a mental health professional can be helpful. Speaking to a mental health professional can help you determine the cause, learn healthy ways to process the emotions and cope with stressful situations. You may find it helpful to speak to a crisis counselor at the California Youth Crisis Line, a resource that can be reached by calling 800.843.5200. WEAVE also offers community counseling services available to help at sliding scale fees. The first step in accessing WEAVE’s counseling services is to attend a free triage session during walk in hours at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm – 7pm. Our Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I, Sacramento, CA 95823) offers triage on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm.
I’m thirteen and this all started when I was about ten. All my life, I’ve been home-schooled, and in the fifth grade when I was ten…Everything changed. Started going to public school – big change- but I was soooo excited about it. New place, new people. But I was crushed..I was severly bullied. I started cutting and I looked in the bathroom mirror thinking “wow, you’re fat!” I started starving myself. (edited for length/content) I guess I’m asking you…Do I have to diet? What can I do to stop the bullying? I have talked to adults but they done nothing. Was pulled out of school last year…but it still happens. Thank you for reading, any help is kindly accepted. It sounds like you are dealing with conflicted feelings about your body image and self esteem. Bullying can cause emotional harm, but you are not alone and help is available. If you need to talk with someone about your feelings, the California Youth Crisis Line is a resource for you and they can be reached at 800.843.5200
Ok so im a straight girl and i was dating this guy for about six weeks but he dumped me about three months ago. I have been struggling with depression ever since. I met this guy two grades higher than me who has been trying his best to help me get through. I’ve seen him three times but we text alot. I really like him but he’s 100% gay. I think if I keep talking to him, its just going to hurt me more because i know he doesn’t like me that and proably never will. People say im weird and wrong for liking him. Am i? What should i do? Relationships are difficult to balance at any age, but especially so when we are young and still learning. Struggling with feelings like depression when a relationship ends is normal. Please know that you are not alone and help is available. Developing feelings for your friend is also normal, as he is supporting you through a difficult time. While the feelings you are experiencing are normal it is also important to establish boundaries with your friendship. A healthy relationship, whether romantic or not, should consist of mutual trust and respect. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about how you are feeling. This can also help you develop coping skills and set boundaries in your healing. WEAVE’s counselors can be reached 24/7 by calling our Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. You may also wish to speak to our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200 for support.

My male friend cut me off completely and I have no idea why can anyone help me out? So i have this friend and he suddenly stopped talking to me he avoids me at school and won’t respond to any of my text and I have no idea why but I’m extremely hurt. So I’ve liked this guy for the past four years but for the first two he had no clue. The third year we finally talked about it and he told me that he has a problem and we can’t date but he wouldn’t tell me the problem. My best friend later talked to him and told me he said that he had habits and a bad lifestyle and he respects me too much to pull my into it. I don’t know if I buy it but I delt with it and we continued to be friends. This fourth year we got closer then we ever were talking everyday, walking to our lockers and class together (I’m 17 & in high school) and often he was the last person I talked to each night and I’m sure I was the last he talked to. So as we got closer I began to like him even more and I felt that he liked me too but we suck at communication. Then suddenly it all stopped he doesn’t even come to lunch anymore and he won’t respond I any of my messages not even Merry Christmas even though he responded to several of my friends. I’m really hurt and I want to say sorry for what I did wrong but I don’t remember doing anything and I hate that he pushed me off. He’s the first guy I’ve ever cried over and I’m a very level headed girl but I just can’t figure him out. Can someone please try to help me at least. I know I need to talk to him but that’s hard with him ignoring me and get way too nervous around him to ask what I need to know. I can’t believe I still get so nervous after being friends with him for so long. We’re so different but.. It’s hard to explain hopefully you guys can help me from that information.

Relationships are challenging at any age and rejection hurts. We can’t explain why your friend has cut you off but encourage you to not blame yourself for his actions – he controls how he is going to respond to any situation and blaming yourself makes you responsible for his actions which you are not. If you have reached out and been honest, you have taken the steps you need to and it’s up to him to decide how to respond. Try to focus on being the strong and level-headed person you are and when he is ready to talk focus on being open and honest – any relationship (friendship or dating) needs to be rooted in healthy communication and respect. You deserve this.

Ok so i hang out with this girl and her boyfriend. she is 16. well her boyfriend has an older brother who is 38. he looks at her in about the same way her boyfriend does, and im not sure if i should be worried. i know they dont have a relationship, she wouldnt do that, but its just that he seems to flirt with her and it makes me uncomfortable. do you think it is something to be worried about? i have talked to her and her boyfriend about it and they dont seem to be worried, the older brother is a bit of a child at heart, plays with legos and such, but still i dont know how to feel about it. subject. i just dont know if i should be more concerned than i am

When a situation feels uncomfortable, there’s normally a good reason – even if you can’t quite explain why. A 38 year old man should not be flirting with a teenager. You’ve told your friend that the older brother’s behavior does not feel appropriate and brought it to her attention – this is good. You’ve shown her you are concerned for her and can be a supportive person if the situation changes.

Hi a good friend of mine is a teenager, the same age as me. Well actually she “was” my girlfriend and we broke up today. She wasnt being open with me and was hiding her problems from me and I hated that. Today after explaining to her how much I truly care for her, she explained all her problems. She explained how she has bruises on her face because he dad hit her and the reason was because she didnt take her medicine. She also showed me pictures of her cutting her hand, and I saw the blood. She also said how she is going to be leaving me in a week or so. I asked why and I was shocked. She said it was because her dad wants her to go to India and study there for a year. Shes in the middle of highschool and we just started dating, I feel so helpless. She also said that her dad is not very nice with her and that he doesnt care about her. She says that he doesnt even treat her like a daughter. She “was” my girlfriend, but I really care for her still, and I want to know what options are available. Can she be stopped from going to India? Can she be provided better parents? Who should I contact? Is it possible that her passport gets suspended or something and she gets denied not to go to India? Her dad just bought tickets today for India. She doesnt want to go by her will. She wants to remain an American Citizen and continue her education and life in America with both her parents.

As a minor, your friend is under the care of her parents and while sending her away does not sound like what she wants, her options are limited unless she reports the abuse. If your friend is being abused by her father, she can tell a trusted adult like a teacher who would report the abuse or she could could choose to report the abuse herself to Child Protective Services for her safety. There is no guarantee that an investigation would result in her being removed from her home. She is lucky to have you as a friend and supportive person – you may need support as well. You may want to talk with the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200 for support.

I feel so on edge. I can’t get this anger out of my system, and when I’m not she-hulk, I just feel un-easey. Like I’m waiting for my impending judgement. I don’t know. I don’t feel comfortable around anyone, and that includes myself. All these pre-judging people who just presume my life is just some boring straight line becauase I’m quiet around them, like different things and don’t throw house partys, they know nothing about me. About my brain, I have the feeling that one of these days I’ll wake up and find myself in a mental hospital. And I’m not actually joking. My brain is just so messed up at the minute, I don’t know what to do. I start to shout at people before I realise what I’m doing, I just get really angry at the smallest of things and I can’t prevent it. No one will calm me down because they think it is entertaining and then they just ‘congratulate’ me for screaming in some one’s face. I’m worried what this might develop into, whether I actually will cause some one pain. I just… I wish I had some way of keeping my distance. From everyone. I also constantly feel like I’m in captivity. Like this world is just a cage and I’m trapped. People say the sky’s the limit; and that’s the problem. I know I’m selfish, taking this world for granted, but there’s a whole i my heart that can not be filled by this Earth, by this life. I’m in a prison with no bars, no enclosing barriers of which to see, but I can feel it.. What do I do?

It sounds like you are struggling with some very strong emotions and a sense of helplessness. If you feel you may hurt yourself or someone else, it’s important you reach out to someone who can help you get support. If you are not comfortable talking with your parents about this, please seek out a trusted adult at your school. If you need to talk with someone about your feelings, the California Youth Crisis Line is a resource for you and they can be reached at 800.843.5200.
I was born here in California but moved to Texas when i was 8 and lived there for 10 years (teen years) now im 17 and im back to living in California where my moms family and dads family lives. I have one older brother but we havent talked in 2 1/2 years already due to our bumpy road in the past. I have a little sister but shes young and our relationship isnt turning out how i would like it to. My parents and i have an okay
relationship we just arent close as a family. Although i have a lot of family here i feel like i have no one to talk to and its my senior year im
graduating with people i dont know. I left my all my close friends, my house, my boyfriend, and i feel like my whole life. Its been really hard on me these past few months to the point where i want to leave and go back but i cant and just cry. I knew i wasnt going to adjust to the change fast but its just taking longer than i expected and i feel alone. I feel like i need something to keep myself busy or just to talk to someone but i dont know what. I just
feel so stressed and overwhelmed with this big move.
Moving and leaving friends behind can be stressful and an adjustment at any age. The feelings you are experiencing are completely normal and I want to commend you for being so brave and reaching out for help. While life events, like moving, can be overwhelming they can also be an opportunity to explore new areas of interest and new groups. There are many activities you can engage in to meet new people and support to help you get through this adjustment period. You may find it helpful to contact our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line for support and to brainstorm your options. You can reach their confidential line by calling 800.843.5200
If someone you had been crushing on, for 9 years now, finally starts showing you the attention youve been wanting. But, he is in jail..And also your bestfriends brother. I’m 18, hes 22. Should I go for it? Choosing relationships can be difficult at any age, especially so when we are young and still discovering the right paths for our lives. Deciding what you want from and what you can contribute to a new relationship is an important first step. A healthy relationship is a balance of trust, respect, communication and a mutual understanding of each other’s needs. In order for a relationship to thrive both parties must be equally invested in the success of relationship. If you feel this is a relationship worth pursuing it would be wise to have a conversation about what you both want and what you can both contribute. It is also important to remember the limitations that his current situation may present for you both moving forward. While a relationship is about two people, it is also important to make sure you are mindful of your personal safety and choices separate from that relationship as well. You may find it helpful to speak with a phone counselor about how you are feeling and any concerns you have. WEAVE’s counselors are available 24 hours a day on our Support and Information Line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952.
So here’s the thing. I’m a girl. Me and my friends were having a Skype group chat and someone added this guy. Since then me and him have been talking a lot. I told some girls about it and one girl said he was off limits, because apparently they dated. So I asked him and he said they didn’t. Some time ago he commented on my picture saying I’m hot, I said I’ll take it as a compliment, and then the friend called him an name (edited for content) Late she messages me to stop and tells me again that he’s off limits. I asked her is it because they ‘dated’ or because she likes him. She didn’t get the message yet. Tomorrow I’m seeing her at school so what should I do? And should I tell the guy? She’s one of my good friends, but I really like this guy. I know this is typical teenage drama, but I’d appreciate advice. Honesty, respect and trust are important elements for both our romantic relationships and our friendships. Balancing these relationships, in a healthy way, can be difficult at any stage of life. Part of this balance is making sure to treat the people in our lives with respect, but also that the respect is mutual. If you are interested in a romantic relationship it is important to decide if you like this person enough to risk a friendship. You may find it helpful to contact our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line for support and to brainstorm your options. You can reach their confidential line by calling 800.843.5200
My friend had a past drug usage. It was a one time thing, it was just peer pressure. But then she hung out with the wrong people again and is drinking alchohaul(she’s only 13) what should I do? Watching a friend go down a dangerous path can be very difficult and I want to commend you for seeking help. The most important thing you can do for your friend is listen and let her know that you are concerned about her safety. Another important step is to share resources with her that she can utilize. You may find it helpful to call the California Youth Crisis Line for support and to learn ways you can support her. This is a confidential hotline and can be reached by calling 800.843.5200. If you feel that your friend’s life is in danger, or that she may be hurt, it is important to protect her by telling a responsible adult. Thank you for being there for her and for reaching out for help.
So I met this guy a couple months ago that I really like. And he’s one of the coolest, sweetest guys I have ever met! But last night I was texting him and out of the blue he was really upset and told me that he never wanted to talk to me ever again. He deleted me as a friend on facebook and told me to delete his number from my phone. It was clearly something I did but he wouldn’t tell me. And I never said anything rude to him so I just really don’t get it. He hasn’t talked to me since and I don’t know what to do because I care so much about him and I can’t stand losing him. I would ask my parents for help but they already don’t like him and I don’t want them to hate him even more for this. It’s just really hard because we had something really special and now he really hates me. I don’t know how I can convince him to still talk to me. Relationships are difficult at any age, but especially when we are young and still discovering how to be comfortable as ourselves. Healthy relationships are based on respect, mutual communication, trust and working together towards a common goal. In order for a relationship to thrive both partners have to be willing to put in equal effort. It sound like this situation is difficult to speak with your parents about, but you may find it helpful to speak to another adult you trust (aunt, mentor, teacher, school counselor). You may also contact our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line for support. This is a confidential hotline and can be reached by calling 800.843.5200

Last year, one of my good friends asked me out but I turned him down. We agreed to stay friends and we were still close and everything when school started up again this year. Sometimes though, when it’s just the two of us, he starts acting weird and makes jokes about us getting together, most of them sexual. I always laugh it off, but lately it’s becoming uncomfortable. He keeps getting handsy and I really hate overt physical contact, but he’s normally a great guy and I don’t know how to make him stop
without losing him as a friend (and as the person I DO feel comfortable around, when he’s not always trying something.) I don’t want to hurt him by just telling him to screw off; he’s had some issues with rejection in the past. How do I get him to back off without losing his friendship? He (along with the rest of my close friends) knows I don’t like people touching me, and sometimes I do tell him to cut it out, but he starts it up again not ten minutes later. Is this assault, or am I just awful at conveying the right message? One of my friends once told me I was leading him on by staying friends with him, but I don’t think things like dating and rejection should be allowed to ruin a friendship

It is important to remember that any type of physical touching, especially sexual in nature, has to be consented to by both parties involved. If another person is making you uncomfortable and then continues to do so after you have asked them to stop it is a clear indication that they are not respecting your boundaries. It is absolutely not your fault that this is happening but it is important to set very clear expectations of your friendship and to reevaluate that friendship if the behavior continues. It may be a good idea to arrange for another friend to always be present when you are together and when you speak to him about stopping the behavior. It may be useful for you to speak to a counselor about what is happening and to brainstorm the appropriate next steps. Phone counselors are available on WEAVE’s 24/7 Information and Support Line at 916.920.2952 to listen and to help.
Could I be pregnant when I haven’t missed a period yet and I havetaken a home pregnancy test? I had unprotected sex August and now it’s October. I
have had two periods since then and I’m on birth control but I miss a few days. I took a home pregnancy test when 10 weeks after I had sex.
WEAVE’s primary purpose is to provide services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. WEAVE cannot provide medical advice. Any time you have unprotected sex, there is a risk of pregnancy. While the presence or absence of a period is a primary indicator of whether or not you are pregnant and over the counter pregnancy kits are typically reliable, the only way to confirm you are not pregnant is through a medical appointment. If you believe you may be pregnant, please consult a health care provider. You can call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 to receive referrals to clinics.
Could I be pregnant :’( 1. While having protected sex, the condom broke, we quickly changed it and continued on. 2. I got my period for a full week THE NEXT DAY. 3. My periods never come exactly one month apart. 4. I am 18 and have had my period since I was 13. 5. I am not on birth control. 6. I have NOT had sex since my last period. Wouldn’t my last period have flushed any possible sperm out of my body? I tend to get very stressed over these things and I believe that pushes off my
period even more, but I am really scared this time and do not know who to talk to. Thank you so much.
Anytime we engage in male/female sexual intercourse pregnancy is a possibility. If you used protection, and replaced it after breaking, then it sounds like you took all of the necessary precautions. Stress can have an impact on your menstrual cycle, however if you are concerned about pregnancy it is best to make an appointment with your health care provider. While WEAVE’s services do not include teen pregnancy, our friends at the Californa Youth Crisis Line can support and help you. Their number is 1.800.843.5200
ive done something really stupid. i got into my friends ’skype’ acount and i changed her details. we all do it to each other as a joke, but shes really upset about it and now i’ve lost two of my closest friends because of it. we’re goinng on camp next week but im scared that all my friends are going to reject me, even though some of them say that what i did isnt as bad as my friend is making it out to be. im so scared im going to be alone for the rest of my school life. ive tried apologizing but she’s still mad at me. i understand her point but im scared that things aren’t going to get fixed, as much as i want them to be. Making mistakes and learning how to make up for them are both normal life experiences. A friendship, like any healthy relationship, must be based on trust and respect. Finding balance in a relationship can be difficult at any age but especially so when we are young and still learning. It is important to remember that trust can often be rebuilt over time and that mistakes can be forgiven. It sounds like your friend is upset and hurting right now, and that she will possibly need some space before moving forward. You are both experiencing normal emotional responses but it is important not to be too hard on yourself. Talking with someone about how you are feeling may help. You can talk to a trained advocate on WEAVE’s 24 Hour Support and Information Line anytime by calling 916.920.2952.
Would you ever falsely accuse an adult of something sexual? Has anyone you know ever done it? Each year a very small percentage of rapes reported to law enforcement are false reports, while an overwhelming number of rapes go unreported. It is very uncommon for a child to falsely allege sexual assault against an adult. While we may not always know if a person is being honest, it is still important to believe and support each victim we encounter.
Will I get arrested for showing my neighbor my private part in my home and not touching her? It is important to remember that any type of sexual activity must be consensual. In the state of California persons under the age of 18 cannot consent to any sex act, regardless of whether there is touching involved. Respecting the boundaries of others is necessary in order to have healthy and consensual relationships.
i made a fake facebook account and started talking to this guy the same age as me. now we are “dating”. should i tell him who i really am? or keep going on with the lie? In order for a healthy relationship to be successful both partners must be honest and respectful of eachothers needs. It sounds like you are unsure if you want a real relationship with this person. If you are having second thoughts it is important to re-evaluate the basis of the relationship before moving forward.
Do you have group meetings for support? WEAVE offers a variety of individual and groups counseling. Please contact WEAVE’s 24-Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn if the programs we offer are right for you.
Okay so my boyfriend and I had sex tonight. We didn’t want the
condom or the condom wrapper to be seen from my parents when we went upstairs
and as stupid as I am I thought I could hide it in my vaginal area. I only put it there for about two to three seconds. I did NOT put it inside of me. I just put it there, not in me, any chance I’m pregnant?
Anytime sperm is in or near the vaginal area, it is possible for pregnancy to occur. While the liklihood of pregnancy is reduced in situations like what you described, it can happen. If you would like more resources about birth control and organizations that can provide you with free and reduced cost birth control, you can call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support & Information Line for referrals – 916.920.2952.
I cheated on my boyfriend. Now after a month of being apart he wants me back. I feel guilty and we were together 3 years so I feel like he’s the one but if he was why did I do what I did? We’re seeing each other on and off, but I don’t know if he’ll ever get over what I’ve done. Now
everything feel exactly the same as it did, but it’s completely different. I just don’t know how to do this. Is it possible to fall out of love with
someone? I don’t want to break his heart again, what do I do?
Relationships are work. Healthy relationships have trust, open communication, support, empathy, and commitment, just to name a few necessities for success. It sounds like because you were not faithful to him, that caused the trust you had built to go away. Relationships are always changing and evolving over time. By rebuilding the trust over time, and reconnecting emotionally again you two may both discover this is the relationship for you, or maybe not. To increase the communication between the two of you, you may both consider seeing a couples counselor (assuming there is no domestic violence in the relationship) to guide you through the process of rebuilding your relationship. WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line can give you referrals at 916.920.2952.
So there’s This guy and it’s been about a year since I met him. Hes the type of guy I’m into, and I really thought he liked me too, but he ended up getting with some Other girl after we had been talking for a few weeks. We kissed literally the day before. Well recently We’ve been talking agaIn and he continually brings up that kiss. I’m getting those signs that he likes me again, and I just found out he and his girlfriend just broke up. He hasn’t talked to me for a few days though. Is it silly and selfish that I think him rude for not immediately askin me out? Maybe I did something wrong? I mean she wasn’t there when he brOke his jaw a few weeks ago! I was =( he can’t miss her…can he? Relationships can be difficult at any age and can face a number of obstacles. Healthy relationships consist of two people working together and involve ongoing effort and compromise by both in order to thrive. If someone is flirting with you, but not prioritizing being in a relationship it is important to recognize those red flags. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship and includes both talking and listening. Having a conversation about what each of you want, in terms of a possible relationship, may be a good idea.
I don’t know if this is where I can go to post this but idk where else. I’m having trouble going to the bathroom (edited for length and content) I’m reading about people who have the same Problem but all this other stuff I don’t have. I’m so scared from the things ive read like getting endimitriosis, being pregnant and an STD! Idk what to do or how to tell my parents. I don’t want to be dishonest with them but I can’t get to the doctors without them! Help =( WEAVE is not a medical provider and cannot provide medical advice. What you are describing sound like serious medical issues which require a doctor’s care. We know you don’t want to disappoint your parents but it’s important that you see a doctor immediatly. Please tell your parents or another trusted adult who can help you access medical care.

Now, I’m not entirely sure if this is the right site, but I’m simply looking for somewheree to ask an anonymous question. I’m a 16 year old teen and I live in the USA. My girlfriend recently moved to Germany. Her dad is in the military. Now, I’m not asking for your comments about how I’m too young to think I love her. I do love her. I want to visit her for Christmas and as my mom and dad are divorced, I’m forced to ask both. I live with my mom and step dad. We’re middle class and I’m working so we can afford the ticket. Is my dad legally able to tell me I’m not allowed to go even if my mother says yes?

Being in a relationship and having your girlfriend move away is difficult regardless of how old you are and age does not change the emotions you are feeling and your desire to see your girlfriend. Whether or not your dad must consent to the trip is determined by the custody agreement that was put in place as part of their divorce. You will need to find out from your mom what the custody agreement requires.

Is this site for teens only?

WEAVE maintains message boards on several topics including domestic violence, sexual assault, LGBT relationships, and our teen board. The teen board is meant to be a place for teens to ask questions about relationships but we do answer other questions as long as we feel it is appropriate and within our abilities. We never know who sends in a question and we try to post the answers within two business days. The questions are asked by teens and answered by WEAVE’s staff including our teen educators.

Can you ask questions about anything? WEAVE is very open about the questions it will respond to on the Teen Message Board. While our teen services primarily focuses on teen dating violence, healthy relationships, etc., we know a lot of other areas affect teens. We cannot answer medical questions or questions that are beyond the ability/scope of our counseling staff. If we can’t answer a question, we let you know here and provide other resources.

I know it sounds really dumb and awkward, but I’m seventeen and there’s a girl who’s a close friend who I went out with a couple years ago, and I’m having some issues with it. She recently entered my life and I usually always feel like a crush is just infatuation, but I feel entirely different with her. I’m unbelievably comfortable and happy with her, and we’re really really really close friends now. But my problem is, I’ve always had a problem with a masturbation. I know it’s normal, but whenever I do it I feel like karma or something, or God (I’m a pretty firm Christian) will take my chances with her away. I just feel like an awful human if I masturbated recently. So, I actually managed to stop doing it for weeks, which is something I’ve never been able to do until now because I like her so much. However, just tonight, I did it again, and although I haven’t even talked to her yet and it sounds way too superstitious, I feel like I’ve lost her and just can’t stop crying. I don’t know what to think of it, am I overthinking it or is this just a mental side effect of masturbation? I’ve never really felt this depressed over it. Any words will be greatly appreciated, I’ve never even spoken of this before now, so even just writing it out helps.

Relationships can be hard at any age and when you are a teenager you are still learning so much about relationships, friendships, and so much more. All of these are influenced by our spiritual beliefs, friends, family, and circumstances. What’s good is that the relationship does not sound abusive – WEAVE’s area of expertise. You are experiencing a variety of very natural emotions and responses to this relationship. Talking with someone will help. The CA Youth Line is a great resource available 24/7 where you can talk with other teens about what you are feeling. Give them a call at 1.800.843.5200.

I’m desperate for a reason to live. I have no family. Lived alone since young teenage years and I have nothing. No friends. I eke up each morning just to go back to sleep. I want to die but i’m scared. I would happily be ill but it just isn’t happening. I’m so confused.
 

Please know you are not alone. It sounds like you feel very isolated and depressed. Talking with someone who can support you is important. Our friends at the CA Youth Crisis Line are available 24/7. We strongly encourage you to call them at 1.800.843.5200.
Am i a non purging bulimic? My symptoms are, i’ll binge eat then i won’t eat for days. Then i will eventuallly break down and do it again.I have irregular periods. Also i think i am obsessed with food also in a way i think about food more then i think a normal person would. Also when i am hungry its like i want to eat but something stops me. Also when i eat its like i can’t stop i feel full but i just cant stop and just keep on eating i feel out of
control when i eat
WEAVE is not an eating disorder specialist, and we never make medical diagnoses. You are clearly concerned about the possibility you may have an eating disorder – you are not alone. Each year, thousands of teens develop eating disorders, or problems with weight, eating, or body image. If you like to speak to a eating disorder specialist in Sacramento County there are many agencies to choose from. To be connected to the resources available please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952.

Im thirteen and my girlfriend wants me to wear panties? should i? we’ve been out for four months and theres been no actual sexual contact apart from kissing..

In a healthy dating relationship no one should ever feel pressured to do anything that they do not feel comfortable with.

I’m 17 years old and a senior in highschool. I’m from a small town of about 600 people and about 7 of them are black… 3
of them being me, my brother, and my sister hahaha! I didn’t have the most ideal childhood being that I grew up in an orphanage for the first 4 years of my life. My adoptive parents and I have a very volatile relationship and we often go months without talking. Even though we live in the same household, we are strangers. I’ve done lots of things over the years to disappoint my parents (lying, drinking…) but, perhaps, the most disappointing is that I’m not the size 00 that I used to be now that I’m growing up. I feel like, in a way, I’m letting them down. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch. For dinner, I
allow myself no more than 700 calories and it’s almost ALWAYS the same meal.
I think I have a problem but I don’t know if I’m quite ready to let this go. As much as I’m scared of being fat, I’m more afraid of my future. What am I becoming? Please help me…what do I do?
Reaching out for help can be scary, but talking with adults about your feelings may help you develop into the person you want to be. Depending on your goals, you might consider talking to your school’s counselor about your feelings, and gaining additional support. Also, speaking to your doctor who can give you insight and guidance to your health is a great idea. WEAVE’s Support and Information Line too can give you additional resources and support at 916.920.2952.

I think my 16 year old daughter is a victim of some kind of abuse. I do know that he will hit him, and he is 15 and I don’t think he mentally has the tools he would need for something like this because His mom and dad are passive/aggressive abusers as well. I thought my daughter was a stonger person that this. I would like he to be able to talk to someone who has been there, done that — All I am is mom talk .

Parenting today is challenging because there are so many ways our children can be hurt, and we want them to be safe in the world as they grow up. Being an observant parent involved with your daughter’s life, you have noticed clues that cause you concern. The next step is to have a conversation expressing your concerns to your daughter about what you have seen. By focusing on your concerns about your daughter’s safety, expressing what the components to a healthy relationship are, and what behavior is abusive, you are giving your daughter clear guidelines. Letting her know that you are a safe person to talk to, and no matter what you will not be judgmental, you will also increase the likelihood that she will be honest with you in return. Learning a few communication tips to use with your daughter from either her school’s counselors, or WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952, will simply add to the natural compassionate skills you already have. Being a mom is never ending job, but providing a loving influence during the most challenging times for you daughter can also be incredibly rewarding.

What do you do if your pregnant and scared to tell people around you when your still just a teen?

It is understandable that you are scared. Finding a trusted adult who can support you is important so that you can seek appropriate care. While WEAVE’s services do not include teen pregnancy, our friends at the Californa Youth Crisis Line can support and help you. Their number is 1.800.843.5200
A girl I know recently told me that she was smoking weed. She was high and acting really strange so I kept questioning her. Truth is, I’ve actually been suspecting her doing this kind of thing for awhile. She said she’d been smoking it for half an year already. Me and my other friends tried really hard to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen to us. She kept saying “I want to do it, it makes me happy” and other crap like that, and I knew it wasn’t true. So the other day, we went and told her mom, and she got in trouble. She’s really mad at us now, and I just hope she won’t hold a grudge forever, even if the thing we did was right and to help her. What should my friends and I do? It sounds like you acted to protect a friend which is good. You may also find that getting support from a teen resource will help you understand how to help your friend. Our friends at the California Youth Crisis Line have a 24 hour phone line you can call with other questions at 1-800-843-5200.

Yesterday I had sexual intercourse with my boyfriend . . . (edited for length and content) If we stop intercourse for some time will this stop?

The WEAVE message boards are for answering questions about dating violence, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Your question is medical and our staff cannot provide medical advice. It sounds like a visit to your doctor is important to answer your question.
How can you tell if red flags your family has are red flags for you personally? (about relationships) It sounds like your family may have expressed concerns about your relationship or relationships in general. Red flags are actions or behaviors which can cause concerns. In unhealthy and/or abusive relationships, red flags do not only include physical acts such as grabbing, hitting, or preventing someone from leaving a car/room/area. They can also include a partner who is controlling, puts the other person down, threatens the other person, demands to know where the other person is all the time, or tries to prevents the other person from being with friends. These are all concerning behaviors and could indicate an unhealthy relationship that can become more abusive over time. If you are experiencing any of these behaviors, they should be a concern – healthy relationships are built on trust and respect and don’t include abusive language or actions. You can talk to a trained advocate on WEAVE’s 24 hour Support & Information Line for more information.
What can I tell my friend? She likes this boy but he likes another girl and when I asked him if he liked her he said no. A good friend will be honest and supportive of the friend. Rejection can be hard and you can encourage your friend to talk with you if she feels bad. The hurt she feels will get better with time – for now it’s best if you just support her.
I used to live in Sacramento. I moved to southern california and I am in a very horrible abusive relationship. I am 2 months pregnant as well. I need help. Can I get help from you or do I need to take care of it down here. I also have family in sacramento, but I don’t want to put them in danger. It is good you reached out as your situation sounds very serious. If you are in danger, call 9-1-1. WEAVE provides services in Sacramento County. There are organizations like WEAVE throughout California and there will be one near you that can provide you with local resources. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to locate services near you – 800.621.HOPE (4673). You can also begin to create a safety plan for you and your baby – keep important documents like driver’s license/ID, birth certificate, etc. accessible so that you can take them if you must leave in a hurry. Also make a list of important phone number, accounts, etc. that you can access from anywhere (i.e. email them to yourself at an private email address).

I woke up yesterday and all of a sudden, I was overwhelmed by sadness for nothing in particular (i’m 15). I was just so sad about nothing and everything and started crying. And cried all day. Also, I liked this guy from my school a lot. A whole lot; but I hadn’t even spoken to him and he probably didn’t even know who I was and he just finished school; so I will probably never see him ever again but I still think about him a lot as much as I try not to. I don’t know if this is relevant but I thought that I’d say it just in case. Does anyone know what could have caused all the crying?

It is very difficult to know why we cry since there can be so many different reasons. Being a teenager with hormonal changes can also be a factor. Also, having feelings for someone one and not having those feelings returned can also cause strong emotions. Those feelings of rejection or loss could be contributing to your sadness. There very likely other reasons in addition that could be causing the sad feelings that you might not have also considered depending on what is going on in your life. I would encourage you to continue to express your feelings, and continue to explore what might be causing them. If the feeling of sadness last for a long time, it could be one indicator of depression and that should be addressed seeking professional help. Please continue to express your feelings, and by talking with adults that can support you as you sort out the various emotions you are experiencing, you could find it to be very helpful. WEAVE’s Support Line (916.920.2952) is one option that is available for you to talk to an adult 24-hours a day about your feelings in a supportive, and non-judgmental way.

On the 2nd day of my period [explicit content]. I was wondering, since I searched the web and nothing answered my question, could I possibly be pregnant? Your concern is understandable. There is no way of knowing if you are actually pregnant in only two days. If you are unsure, it might be a good idea to schedule an appointment with your primary care provider as a precaution. You can also call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and resources.
hi, i am an 18 year old college student and i was assaulted by my dad all my life, both mentally and physically and this past saturday, i was assaulted by him, i was kicked and hit by a long piece of wood and wanted me to engage in a fight with him,( he always looks for trouble)he did this in front of family members, and i left home, not angry but discouraged because promises have been broken all my life yet it always happens, my mother was also abused by him for years until we left and lived for a shelter with my other 3 younger brothers,( i am the oldest) and fortunately he stopped abusing my mom and he has been good to my other brothers, but it feels as if it hasn’t changed for me, i have been living this hell and i try to stay strong but little by little i am braking down, i don’t cry very often but every time that my father reacts that way, it breaks my heart that he would say and do things that a regular parent would not do. my mother knows about this incident, yet it does not seem like she really wants to deal with it, and i get it. my father has great qualities he works very, very hard, and i have never gone to bed hungry, that i cant deny, and i don’t want to call the police on him, because like i said, he is good to my mother and my other brothers, so i do not want to interfere with that, but i can’t no longer keep this up, i have no where to go, i feel scared and i need help. Any type of threatening and abusive behavior is unacceptable, even if it comes from a family member. You should not have to live in fear. Please remember that you are not alone and you have options. WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE offers a variety of services, many of which are either free or on a sliding scale. You can call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn more about services offered, resources and referrals, and receive emotional support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am – 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm – 7 pm.
my dad abused me and took the gifts he gave me back and wont give me some of the stuff i bought back and the cops said they couldnt really do anything is there anything i can do to get my stuff? Thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately, if you have already spoken with the police and they said there’s nothing they can do, it’s unlikely we can help you get your gifts back. Still, it is unacceptable for your dad to abuse you. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn about options, services, and to receive support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am – 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm – 7 pm.
How likely is it to get pregnant from pre-ejaculate with no penetration? Is there a chance I could be pregnant? It’s would be nearly impossible if there was no penetration. If you are unsure, it might be a good idea to schedule an appointment with your primary care proivder as a precaution. You can also call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and resources.
I am only 14 years old, and I’m scared. How do I break the porn addiction without my parents finding out? There are resources available to you. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and resources.
Hi, I just want to know if I’m overreacting or if this is considered “wrong” and if I brought this on myself. Yesterday, I was in a park with a guy friend and one of his friends… [Explicit content.] I feel violated and hurt and I don’t know if it was my fault because I don’t know what’s “right” or “wrong” anymore. Am I overreacting? You have every right to feel violated. Any type of non-consensual and uninvited behavior is unacceptable. You are not overreacting. Their behavior was completely deplorable and unacceptable and in no way is that your fault. Please call WEAVE’s Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for additional support and information about WEAVE services.
I was raped when i was 14 years old i will be 16 next month. My parents know and we have contacted the police. I waited to long to tell my parents because i was scared to talk about it and i didnt want them to know i was drinking. When my parents had found out it was to late for me..the guy had gotten away with it. a coupel months later i was jumped by a group of guys for “Snitching’ i have never seen these guys before is there anything i can do…. I really want to talk to other people about what i went through and what has made me stronger and also to listen to other peoples storys.. please help thankyou It can be an empowering decision to decide to tell someone safe about a sexual assault. Telling someone about the sexual assault may assist you in your healing process. It’s never too late to begin the healing process. WEAVE offers a 24-hour Support and Information Line, as well as support groups. To learn more, please call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952.
I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a child, and just recently I’ve been feeling the backlash of that abuse, I’m now 16. My entire personality is beginning to shift as I’m realizing I’m more prone to anger, annoyance, and I just don’t feel like myself. My eating habits have changed so much so that my friends and family have been on my case about eating more. I don’t know what to do because I don’t feel like I can trust anyone with the truth of what happened to me. I’ve been putting up a wall between myself and friends and family and I know that’s probably the worst thing I can do but for some reason I can’t stop it. I’m tired of feeling like I’m worthless and useless and don’t deserve to be happy. I want my life back but I don’t know how to put my past behind me. It sounds like you may be experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. This is very common with survivors of abuse. It can be very empowering to choose to tell someone safe about what happened. It can also help in your healing process. WEAVE provides counseling and support services for survivors of violence and sexual assault. Please call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to access counseling services, learn about options and receive support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am – 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm – 7 pm.
I am 15 weeks pregnant and been with my current bf for 6 months. He posseses 11 out of the 17 warning signs of abuse. I have been in a serious abusive relationship before and I am seeing a lot of red flags in this new one however he has not hit me or choked me like in my last relationship so im not sure how alarmed i should be. HOWEVER, I have my first child on the way to think about and I do not want to take any chances. So i guess my question is, how many out of the 17 warning signs would you guys consider there to be just concern for? It sounds like you are aware of the warning signs and potential danger of your situation. It could be helpful to talk with a trained advocate to assess your choices and develop a safety plan for you and your baby. WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information line is 916.920.2952. You can also come in for a free triage assessment at WEAVE Midtown – 1900 K Street, Sacramento on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 10 AM and 1 PM and Wednesdays between 4 PM – 7 PM
I am a 17 year old mother. I have a 4 month old baby girl, and my boyfriend is 19. He’s the father of my child. Before we have gotten together he was never ever abusive. But as months passed, he became abusive. I think it was because i had moved in with him 3 years ago. And thats when everything started. His aggressiveness never stopped until i became pregnant. When i was pregnant, everything was fine. He would never lay a hand on me. But now that i had gave birth to my child, everytime we argue, he always ends up threatning me that he’ll punch me in the face. And yes he did before and he broke my left cheek bone. What should i do? Love should never hurt. There a several types of domestic violence, and threatening violence is a form of abuse. WEAVE offers triage services where you can meet with a WEAVE advocate and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and provide you with referrals for appropriate services. Triage is available on a first come first serve basis Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 AM – 1 PM and Wednesdays from 4 PM – 7 PM. For more information and support call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1.
Girlfriend bites,chokes,punchs,slaps&is hecka rude to her boyfirend.He says he wont defend him self against a girl.What do I do? It is not okay for someone to bite, choke, or hurt another individual. Your friend needs your support. Inform him about WEAVE services. Depending on his situation and his decisions your friend can receive individual counseling and/or file a restraining order on his girlfriend. You and he may call WEAVE’s 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. A WEAVE advocate can provide you and your friend with emotional support and options.
i have been with my bf for the last two and a half years.hes very abusive and has went to jail..im now pregnant how do i leave? There are many options for you. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. To discuss your options and discuss a safety plan you may call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 or come in for triage and meet with a WEAVE advocate between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM.
I was raped 6 mo. ago but didn’t report b/c of bad law enforcement experience. Is that selfish? What if he does it to others? It is not selfish to not report to law enforcement. Many survivors are too scared to report the incident because they have a relationship with the perpetrator. Sexual assault is the number one under reported violent crime. If you feel like he may hurt others you may want to contact law enforcement and make a report about your incident. WEAVE offers sexual assault counseling to survivors of sexual assault. You may speak with a counselor about your feelings. Also, if you decide to file a report, WEAVE could arrange for an advocate to go with you for support.
I was raped & went to therapy for yrs. I still really like to watch/read rape scenes in movies/books. Is that normal? Am I sick? There are many reactions to traumatic events of a sexual nature. It is not uncommon to find some attraction in reading about or seeing the same type of experience that happened to you. If this is disturbing to you, you may want to discuss it with a therapist who has specialized training in sexual trauma. You can call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to find out how to access services at WEAVE
Is it normal after being raped to do what he says? He never had a gun or knife. Yes. It does not matter if your perpetrator has a gun,knife,etc. Your body should never be violated. Sexual Assault is not only rape; it is also any unwanted sexual activity. Even if you have said “yes” to sex with the person before, or you are in a relationship, no one has the right to have sex with you or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. Any time you do not say “yes” to a sexual act, it is sexual assault. If you have been sexually assaulted it is very important that you seek medical attention as soon as possible for several reasons. These reasons include treating any injuries,check for possible pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases and/or collecting evidence for a criminal case. If you are with someone who has sexually assaulted you they do not respect your body. You deserve respect and to be in a healthy relationship. WEAVE offers counseling for victims of sexual assault. Call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and information.
My friend says lots of different guys rape her.Its freaking me out.Is she causing it by seeing them? Sexual assault is not only rape; it is also any unwanted sexual activity. Even if you have said “yes” to sex with the person before, or you are in a relationship, no one has the right to have sex with you or pressure you into doing things you do not want to do. Any time you do not say “yes” to a sex act, it is sexual assault. Your body should not be violated. If your friend feels violated, threatened and/or questions if she was sexually assaulted refer her to WEAVE’s website or to the 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952.
How can I help 16 year old friend who was abused at 4? She’s not interested in counseling but is confused & upset about memories You can support your friend through saying you care for her. Stick by her as a friend. Make sure she knows that you support her decision and listen to her feelings. Do not tell her what she should do. When she is ready she will ask for help. Inform her that WEAVE has a 24-hour crisis line that can offer her emotional support. The number is 916.920.2952.
How can I help my 14 yr. old daughter? She just told me she was raped while drunk at a party. She refuses to talk about it. Your daughter is going through an extremely difficult time. It was a great step that your daughter disclosed that she was raped. It’s important to support her and validate her feelings. Do not push for details that she is not ready to give. Give her options for filing a report, coming to WEAVE for counseling, give the crisis line number, but ultimately it is her decision to seek help. Let her know that you support any decision she makes and make sure she does not feel blamed for the assault. WEAVE can offer counseling services to both of you and the 24 Crisis Line is available as well. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. You are not alone and either is your daughter.
where do i go if i leave and i have no phone and i have my daughter with me. will i get help right away! pls help me!!!!!! WEAVE’s toll free phone number is 866.920.2952. You may dial that phone number at any pay phone and access WEAVE’s 24-hour Crisis Line. A crisis line counselor will help develop a safety plan for you and provide support and information for resources to help you and your daughter.
Im 16 and really like this 18 year old guy. I live in Virginia. Would he get in any kind of trouble if we dated? The age of consent varies from state to state. Please contact your local law enforcement agency or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233(SAFE) for the answer.
im 17 i have a baby would i be able to go to a safehouse? im asking cuz of my age.. Unless you are an emancipated minor, you cannot access the Safehouse service. Please contact the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and referrals that can help you.
im 17 and im in a verbally abusive relationship she puts her hands on me and i dont know what to do she a she and i cant donutin Verbal abusive is considered as domestic violence and nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. WEAVE offers teen domestic violence counseling. I recommend you call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and more information about our services.
i dont kno how to leave my boyfriend..the worst part is that hes living with me and he threated of taking our baby from me Leaving an abusive boyfriend can be a difficult process, but WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE operates a Safehouse for survivors in imminent danger. In addition to the Safehouse, WEAVE’s Legal Department that can assist you with filing for custody. Please contact WEAVE’s Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for more information and to access these services.
My wife and I are very concerned about our daughter who we believe is in a very abusive (verbaly and mentaly) what can we do? Though you can not control the choices your daughter makes, you can gain information to be supportive and also learn to set healthy boundaries with your daughter. It will be up to her to either continue to be in an abusive relationship, or choose a healthy relationship.We currently offer a weekly group called “Supporting Survivors Group” that you and your wife might benefit from attending. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for additional support and information.
Is it a sexual assult when a 16yo has oral/anel sex with 18yo? The 16yo is now being humiliated by him, can she get help? It is sexual assault when a 16 year old has oral and anal sex with a 18 year old. In California, nobody under the age of 18 can consent to sex. WEAVE offers sexual assault counseling to survivors of 13+ years. If the perpetrator is harassing the 16 year old, WEAVE can help with filing for a Temporary Restraining Order. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information on how to receive our services and to explore other options.
Im 16 I have been sexually assulted numerous times by friends and cousins? Why does it always happen, and how can I avoid it? We are so sorry to hear you have been a victim of numerous acts of sexual assault. Nothing you did caused the assaults to happen. The only reason why you were assaulted was because your friends and cousins are perpetrators. Therefore, they are the only ones who could stop it. You do have several options of what you could do now. You can contact law enforcement and make reports of the incidents since what they did to you is a crime. And, you could get into counseling to help you process everything. You might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation and receive support and guidance.
My uncle is a drug user and he is stressing me out what should I do We can help you by offering you referrals for both your uncle and yourself. To talk about your situation in more detail while receiving support and getting appropriate referrals, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You may also want to try calling the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200.
if his friends are pressuring him to go farther (sexually), does that count as abuse to HIM? Based on limited information from the question, it sounds like his “friends” are pressuring him to do something that he is not comfortable in doing. Peer-pressure can be both painful and dangerous to the recipient. Depending on the situation, the peer-pressure could rise to a level that would be considered abuse. Even if the friends are not being abusive, at a minimum, exploring the value of “friends” that do not respect personal boundaries is a good conversation to have with a counselor at WEAVE’s 24-Hour Crisis Line.
Is there any way to speed up the process of getting an abusive, stalking ex-boyfriend arrested? Local law enforcement often does a great job helping survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Allowing the process to work takes both time and patience. If you feel law enforcement is not responding appropriately to the circumstances, one option that you have is to talk to those higher in the chain of command. If you are able to express specific concerns with details, the information could both help you with your situation, and other survivors that may experience a similar situation in the future. It is important to remain safe while waiting for your ex-boyfriend to be arrested. To talk to a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line to explore other options call 916.920.2952.
I get mad easily so does he. He talks about other girls, makes me cry and I start hitting him first but then he strangles me. Relationships that contain multiple forms of abuse can feel confusing. Many abusers blame the victim for their behavior and call them abusive. You can look at who is initiating the abuse and if it is to gain power and control over the other person. Reactive anger is often associated with being abused. You may be assisted in understanding the dynamics of your relationship better by talking to a Crisis Line counselor at 916.920.2952.
Sometimes when my boyfriend gets angry he slaps me(not to hurt), and pulls my hair, is this abuse? WEAVE identifies five types of domestic violence. All types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. The types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. One type is physical abuse, it is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. Even if a slap or pulling of hair doesn’t hurt, it is not the level of pain inflicted that defines if the action is abuse. It is the reason and intent of the person doing the action, and damage done to the recipient of the action, that helps to define if the action is abuse. By talking with a counselor on our 24-Hour Crisis Line you would be able to explore in more detail both the dynamics of your relationship and about WEAVE’s services. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952.
How common is dating violence for teens? A study of high school students found that 1 in 5 had experienced physical or sexual dating violence.
Why do people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners? It is a myth that people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners. In Reality, people yell and hit because they are using violence to try and control another person and are unable to control their own behavior.