No matter the gender of either party in a relationship, many
dynamics of abuse are the same. An abusive relationship is fueled
by the desire of the abuser to have power and control over their
partner. The abuser uses different types of abuse, including:
physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and spiritual.
Here are some concerns that are particular to the lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgendered, and questioning (LGBTQ) community:
- Abuser may threaten to out the survivor's sexual orientation,
gender identity, or HIV status as a control tactic.
- Survivor may try to protect their community by hiding abuse,
for fear that it will be used to condemn all non-hetero
relationships as abnormal or unhealthy.
- For someone who is closeted, accessing services or calling
police means they must make the difficult decision to out
themselves.
- Survivors risk that they will be confronted with prejudice at
a time when they are very vulnerable and need understanding.
- LGBTQ violence is surrounded by myths (i.e. same-sex
battering is mutual, women are never violent, or victims like the
abuse).
- It may be hard to remain anonymous in the LGBTQ community and
survivors may worry about how people would react, and if friends
would choose sides.
- When straight individuals are in abusive relationships no one
claims that all straight relationships are dysfunctional and
unhealthy, but those in the LGBTQ community know all too well
that any problems within same-sex relationships can be used as a
condemnation of all same-sex relationships.
- An abuser may tell their partner that no one else would love
them or treat them any better. A survivor who has internalized
homophobic or transphobic beliefs may think this is true.
If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the above in
their relationship call the 24-Hour
Support and Information Line.
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