Read the messages posted below or Ask an Anonymous Question on our safe forum and we'll respond to your question here in two business days.
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Hi. I have been married for almost 24 years. During the first 18 years I had things thrown at me, I was kicked, punched, shoved and pinched - however - I never had any broken bones/injuries nor did I ever end up in a hospital. One time I was given a "veiled threat" about my life and then my husband proceeded to get out a gun and load it. I have also heard repeatedly that I am a terrible wife and mother. I have been cussed out many times. I have been called every ugly name possible. After 18 years I pursued a divorce but stopped. My husband was remorseful and wanted to reconcile so I did. That was 6 years ago. The first 9 months were different but slowly over time, things seem to be returning to the way it was. He has continued to speak harshly and hurtfully to me on a regular basis. There have been 2 physical incidences - one being last month - a twisting pinch which left a bruise. My question is Does what has happened and is happening now, sound like abuse to you? I need an objective opinion. I have been in it so long that it's all very normal to me - and actually better than it used to be - but my friends have said that it's not normal - but maybe I have somehow misrepresented my situation or they just know me personally and care too much. I am weary, but when he is not angry he can be nice. So I am wrestling because right now he is being nice. I am desperate for objective advice. Thank you.
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Thank you for taking the time to write to us and share your story. It sounds like it has been a difficult experience and what you describe does sound like domestic violence. There does not need to be broken bones to define a relationship as abusive. The various things you describe such as the name calling, throwing things, emotional abuse, pinching, all fall within abusive behavior. It can be confusing to have periods of kindness mixed in with the abusive. This behavior is also normal and is something we describe as the honeymoon (false honeymoon period) in the cycle of violence. The cycle of violence is described as having three stages. The first stage is the tension building stage and can often be described as walking on eggshells and doing everything possible to not cause a fight or disturbance. The second stage is the explosion stage. This is when the fighting can occur and can manifest itself in different ways including name calling, physical violence, throwing things, etc. The final stage is the honeymoon stage (or what we call the false honeymoon stage) where there might be apologies and periods of kindness. It sounds like you have some friends who are worried about you and who can see that his behavior is not normal. Please know that you can call us on our 24 hour Support and Information Line for more information and support. Our Support Line number is (916)920-2952. Thank you again for taking the time to let us know how you are doing. |
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As a victim of domestic violence, do I have any
rights to make my husband move out of the home? My 88 year old mother lives with us, I'm her primary care giver . . and just packing up and leaving with her is virtually impossible; I've asked him to leave even temporarily and he won't as he's convinced I'll have an affair the minute he walks away-can you provide me with any advise? Thank you |
Calling our 24 hour Support and Information Line at (916) will provide you with support regarding your abusive relationship. You will also be able to get information about how to go about setting up a safety plan so you and your mother can be safe in the midst of the abuse. Contact your local law enforcement regarding legal options you may consider to provide a safe environment for you and your mother. |
| How can I help my daughter? She has a newborn baby and the father has been violent with her. CPS is involved. She is living with me how do I make sure he stays away from our house while I am not home? Is it ever helpful to talk with him to encourage him to get help? Can I get restraining order? Is there help for family members so we can set healthy boundaries and still treat others with respect? | It can be difficult to ensure that he is not around when you are away from the house. Your family can file for a restraining order and you are welcome to call our 24 hour Support and Information Line for information on filing a restraining order and getting a safety plan. It may be difficult to set boundaries with him if he is violent. Calling our Support Line can help not only with the safety plan but also ways to address healthy boundaries and share what it is like to be parent of someone going through domestic violence. |
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I lost my Mum Xmas Day 2009 and since then I like
to have a drink, basically I cant come to terms of losing my MUm...past 4 yrs my husband has beaten me down, phsyically and emotionally..the past 2 wks ago he beat me down that bad that he kicked me and made a 3 inch tear on my kidney...........I have pictures and dr's notes,can I move on and press charges ? |
I am sorry to hear about your loss. This is a good opportunity to reach out for support so you will have an avenue to process your grief and loss of someone that appears to have been a very important person in your life. Calling our 24 hour Support and Information Line at (916) 920-2952 can provide a contact where you can share both your loss and aspects of your abusive relationship that obviously are impacting your life. The Support and Information Line can also help you to make a safety plan so you can be proactive in creating a safe environment for yourself as well as developing a strategy for healthy coping skills. You may want to contact your local law enforcement agency where the crime occurred to get accurate information as to your options about pressing charges. Remember to engage in self-care activities as you move through your healing process. |
| How do i stop loving him and believing that he will change? How can i move on without having to look over my shoulder? Why does it seem like everything’s my fault i chose him i laid with him i had a child with him i chose to move out of my mother’s home a stable safe environment within a month of me knowing him. i have a son from a previous relationship and a child with him i want him to be a part of his life but any time he contacts me to see his son he makes it about us and our relationship why do i have to be with him in order for him to want to see his son I’m so confused i just wish me and my children could find a place to move so he would never be able to find us again | Thank you for taking the time to write and let us know what is going on for you. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and experiencing a lot of confusion regarding your relationship. You ask some very good questions that would take more time and care to further explain than we are able to in an online post. I would encourage you to call our 24-hour Support Line to speak with a counselor that can explore the cycle of domestic violence and the many reasons people stay in abusive and unhealthy relationships. There are shelters and safehouses that may be of assistance to you in and outside of Sacramento County if you are feeling that you are not safe and needing an alternative place to stay. You can call our Support Line at (916)920-2952 to get numbers for shelters that may be of assistance to you and your individual situation. It is common to be feeling conflicted emotion regarding an unhealthy relationship. |
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I was in a 17 year abusive marriage. Where I was not allowed to speak to anyone and my kids thought I was crazy. I got away. I have been away for ten years he was in prison for 5 years during those years my three teenage children developed a relationship, we got along now they are young adults and have kids, my grandchildren. Their dad got out and well he turned them against me. It is bad, I was cursed called so many names that it was like being in that marriage. I am not allowed to have anything to do with my grandkids. I had a tight relationship with all of them (9) total. I am devastated, in shock, hurt and everything else. I feel beaten and I miss the kids. I lived with them for almost two years and I raised the youngest baby, she slept with me and she called me mom. I was like chased out. I was taking care of the kids one day and I brought some things to my daughter’s attention concerning her kids safety and welfare. I don't want to hurt anyone I just want to be able to see the babies. I want to file for visitation rights. What do you think? I don't know what to do my daughter is not taking care of her kids. She is dirty and abusive. She is in the process of divorce. I am concerned about two of her young kids. They don't play like other kids. The boy is molesting his sister or vice versa. I suspect that someone is or was molesting them both. My daughter did not do anything about it but throw me out. I am afraid that if I report it to an agency that she will lose the kids to the system. |
It sounds like you are having a really difficult time right now being separated from your grandchildren. It is understandable that you are feeling devastated and hurt. It is also sounding like you are concerned about your grandchildren’s safety and calling children’s services might put your mind at ease. It is difficult to know what actions CPS might take regarding the abuse allegations but their job is to look out for the best interests of the children. In regards to filing for visitation it would be best to consult legal counsel. The Sacramento Court House has a self-help center and their information is: William R. Ridgeway Family Relations Courthouse 3341 Power Inn Road Sacramento, CA 95826 Business Hours: 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., Monday through Friday (excluding court holidays) 916-875-3400. If you would like to speak with someone over the phone for emotional support and additional referrals you may call our 24 hour Support and Information line at (916) 920-2952 |
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can my husband be arrested for hitting me in
january 2013 I have pictures of the bruises he
left on me |
Spousal abuse is against the law. You can report abuse at any time with your local law enforcement agency. I don’t know if he would be arrested that would be a good question for the reporting law enforcement officer. |
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I was in a 17 year abusive marriage. Where I was
not allowed to speak to anyone and my kids thought I was crazy. I got away. I have been away for ten years he was in prison for 5 years During those years my three teenage children developed a relationship, we got along now they are young adults and have kids. My grandchildren. Their dad got out and well he turned them against me. It is bad, I was cursed called so many names that It was like being in that marriage. I am not allowed to have anything to do with my grand kids. I had a tight relationship with all of them (9) total. I am devastated, in shock hurt and everything else. I feel beaten and I miss the kids. I lived with them for almost two years and I raised the youngest baby, she slept with me and she called me mymom. I was like chased out. I was taking care of the kids one day and I brought some things to my daughters attention concerning her kids safety and welfare. I don't want to hurt anyone I just want to be able to see the babies. I want to file for visitation rights. What do you think?I don't know what to do my daughter is not taking care of her kids. She is dirty and abusive. She is in the process of divorce. I am concern about two of her young kids. They don't play like other kids. the boy is molesting his sister or vice versa. I suspect that someone is or was molesting them both. My daughter did not do anything about it but throw me out. I am afraid that if I report it to an agency that she will loose the kids to the system. |
It sounds very devastating to have had such a close relationship with your grandkids and to have that taken away for trying to protect them. I know it can be very scary to report suspected abuse but if you decide to do that the number to CPS is 875-5437. Just as an FYI when reporting suspected abuse the name and information of the person reporting is kept confidential. WEAVE offers a support line that can offer you support and go over possible options you may have. The support line number is 916-920-2952. WEAVE also offers counseling you can access our counseling by coming to one of our triage drop in’s. Triage can be accessed at our two counseling center locations. The 1900 K St triage times are Tues and Thur 10a-1p and Wednesday’s 4p-7pm; and WEAVE South located at 7600 Hospital Dr. Suite #1 has triage hours on Mondays 4p-7pm. |
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How do you walk away from a mentally abussive
relationship? Lost my job all my family live out
of state. My spouse is taking care of me. Feel
trapped and depressed all the time. I feel like
I've become very angry. |
Many abusive relationships create isolation form
support whether that’s a job, family or friends. It
is most often very difficult to leave an abusive
relationship whether it is physical or mental
abuse. It sounds very reasonable to be angry
considering what’s going on. It can be very helpful
to start to create a support system for yourself
whether that’s counseling, talking with friends or
joining groups where you feel supportive. WEAVE
offers a 24 hour Support and Information Line which
can be reached by calling (916)920-2952. The
supportline can offer support resources and
referrals to helping agencies. WEAVE also offers
counseling you can access our counseling by coming
to one of our triage drop in’s. Triage can be
accessed at our two counseling center locations.
The 1900 K St triage times are Tues and Thur 10a-1p
and Wednesday’s 4p-7pm; and WEAVE South located at
7600 Hospital Dr. Suite #1 has triage hours on
Mondays 4p-7pm. |
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My husband and I have been married 5 years and
been on and off total of 15 years. he's moved out
and back in over the marriage. We have a 4year
old. He has called me dumb boring a bitch not a
good mother. And throws things around. My son
does not see this behavior. And he cheated last
year because I didn't pay enough attention to
him. I worked full time and maintaining the
family finance. He was a stay at home dad. I
accepted him back. Recently he is calling me a
bitch again and that im boring and a fing idiot.
I am stressed out and feel like I walk on egg
shells all the time. I am a saty at home while he works and have no friends. Why does he do this.He's depressive and told border line bipolar. Why cant I get up and leave? |
I am so sorry for all that you must be going through. We recognize that it isn’t always easy to leave a relationship for various reasons. Sometimes because of the children or finances or sometimes it’s because someone has been put down for so long it’s hard to believe they can do it. Sometimes counseling can help work through those factors or barriers. It may be helpful to talk with one of our counselors either over the Support and Information Line or in-person at one of our triage sessions. Our 24 hour Support and Information Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952 and we have triage times that can be accessed at our two counseling center locations. The 1900 K St triage times are Tues and Thur 10a-1p and Wednesday’s 4p-7pm; and WEAVE South located at 7600 Hospital Dr. Suite #1 has triage hours on Mondays 4p-7pm. |
| When I was 6 or 7, my brother who was 10 at the time, sexually assaulted me. He made me think it was a game, until I realized how disgusting the acts were. Knowing I would get help, my brother pulled me aside and held a knife close to me. He made me promise not to tell anyone or he would kill me. I kept my mouth shut. He had a similar incident with my 2 friends, who told on him. He lived in a foster home for a few years and I hardly saw him. I feel like I grew up without a brother. And to make it worse, the neighbors told everyone about the incident, so none of my friends were allowed to play with me. My only "friends" were the Child Protective Service ladies who asked me uncomfortable questions. I was given a label for my brother's selfish act... it has been almost 10 years since then, and I have nightmares about it. I'm starting to feel bitter towards my brother for my unusual childhood, but I know I should be to blame for not telling anyone. I want to talk to my mom, but I feel like she'll be mad at me for bringing up the past. I need closure. I need something. Am I wrong to still be upset? What should I do? I'm going crazy here... |
It sounds like you are having a difficult time right now and it may be helpful to talk with one of our counselors either over the Support and Information Line or in-person at one of our triage sessions. The nightmares and anger that you are experiencing are common for survivors of childhood molest. Talking with a counselor may be a helpful step in working through the past so that you can feel better in the present. It is important to tell yourself that you are not to blame for the violence. You may not believe it right now but it is still important to tell yourself that it was not your fault. Your brother demonstrated to you at a very young age that he was violent and could hurt you and your friends. You are not to blame; it is not your fault. Our 24 hour Support and Information Line can be reached by calling (916)920-2952 and we have triage times that can be accessed at our two counseling center locations. The 1900 K St triage times are Tues and Thur 10a-1p and Wednesday’s 4p-7pm; and WEAVE South located at 7600 Hospital Dr. Suite #1 has triage hours on Mondays 4p-7pm. |
| Hello I really need your help. My aunt has for boys, 14, 12, 9 and 4 one of whom has autism. She married her high school sweet heart 30 years ago. He is emotional abusive in front of our family and has cheated on her several times. She had back surgery last year and has had heath issue since. She went into the hospital this week with a blood clot in her lung. Her Husband dropped of my 4 year old cousin at my home because he said " He was "F%&^ing done and tired of this S^&*" and need me to watch him until she got out of the hospital and he has "work" so someone need to take him. She had her birthday in the hospital Saturday and he didn't even visit or take the other boys there. She got out of the hospital today and he came and pick up my 4 year cousin. I didn't want to let him go. My aunt is unable to drive herself at this time and is on disability. | I am sorry to hear that your Aunt is having a difficult time. It sounds like you really care about her and your cousins. It is very nice of you to offer a safe environment for your young cousin while his mother was having surgery. It sounds like you are worried about your Aunt and the children’s wellbeing. If you would like to talk with someone about your concerns and how it feels for you to be witnessing the verbal and emotional abuse you are welcome to call our 24-hour Information and Support Line at (916)920-2952. Your Aunt is also welcome to call us and we can offer her some support and refer to other community resources should she need or want more help. |
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My family says I am in an abusive relationship, but I don't know if that's true. My husband doesn't hit me or physically hurt me, in fact I don't believe he would ever lay a hand on me, but he can be kind of mean. He doesn't talk to me much or touch me, ever. Not even a kiss on the cheek. He sits as far away from me as he can get. He won't give me any money, and I have to give him receipts for any money I spend. He says this is so he can stay on top of our finances, our budget is pretty tight and he doesn't want me to spend foolishly. But he won't ever tell me how much the bills are or whether they've been paid or even how much money he makes or how much we have in the bank. he says he shouldn't have to tell me and that if i wasn't such a suspicious person and just trusted him we wouldn't argue so much. If I ask him about money or tell him I'm lonely and I wish he would hold me, he gets VERY angry and yells at me. He says nothing's ever enough to make me happy and that I'm just an unhappy person who loves to argue. He tells me he wishes I would just "shut the fuck up and go away" or that he is seriously reconsidering his decision to stay with me. When he's angry, he says he can't think of any reasons why he should stay with me and that I make him wish he were dead. But sometimes, every once in a while, he can be very nice. he will talk about plans he wants to make with me, trips he wants us to go on together. i dont understand how he can shift positions to such extremes. its like living with two different people. He says our problems are my fault because I'm too much of a control freak and that I'm "Little Miss Perfect" and I think I'm better than everyone else, but I don't have control of anything. EVER! And no one knows better than I do that I am absolutely NOT better than everyone. I make myself crazy trying to figure out what is the right thing to do, I never know what will make him happy, when I ask him what he wants he just says he doesn't care. But if I chose the wrong thing, he gets mad, so he must care! I don't understand why he won't just tell me what he wants. If he would just say what will make him happy, I would do it. . I don't know what I do. I feel like he hates me, I don't understand why he stays with me if I make him so angry. I don't mean to, but it seems like I always do. Even though I just want to make him happy. How can I fix this? I just want him to see that I try so hard to be a good wife, I don't want to control him or take his money. I just want him to love me and hold me and not say he's going to leave all the time. I am so scared and lonely. I don't know what's wrong with me, what am I doing wrong? I don't have any health insurance, and I don't have any money of my own, so I can't get counseling, but I'm so upset and confused, I know I should probably be going. I can't eat or sleep and I have horrible panic attacks almost daily. I don't have anywhere to go. I've asked my sister and my parents if I can stay with them for a few months if I leave my husband, but they both said no. I don't have any other family and I don't really have any friends and I've been a stay-at-home mom for the last 15 years. I am just stuck and I feel like I'm drowning in worry. Is there anywhere I can go to get counseling that isn't going to cost me $200 an hour? I could never explain that kind of money loss to him, and I think he would be mad at me if he found out I was going to counseling. He says we should be able to work out our problems on our own. But I don't think we can. Where can I get help? I'm so tired of feeling like such a loser. |
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us to share what is going on for you at home. It sounds like you are understandably having a difficult time making sense of the hot and cold behaviors your husband is displaying. Often domestic violence is described in regards to physical abuse but domestic violence is more complex than that as emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse are all forms of domestic violence. It sounds like you would like to receive counseling services but that the financial difficulties make it difficult to access services. Our counseling department offers counseling on a sliding scale basis and the lowest group counseling starts at $10. We understand that finances and fear regarding spending money without getting caught by the partner are very real concerns. Maybe your friends or family might be able to help pay for your counseling services or bring you to one of our free triage sessions to get more information. We offer free counseling triage services on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11a-1pm and on Wednesdays from 4p-7pm. If you would like to have more information and find it difficult to leave the house to get counseling services you are welcome to call our 24 hour Support and Information Line for assistance the number is (916)920-2952. |
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I have been getting beat on a simi-regular basis
for over two years i need to get out! At a
woman's empowerment meeting i was told that you
can help. My problem is, i make about 850.00 a
month ,and i can pay my rent here of 615 no
problem but when i check into apartments. I need
to make 2x the rent . I don't have it. And i have
no auto or family or friends to move and all the
furniture is mine . I need to move where he does
not know where i am. I can do it alone and he has
made sure im isolated . The leader of the group
and the other lady's said you can help before he
ends up killing me. Can you help me? |
Your situation sounds really scary. If you are in need of a safe place to stay our 24/7 supportline at 916-920-2952 can help you. They can offer you housing referrals that may be able to help your situation. WEAVE also has a safehouse for persons escaping a violent environment and have nowhere else to go. If you are interested you can call our 24/7 supportline at 916-920-2952 and start the process with our screening intake. WEAVE has many other supportive services for more information you can call our supportline. It takes a lot of courage to leave a scary and or abusive situation, it’s great that your reaching out for help and not doing it alone. |
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can u help me move from Massachusetts to
California to flee from my ex husband he's going to kill me I just need help with the funds to get a plane ticket |
Unfortunately our agency does not provide that service or have resources for situations like that. You can call your local Law Enforcement agency if he has made threats to your life and or is being abusive. The National DV hotline is 1800-799-7233 if you are interested in finding the domestic violence agency that is closest to you to see if they have any resources that can help. |
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How can I help my sister get away from her
husband? They have been
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It is very common for the violence to escalate after someone leaves an abusive relationship. It is good that your sister and her children continue to contact the police each time he is violating the order. It is understandably frustrating and scary that the police are taking a long time to respond. Your sister can contact our 24-hour Support and Information Line with assistance in creating a safety plan and reviewing options available to her including finding safe shelter. Your sister may also call the police department responding to the calls and ask to speak with someone in charge to ask about the late response time and verify that they physical attacks and threats are on record. It is good that your sister has you to lean on and confide in. It can be very difficult for support persons to see their loved ones in a violent relationship and you too are more than welcome to call our 24-hour support line to get additional information and support. We can go over a safety plan with you and your sister over the phone. |
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I was a victim of domestic violence for 2
years..your attorney helped me with divorce
paperwork...however, I am STILL waiting..after
numerous callbacks to YOU..for my free counseling
weeks. WEAVE was supposed to call me when had
counselor set up...I have called several times,
but I am old and disabled partly from the
abuse..and I have given up on being worth
anything, if family, friends..my OWN doctor and
YOU..will not help me. Since..my own FAMILY has
started in...my daughter-in-law, whom I
graciously allowd to live with me whenever my son, she and kids needed it//has pushed and hit me several yimes on my injurred spots when I do not obey :( I turned to my family physician..who has decided without notice to stop my meds based on what SHE says; that I can afford to come in for medication check when cannot. (edited for length) My grandchildren have been also told I am bad..result..I am alone (edited for length) I was...asked my family for help. NOW they are abusing me on FB, on my cell..AND say I am mentally ill go get help before bother again..and I am sick..asking for help..does ANYBODY care at all? (edited for length) neighbors, family..have turned in my daughter-in-law for abusing my grandchildren..so they moved out several months ago..blaming me..and will not let me know where they live even. (edited for length) when my abusive husband chased me out of our house 2 weeks after an emergecy hysterectomy. trying to cram pills down my throat. (edited for length) SO I have premanent brain damage because aused, and no one cares to the point of letting it happen:( Please help me..I have not eaten for days, nor can I even come out of apt their abuse so bad..had togive up FB and my cellphone..and I am sick and bedridden :( I know I am whinynow..my loved oes are killing me and society has given them approval..not tried to stop them..or help ME. |
Regarding finding out about where you are at on the waiting list for counseling you can call our business office at 916-448-2321 and ask. If you are being abused or are in an unsafe environment I encourage you to call the police or Adult Protective Services (if appropriate). The number to APS for Sacramento County is (916) 874-9377. You would need to call the APS number for the county that you live in. WEAVE also offers a 24/7 Support and information line at 916-920-2952 where you can receive support as well as information and referrals. |
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I have escaped an abusive marriage. I am living in a small town in Northern CA and am trying to move to the Sacramento area to get away from where my ex lives. I do not feel safe in the same town and have been advised that I would receive help to relocate. Unfortunately I am having to quit my job and hope I can find another one. I am a teacher so this could be difficult but I will do my best to make things work. I have a 12 year old daughter who will be coming with me. The courts allowed for her to move with me. My divorce has been brutal and has really taken a toll on my finances. Unfortunately I am losing my house to foreclosure so my credit is affected. I am terrified I have always had excellent credit and now I fear I will not be able to find a rental in a safe neighborhood in the fair oaks/ orangevale area. I have been in contact with the local domestic violence advocate who has offered to help with moving expenses and told me to contact WEAVE. I am wondering what kind of services are available to help me financially until I can find a job to support my daughter and me? Am I eligible for any kind of assistance......help with food, housing costs etc.? I do not receive any child support and have been court ordered to pay spousal support. Life seems so ufair right now......I lived in an abusive home, I escaped, now I have to pay him. I have no choice but to leave the area and take a chance in order to better my life and that of my daughter.
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What a brave and courageous action you are taking to keep you and your daughter safe. As far as financial help with food or housing costs you can call our 24/7 support line at 916-920-2952 where a counselor is able to give you many resources and referrals for your specific needs. Weave unfortunately does not provide financial assistance but does have many other services such as counseling, legal assistance ect. The 24/7 support line can provide you with information on all of WEAVE’s services and how to access them as well as support along the way. |
| One of my parents-the one I (in like 5 hours the one I used to live with) live with hit me,shoved me, AND threw 2 brushes, a blowdryer, screamed "if you don't get out of my house right now...", "I will kill you", and they tried to through a ladder at me. I have to go live with my alcoholic parent now and my brother said that this parent was abusive. I don't want to live with either of my parents but sadly I don't have a choice | It may seem like you don’t have any choices right now but I encourage you to talk to adults that you trust and let them know what’s going on. Maybe an adult at school or a relative or a friend’s parent. It’s great that you’re writing here and reaching out for help but here are a couple of referrals that can also help: You can always call the Police or Child Protective Services (916-875-5437) when you feel that the environment you are living in is not safe. Here is a couple of hotline numbers specifically for teens: CA Youth Crisis Line 800-843-5200, Diogenes/WIND Youth Services1-800-339-7177, and the Sutter Counseling Center Teen Hotline 916-386-3620. WEAVE also has a 24/7 support line at 920-2952. We are mandated reporters which mean that if you give us specific information about yourself and the abuse we have to make a report to CPS (just as a heads up). It is never ok for anyone to threaten to abuse you or abuse you your options sounds really dangerous and my hopes are that the adults that you choose to talk to help make sure you’re in a safeplace |
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I have been separated from my husband almost 3
years. The abuse was emotional & verbal &
I was so depressed & anxious during the 18
plus years we were together-I couldn't leave. I
believed he would get the kids & I lived in
misery & fear. The longer I stayed, the lower
my self-esteem went until I began to attend a
Bible study & started to hear how much God
loved me & the women in the study did too. My
depression began to lift & I started to stop
being a door mat. I said no when I didn't want
sex-something I'd never done. When I began to get
better, he asked for a divorce. I left the house
& got an apartment, because he wouldn't
leave. I am safe, but I'm back being depressed
with no self esteem. I'm 51 & wondering why
I'm not doing better with life. I'm so used to
putting on a false face for the world that I
don't think the places I've reached out for help
really believe there's anything wrong with me.
I'm confused all the time. I am afraid to even
hire a lawyer because he doesn't think we need
one. Can I be helped? I survived childhood
molestations, a peeping tom, a stalker &
rape, but I now feel broken & lost. When I
meet other women, like at church, they seem to
expect me to be o.k. & moving on with life.
Why can't I do that? I'm just existing. We have a
15 yr old son & a 22 yr old daughter. I have
my son half time, but I feel so challenged to be
a good parent. The kids seem to have forgotten
how their dad was with me. That hurts, but I've
kind of gotten used to that. Thank you. |
Thank you for reaching out for help it takes alot of courage. Even though the abuse may be over doesn’t mean the healing process is. Everyone’s healing process is their own and there is no set date for people to feel “normal” again. Sometimes people create a new normal because when something so traumatic happens it changes them forever. That doesn’t mean they can’t have a normal happy fulfilling life it just means that it is never like it never happened. It can be normal for it to take several years to work through trauma and even then it’s an up and down roller coaster of feelings and days you may have. It can feel like you’re going crazy or it can feel like you’re a walking zombie there is a wide range of ways trauma can leave you feeling but even though it doesn’t feel normal it is very normal considering what you have gone through. Others may not understand this process and expect victims to snap out of it but it may be because they don’t understand the process of working through such trauma. That’s why it may be helpful to get some help from professionals that have an expertise in the trauma that you have experienced, whether that is a medical doctor or counselor. WEAVE has a 24/7 supportline you can call for support at 916-920-2952. WEAVE also has counseling that you can access by coming to our counseling triage. Our counseling triage is a one on one assessment with a counselor to determine how we can best meet your needs. We offer triage on multiple days and times to meet your needs. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers counseling triage on Tues and Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. I hope this helps and please keep reaching out and building your support system. |
|
I currently have a friend who is trying to leave
an abusive relationship. She has two small children with her abuser. She lives outside the Sacramento area. What is the safest way for her to get in touch with you? If I let her use my phone to call you can you do an in take over the phone? |
To start the process of our safehouse entrance she would need to call our Support and Information line at 916-920-2952 to do the initial intake screening. It would take at least 45 min. She can also call that same number and talk with one of our counselors that can help her with safety planning for her and her children. I know leaving an abusive relationship can be very scary and stressful for the person that’s leaving as well as their friends that are helping them. I just want to remind you to take care of yourself and find someone you can talk with if you need support. WEAVE has counseling and a 24/7 supportline if you or your friend need someone to talk to. |
|
I left my abusive marriage over 10 years ago,
but our 2 teenage daughters are suffering
psychological and verbal abuse. We have a
legally binding 50/50 |
Great job being cautious when leaving this relationship. Statistically it is sometimes the most dangerous for a person when leaving an abusive relationship. Sometimes the abuser can feel desperate and become more abusive. In regards to meeting with someone about getting out of the relationship you can always call our support and information line. Our support and information line gives you access to a live counselor 24/7 to provide you with emotional support information and resources. They can also help you with safety planning. The number is (916) 920-2952. If you are interested in WEAVE's counseling services you would need to attend a free triage session, this is a one on one assessment with a counselor to determine how we can best meet your needs. We offer triage on multiple days and times to meet your needs. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers counseling triage on Tues and Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. In regards to emergency shelter WEAVE does have a safehouse the first step to accessing this service is to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 and complete a phone screening. I know it took a lot of courage to leave ten years ago and I’m sorry you are going through some of the same abuse still. I can’t give legal advice as I am not an expert in that area but I know that it is always a good idea to document (date/time/incident) any type of manipulation or verbal abuse. You can show this to a legal expert or attorney to see what legal options you have. Another option is calling CPS at 875-5437 to see if the abuse is reportable to them. It may be something they can investigate. As far as options to emotional recovery WEAVE has counseling available for you and/or your children. You can start counseling by going to our counseling triage. You can get the specific dates and times for triage by calling our support and information line at 920-2952. The support and information line also has a live counselor you can talk to for emotional support as well as information and resources the number again is 920-2952. I think it’s great that your daughter felt safe to open up to you. The more support and positive things you and your children have in your life the better. Thank you for reaching out for help you don’t have to go through this alone. |
|
Using the WEAVE 24/7 Support whe having a
triggering event. I |
Triggering is normal It is absolutely ok to use the 24 hour Support & Information Line when you are experiencing a triggering event. The advocates who answer the phone understand how scary these times can be and are there to support you. If you are continuing to experience the triggers and they are affecting you regularly, you may want to consider meeting with a WEAVE counselor to develop additional coping skills. The advocates on the Support & Information Line can you information about accessing additional services. |
| Can you refer me to similar groups in the San Francisco Bay Area? | There are multiple domestic violence and sexual assault resources in the SF Bay Area. You can find a listing for domestic violence agencies here at the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence website. Sexual assault programs can be found here at the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault website. You can also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 to get referrals. |
|
Ive been abused from a child into adulthood both sexually and physically I never gotten any help for it or other issues I have had because of these experiences. Now I have an open cps case because of domestic violence from my husband I have to take classes and see you guys but how will I know that what I say to you will not effect me getting my daughter back what if you think im crazy. im scared if im honest that I will never get my daughter back but at same time all my family and friends want me to get help. I want help im scared everyday that I might to something dangerous to my self some days Im ok but others not its a rollercoaster I don't want to be on anymore but im scared if I ask for help and tell my story it will be used against my I don't trust anyone never have idk what my question is really im just don't want to cheat this program if it can actually help me |
If you feel you may harm yourself, please call the Suicide Hotline at 916.368.3111. It is completely understandable that you would be scared and worried. You deserve to feel safe and to heal. WEAVE helps many women who have experienced abuse and are now involved with CPS. Your concern about sharing is understandable and we want to support your healing. We know you want to be a good mom. The support group can help you to share your story and to know that others have had similar experiences and feeling – you are not alone. Any relationship – past or present – that is abusive is complex and talking with the counselor can help. If you need confidential support– you can always call WEAVE’s 24 hour Support & Information Line for support for the abuse at 916.920.2952. We are mandated reports and the Support Line and Suicide Hotline advocates will be honest with you about anything you share that would have to be reported to CPS during the conversation. |
| Is there any way that I could have information sent to me? I have a friend who needs help knowing what to do to get out. She is afraid to even leave her house and if I could show her about how ans what you guys do for women escaping a violent situation, she also has a 4 year old boy and is afraid that her husband might take him. | Thank you for caring about your friend and seeking out resources to help her. Having a non judgmental support system is so important for survivors of domestic violence. Materials and information about our services, safety planning and the cycle of violence have been mailed to the address you provided. You may also receive addtional resources and support by calling our 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Has my boyfriend got an anger problem? I don't want to talk to anyone I know because I don't want their biased opinions. The other day he threw his best friend to the floor when he was drunk for no reason. He was very sad and apologetic about it 2 days later and the whole next day, and also says that he can't remember what happened? Last week it was the same situation; drunk and can't remember, except it was with me (his girlfriend) and he was very mean with some of the things he said - for no reason! And kept threatening to end it between us. Today he smashed a plate just because he ripped a tea bag open and there was no bin to put the rubbish in. We argue sometimes like any other couple, but he ends up getting more wound up than anyone I've know and storms off swearing, slamming doors and it's normally over something quite stupid. And has even happened when there hasn't been an argument, but he disagrees on something I've said. I know he gets out of hand, and I don't geel threatened by him, and I know he wouldn't physically hurt me. But what can I do to help? It scares me seeimg him get so suddenly angry about something, and I've told him that if it carriers on I will leave, because I can't handle being around someone like that. But the truth is i know I won't leave him because I love him. Instead - what can I do to help him??? Whenever I try talking to him about his ways he gets angry. | In a relationship it is important to set boundaries and establish what behaviors we will and will not accept. You are correct to point out that all couples argue as every relationship requires work. In a healthy relationship couples will work through their problems using communication, teamwork and mutual respect. It sounds like you are seeing some red flags in your boyfriend's behavior and it is very important to recognize these signs. When we are intoxicated or under the influence we may be more open to doing things that are out of character; however alcohol does not make us abusive towards others. Drinking may be bringing other issues to the surface for your boyfriend that he needs help addressing. Discovering what these issues are can be difficult especially when discussing the subject seems to cause more anger. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about strategies you can use to broach this subject safely. Your boyfriend may also find that speaking to a counselor can help him manage his anger in healthier ways. WEAVE offers counseling, on sliding scale fees, to help you grow as individuals while you work towards a healthier relationship. You may access this service by attending a free triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. You may also feel more comfortable speaking to a counselor over the phone. WEAVE's 24 hour support and information is always available to assist you. Please call 916.920.2952 to speak to a counselor today. |
| I have been living with my BF for almost 3 years. It started out really great. He was willing to try and get to know my kids even though he always made comments about never wanting to date someone with kids before. after about a year he started telling me that I needed to let my youngest son live with his dad. My other two are grown and out of the house, but they are no longer allowed at our house. Our relationship has become violent as well. He has thrown things at me and pushed me across the kitchen and I fell backward and hit the counter. He constantly puts me down and makes comments about me getting old. He has made it impossible for me to leave because even though he makes way more money than I do, I pay most of the house payment. In Jan of last year I helped him buy a house. I couldn't put my name on it because of my bad credit stemming from my divorce. I am still trying to repair that as well. He pretty much makes all of my decisions and tells me what to do. He tells me he's just trying to protect me, but I know better. He tells me that I need to go out and do things with my friends, but he knows that because of the bills I pay and the fact that I pay a larger portion of the house payment, I don't have any extra money. I have to depend on him for any "fun" activities and then he constantly reminds me that he pays for all of the "fun" stuff we do, but he also gets to hang out with his friends without me. I have had to start hiding the fact that I go and pick up my son a couple of times a week so that I can spend time with him. I'm not allowed to answer my phone when any of my family calls if he is home. This has been bad enough but on Friday I had surgery on my foot and I am now completely dependent on him for everything. (edited for length) He has pretty much alienated me from all of my friends and family and now that I can't walk or drive I feel like I am stuck here. Plus I don't know what he would do to all of my belongings if I left. I have already had to start all over twice due to divorce. I can't afford to do it again. I don't know what to do. | Reaching out for help is incredibly brave and we thank you for finding that courage. Living with abuse can take a toll on many aspects of our lives. It sounds like your partner has isolated you from family and friends and is using multiple forms of abuse in your relationship. Please know that the abuse is not your fault and you do have options and resources to help you break free. In a healthy relationship both partners work together and respect each other's choices. It sounds like your partner is making most of the decisions and controlling your relationship together and your relationship with family and friends. It is so important that you have recognized these signs and see the red flags. Survivors face many obstacles while in an abusive relationship and when they decide to leave. If you choose to leave the relationship WEAVE can offer you the support and resources to do so. We can also help you develop a safety plan so that you have options whether you choose to leave or stay. You may qualify for free shelter at our domestic violence safehouse which includes; counseling, shelter and assistance. We may also be able to offer you legal assistance should you decide to file for a domestic violence restraining order to further enhance your safety. The first step to accessing our services is to call our 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. Please make sure you are in a safe and private place when you call. Our phone counselors are confidential, supportive and can help you determine your safest options. If you would prefer to speak to a counselor in person you may attend a free counseling triage session at one of our two locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
|
I am in a difficult situation, my soon to be ex
husband is harassing me and my boyfriend of 4
years. he started with threats to me trying to
take my daughter away from me but it escalated
when I was granted legal & physical custody
of her. He has been trying to smut up my bf name,
calling cps several times saying my bf touched my
daughter and made accusations of abuse, all of
these things have been investigated and put to
rest but he still continues to harass, stalk me
and my bf workplace and spread lies about us to
people we dont know so we are always looking over
our shoulder. This man is bipolar schitzophrenic
and yet he still gets visitation twice a month
for "the best interests of the child" the judge
says its a he say she say but i have
hundreds of text threats and some are being
lost because my phone is at max capacity.
this guy was already ordered to stay away
from school, to leave me alone and still keeps
filing all these bogus complaints on me that get him nowhere and actually agree leaning in my favor. My question is that we feel we are not safe. He has been driving through my neighborhood and he is gonna do something really bad. he already tried to beat up my bf but bf pushed him away and he called cops to make a citizen arrest. he thinks this will give him leverage in family court but i think he needs his visitation terminated for good. he is dangerous and tonight he is texting that he is gonna do something to us....is there safehouses for families? |
Sharing custody with an abusive partner can be very challenging for survivors. WEAVE knows that everyone deserves to be safe and feel safe in their daily lives. It sounds like your ex is doing his best to take away that sense of security for your family. You are right to take his threats seriously and it is important to document each threat he makes. You may consider filing for a domestic violence restraining order as a way to protect yourself and your family. WEAVE offers free legal assistance to survivors and can help you establish a safety plan moving forward. To learn more about the services we offer please call our 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. Phone counselors can offer you resources and support as you take your next steps away from abuse. |
| my boyfriend was just arrested for domestic violence. there is a emergency protective order against him, but I still don't geel safe, what should my next action be? | You are not alone and you have many options and resources to help you feel safe and begin to heal emotionally. You may consider applying for a temporary restraining order that way you have the protections longer. WEAVE's legal department can help you with this process. You may also attend a domestic violence restraining order workshop at the Family Courthouse (3341 Power Inn Road). Workshops are held on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 8:45am - Noon. The workshop is free and you should arrive early to ensure that there is space. If you would like assistance from WEAVE's legal department you may attend a free triage session at one of our locations. Legal triage will help you to asses your options as well as establish an action plan and a safety plan. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. If you are in need of safe shelter you may also call our 24 hour support line at 916.920.2952 to start the screening process. Phone counselors can also help you start safety planning. If you feel that you are in danger we encourage you to call 9-1-1 right away for assistance. |
|
Necesito ayuda para saber si mi problema es
en verdad un problema. mi esposo y yo
hemos estado casados por 40 años y en este
momento estoy pasando por un problema que he
pasado ya muchisimas veces en el lapso de 40 años
y no se que hacer, como actuar o como enfretar a
mi esposo. El y yo hemos estado sin hablarnos ya
por un mes, viviendo bajo el mismo techo. Yo le
hice una pregunta muy sencilla, y como siempre,
me contesto de la misma manera, el me ofendio y
me hizo sentir muy mal una vez mas, solo que esta
vez si se lo dije, yo le dije; porque siempre me
haces sentir como una estupida?, y sali del
cuarto me fui a mi recamara y llore de dolor e
indignacion, me senti muy lastimada el ni siquiera se dio por enterado y hasta este dia el se hace el enojado y ofendido, y yo se porque lo conozco, que el me culpa a mi y espera que yo venga a el humillada lo cual yo podria hacer, pero no se como afrontarlo, tengo mucho miedo a sus palabras ofensivas porque no importa que sea, yo siempre tengo que ser la que venga a el, y cuando lo hago siempre termino siendo yo la culpable, la de mal caracter, la orgullosa, la que no sabe hablar ni como expresarse, el siempre esta bien y siempre tiene la razon. El me humilla, me ofende y averguenza delante de las personas, me dice que todo se me olvida que no se lo que digo, que estoy sorda, me puede decir con mucha facilidad todo lo que, segun el, hago mal o lo que no se hacer, en cambio nunca me dice que hice algo bien y se lo dije en una ocacion, y se quedo sorprendido porque yo nunca le contesto nada aunque me haga sentir que soy vasura. Yo siempre he callado y aguantado todas sus ofensas y casi nunca digo nada, hago lo que el quiera, voy con el a donde quiera aunque yo no lo quiera, yo no digo nada para no hacerlo enojar y siempre pretendo que todo esta bien con tal de mantener la armonia. En mi casa yo hago todo el trabajo de la casa, ahora no estoy trabajando, pero aun cuando trabajaba yo tenia que llegar a casa y hacer todo para los dos. Bueno hay mucho mas que quisiera decir, pero no quiero tomar mucho de su tiempo, solo quiero saber si yo estoy exagerando las cosas y que debo hacer. Yo quisiera irme de su lado por un tiempo para que el sepa la diferencia entre estar yo a su lado y atenderlo en todo, y entre no estar con el y tener que valerse a si mismo ya que el practicamente es un niño sin su mama, solo que el no lo sabe ya que nunca hemos estado separados por mas de tres dias, solo que yo no tendria a donde ir asi que esta opcion no es posible. No se si esto es algo en lo que me podrian aconsejar, o quizas necesite hablar con alguien personalmente, o quizas necesitamos consejeria los dos. Por favor necesito un consejo o alguien con quien hablar. |
En respuesta a sus preguntas déjeme decirle en
primer lugar que usted no está sola y que su
historia que compartió tiene mucho de los
elementos de el abuso emocional. Lo importante
en este momento es buscar apoyo para usted y
poder aprender sobre la dinámica de la
violencia doméstica. Considero que su pregunta
sobre si sería mejor hablar con alguien
personalmente es apropiada ya que de esa manera
usted puede empezar a trabajar en un plan
seguro y aprender sobre sus opciones. WEAVE le
ofrece ese espacio si usted puede asistir a una
sesión sin cita está disponible para todas las
personas. Usted siempre puede llamar a la línea
de apoyo e información 24 hrs al dia. Lunes de 4 - 7 PM en 7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I Sacramento, CA 95823 Jueves de 10 AM - 1 PM en 1900 K St. Sacramento, CA 95811 |
| I seen that you offer legal advice but how do we know if it works? I currently own a house with my abuser, how do I get my name off of the loan so I can leave? How do laws protect you against a stalker? If I leave, he will find me at work, my families house, etc. What can be done about this? Also we have a child together so we would have to see each other, its just a scary situation and I don't know what to do. | No one should ever have to live in fear and there is no excuse for abuse in any form. WEAVE knows that every abusive relationship is unique and that each survivor requires an individual approach. Our legal program includes access to trained legal advocates and, if appropriate, attorneys. As each situation requires different legal remedies the best way to get started is to come in for a free legal triage session. During triage an advocate will help you explore your options, determine your next steps and establish a safety plan. We offer triage at multiple locations for convenience. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| I was able to get out of an abusive relationship and got a job where I can support myself but my x boyfriend is very angry and threatening to kill me I want to go to the police but I have a traffice warrant. If I do I might get arrested and then lose my job and it will all be for nothing it took me two years stashing money and planning to get away from him after he beat me up and put me in the hospital what do I do? | First I want to commend you for being brave enough to leave a bad situation and ask for help. There is no excuse for the abuse that you have endured. No one deserves to feel threatened or afraid, no matter what their circumstances are. You have many options, including applying for a domestic violence restraining order. WEAVE offers free legal assistance to help with this process. To access this service you may attend a free legal triage session at one of our locations. This can help you to better understand your rights and options. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. If you feel that you are in immediate danger please call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of law enforcement. |
| Are there restrictions accepting women into shelter with PTSD. I was told they are required to have necessary medication before you will accept them. Is that true? | Our domestic violence Safehouse screens potential residents based on many factors including needs and appropriatness for the Safehouse Program. If you are in need of shelter we encourage you to call our 24 hour support and information hotline to begin a screening. Phone counselors can be reached at 916.920.2952 |
| Do you offer help for emotional and verbal abuse too? | WEAVE recognizes 5 types of abuse; physical, emotional, sexual, financial and spiritual. We offer services to assist survivors of any type of domestic violence. Please call our confidential 24 hour Support and Information hotline at 916.920.2952 for more information about the services we provide. |
| I am a domestic violence advocate and I have a victim that has been abused for a year. (Edited for content and identifying information). | WEAVE serves the greater Sacramento, CA region and cannot respond to email addresses or telephone numbers left on the message boards due to safety and confidentiality requirements. Please contact law enforcement in your area to determine if the victim you are assisting requires emergency intervention. Victims in Sacramento can contact WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. If you are outside of the Sacramento, CA region, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources in your area 800.799.7233. |
| I left a domestic violence relationship almost 10 years ago, (WEAVE helped) but the judges gave my son to his father 50/50, since the father never hit him except when he was 7 weeks old.. Now my sone is 12, witnessed another DV incident with the girlfriend, the girlfriend cries all the time, including one night she slept in my son's room on the floor crying herself to sleep, despite there being 4 bedrooms and two living rooms in their house. Two bedrooms are empty. My son wants to live with me full time, is depressed, and I want to bring him home. I have no money, but his father has an awesome lawyer and plenty of money. Are there resources to help my son, who is still in the situation even though I am not? | Witnessing domestic violence can be very damaging to a child and you are right to be concerned. There are many options and resources to help you and your son. WEAVE's Free Legal Department can offer you free services and information about your rights. The first step to accessing our legal services is to attend a triage session at one of our two locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. If you feel that your son's life is in danger please call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of law enforcement. |
|
just a week ago, the man i was seeing for 3 years
hit me serveral times, took away my phone so
i was unable to call the police and i felt
like my life was threatened. He choked me
and hit me, my cut on my arm is still recovering
i still have 1 bruise on my back, but the rest
have gone away. He had damadged a baby gate i had
bought for my pets, as well as the walls in
my home. What can i legally do for those
damadges to be repaired out of his expense. and
is there anything i can do at this point to file
for domestic violence. this is not the first time he has done this. but i dont want him anywhere near my property again and i want the damadges payed for. What are my options here? |
You are experiencing domestic violence. You may support 24/7 on our support and information line to help you determine the best course of action. Counselors can be reached anytime at 916.920.2952. WEAVE's legal department may also be able to offer you resources and guidance. You may access this service by attending a free legal triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. During the legal triage session, you can learn more about your options including a Temporary Restraining Order and about legal recourse you may have regarding the damages. |
| Do you guys have any support groups or counseling for leaving an abusive relationship? | WEAVE offers individual and group counseling, at sliding scale fees, for domestic violence survivors. You may access these services by attending a free counseling triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| If a husband constantly harrasses, badger and threatens the wife but has not really hurt her yet but had raised his hand as if he was going to do it...can the wife call WEAVE? What is the # for Modesto, CA | WEAVE recognizes 5 types of domestic violence; Physical, Emotional, Sexual, Financial and Spiritual. It sounds like you are experiencing emotional abuse with threats of physical abuse. There are many resources to help you as no one deserves to live in fear. While WEAVE is located in Sacramento the National Domestic Violence Hotline can link you to local resources in the Modesto area. Please call 800.799.7233 to speak to a confidential counselor about your options. If you feel that your life is in danger please call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of local law enforcement. |
| My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and very much in love. He has never laid a hand on me until this weekend. We were arguing and I pushed him away from me and then he pushd me back, making me fall on the ground. My mom called the cops and he was arrested with a battery charge. I never wanted him to get arrested or anything. He was drunk and we were in a heated argument. I still love him very much but we have a no contact order and have to go to court in two weeks. The attorney said its not my decision whether I want to drop the charges or not. I have no idea what to do. I don't want him to face time in prison just for pushing me. It wasn't even that hard. I was wearing flip flops and I fell. I am scared for what might happen in court. Even though we have a no contact order, I am dying to talk to him and tell him how sorry I am that my mom called the cops and that he was arrested. For about two months before this incident, we have been talking about getting married. Even though he pushed me, I still love him to death and still want him in my life. He does have some anger issues but he has been going to counseling and has gotten MUCH better at controlling his anger. | It is always difficult to see someone we love suffer, especially if we blame ourselves for that suffering. It is not your fault that your boyfriend was arrested. Physical violence, in any form, is never part of a healthy relationship. When we are arguing and angry things can often escalate quickly, especially when physical violence is involved. It sounds like the police were called to help de-escalate the situation safely. Law Enforcement has a difficult job to do, especially when it comes to instances of domestic violence. They often have to make tough decisions about what will best keep us safe. Once an arrest has been made it is up to the district attorney to decide if the case will go forward. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about the situation and how you are feeling. Compassionate and confidential counselors can be reached at anytime by calling WEAVE's 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor in person by attending a free triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| How do I safely break away from my bf...a month ago he broke my hand while punching me in the head. Last night I slightly raised my voice he picked me up by my face and throat and slammed me on the kitchen floor..I came to and threw up..my hair was bloody and I could barely stand. He did let me sleep until I left for work this morning...I am not going back, but he knows where I work and he is always saying if I leave he will kill me and everyone I know. | There is no excuse for the abuse that you have endured and what happened was not your fault. You are also not alone as there are many resources to assit you in leaving safely. It sounds like the physical violence you are experiencing is causing a great deal of harm. For your safety you may wish to consult a medical professional about your head injury. You may also wish to obtain a domestic violence restraining order as a way to increase your personal safety. Speaking to a counselor about your options can also help in determining the best course of action. Confidential and compassionate counselors are available 24/7 on WEAVE's Support and Information line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. Our phone counselors can help you establish a safety plan and share important information with you about domestic violence. If you feel that your life is in danger we encourage you to call 9-1-1. |
| I have been in an abusive relationship for 20 years. I have tried to leave but have failed I am scared to death to leave now. How can I leave and be safe? | WEAVE can offer you many resources to help you safely leave an abusive relationship. Our counselors can help you develop a safety plan, file for a domestic violence restraining order and assist you in finding a safe place to stay. You may also qualify to stay at our domestic violence safehouse. The first step to accessing these services is to speak to a phone counselor on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line by calling 916.920.2952. |
| I am currently in an abusive relationship that I need to leave immediately. I have children with special needs. Autism. And they are greatly effected by change. I'm scared to leave this relationship as I am completely dependent on my spouse financially, and just worried about the effect the transition will have on my kids. Can WEAVE help me? | Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging especially with children involved. The abuse you have endured is not your fault and you do have options to leave this relationship safely. WEAVE offers many services including; temporary safe shelter, legal assistance, and counseling (for adults and children). The first step to accessing our services is to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. A phone counselor will be able to help you develop a safety plan and determine your best options. If you feel that your life is in danger we urge you to call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of your local law enforcement for safety. |
| My girlfriend's ex was emotionally and physically abusive. I am the first person she has dated since this happened. She filed a PFA against him a year ago and he spent time in jail for violating it. I have been with her for two months and I am trying to figure out ways to gain her trust. Anytime I tell her I am going somewhere or doing something without her she has a tendency to think I am doing something I shouldn't be, such as meeting other girls. She eventually realizes that is not whats happening but it is still hampering the advancement of our relationship. It has been very hard and any advice would be greatly appreciated. | The physical and emotional trauma of abuse can have a lasting impact on the lives of many survivors. It sounds like your girlfriend may still be struggling to cope with the abuse she endured. Talking to a counselor about how she is feeling may help her to begin healing. You may also find it helpful to talk to a counselor as this can help you find ways to support her as your relationship progresses. WEAVE offers counseling services that may help you both individually and possibly together when you are ready. The first step to accessing our counseling services is to attend a free triage session at one of our locations. Triage is an individual meeting with a counselor where you may share your concerns and goals. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. WEAVE also offers 24 hour phone counseling on our Information and Support Line and you can reach a counselor anytime by calling 916.920.2952 |
| I have been married almost nine years, the first time my husband hit me was about six years ago. There have been more altercations that have occured, I have never really opened up to anyone about what has been happening to me. I have called 911 twice int he past and no arrests were made. This past weekend we got into an arguement and he put his hands on me. I hit him back in self defense and then called 911 to diffuse the situation. I was arrested and taken to jail. He manipulated the situation and the officer's believed him. I am now facing a felony, while he, the real abuser is bragging to his friends about getting me locked up. I did not cause any great bodily damage to him, but he managed to make a small scratch bleed for the officer. What can I do? | First I want to commend you for coming forward and asking for help. Sharing your story is incredibly brave and there is no excuse for the abuse you have endured. Law enforcement has a very difficult job and often have to make tough decisions. Please know that you do have options and there are resources to help you. Counselors are available 24/7 on our support and information line to listen, offer resources and help you determine the best course of action. Counselors can be reached anytime at 916.920.2952. WEAVE's legal department may also be able to offer you resources and guidance. You may access this service by attending a free legal triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| Please help I've been with my partner 8 years and in the last 3 he has become physically violent i've tried ending it yet he tries to kill himself he strangled me tonight i nearly blacked out felt my body go limp was so scary he smashes everything up help me please we have 2 small kids together and they have witnessed this i'm scared he will die i have seen him try killing himself he crys and says he needs help that he dont realise what he does till after | Living with abuse, of any type, can be very frightening. Please know that the abuse is not your fault and you do have options. WEAVE's counselors can help you develop a safety plan to help ensure that you and your children are protected. You may also find it useful to obtain a domestic violence restraining order to protect you further. You may also qualify to stay in our domestic violence safehouse if you choose to leave the relationship. Phone counselors can also offer you resources that may help your partner get help as well. WEAVE also knows that witnessing violence can be very scary for children and cause emotional harm. We offer counseling services for children to help them begin to heal as well. The first step to accessing these resources is to call our confidential 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. You may also choose to speak to a counselor in person by attending a free triage session at one of our counseling centers. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. If you feel that your life, or the lives of your children, may be in danger we encourage you to call 9-1-1 for help. |
| How do I know what is considered domestic violence? | WEAVE recognizes 5 types of domestic violence; Physical, Sexual, Emotional, Financial and Spiritual. All of these types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. These types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. For help identifying specific behaviors please call our 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Hi, I was told that WEAVE provides services for women who are married to compulsice gamblers. Is this true? how does the agency see this as violence? He has complete control over the money and has gambled so much away. I want to leave but can't b/c of financial reasons. I don't know what to do. Please help, thank you. | WEAVE recognizes 5 types of abuse; physical, emotional, sexual, financial and spiritual. Financial abuse occurs when one partner has complete control over the finances in the relationship. In a healthy relationship both partners will communicate and make financial decisions together. It sounds like your partner is controlling your finances and making decisions you do not agree with. WEAVE can help by offering support, resources and options. Phone counselors are available 24/7 on our support and information line to help and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952 |
| Not sure I belong here, but a friend recommended. I have been married for almost 7 years. My husband is mostly loving toward me and the two kids, but I think he may be depressed or have something else wrong. He has explosive anger (not new) and though it doesn't happen often, I find myself constantly orchestrating situations to avoid him blowing up at the kids or anyone else. I handle the kids care/activities, housework and basically everything just to keep things running smooth with no drama. He choked me once about 9 years ago and never again. I am stressed from years of walking on eggshells, but I am pretty sure he would commit suicide if I left, so it seems easier to stay. I am not afraid of him, just of what he is capable of doing. We both work, but we keep our money separate, so he has much more than i do. Feeling very trapped. Friend pressures me to leave, but I feel we may be better off staying for now. |
A healthy relationship consists of equality, trust, cooperation and communication. While it is normal for couples to disagree or argue a times this should not be part of every day life. Domestic violence often happens in three phases: The tension building phase (described by many survivors as "walking on egg shells") The explosion phase (where abusive behaviors occur) and The false honeymoon phase (where things may seem calm and affectionate again). It sounds like you are under constant pressure to keep the peace and avoid the explosion phase. I want to commend you for working so hard to keep this together; but also remind you that the behaviors you are seeing are not your fault. In a healthy relationship there is a partnership and both people work together, but it sounds like you are doing a lot of the work. Physical violence is also never part of a healthy relationship as love should never hurt us. The choice to stay or leave is yours to make and you should not feel pressured by anyone. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor to asses what your options are and develop a safety plan. WEAVE can help you with safety planning while you are in your relationship or after you have left as we know leaving can be a difficult decision. You can speak to a counselor on the phone anytime by calling our 24 Hour Support and Information Hotline at 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor in person by attending a free triage session. We offer triage at multiple locations on multiple days to meet your needs. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| I have been a victim of Domestic abuse for 15 yrs. My husband is mentally ill. We have been through alot. For the last 4-5 yrs we have been seeing a marriage counselor. Even thouth I would express to her my concerns, it was almost like she was enabling him. She wuld tell me that I need to stop and ask him "Is this rational thinking?" Like he's going to respond to that rationally. Anyway we are separated right now. I'm feeling guilt because I Love him and I feel selfish because our son is upset. My thoughts are mental illness or not how much is 1 person supposed to take? My other issue is now I'm back in school and having to write a research paper on domestic violence. It's supposed to be objective, formal not personal. I'm having a hard time narrowing down the issue I want to address and my research question. It's really difficult to write a paper you know alot about personally from a non-opinion based stand point. Any suggestions? | Living with abuse can be very emotionally challenging; even more so when other factors, like mental illness, are present. While feelings of guilt are normal it is important to remember the abuse was not your fault. Choosing to remove yourself from an abusive situation takes a lot of courage and it sounds like you have made the best choice for your well being. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about the separation and the feelings you are experiencing. It may also help you learn ways to cope with your situation so you may begin to heal. It is often difficult to be objective about a subject close to us, especially when we are still working through the emotions. You may find that speaking to a counselor will help to narrow down a topic that you are comfortable with. Phone counselors are available on WEAVE's Support and Information Line 24/7 and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor face to face by attending a free triage session at one of our locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| My sister is in domestic violence relationship with her boyfriend, I feel so helpless because everything seems worse for her now. How can I get help for her? She won't get some help and think he will change. it has been more a year. My sister have a beautiful daughter and her father just starting yell and slap her. I am scared if something happen to them. Thank you | It is never easy to watch a loved one suffer or be harmed. There are many reasons why someone may choose to stay in an abusive relationship. There are also many options and resources you may share with your sister as you support her. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor on our 24 hour support and information line by calling 916.920.2952. Our phone counselors can help you better understand the cycle of violence, help you find ways to talk to your sister about your concerns and give you options to share with her. If you feel that your sister's child is being harmed as part of the abuse it is important to know you can contact law enforcement or child protective services. Our phone counselors can also help you determine the best way to approach this situation. If you suspect child abuse you may contact the California Department of Social Services 800-422-4453 |
| I have a friend, my girlfriends best friend, who is trying to escape her relationship with the ex-con. She lives in his house and has a young daughter with him. Several times she has tried to leave him and he has threatened to kill her and the children. He knows where my girlfriend lives so she can't go there and he knows where the kids go to school. I suggested a safehouse but the kids still need to go to school. Do you have a program where you can take her away from the situation and somehow get his probation officer to keep him away from her? He is unpredictable and kind of crazy, especially when he drinks. | It sounds like your friend is in a very dangerous situation and I want to thank you for reaching out for help. Your friend may qualify for services at WEAVE's domestic violence Safehouse which also has a charter school the children may attend. She may also want to consider applying for a domestic violence restraining order to help further protect herself and the children. The first step to accessing this service is to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 and complete a phone screening. Our phone counselors will help your friend determine the best course of action and develop a safety plan. If at any time you feel your friend's life may be in danger we encourage you to call 9-1-1 for help. |
| I have been in a mentally and physically abusive relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year. This has turned my world upside down. He hit me so hard I now have seizures. I can no longer work at my job have had to move several times and will probably next lose my medical benefits unless I find another job. He always blames his violent outbursts on me. And most of the time I believe its my fault. I also have anger problems of my own and sometimes things get so intense I end up hitting back usually in self defense. I'm scared he's going to kill me. He's so manipulative and absolutely makes me feel like I'm living inside a tornado 2/7 I can't think I can't get things done for myself. I recently left and stayed with a relative. But he found me and this time was angery and trying to fore me to leave with him. I refused. I'm scared to file a restraining order because I know he will have to be served with the paperwork. I'm scared to death that he will kill me if I file. What can I do about this irrational fear I'm left with (edited for length) | Survivors of domestic violence face many obstacles, including fear, when trying to leave an abusive partner. There is no excuse for the abuse that you have already endured but there are many resources that may be able to help you leave safely. You may qualify for services at WEAVE including; temporary safe shelter, legal assistance, counseling and safety planning. The first step to accessing these services is to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. Our phone counselors can help you begin a safety plan and you may also complete a screening for placement in our Safehouse. The fear you are feeling is rational and we believe you when you say your life may be in danger. Speaking to a counselor may also help you begin to heal from the abuse. If you prefer to speak to a counselor in person you may attend a free triage session at one of our locations. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| do you guys have domestic violence classes? I have a cps case with services terminated and need to get help in continuing them on my own. |
WEAVE offers a variety of counseling programs that may help you meet your needs and goals. The first step to accessing our counseling services is to attend a free triage session, this is a one on one assessment with a counselor to determine how we can best meet your needs. We offer triage on multiple days and times to meet your needs. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| When my husband and I get frustrated with out kids, we lose our cool. We yell. It's probably not uncommon. But my husband doesn't just yell. Sometimes he will smack them in the head. Not enough to hurt them, really. Their feelings are hurt more. And he justifies it by saying "I barely touched him." he also will grab them by the arm and yank them to come with him. Again, not hard enough to do damage (although they do cry). When they cry, he responds "I barely touched you!" Last night he was angry at bedtime, and slammed their door so hard the mirror got knocked loose. No one was hurt. My question is...is wha he doing wrong? Should I be concerned about the behavior escalating? I know I raise my voice with my kids sometimes, but this feels different. What should I do? | It is always important to follow your instincts when you feel that a behavior is abnormal. Everyone expresses anger in a different way and it is normal to become frustrated as a parent; however there are healthy and unhealthy ways to act upon this frustration. Fear of physical retaliation is never part of a healthy relationship and it is good to recognize these red flags early. You and your husband may find it helpful to speak to a counselor (alone or together) to discuss the behaviors you are uncomfortable with and work on healthier ways to manage frustration. Phone counselors are available 24/7 on WEAVE’s Support and Information line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. WEAVE also offers community counseling, at sliding scale fees, where you can talk with a counselor in person. The first step to accessing this service is attending a free triage session which we offer on multiple days and times to meet your needs. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| I live in ca. and I need to see if someone can give me some advice to see how I can get someone to help my 21 year old daughter. She left to Texas and she is in an abuse relationship. (edited to remove identifying information) | It can be very difficult to see a loved one experiencing abuse, especially so when they live far away. Please know that help is available and that you do not have to face this alone. Counselors on our Support and Information line are available 24/7 to help and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. WEAVE is unique to the Sacramento Region, however the National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you find resources closer to your daughter. Their 24 Hour hotline can be reached by calling 800.621.4673. |
| I have been physically and emotionally abused for 29 years not knowing that there maybe help for me..I was offered a new home away from my husband who found out where I was going so I had to turn it down they have now suspended my bidding for housing... Although my children are 19 and 24 they still live with me because they think they need to stay with me because of the abuse, I donot want it to continue to rule their lives like mine..is there financial help for me if when I can I bid again for housing although my children are as old as they are, ones unemployed and one has a congenical condition...? I work p/t so my income is not great. Please can you advise me? | WEAVE knows that domestic violence hurts everyone and can have a lasting impact. You are doing the right thing by trying to break the cycle of violence and removing yourself and your children from the situation. Survivors can face many obstacles in their path to safety and WEAVE is here to help make this process easier for you. You may find it helpful to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. Our phone counselors will help you decide the best options for your family. You may also qualify for our domestic violence safehouse which offers shelter, case management and assistance with housing concerns. |
| If I need to go to your shelter to get away from my sons father bcuz he won't stop hurting me N I'm scared of him. I'm scared to be home alone. I don't want him to go to hail..I just want him to go away n leave us alone. Do you help people even if they aren't trying to put the abuser in jail? | Fear should never be part of any relationship and you are doing the right thing by seeking safety for yourself and your son. WEAVE knows that leaving an abusive relationship can be complicated and overwhelming, that is why we offer assistance to survivors whether charges are pressed or not. The abuse you have endured is not your fault and everyone deserves to feel safe. The first step to accessing WEAVE's Domestic Violence Safehouse is to call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 and complete a screening over the phone. A compassionate and non judgmental counselor will work with you to determine the best options to help you achieve safety. If at any time you feel that you are in danger we encourage you to call 9-1-1 for help. |
| I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 5 years now that is mostly emotionally abusive but has on occasion become physical as well. We have two young children (2 and 4) and I do not want them seeing our dysfunctional relationship and thinking it is normal. I am ready mentally to leave the relationship but need to know about getting him to move (the lease for our current home is in my name only) and about retaining ownership of our car. (The car was paid for with one of my tax refunds and is in my name bue he always says he is taking it when we get in an argument and will leave me and the kids stranded with no car). I am the only one with a job and we have childcare for the kids already when I am at work bu I need a car to be able to get to and from work especially so I can also drop off and pick up my kids from daycare. What are my options for making him leave without the car? | WEAVE understands that abuse can come in many forms and whether emotional or physical the abuse can have lasting effects. I want to commend you for recognizing the need to create a healthier situation for you and your children. Survivors may face many obstacles while seeking safety from abuse, but please know that you have options and resources. WEAVE offers free legal support to survivors including help with domestic violence restraining orders, court prep and child custody. Our legal advocates can help you determine the best options to end this relationship safely while meeting your goals. The first step to accessing our legal services is attending a triage session. We offer legal triage on multiple days and locations. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
|
This morning my partner hit me during
an arguement I phoned the police just
to get him to leave but because ive phoned them
they have to follow it up and he's now been
arrested why do I feel guilty for it when I no
it was the right thing to do |
You did the right thing to keep yourself safe. You are not responsible for his arrest - he would not have been arrested if he had not assaulted you. You are likely feeling a lot of emotions - including guilt - and all are normal. It is important that you not blame yourself for his actions (we know this can be tough). WEAVE is here to support you and help you find resources. You can call our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 anytime to talk with an advocate and learn more about what resources are available to you. This is not your fault and you deserve to be safe and happy. |
|
Is there a program to financially help women
who are in a domestic violence relationship who
wants to leave and/or have left the
relationship but are financially
struggling? |
While WEAVE does not provide direct financial support, we do offer a variety of supportive programs which are free to victims of domestic violence. Our Safehouse program offers temporary confidential shelter to victims and their children as well as case management and counseling during the stay. We also offer a legal program which can provide limited legal support in obtaining a Temporary Restraining Order, filing for dissolution, etc. To learn more about WEAVE's programs and other community resources, call our Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
|
This is difficult for me to write, even though
it is anonymous. In my teens and into young
adulthood [I am 23], a male member--whom I'd
like to keep anonymous--of my family was
emotionally and verbally abusive. Consequently,
and predictably, this was quite damaging to my
self-esteem and self-confidence (and trust in
men). It also has scarred me a bit with regards
to courting. I am afraid to court any gentleman
because I fear attracting someone who will
mistreat me the way my family member did. I did
get paperwork about recognising the signs of
abusive relationships vs. healthy
relationships, and I've saved those. But how
can I overcome this fear of men, so to speak,
since I know a lot of men are quite caring and
compassionate? |
When you have experienced abuse of any kind - verbal, emotional, spiritual, financial and/or physical - it is completely normal to feel those affects long after the abuse has stopped. Your concerns about trusting others in relationships is also normal. Because the damage from the abuse continues to affect you and cause you concern, you may wish to seek counseling to address it and heal from the impact. WEAVE provides counseling services for Sacramento (CA) area residents. If you live in the area and would like to learn more about our counseling services, you can begin by attending an in-person triage session with a counselor. You may also find it helpful to speak to counselor in person by attending a free triage session. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street, 95811) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, 95823) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. You may also contact our 24 hour Support & Information Line to gain support from a trained advocate - 916.920.2952. |
|
Hi, I'm not sure what I've been through (I
never was or saw this kind of situation), but I
always doubt of mental illness from my partner.
Making some researches over internet with
examples of my life with him, I found an
article with characteristics of a psychopath
and, unfortunately, most of 'em match with me,
such as, first, I feel I'm going crazy (that
I'm the one who's crazy instead of him and
that's something wrong with me or that I'm the
guilty), then, I'm always afraid of him (of me
talking, of me doing something, even while
explaining - which is a constant situation - of
me being misunderstood; I'm never heard, I'm
ignored), he changes drastically from the most
lovely to the repugnant, he has a really sad
and disturbed past (which I prefer not
mentioning); we also have experiences of mental
and physical violence and threatenings and ..
even more another things. Besides, I'm really
young (21, and he, 30). I am happy and such a
positive person, so I really wanted to not
think this about him or us and find a good
solution for our relantioship, but I'm really
worried, especially at the moment, because
we're planning to marry soon. I don't want to
talk about this with anybody else around me, so
I really hope you'd give me an answer.
Thanks. |
It is normal to feel like you are to blame in an abusive relationship. Abusers often manipulate to make their partner feel confused and at even "crazy". Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect - never violence. You may want to contact our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 to speak with an advocate who can support you and explain more about domestic violence. WEAVE also offers counseling and other supportive services - resources that may be very beneficial as you consider if being in a marriage with this person is healthy for you. |
|
how can i help myself and my mom from her
bf he is hitting her?? and he push me....he has
been scream and talking about us im so
scared |
If you believe you and/or your mom are in danger, call 911. WEAVE has a 24 hour Support & Information Line to support you - 916.920.2952. You can call this number to find out about supportive services like shelter and counseling. |
|
Do you know of any places that will help a
woman with a medium sized dog with food and
shelter to get away from two abusive men in her
life? |
WEAVE works with a local animal shelter which can board a dog for a domestic violence victim staying at the WEAVE Safehouse. The first step to finding out if the Safehouse is the right option for you is to contact the 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 - let them know you have a dog that will need to be boarded and ask for assistance. |
|
My sister is in a violent relationship. She
continues to tell me that she doesnt want to be
in the relationship but she always goes back.
is their any sort of mental help that weave can
provide to her. Maybe if somebody else outside
of the family was to give some words of advise
she may listen. She feels as if she has to
settle for the dumbest loser because nobody
else will ever want her. Sorry for the mean
words but i get upset because she is a smart,
nice, girl, who could have more going for her
if he would stop knocking her down. I wish that
she would get so help. |
It is incredibly hard to watch someone you love be abused. WEAVE offers a variety of services which your sister can access - when she is ready. WEAVE services include safe and confidential shelter, legal assistance, and therapeutic counseling. Abusers use power and control to make their victims feel "less than" and work to isolate them and it sounds like your sister has endured a lot of abuse which has affected her self-esteem. Please continue to be a support system for her - abuser count on family and friends getting frustrated to further isolate a victim. If she knows she has support, it will be easier for her to take the first steps. A resource you can give your sister is WEAVE's 24 hour Support Line - 916.920.2952. Advocates answer the line and can validate what she's experiencing, provide her with options, and link her to WEAVE services. The line is also available to you if you need to talk with someone about how to support your sister. |
| I went through domestic violence in 2004. am I entitled to get the photographs of myself back from the courts to help me move on in life and get people to believe in me in what he has done to me. there pictures of myself. is there a legal chanel i can go down to get these back. he is controlling other women that get in contact with me as i have his children and i was with him for 17 years and he intimidated me to get him off lightly which i did, which now i regert. but i want to stop women getting hurt by him and for his family to believe me what he can do and will do. | Surviving domestic violence can be a very challenging road, especially if there is still contact after you have escaped. Law enforcement collects pictures and other evidence as part of their investigation when a report is filed. The law enforcement agency you filed your initial report with may be able to help you and the first step to finding out is to contact them via phone. Healing from the trauma of domestic violence is a process with many stages. You may find it useful to speak to a counselor about the feelings you are experiencing and the best ways you can cope with those feelings. It is commendable to want to protect the other women he may be harming, but it is important to remember that your personal well being must be the priority. Counselors are available 24 Hours a day on our support and information line and can help you decide the next steps that are right for you. Counselors can be reached by calling 916.920.2952 |
|
I'm 19 and a college student. This is my last year living at home as I will be transferring to another college and staying there. I have 2 younger sisters; 14 and 6. My father is extremely violent, and abusive. He has not laid a hond on us however he has done so to my mother on multiple occasions. He is intimidating and all my life I have grown to be scared of him. My sisters have begged her to leave but she is too afraid. I don't know what to do. At this point I have come to believe my mother will never leave him because she still loves him after everything he has done. (edited for length) What I want to know is what can I do legally to save my sisters from this terrible home? I don't know if taking my sisters away from my parents would be a better choice than for them to live here. Perhaps you can lead me in the right direction. Thank you again and I hope to hear from anyone as soon as possible. |
First I want to commend you for reaching out and protecting your sisters. They are very lucky to have someone like you looking out for them. Domestic violence impacts every member of the family and can have very lasting effects. There are a number of reasons why your mom may not be able to leave as survivors often face many obstacles in doing so. There are resources who can help your mom and sisters to find safety and to begin healing from the trauma already endured. It is difficult to watch family members suffer but please know that you have many options that can help you achieve your safety goals. An important first step is to speak to a counselor about your situation and options. This process can also help you to develop a safety plan and learn ways to talk to your mom about you concerns. WEAVE's phone counselors are available 24 Hours a day on our Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. You may also find it helpful to speak to counselor in person by attending a free triage session. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. If at any time you feel that you, or your family, are in danger it is important to call 9-1-1 for immediate assistance. |
| My husband is drunkard and always doubts my virginityand always asks me to go out of the house. he always listens to his dad and will treat me as servant he needs only sex from me. I hv given him more by not going illegally now I am fed up? | It sounds like you are in a very unhealthy relationship with your husband and there is no excuse for being treated less than equal. WEAVE offers many services that may help you to fix the relationship or leave the relationship if you choose. Phone counselors are always available on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor in person at a free triage session. We offer legal triage at two different locations and on multiple days of the week. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| My husband hit me and I want to report it to the police, but I don't want him to find out, is that possible? | Many survivors fear that reporting abuse will upset their partner further or even cause more violence. Reporting can be a scary step but there are many safeguards you can utilize to maximize your protection throughout this process. You may wish to start by contacting your local law enforcement and sharing your concerns about reporting. This will allow you to determine your best options in terms of reporting. Depending on the situation you may also wish to apply for a domestic violence restraining order and put together a safety plan if you would like to leave the relationship. WEAVE offers free legal counseling as well as assistance with safety planning and the option of temporary shelter. You may contact a phone counselor on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. You may also speak to a counselor in person at a free triage session. We offer legal triage at two different locations and on multiple days of the week. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| Can my ex husband take my kids away from me (we have joint custody) my current boyfriend has a domestic violence charge against him in another state, which he is on probation for and he has a domestic violence charge with me (which I dropped the charges) we both had been drinking he tried to leave I didn't want him to and when I tried to stop him he pushed me, I was mad and called the cops...since then we both have quit drinking and he has went thru 26 weeks of domestic violence classes and he is a different person...i believe everyone deserves a second change...anyone can change. | Sharing child custody can be challenging and it is important to always keep the best interests and safety of the child in mind. It sounds as though you and your boyfriend are both trying to achieve a healthier relationship and a safer environment in your home. The court system takes many factors into account when deciding child custody including safety. Your ex husband may be worried for your child's safety and well being due to the past domestic violence. It is important to work together in deciding what is best for the child you share. You may find it helpful to speak to a counselor, either by phone or in person, to decide your best course of action. WEAVE's phone counselors can be reached anytime on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. We also offer free, in person, counseling triage sessions to help you better address your needs. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
|
How do I go about finding out if my sister needs
to escape a violent life, with a man who has kept
her from her family for years and years. She
has tried to contact some family and he has her
so brainwashed that she believes him. She
tried to contact me a few days ago but
couldn't get my number. When I called her
home, her husband wouldn't let me talk
to her and said that if I didn't speak to
him, I would never see my family again. He is again after 20 years tearing our family apart. I need to find out if she wants to leave hem. She desparately needs help. Will someone help me bring my sister home to live out her last years in peace. thank you for your help, I need to know how I can do this very carefully as to not get him upset. He also beat me up years ago and killed their cat and who knows what else. Thank you |
Seeing a loved one experience domestic violence can be a very difficult experience and WEAVE knows that violence hurts everyone involved. WEAVE believes that there are 5 types of domestic abuse: Physical, Emotional, Financial, Sexual and Spiritual. In a healthy relationship both partners should have the freedom to speak to family and make individual choices. It sounds like your sister is experiencing emotional abuse and being isolated from her family in her marriage. While WEAVE’s services are limited to the greater Sacramento Region, there may be domestic violence agencies near her that can help. You may wish to contact our friends at the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling their 24 hour support line 800-799-7233. For safety reasons WEAVE is not able to contact potential victims or family members by telephone. |
| What can I do with my belongings if I come with my baby and stay on the shelter to escape. Do I leave everything. | Survivors of domestic violence often face many obstacles as they seek safety including loss of personal belongings. WEAVE is here to help you with safety planning and help you decide the best options for your situation. Phone counselors are available on our Support and Information Line 24 Hours a day and are here to help you brainstorm ways to store or move your belongings safely. Phone counselors can also answer any questions you have about coming to the shelter and helpful steps you can take to prepare. Please call 916.920.2952 to speak to a counselor today. |
| After we both have been drinking my girlfriend attacked me while I was attempting to leave. While trying to get her off my back we hit heads and fell on the porch railing. As a result she received a lump on her forehead and a black eye, I received a mark crossed my neck. She then became enraged kicking and punching me repeatedly as I continued to try to leave. I called the police and was arrested when is all the marks on her face. How is that not self defense? | Law enforcement must use multiple factors when determinging the primary aggressor in a domestic violence response. This can include severity of injuries and evidence that an injury was the result of self-defense amongst many other factors. You can talk with your attorney about your options in demonstrating that an injury was caused by efforts to defend yourself. We hope you know that violence in any relationship is never healthy and drinking/drug use may contribute to violence but should not be used to minimize the violence. You may want to contact WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 to talk with an advocate about resources to help support you. |
| I have a dear friend who is a survivor of severe child abuse and addiction. She was also in an abusive marriage, and now has a physically/mentally abusive boyfriend. She has just started to ge counseling, and I am very hopeful her situation will improve. She does not have full custody of her children, and has had very negative interactions with CPS. Her 9 year old son, who has witnessed some of her abuse, is now starting to kick, hit and threaten her. He will scream "I'm going to kill you" over and over if she tries to correct him. Is there any help available for children, without going through CPS? She is afraid if she asks for help from CPS she will be seen at fault. Thanks for any imput. | It sounds like your friend is in need of support and assistance with her son’s behavior. Being a survivor of domestic violence and child abuse is a large burden to bear and it sounds like her 9 year old is beginning to model some abusive behaviors. WEAVE believes that abuse is a learned behavior and can therefore be unlearned with the right support and resources. Depending on her custody arrangement she may be able to seek help and counseling services if she is uncomfortable working with CPS. If there is a case currently open with CPS, or they are part of the custody arrangement then she may need to speak with them about options. It is important to remember that the goal of CPS is to act in the best interest of the child to better the situation. WEAVE offers sliding scale fee counseling services for children, however in order to see a child we must have the consent of all parties with custodial rights. It may be helpful for you, or your friend, to speak to a phone counselor on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line for guidance at 916.920.2952. You friend may also consider speaking with the counselor at her son’s school as they can also be a helpful resource and may be able to refer her to a support group for parents. |
| My sister and her ex-husband are court ordered to go to counseling for their son. They went recently,and he told her she needs to disappear, he said, "In fact you are going to disappear." What can she do? I am highly considered for her. They share 50/50 custody of their son. | It sounds like your family is involved in a very difficult situation with her ex-husband. It is important that she take his threats seriously and document any threats he has made. As a first step she may apply for a domestic violence restraining order or make a report of the threat to law enforcement. A domestic violence restraining order can help to protect your sister and her son. She may also want to consider putting together a safety plan and finding a safe place to stay. WEAVE can help her get started on the paperwork and she may qualify to stay at our domestic violence safehouse. You, or your sister, may call our 24 Hour Support and Information line at any time for assistance at 916.920.2952. She may also wish to speak to a counselor face to face by attending a free triage session. We offer triage at two locations and on several days of the week to best accommodate the schedules of our clients. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. Thank you for supporting your sister and looking out for her safety. |
|
hi my husband and i got into a fight and i went
to get a restraining order against him and the judge denied everything and i have a 10 month old son and im afraid for my safety and my sons safety and the officer that came to take the report said it was mutual aggression even thought i was defending my self |
Navigating the court system can be frustrating especially when we are already under stress due to domestic violence. Please know that you are not alone and you do have options. WEAVE offers survivors of domestic violence many services including counseling, confidential shelter and free legal assistance. You may find it helpful to speak with a legal advocate about your options by attending a free legal triage session. We offer triage at two different locations and on multiple days of the week. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
|
I have an employee of mine where her husband is
beating her. She has 3 chldren and nowhere
to go. She is tracked from Work and Back so
she cannot have anytime away from him. She
was injured today and sent to the hospital.
She is afraid to report him because she will be
kicked out in the street with nowhere to go.
I am willing to assist - but not sure how to
help this person. She has confided in me
what the situation is. We have though about taking up a collection to get her a place to stay - an apartment or something until she gets off her feet. Is there something else we can do. Can WEAVE help here at all. I dont want her thrown out in the street - I live 65 miles away so having her live with us is not an option (plus I am a supervisor) and it is against policy and get us both fired. She is employed Full Time and has income, but not enough saved to get away from the situation. What are your suggestions? |
Thank you for be concerned for your co-worker. So
many victims are completely isolated without any
support and your willingness to help find options
is critical to this woman. WEAVE operates a
confidential Safehouse program for victims of
domestic violence throughout the greater Sacramento
region. If she is willing and qualifies for the
program, she would have housing and many onsite
supportive services - including accessing safe
housing. The first step for your colleague would be
to call our 24 hour Support & Information Line
at 916.920.2952. She can talk with an advocate
about her situation and options. The advocate will
also talk with her about creating a safety plan and
can initiate the Safehouse intake process if this
is appropriate and what she wants to do. In
addition to the Safehouse program, WEAVE offers
counseling and legal assistance which may be of
interest although we recognize the challenges when
a victim is being monitored by an abuser on a
constant basis. We also wanted to extend
another service to you as her employer. WEAVE
provides a training aimed at supervisors and HR
professionals called "Silence Doesn't Work Here".
The training helps educate employers about what to
look for if they suspect domestic violence, how to
effectively support a victim, how to create
policies which support victims in the workplace and
advises HR professionals about legal protections
for victims in the workplace. We recognize the
timing of this training may be too sensitive right
now but want you to be aware it is available if you
are interested. The training can be requested by
calling WEAVE's Business Line at 916.448.2321and
asking to speak with the Prevention & Education
Lead who can schedule the presentation. Thank
you again for the support you are showing and your
efforts to help. Isolation is what keeps many
victims in a violent relationship and even just one
supportive person can be all that it takes to help
a victim take the next step. |
|
Hi i am 25 and had to move back in with my
parents to both help us financialy. Due to
my dad being laid off and my fiance being injured
at work. I really didnt want to move home
due to the verbal abuse I new I was going
to experiance again from my father. As to
make things worse about a month ago I called
the cops on my father for pushing me and my
fiance as a verbal assult escalted and we were tring to talk him down he was not to come back to the house for the night but my mother continuosly feels guilty cause he doesn't have any where to go allowing him to continue with his behavior. I'm not sure of my rights due to its not my house and its my father and my mother allows herself and us to be constantly verbaly assaulted. I worrie cause I am soon to deliver and not sure that I can just pick up and leave yet know I cannot bring my child into this let alone the effects that it may have already had on her. |
Family violence can be very stressful and no one deserves to be physically or verbally assaulted. Please know that you are not alone and you do have options. You may find it helpful to speak to a counselor about your situations and brainstorm solutions. This will also help you to discover what resources the community has to offer that may be able to help you through this difficult time. WEAVE’s counselors are available 24/7 on our Support and Information Line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also find it helpful to speak to a counselor in person by attending a free triage session here at WEAVE. We offer triage at two different locations and on multiple days of the week. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| my sister inlaw has learning difficluties and had her baby taken by social services. shes with the father still and she beats him for silly things like wanted a bath she has ocd so has baths 2-3 times a day. its getting bad lately she has been married for a year in march. he is a illegal citizen in the uk from tunisa. she is saying she wants a baby. what should I do i fell terrible for him. she has a bad reputation she cheats and sleeps around. help | It sounds like your family is in a difficult situation and is in need of support. It is important to support him and let him know that he does have options besides staying in the violent relationship. While WEAVE’s services are limited to the Greater Sacramento Region you may find it helpful to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources, support and options. Their 24 hour support line can be reached by calling 800-799-7233 |
| What if you have stay away order but he comes around. I am scared to tell him, to leave he tells me I would be taken care of if I cross him again. Please help | Dealing with a violent relationship can be very stressful and it is important to know you do have options and support. When it comes to a restraining order there can be serious consequences if the order is violated. It is important to document any threats and contact law enforcement anytime you feel you are in danger. You may also consider putting together a safety plan to help you protect yourself and leave quickly if needed. WEAVE’s counselors can help you with options either in person or over the phone. You may contact a counselor anytime by calling our 24 Hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. You may also wish to meet with a counselor in person for assistance and resources by attending a free legal triage session. We offer triage at two different locations and on multiple days of the week. Our Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers legal triage on Thursdays from 10am - 1pm and Wednesdays from 4pm -7pm. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite i) on Mondays from 4pm - 7pm. |
| im the noncustodial parent and my daughter has lived with me for 30 months. Her father was very controlling and verbally abusive and i signed a document stating that he can keep physical custody of her so that he would not have to ever pay child support. I signed so that he would let her ome live with me in Texas. He has not provided for her at all financially and threatend that he will come take her if i file for child support. The few times he calls he yells at her for not calling him although she just turned ten. A week ago she told her counselor that he would hold her under freezing water on a daily basis because he said she midbehaved and was a bad girl. She is scared and doesn't want to go to school because she thinks he will come get her. She is attending counseling and told the counseler she wants to leave the united states to be far from him. I dont know what to do. Do i report this to the police. Im scared that if he finds out my address and i confront him he will come and take her because he has legal custody. What do i do. I dont have money for an attorney and legal aid is not helping. I want my daughter to feel safe. I want to feel safe. He is a scary person when upset and is very difficult to talk to. He is now a pastor and said that no one would believe us anyways because she took so long to tell someone | Survivors of domestic violence face many obstacles both before and after leaving an abusive partner. Child custody can be especially challenging but it is important to know that you do have options. You can contact law enforcement, now matter how long ago the abuse happened. WEAVE knows, and so does law enforcement, that children aren't always able to tell us right away when something bad happens. It is important to protect her and believe her now that she has come forward. If he is hurting her, and punishing her in abusive way then the issue of legal custody can be readdressed by the courts. While WEAVE's services are limited to the greater Sacramento Area you may find it helpful to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources and support by calling 800.621.4673. You may also find it helpful to speak with your daughter's counselor for guidance and to determine your next steps. There are many resources to help you through this who will believe you and help you, and your daughter, to heal. |
| Are there any support groups for people who have recently left an abusive marriage? After over a decade of (mostly emotional, but some physical) abuse, I secretly moved out while he was away but feel really alone and abandonded by many of our mutual friends who don't know of his abuse and have given me the cold shoulder. He moved me 500 miles away from all of my family before he started the abuse, so - while I'm glad to be out - I feel isolated and would like to listen to or maybe talk with other people who are in or have been in a similar situation. | First, I want to commend you for having the courage to escape abuse and ask for help. Emotional and physical abuse are never part of a healthy relationship and WEAVE knows that survivors often need a support system to help them heal. WEAVE offers both group and individual counseling to accommodate the needs of survivors at every stage of the healing process. Attending a free triage session is the first step towards accessing our counseling services, and triage is offered as a walk in service on multiple days at two different locations. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. If you are outside of the Sacramento area you may wish to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to locate services in your area at 800.621.4673 |
| I do not have an issue with an ex boyfriend. My issue is with my sister. She has been so verbally abusive towards me. I was losing sleep because of it. I told her to never contact me again. My doctor does not want me to be under extra stress. Well, she emailed me and said horrible things to me. She never threatened me. She just said things that would make anyone feel worthless and horrible. I was so upset that I vomited after reading it. What can I do to make her leave me alone? Can I contact police or get a restraining order when she lives in nanometer state? We are both adults. I am pregnant and having complications, my doctor does not want me to be under stress. | Family violence, whether verbal or physical, can be very stressful and have a negative impact on our lives. There are several options you have including making a report to law enforcement or trying to obtain a restraining order. You may find it helpful to speak to a counselor about what your sister has done to you and review your options for moving forward. You can call WEAVE’s 24 Hour Support and Information Line anytime to speak with a counselor at 916.920.2952 |
|
I recently signed a warrant on my husband who i
have been separated from for a year for
threatening to kill me on my voicemail at work. I
left him after 15 years of a very rocky roller
coaster of physical, emotional, and financial
abuse. He is currently in jail and because of
unpaid traffic tickets he will not get out for
three weeks. He has never been in jail for more
than a night. The voicemails from my job were
erased after 7 days and now I feel i do not have
a case. He has threatened to take my children,
kill me, call child protective services, slander
me on facebook and to all of my friends and
relatives, etc. Leaving him has really been a
nightmare for me. He told me that he will find me
wherever I go. I am extremely scared and I don't
feel that my counselor, lawyer or police officers
know what type of danger I am in, and I have no
more evidence. I dread the day he gets out. I
don't know what to do. I feel I made a mistake
and put my life and my children's in greater
danger than ever. |
Reporting an abusive partner is a very big step, which can be scary and very emotional for a survivor. Please do not doubt yourself as you absolutely did the right thing for your safety and that of your children. It is important to document everything you remember from the voicemail or from any past instances of abuse. You may wish to contact law enforcement and ask if any of the officers heard the voicemail/threats, if so it will be mentioned in their reports which would validate the threats. WEAVE offers free legal assistance and you may attend a triage session with a legal advocate to assess your situation. WEAVE offers legal triage at two locations; our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. You may also speak to a phone counselor anytime by calling our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
|
my on and off boyfriend which is also the father
of my daughter and my unborn son is abusive
from time to time.. i dont agree and like it
and have tried to leave him so many times
but each time i do and he finds me at my
parents house he ends up making a scene at my
parents house which forces me to just go ahead and just do what he says and go with back with him. well i am 8 mos pregnant and i want to get out of this abusive relationship. the last time he hit me was a couple days ago and he pretty much was hitting me while i had was almost laying flat on the ground on my stomach and when my daughter woke up from the noise (she is only 19 mos) he backed off for a quick second but continued to hit me and bang my head on the wall which gave me 2 big lumps on my forehead and a small laceration on my head. i managed to get out of the house with the car keys and ran to the car and took off... i asked my friend to pick up the car and drop it back off to him so that he would not have a reason to come back and see me. i wish i should have called the cops and reported the incident but i am afraid he would retaliate since thats the type of person he is. he is gang affiliated and is known to be violent by people from the streets. i want to do something about it but i dont know where to start or what to do since i have 2 older children who are from a previous relationship that are currently living with my parents but i want to be with them and raise them but not while i am having this problem and fear from this guy |
Survivors of domestic violence can face many challenges that make leaving an abusive partner difficult. Please know that the abuse you have endured is not your fault and that you do have options. It is never too late to contact law enforcement if you feel that your life, or your children’s lives are in danger. You may also qualify for a domestic violence restraining order and temporary safe shelter. WEAVE offers many services including free legal assistance and can help you to create a safety plan as you take the next step to a life free of abuse. You may speak to a phone counselor, anytime, on our 24 Hour Support and Information line by calling 916.319.4907. You may also wish to speak to a counselor in person at a free triage session. WEAVE offers triage at two locations; WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| My husband hit my two times. One with baseball bat and his hands also few days ago he hit me with a chair the chair and bat left mark on my body I have pictures. I am very afraid because he said many times he will kill me and my family we have a little dog and he also says he will kill the puppy with the baseball bat. My husband never let me call for help. He always says he is sorry. He cried every time I try to leave him. I don't know what to do. I also lost the baby when he hit me with baseball bat. He is very aggressive and he is always screaming u made a few videos with iPhone too. | There is no excuse for the violence and loss that you have endured, and love should never hurt. Survivors of domestic violence often face many obstacles that make leaving an abuser difficult, including threats of violence. Although it may feel as though you do not have any options, you do have resources that can help you leave safely and you are not alone. Putting together a safety plan in an important first step, and you want to be sure and save any pictures, videos or written threats. You may also consider applying for a domestic violence restraining order to further ensure you are protected. WEAVE has many services that you can utilize including; temporary shelter, counseling and legal assistance. To access WEAVE’s services and understand your options please call our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 from a safe phone. If you feel that your life is in danger we urge you to call 9-1-1 right away for your safety. If you are unable to call for help you can come to WEAVE and meet with a counselor in person for a free triage assessment. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
| Hi do u have a helpline in india. I am living in my parents home with my child for last two years because of abusive husband and always demanding inlaws, he is not giving me divorce also and harassing me thru sms,s my child is juz 4 yrs n it is very tough for me to survive alone as i go to work also and he stays with my mom who is not very fir to keep child for whole day please suggest how i can come out of this harassment and can get divorce easily | While WEAVE’s services are limited to the greater Sacramento California region, there are domestic violence services available to you in India who may be able to help. I was able to find a center called the Domestic Violence Information Cell in India, with a helpline and website where you may also ask for advice and assistance. They may also be able to provide you with other local resources. Website: https://domesticviolences.com/home.php HOTLINE 98640-47886 |
| i need help NOW. (edited for content) has kicked my pregnant belly resulting in the lossof my innocent baby (edited for content) i fear for my life and is there a way to check out a large insurance policy on myself? (edited for content) I need to move quick but no money until !st and i fear that is too far away. PLEASE HELP, my life lieterally depends on it. If i don not leave anoher mess. (edited for content) | It sounds like you are in a dangerous situation and are in need of immediate help. If your life is in danger please call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of law enforcement for your safety. For resources, assistance and support you may contact our 24 Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. WEAVE also offers free legal services and you may also attend a free triage session for assistance. Legal triage is offered at our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. |
| My husband is at times violent..we have a 5 yr old son that he is crazy over. Hin the oast the abuse has consisted of verbal..physical abuse which included choking..rape..and threatsof murder. He has threatened me multiple times if i think of leaving him and taking his sone away..even when i assured him he could see him as often as he wants. I work but we live oaycheck to paycheck..i dont know where to turn to leave..i don't have enough money..i dont know what to do..any advice would be apreciated ..thank u..and god bless | It sounds like you are enduring many types of abuse and intimidation. Please know that you are not alone and there are multiple resources available to help you leave safely. A good first step is to work out a safety plan to make this process less stressful. You may also consider applying for a domestic violence restraining order, further protecting you and your son. WEAVE offers legal assistance, safety planning assistance and we also have a confidential domestic violence Safehouse you may qualify for. If you have a safe phone please call our 24 Hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 and a phone counselor will assist you. You may also attend a free triage session face to face with a counselor to assess your needs and provide you with resources and options. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. If you feel your life is in danger please call 9-1-1 immediately. |
| Are there services available for re-location? It appears there is a very large social group that likes to degrade people deliberately and some our in the "Legal Offices". They have hacked through my entire life, released very private information and I am "eaves dropped" on 24/7. They are on my phone line, computer, etc... and have no concept of what stop means and their information is not correct. This has been going on for over 15 years and I would prefer to locate to a different State. Any help appreciated? | Victim witness protection programs vary by state and are the source for relocation assistance. Here in California you may wish to contact the CalVCP helpline at 800.777.9229 with questions about relocation. You may also contact WEAVE’s 24 Hour Support and Information Line for additional referrals and support by calling 916.920.2952 |
| where can i go in south sacramento to get away from an abusive husband i am pregnant and dont want any more harm done to me n my unborn child i am scared and want a new life I cant deal with it no more? | Living with abuse can be very frightening and reaching out for help is an important first step. You are not alone and you do have options. WEAVE offers free counseling triage at our South Sacramento location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Monday's from 4pm-7pm. There you will be able to safely speak to a counselor about your situation and your options. They will also be able to provide you with information about our domestic violence safehouse. If you do reach a safe phone we can be reached anytime, 24 hours a day, at 916.920.2952. If you feel that your life, or that or your unborn child, is in danger please do not hesitate to call 9-1-1 for assistance. |
| que es uagrm | Lo siento mucho pero no entiendo su pregunta; por favor llame a nuestra línea de 24 horas de apoyo e información para hablar con alguien en Español. 916.920.2952 |
| I'm not sure if this is domestic violence or not. I found a recording device in my bedroom and my husband had been recording our arguments. When I confronted him we got into a huge fight. When I wouldn't let him off the hook, he threatened to kill himself. (edited for length and content) | It sounds like you are facing a very challenging and complex situation. You may find speaking to one of our phone counselors helpful in processing what has happened and brainstorming solutions. Please contact our 24 Hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 |
| hi i have had a argument with my ex partner he an i had words over a few things i ad gotten really upset an hit him as I've had alot of built up anger also but in the end he hit me an i now have a black eye an i want to lay charges but im worried that he can use this as a self defence?? can someone help with what i should do?? | Calling law enforcement to report that a crime occurred can be helpful in obtaining a restraining order and to be better protected in the future. You may find it useful to speak to a phone counselor on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line to help you determine what the best course of action will be. You may reach a counselor by calling 916.920.2952. |
| me an my three kids are in a dv shelter i have not been able to find a job and none of the houseing programs will help i am so very motivatied to work i really want to get my independece back but i am haveing a very hard time who could help me | Survivors of domestic violence face many obstacles while working towards independence and a violence free future. Please know that you are not alone and there are many resources available to help you. You may speak to a WEAVE phone counselor 24 Hours a day by calling our Support and Information Line 916.920.2952. Also, if you are outside of the Sacramento area, it may be helpful for you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources in your area at 800-799-7233 |
| If my husband is showing signs of increased anger, and he has hit me one time in the past, what are my rights in getting him out of the house before violence happens. | It sounds like you are experiencing the tension phase in the cycle of abuse, in this phase you will see increased anger, aggression and tension. If you fear that your husband will become physically violent it may be a good idea to put together a safety plan and apply for a domestic violence restraining order. You may find it useful to attend a free legal triage session here at WEAVE to learn more about your options. Legal triage is offered at our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. For additional information and referrals you may also contact our 24 Hour Support and Information Line by calling 916.920.2952. If at any time you feel unsafe we urge you to call 9-1-1 and utilize the services of your local law enforcement. |
| My threatened to punch me the other night and said that i eas in her face. She pushed me into her dresser and was glaring at me saying i was disrespectful to her. I had just gotten back fro a business trip and saw her walking the dogs on my way home. I stopped and said hello and saiid in a joking way.. "get over her and give me a kiss." She did and later said I don't know how to talk to a woman which led to the above confrontation. She is also texting a man she went to school with and is behind secretive about it. He's in another state and I have not confronted her about this yet. I'm not sure what to do as we have three kids..I love my wie and she continues to find fault in all that do. The only way she seems to come around is when I ignore her and the she seems to be interested in me. I know all of this sounds lame and I feel like I'm not manning up...I just donot know what to do? Please pray for me | Threats of physical violence and aggression are never part of a healthy relationship, and WEAVE recognizes that both men and women can experience domestic violence. Reaching out is an important and courageous first step for anyone, regardless of gender. It sounds like you are experiencing several types of domestic violence, none of which are your fault. You may find it beneficial to speak with a counselor about your relationship either individually or eventually as a couple. WEAVE offers free counseling triage at two locations. Triage is a one on one assessment with a counselor where you can discuss your relationship and learn about your options. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
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Can som one please help me? I was beaten almost to death and then held hostage for days. I eventually escaped and gto a hospital where detectves were called in. The couple were arrested and then release on bond. Every month for a year the case was postponed. Now they tried the case individually, first the woman and then the man. The women's charges were reduto a mistermeanor. and she requested a jury trial where then she was found not guilty. The man's charges were 3rd degree felony for strangulation. I have a brain injury and many other medical problems due to this. The courts ended up reducing his charges to a mistermeas well after a year of gettin supeaned and being tortured with trying to get help me too gets away with everything. When I talked to the state attorney he said he can do what ever he wants because he does not represent me. Please advise? They have excepted me for victim comp but have already taken that away before I can eve use it. |
Navigating the court system can be a very frustrating process. Please know you are not alone and WEAVE’s Legal Department may be able to help you with options. You may find it useful to attend a free legal triage session here at WEAVE to learn your rights and options. Legal triage is offered at our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. For additional information and referrals you may also contact our 24 Hour Support and Information Line by calling 916.920.2952 |
| A couple of days ago I was physically assaulted by a guy that I was considering dating. He stole money frim me and stole my cell phone at the time. It contained some personal information in it that I later found our he used. He also called my manager and told her liea to try to get me put out. He harrasses me at my moms house and leaves messages on her cell phone. He got these numbers out of my phone he stole. What can I do because I no longer feel safe at my home with my kids? | I’m sorry to hear what you and your family are experiencing as no one should ever feel unsafe in their own home. It is important to know that assault, theft and harassment are against the law and pressing charges may be a good first step in ensuring your safety and that of your children. Depending on the situation you may want to consider applying for a domestic violence restraining order. You may also find it useful to attend a free legal triage session here at WEAVE to learn your rights and options. Legal triage is offered at our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. If at any time you feel threatened or unsafe we urge you to contact law enforcement. |
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hi i am recently married and my husband yelled
and pushed around his sister but i didn't
think he would do it to me, it started with
just yelling and then pushing and choking
and throwing me around i want him to get help he is going to counceling but she doesnt know what goes on.. i dont want to leave him, im scared but i want to stay with him. ive tried everything crying only seems to egg him on if i get mad it doesnt help and if i dont say anything he gets more mad... i don't know what to do when is it time to do something about it? he always says sorry and buys me nice things but i just am lost... |
Love should never hurt and there is no excuse for the abuse that you have already endured. Physical and emotional violence can both be very frightening and can take a toll on us mentally. It sounds like your husband is violent with his family members as well as with your relationship, and that behavior is absolutely not your fault. It may be a good idea for you to talk with one of the counselors here at WEAVE about what you are experiencing, safety planning and the options that you have. Phone counselors are available on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also wish to speak to a counselor face to face by attending a free triage session at one of two locations. WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) offers triage on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is also available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. If you feel that your life is in danger we urge you to call 911 for your safety. |
| My baby mother is being abusive and aggressive what can I do | A healthy relationship should never include abuse or aggression. WEAVE knows that both women and men can experience domestic violence and having the courage to ask for help is an important first step. WEAVE offers services, including legal help, temporary shelter and counseling for victims of domestic violence. You may speak to a counselor over the phone, on our 24 Hour Support and Information Line by calling 916.920.2952. You may also wish to come in for a free legal triage session at one of two locations. This will help you better understand your rights and the choices you have moving forward. Legal triage is offered at our midtown location (1900 K Street) on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm and at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) on Mondays from 4pm – 7pm. If at any time you feel unsafe we urge you to call law enforcement for assistance. |
| I've left my husband yesterday with my 3 kids. He's saying he will call the cops and they will put an Amber alert out on me. I have never been in trouble and have no police record. What should I do? | It sounds like you and your family are in a very difficult situation. If you are leaving your husband due to domestic violence you may want to consider applying for a domestic violence restraining order. The order will not only increase your safety, but that of your children as well. You can also request for temporary custody of your children as part of the order. The family court house, located at 3341 Power Inn Road in Sacramento, holds restraining order workshops on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 8:45am. The workshop is located in the Self-Help Computer Room, #113A. No appointment is necessary, but it is wise to arrive early as space is limited. WEAVE’s 24 Hour Support and Information Line can also offer you additional resources and assistance with safety planning. Phone counselors can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. |
| I am disabled with brain cancer and my mother throw me on the ground i hit my head first then i beat her up. we both got domestic assult How do I pled not guilty in court and will she go to jail? | Physical violence from a family member can be very upsetting and traumatic. Everyone deserves to live in a place where they feel safe and secure. It will be up to the district attorney and the court system to decide whether or not anyone will be jailed over this incident. WEAVE’s 24 Hour Support and Information Line can help you discover your options and resources through the court system as well as options for counseling when you are ready. To reach a phone counselor today please call 916.920.2952. |
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My partner has been physically and verbally
abusing me for a while. This evening i
locked him out and when istupidly let him back in
to avoid the neighbours becoming aware he
pushed and pulled me. Grabved me punch the wall
past my face and i scratched his arm to get him
away/off me. I have no marks other than him
keeping my house&car keys from me for the
evening so i couldnt go anywhere. I have a 9
month old baby and he constantly twists things
to make it look like im not coping and im 'unravelling' i dont know what to do. We rent a property we have a 6 month lease on. He says things to undermine me and make think that perhaps im not coping. I dont know what to do as i feel noone will believe what is going on as especially he has sratch marks now on his arm. Please help me. |
First, I would like to commend you for reaching out. Asking for help is an important and courageous first step towards healing. There is never an excuse for abusive behavior in any relationship, and it sounds like you are enduring several forms of abuse from your partner. We all deserve to be treated with respect and supported by the ones we love. Please know that you do have options, you are not alone and we absolutely believe you. WEAVE offers many services for survivors of domestic violence including counseling, help with obtaining temporary restraining orders, temporary shelter and safety planning. Phone counselors are available 24/7 on our Support and Information Line and can be reached by calling 916.920.2952. You may also wish to attend a free legal triage session, and speak to an advocate about options to ensure your safety and the safety of your child. Legal Triage is offered at two locations: Thursdays from 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. at our midtown location (1900 K Street) and on Mondays from 4:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m. at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I). At the triage session we can provide you information on your next steps. If at any time you feel unsafe we do encourage you to call 911 and utilize the services of your local law enforcement. |
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Hi I live in California. My ex was arrested over a year ago for domestic violence. He had a cpo that kept him away from the house I have with my daughter. The charges were dropped and now he is saying he wants to stay in her room til he finds a place. We are both on the original lease, though it expired years ago. I don't want him here. What can I do? |
WEAVE’s Legal Department might be able to assist you, as you do have options in terms of your lease. Your civil protective order should still be in place, even if the district attorney did not pursue the charges against your ex. You may access our free legal services by attending a triage session on Thursdays from 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. at our midtown location (1900 K Street) and on Mondays from 4:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m. at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I). At the triage session we can review your case and provide you information on your next steps. For more information you may call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
|
My daughter and her 5 children just escaped
from a violent and abusive home. They are
living with me and my husband. They all need
counseling to deal |
It sounds like your daughter has taken the right steps so far to keep herself and your grandchildren safe. WEAVE offers counseling services to survivors of domestic violence and their children to assist with the healing process. WEAVE offers group and individual counseling for adults as well as individual counseling for children. To learn more you may contact our 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. Your daughter may also wish to stop by one of two locations during specific triage hours to speak with a counselor in person at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. Your daughter will want to attend the triage session alone and can discuss accessing services for the children at that time as well. |
| When I was 17 (13 years ago) I was in a really bad domestic abuse relationship. I was able to leave and slowly became the person I love today. However the last three/four weeks I have memories come back making difficult to sleep. I have turned back into the last person I was right after I left him. My kids can't touch me cause if the pain. Other people have noticed and have asked but I can't/wont tell them. I need some type of help | Memories of abuse can have very lasting effects for survivors and healing can often be a lifelong process. Sometimes an event or a stressful situation can cause a survivor to trigger, bringing back the painful memories of the past. Recognizing what is happening is an important first step toward overcoming this trigger. The feelings you are experiencing are normal and you do not have to face this alone. WEAVE’s counselors are available on the phone or in person to help you. You may contact a phone counselor 24 hours a day by calling 916.920.2952 or you may stop by one of two locations during specific triage hours to speak with a counselor in person at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
|
My ex won't stop calling me a bitch, jobless
loser, wishing me dead, telling me I am a
pathetic excuse for a mother etc... The list goes
on. I am getting to a point where I can not
emotionally handle it anymore and starting to think he is right. Is there any legal way to make him stop? |
Emotional abuse can have very negative effects for survivors and their children. Recognizing the abuse and understanding it is not your fault are important first steps. In terms of stopping your ex from continuing this abuse you do have options. WEAVE offers many resources for survivors of abuse including counseling, legal assistance and a 24 Hour Support and Information Line that can be reached anytime by calling 916.920.2952. To access WEAVE’s free legal services please attend our legal triage, which takes place on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm at our counseling center located at 1900 K Street in Downtown Sacramento. |
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My husband was not physically abusive, but he did things like not let me leave the house and accuse me of having the devil in me. He was horribly abusive emotionally. He died before I got up the courage to divorce him, and because of that I can't change my name (I don't want his name
anymore!) without paying the courts $430. I'm
on disability, in part because |
It is important to remember that not all forms of abuse require physical harm and that emotional abuse can have serious effects. WEAVE offers numerous services to survivors of domestic violence including counseling at sliding scale fees. It may be helpful to speak to someone about the emotions and the loss you have experienced. WEAVE also offers a 24/7 Information and Support Line that can refer you to legal services in the community as well as services designed to financially assist those on disability. You can reach a phone counselor anytime by calling 916.920.2952. |
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I've been with my kids father for 7 years and he has physically abused me in front of my kids. He threatened me earlier saying if i leave with the kids and he finds me, he will break my face and doesn't care if he goes to jail. He also threatened to take my kids away. Will the courts grant him custody even after he has abused and threatened me in front of my children? |
I am very sorry to hear that your children’s father is being physically abusive and making threats. It is important to know that you do have options and that you do not have to face this alone. An important first step is to create a safety plan by identifying escape routes from your home, important documents, important keys and a safe place to stay. Another important step is to file for a domestic violence restraining order. Phone counselors on WEAVE’s 24/7 Information and Support Line are available to assist you with safety planning and information about restraining orders. WEAVE’s Counseling Center, located at 1900 K Street in Midtown, can also provide you with free legal information at our Legal Triage on Thursdays from 10am – 1pm. If you are in a situation where you, or your children, are not safe we encourage you to call 911 and utilize the services of your local law enforcement. |
| What effects does verbal abuse have On your emotional being? |
Emotional abuse is never part of a healthy
relationship. Emotional abuse from an abusive
partner may cause the survivor one, or all, of the
following: low self-esteem, depression, anxiety,
and damage a person's sense of self-worth. WEAVE
believes that all forms of abuse have negative
repercussions to both survivors and their children
who are exposed to the abuse. To learn more please
consider speaking to a counselor on WEAVE's 24-hour
Support and Information Line by calling
916.920.2952. |
| Question Hi, i have been legally married since 96 ive been seperated for about 5 years, i was in such desperation to leave that home that i signed my rights over to him stating i didnt want anything from him do to fear, we have not yet been divorced but i am looking to do so, i got him arrested in 08 and retained a order of protection can i still get what is owed to me, like anuity, pension, asset, etc.? | Depending on the legal status of your current marriage you may be able still request the court to have your husband compensate you for what is legally yours. To do so, you will need to complete the dissolution of marriage process. If you are a resident of Sacramento County, WEAVE might be able to assist you through the process for free. To determine if we can assist you, please bring all your family law paperwork that you completed to a free Legal Triage that takes place on Thursdays from 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. at our midtown location (1900 K Street) and on Mondays from 4:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m. at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I). At the triage session we can review your case and provide you information on your next steps. |
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A family member's ex-boyfriend beat her up, broke
out the windows in her car, burned her house
down, and threatened her and her families
lives. She got away and he got caught and is
in jail. He is now going down on his third
strike. She has a daughter 18 with cerebral palsy
and a disabled young man of 18 also in her care. They are staying temporarily with family. They need housing, furniture, anything. Can WEAVE help them get into a home or apartment? |
WEAVE may provide services that can assist your family member, and also refer her to other agencies for additional services. In addition to the counseling services she might benefit from, WEAVE also has a program for our clients to assist them with low cost house-hold items though our WEAVE Thrift store. Please inform your family member that counselors are available to speak with her to provide her both with emotional support and resources at 916.920.2952. |
| how can i escape my abusive husband? he is emortionally verbally and mentally abusive im trapped he controls me and is manipulative he swears yells and blames me for everything i cant take it no more please help | There are many resources that can increase your safety if you are planning to leave an abusive partner. Please speak to one of our counselors on WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line to learn about all your resources at 916.920.2952. |
|
My husband was arrested for domestic violence.We
have been married for 26 years.we came to
usa 4years and have green card.I love him though
has been abusive ..we are from Pakistan where it is man's world.I have a 22year, 21, year sons. We all agree to bail him .After bail i understand he will live seperate but are there other responsibility my son will have to undergo and does he have to sign any other papers or bond. |
Because you have been a victim of a crime the District Attorney's Office has already gotten involved by pressing criminal charges against your husband. You may contact the Domestic Violence Prosecution Unit at 916.874.6171, and someone in their office should be able to answer for you, or direct you to someone who can. To gain information about other services available to you, and gain emotional support please consider calling WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.295. |
| I been with my husband 10yrs I didnt get to finish school didnt get to work no experience n anything he just throew me out and keep my boys because I have nothing and am nobodu what can I do can he just keep my boys like that im only nobody with nothing becausr of him | Survivors of domestic violence often face many obstacles that make leaving their abusive partner challenging. Though you may feel you do not have any options, and are stuck in a hopeless situation. You do have options, and you do have people to support you through the process. WEAVE provides many services that makes the process easier, and safer for the survivor when they choose to leave an abusive partner. To learn more about the services WEAVE offers, and get connected with additional resources here in Sacramento, please call our Information and Support Line at 916.920.2952, and take the next step to a life free of violence as countless others have done before you. |
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How do you leave when you have two young children, and he helps you with both? I work full-time at a very demanding job and I also go to school so he helps out with the kids so that I could get school work done. The younger one is 22-month old and she’s a totally handful. Daycare is also expensive. |
Survivors of domestic violence often face many obstacles that make leaving their abusive partner challenging. For some survivors the challenge is transportation, childcare, or employment, just to name a few. The good news is thanks to our community's support WEAVE provides many services that makes the process easier, and safer for the survivor when they choose to leave an abusive partner. To learn more about the services WEAVE offers, and get connected with additional resources here in Sacramento, please call our Information and Support Line at 916.920.2952, and take the next step to a life free of violence as countless others have done before you. |
| I was a victim of domestic violence 9/10/12, I have been advised by several friends/family that WEAVE might be able to help me with decision and guidance with the legal process as well the emotional stress I am experiencing??? please advise | WEAVE's Legal Department might be able to assist you with your family law matters if your case is here in Sacramento County. Our Legal Department provides limited services to assist survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault at no cost. Before coming to our Legal Triage at either our Mid-Town or south Sacramento location, you might want to speak to a counselor on our 24-Hour Information and Support Line at 916.920.2952 to confirm that our services are appropriate for you. Our counselors can provide you emotional support, and give you information about our counseling services too. Our free Legal Triage takes place on Thursdays from 10am-1pm at our midtown location (1900 K Street) and on Mondays from 4pm-7pm at our south location (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I) |
| Not sure what to do. Have been beaten twice in 20 years by my brother. This last time was over Labor Day Weekend where I was stuck in acar on the freeway with him and he kept beating me with his free hand/arm as he drove. I suffered a black eye and cuts and bruises to my face. I thought I was o.k. but a friend told me I should get support as I was terrorized for about an hour an a half. Where do I start? | WEAVE knows that family violence is not healthy component to a supportive and loving family. There are several options that you have including making a report to law enforcement or trying to obtain a domestic violence restraining order. You might find it helpful to talk to a counselor about what your brother did to you, and review your choices. WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line could be that support that you are seeking, our counselors can be reached at 916.920.2952 |
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Do you check the story of the victim because i know someone that says she's getting aid from your program who lives with her grandmother and I feel she is trying to hide from the law and her kids father who is seeking custody. My wife and I are concerned about the kids. We have to go get them have not called cps because dont want to put the kids through that again. (Question edited to remove identifying details) |
Your concern for the children in this situation is important and if you believe the children's welfare is in danger, contacting CPS is important to ensure their well-being can be protected. WEAVE's services are available to any victim of domestic violence or sexual assault. When anyone seeks WEAVE's services, we believe them and work with them to provide the needed support without questioning as most victims have experienced repeat situations where they were not believed. There is no income requirement for WEAVE services. WEAVE services include crisis intervention, therapeutic counseling, confidential shelter, and legal advocacy but do not include direct financial aid. WEAVE's staff and direct service volunteers are mandated reporters and report any suspected child abuse. |
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I don't know what to do, I was never taught to
air my dirty laundry. The verbal and
physical abuse, mostly happened behind closed
doors. 8 years ago, we were pregnant again.
I thought that another baby was going to bring us
closer, boy was I mistaken. He came home after
being at the bar. He looked at me and
told me to get rid of it, I told him No, that's
when he told me I wasn't going to have the baby
he hit me so hard I buckled, drop to my knees,
and cried. When he passed out, I moved us out. A
few months after leaving him, he cried, begged
and pleaded to give him another chance. He said
he changed and had stopped drinking, he told me
that wanted his family and that we were going to
buy a house and for my son and I to move back
home and that things were going to be better. It
changed for a little bit but not long after I
moved us back home he went right back to his old
ways," what my husband wants my husband gets", I
woke up about 1am, with what i could only
describe as my water breaking. I told him
something was wrong, He said call him if anything
went wrong and he fell right back asleep.
I had to drive myself to the emergency department all alone, cramping, scared and in pain. Not even ten minutes after getting to emergency department I was alone when I miscarried our baby.I called and told him,I lost'ed the baby. His response well I don't think I'm going to make it to the hospital, I will just meet you at your parents when I get off. He had went to work as if nothing ever happened.20 years of being with my first love, I had never expected it to be like this. Then when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the worst of all my fears came true, I found out he had been having an affair, come to find out it wasn't his first either..The verbal and physical abuse all the emotional damage I couldn't take it anymore. I got out a year and a half ago, he is still married to me but has been making it known to the public he is with someone else, but he mentions to me that Im lucky nothing has happened to me and warns me of things that will happen if I divorce him. Telling me I'm not getting anything,and that I better have a great lawyer because if I make it I'm going to need it. He has taken my name off of our vehicles and motorcycles, he says he care about our son but wont financially support him. He warns me about trying to take anything from him. Can I skip filing for legal separation and file for divorce. I don't even know how to file. But most of all I am frightened that if I put a restraining order on him he will retaliate and take my son. This is just a small portion of my life, so many fears what do I do first. |
Based on your experiences it is understandable that you are concerned for your safety, and you are taking serious your husband's threats. The process for a divorce in Sacramento County is relatively easy, and many couples complete the process without the assistance of a lawyer (WEAVE always suggests if you can afford an attorney you hire one as the services provided makes the process much easier). If you cannot afford an attorney you may choose to attend our free workshop that includes all the forms you will need to start the divorce process that is held the second Thursday of each month, from 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m., at our counseling center: 1900 "K" Street, Sacramento, 95811. A domestic violence restraining order in addition to increasing you safety, can include a court ordered child custody plan that your husband would need to follow until the divorce is finalized. To try to obtain a temporary domestic restraining order you will need to go to the Family Law Courthouse. To learn more about your options please call our 24-hour Support and Information Line at916.920.2952. |
| Im involved in a court trial that satrts in Oct. Im the victim of this crime and I am affarid to tell the truth. Ive been threatend by the man eho i once loved verry much. He has the pull to completely expose me n all my secrets. IF HES NOT OUT HERE THEN HIS 6DAUGHTERS ARE AND THEY HAVE ALWAYS CAUSED ME HELL. I want to tell the D. A. evertthing buy ive lied so much for him because im affarid of loosing my husband of 6montjs. please help me. | The court system may seem scary, intimidating, confusing, and even overwhelming at times for survivors of crimes. Luckily, through the District Attorney's Office there are Victim Advocates that provide an incredibly valuable service. They are able to provide emotional support, explain the process, and connect survivors with additional services. Though WEAVE can never predict the outcome of a trail (no one can), we always encourage survivors to always be truthful when speaking to the court system. To gain additional support please contact our 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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What do I do?? I was only helping him with a place to stay & he is abusive to me and an alcoholic. I have called police several times,They will do nothing! I am scared to go home. He is drunk & angy when I get there, I am afraid, I pay all the bills, it is my apartment!! I have no where to go. I work, and want to be left in peace. I feel frustrated, as if there is nothing I can do! Please help. |
To remain in the home safely you might consider obtaining a domestic violence restraining order. You may choose to either attend a free workshop that is held at the Family Law Courthouse three times a week, or by completing the paperwork on your own. If you are granted a temporary domestic violence restraining order it may order him not to have contact with you in any form, and to stay 100 yards away from you and your home. Another option for you might be to leave your home at stay at our Safehouse. To learn more about the different options you have, and to help decide what is best for you, please call the WEAVE's 24- Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. You have options, and WEAVE is here to help you though whatever process you choose. |
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have been with my husband for two years. I love him very much but I am so confused. The abused started off with tight hugs while I was pregnant then they advanced over the last year to choking and punching me. He has been arrested 3 times for hitting me. He has no problem with being violent in public he busted my window in front of my children school.
I am very successful and my family would
never expect anything. My heart is broken and I
never expected I would be in this situation. He
already has a no negative contact order
and shortly awaits his punishment for his
public violence. Its crazy because its
like he doesn't care when he gets mad if
someone calls the cops ...if he isn't in a
rage he is a sweet heart! I want ti keep my
family together and he says he does too. Now
that DCS is involved they say if he has one
more rage my kids are coming out the house. I
just want ti cry over and over again. We
recently moved to a new city were I don't know
anyone have been looking into child care
...Does anyone know were I can look and How
stupid do I seem. I am 32 and my mother would
be so disappointed in me. I am |
There is never an excuse for the abusive behavior you have already endured. Hopefully expressing your experiences with others will help your healing from the abuse, and allow you to focus on what you would like your future to look like for you and your children. To learn more about our services please consider either calling our 24- Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952, or stop by one of two locations during specific triage hours to speak with a counselor in person at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. In addition WEAVE's Support Line has referrals to childcare programs in Sacramento County. |
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I am a domestic violence survivor. I was
attacked my my husband in 2009. It was a
very brutal and traumatizing stabbing. I am
looking to grt involved with some sort of
support group, counciling, or even case
management program. I just moved her from another
state where I was working with a local agency. I
have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and
depression and im feeling a little isolated at
the moment. I just need some kind of
support services. Would WEAVE be able to help me? |
The services WEAVE offers to survivors of domestic violence are available for those still in an abusive relationship, thinking about leaving an abuser, planning to leave an abuser, or those like you that have left an abusive relationship. Our counseling services assist with the healing process. To learn more you may either call our 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952, or stop by one of two locations during specific triage hours to speak with a counselor in person at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
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Hi. Im living in a situation where i am being emotionally abused. I have already been diagnosed as depressed and this abuse, name calling belittlement only makes it worse. I cry everyday, feel worthless and i feel trapped. We are both on a lease until next june. Is there anything i can do as far as getting off of the lease? I dont know how much more i can take. Its affecting both me and my two children, ages 5&6.They are just as miserable as me, and dont want to live here either. My 6 year old daughter cries and locks herself in her room. Is there anything i can legally do to get off the lease for the sake of my kids and i mental health? Is there any programs that are available to me as far as housing? I just got a new job, temp to hire, making only $12.75 an hour. Please get back to me asap. I need to figure out my next move so i can get out of this situation. |
In California there is a lease termination law
which went into effect September 27, 2008, that
allows people who have a temporary restraining
order, emergency protective order, or a police
report to end their leases without owing additional
rent. The law applies to both private and
subsidized housing. To learn more about the law and
the process check
out:acfjc.org/files/AB2052.pdf. You might also find it beneficial to speak to a counselor at WEAVE's Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. We can give you details about the many services we offer and how to access them, and refer you to additional programs outside WEAVE. |
| Is there an organization similar to WEAVE in Alameda CA? | There are organizations like WEAVE throughout California that can provide you with resources and support if you are experiencing domestic violence. Please know that you are not alone. You have options and resources near you, like the Midway Shelter of Alameda which provides services and shelter. Their 24-hour Crisis Hotline is 866.292.9688. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800.621.HOPE (4673) to help locate other resources near you. If you find yourself in danger, we encourage you to consider calling 911 for your safety. |
| I have been in an unhealthy relationship for 8 years. My boyfriend talked me into leaving my home then bought me a home and evicted me from it. I now have lived with him for 8 months and he is evicting me from his home now. I am financially dependent on him because I have not family nor friend. My friends could not handle the break ups and the pain he caused me in the past, but I kept coming back. He is very wealthy and I am very poor, he controls me with money and threats of abandonment. I dont know what to do, I work part time but nothing that will keep me in the life style he has afforded me when he wasnt evicting me. I need counseling. I met him while divorcing physically abusive man. | WEAVE recognizes five types of abuse - physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and spiritual. The financial abuse you are experiencing in addition to the other types is difficult as housing is such a critical and basic need. You may benefit from talking with an advocate on our 24 hour Support & Information Line. They can provide you with emotional support and help you explore options if you choose to exit the relationship. The Support Line can be reached at 916.920.2952. |
| I am over 50 and married for over 30 years. Spouse has removed me from bank account and refuses to give me any money. How can I file for divorce, move my belongings and get a place to live. I am currently unemployed but looking. I need to leave before his abusive behavior escalates. He is verbally but not physically abusive. Can I take basic belongings like a bed and sofa or do I need to go to court to separate belongings. I’m afraid if I leave some stuff it will get sold before divorce. I cannot afford an attorney. Can I get a judge to force him to pay for my legal representation? Can I get temporary support order for food and shelter? What if he quits his job, how will I support myself? If I leave can he force me into foreclosure because I cannot afford the house payment and he may choose to stop paying it. How can I get housing if my credit got ruined because he stopped making a credit card payment which forced me into collections? | Leaving an abusive relationship can be daunting and you are wise to prepare in advance. You have a lot of questions and it may be beneficial for you to meet with an advocate. WEAVE offers walk-in Legal Triage appoints two times per week. Mondays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the WEAVE Wellness Center at 7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I, Sacramento, CA 95823 or on Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at 1900 K Street, Sacramento, CA 95811. The appointments are on a first come, first served basis. During the Legal Triage session, you can meet with a Legal Advocate and learn about your options. You can also contact WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at any time to receive support and get information about safe shelter and other resources for when you are ready to leave. The Support Line number is 916.920.2952. |
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I don't know where to begin. I have been with my husband for 7years and it seems like every day is worse than the last.. My husband is not physical but I fear he is emotionally destroying me! I can not talk to him with our him attacking me and when I try my hardest to tell him how I feel he turns it around and makes himself the one who is hurting. I have disconnected myself from friends and even my family. I often wonder if I am going crazy or if I am the one who hurts him the way he says I do. I recently became so angry that I tried to attack a family member. I hurt all the time, I cry and hide my tears because I do not want my children to see me sad. (they are my children he is there step father) I feel out of control and like there is never any hope or happiness around the corner waiting for me.. When we first got together things where fine we made great memories and I could see my self growing old with him. But over time I have witnessed him verbally bash his own children make fun of all our children as well as myself. I feel like I am never good enough or that its my fault he hates his job. I can not talk to him ever with out him screaming at me or using my insecurities to make me feel terrible. Everything is an attack on him, he actually thinks I makes plans to leave him or put money in our joint savings account so I can leave him. The only thing I hold onto for some kind of control is our finances, I manage the bills and our checking account. I sometimes find myself becoming irritated when he spends money, I know it sounds stupid but at the same time its really the only control I feel I have anymore. He makes accusations that I am cheating if I put on a dress, or is snotty at me for trying to look nice. Then when I go to the store in sweat pants he makes comments like " I am not going with you to the store looking like that" I feel like I am crazy and completely out of control. My family is worried about me all the time and because I think I still have some pride I refuse to listen. I'm scared of him, I have seen what he is capable of, from cutting his wrists and taking pills in a hotel after a huge fight to starving himself till his blood sugar was so low he actually head butted me and claims he doesn't remember.. I could go on and on.. I really just need to talk with someone and I am not really sure how to start. I really feel like what is happening to me may only be a big deal to me and I think that is the reason I have held it in for as long as I have.. |
It sounds like you are enduring several forms of abuse from your husband, and you are feeling the effects of his abusive behavior. There is never an excuse for abusive behavior, and we all deserve to be treated with respect. Hopefully expressing your experiences with others will help your healing from the abuse, and allow you to focus on what you would like your future to look like. WEAVE's counseling services can assist you in learning more about healthy relationships, and the options that you have to change the situation that you find yourself in at this time. To learn more please consider either calling our 24- hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952, or stop by one of two locations during specific triage hours to speak with a counselor in person at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street) on Tuesdays or Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. or Wednesdays between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Triage is available in the south area at the WEAVE Wellness Center (7600 Hospital Drive) on Mondays between 4 p.m and 7 p.m. |
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I recently left my husband. But how i had to
leave was just walk out due to the fact
that I was scared that I would be in a violent
situation like in the past. Well due to that he
took my children and refuse to give them back.
He has disenrolled my children out of school
making his whereabouts unknown. I just recently
found out by tracking the cell phone that he is
in pittsburg ca with my children. he does not
know that I know where they are. How can I
go I want them back before court.They belong with me. I work and he does not. he put them on welfare. and he has a criminal background of domestic violence |
There are two options to gain custody of children in Sacramento County. The first is to try to obtain a domestic violence restraining order. The order not only can increase your safety and that of your children, you can also request for temporary custody of your children. You will still need to go through the process of filing for dissolution of marriage/ legal separation at a later time, but the order will enforceable as soon as the temporary order is granted and your husband is served. The other choice is to file for dissolution of marriage/ legal separation. In addition to resolving property, debts, and assist issues, the process also develops a child custody plan for your family to follow. If either one of you choose not to follow the plan as ordered through the court (for example one of the parents will not return the children as scheduled), then law enforcement can be called to enforce the order. WEAVE has a Legal Department that might be able to assist you, and to learn about the process, and other resources you have please call WEAVE's Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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My Niece is in a situation where she feels
that she cannot say anything to anyone or
her boyfriend (father of her baby) will find out.
She sent a text out last night asking for
help but today when help came to her door she
turned them away without a word or eye contact.
For the past few weeks she has been dropping
hints like her physical address for just in case
she needs help. She has small children in the
home and I'm concerned she needs more help them
what her family can offer with this situation.
Any advice? |
It sounds like you and your family are in a very difficult situation. You want to help your niece, but at this time she is not taking advantage of your assistance. All survivors of domestic violence have the power to choose when and if they leave the abusive relationship. It may be upsetting to you that your niece is not making changes on your timeline. Family and friends can continue to express their concerns to your niece (when the boyfriend is not around), and let her know that there are resources available. If you are concerned for her immediate safety you can connect her local law enforcement and request that they conduct a "welfare check" when they go to her residence and make sure she is physically safe. Also, if you know of or suspect child abuse, you can make a report to Child Protective Services that also may make a visit to the family. Until your niece is safe you are welcome to speak to our counselors on our 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn more about the many services we offer so you can pass that knowledge along to your niece, and you can also get emotional support for yourself so you can continue to be a loving aunt for your niece. |
| is there a statute of limitations on reporting domestic violence? | Most crimes have a statute of limitations. It is best to contact the District Attorney's Office or local law enforcement to learn directly from the experts. Even if the criminal limitations have expired, you may have civil actions available to you. |
| I would like to donate/drop off clothing to a local office. I live in zip code 95765; please advise where I can do so, and obtain a receipt for my donation of womens clothing. Thank you. |
WEAVE accepts donations of clothing and small
housewares at our WEAVE Thrift Arden thrift store
at 2401 Arden Way. Donation hours are Sunday: Noon
to 3 pm Monday - Saturday: 10 am to 3 pm. All donors receive a receipt which meets IRS requirements for claiming a deductible donation at the time of the donation. |
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I am 18 years old and my father is verbally and
physically abusive to my mother, siblings,
and me. The smallest thing sends him into a
rampage. He blames every little thing on my
mom and then verbally abuses and threatens her,
then he proceeds to physically fight with her (my
mother does try to defend herself), I have to
pull him off of her and then he turns on me. He
breaks things, and basically destroys the house.
This has gone on for as long as I can remember
and it has happened more and more frequently as
time's gone on. My parents can't afford to get a
divorce, my mother does not work because she has
to take care of my 5 younger siblings. He
threatens her saying that if she does file for
divorce he will quit his job or kill himself so
he can't pay any child support. He knows there is nothing she can do to get herself and us away from him. Recently, he beat up my mom while I was not home and told her if I was home I would've also been beat. She will not get help because he told her that if anyone called the cops, he'd "make sure he got his moneys worth" and kill us before he was taken away. I want to call the police anyway, obviously I can call while he is at work and they will go get him, but if he is in jail or whatever I don't know what my family would do without his income. I feel like we have to choose between having absolutely nothing or to live with an abusive dad. Is there anything I can do? |
I want to first commend you for reaching out for help, not only for yourself, but for your mother and siblings. Though you and your family may rightly feel scared and trapped, there is assistance available to you and options that your family can choose from. WEAVE suggests that survivors of domestic violence take very seriously the threats of an abuser, and plan accordingly. WEAVE can assist with developing a person safety plan for your family if your mother chooses to leave your father. Often perpetrators make threats, such as not paying child support, but family law court and law enforcement can order otherwise. There is a fee to file for a divorce in Sacramento County, but the fees can be either reduced or even waived if requested. WEAVE conducts a free divorce/legal separation workshop once a month at our counseling center. There are also social service programs that your family may qualify for to help with both financial aid and housing. WEAVE also operates a Safehouse were families can stay that are leaving an abusive partner. To learn more about the many services available to your family through WEAVE, and other local service providers, please contact our Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. By learning about services available to your family, you will learn that you have many more choices than just the two of absolutely nothing at all, or living with an abusive father. You are not alone. |
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About 2 hours ago my husband was arrested for
domestic violence. Here is
the situation: My cousin was drinking and got extremely unstable and started punching and hitting my husband and left a few marks on me (a scratches and a bruise). After several attempts to get her to calm down (suggesting going to bed, attempting to give her water which she threw off the balcony) My husband took defensive action to subdue her. He called 911 after she kept being violent. The police came and arrested him for domestic assault because she was smaller than him and had marks on her. Just wondering how I should deal with this and what to expect in the next few days/weeks/months? I already took pictures of the marks she left on me while she was grabbing me. |
Law enforcement has a very challenging duty to ensure they keep our community safe. It is their job to collect information about a crime committed, and arrest a suspect if they find enough evidence. Law enforcement should have talked to everyone at the scene to determine the facts. Depending on the charges against your husband, he may be held for several days until he goes before a judge, he might be able to be bailed out of jail, or he might simply be released within a few hours. It will be up to the District Attorney's Office to decide if there is enough evidence to procede with a criminal case against your husband. To learn more about the process of your husband's specific case I would suggest speaking to both law enforcement and the District Attorney's Office directly. For both emotional support, and to receive referral numbers, please contact WEAVE's 24-Hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
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Hello, My husband and I have been split up for
about 3 months, he is in another state and
is threatening to come back here and physically
harm me because I will not reconcile with
him. What can I do? Can I get a protective order if he is out of state? We broke up because he is an alcoholic bully who messes around with other women, but he has never physically abused me. He has always made vague threats of violence, and since we split has been virtually stalking me, hacking into my email and social media accounts, calling and texting constantly until I had to get a blocking app to keep him from harrassing me, but has not taken physical action. Is there anything I can do to protect myself Before he escalates to that point? |
Yes you may be able to obtain a domestic violence restraining order even if your husband is in another state. You may choose to either attend a free workshop that is held at the Family Law Courthouse three times a week, or by completing the paperwork on your own. If you are granted a temporary domestic violence restraining order it may order him not to have any contact with you, in any form (i.e., email, phone calls, text, etc.), and to stay 100 yards away from you and your home. To utilize the benefits of the order you will need to have your husband served with a copy of the order. WEAVE's legal department can assist you by preparing you for the process of going to court to request that your temporary restraining order become permanent. I would also recommend starting a log of all harassing contact from your husband, and save all records of calls and texts too as that will be helpful evidence for the judge to see your need for the restraining order. To learn more about the process, please come to our counseling office during Legal Triage on Thursdays from 10:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m., or call the Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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One of my dearest friends is in a relationship where his girlfriend freaks out on him regularly. the last few times he has come over with huge scratches on his arms and feeling so low about himself. He is continuing to make excuses for her bad behavior towards him and refuses to break things off because he feels like she needs him and she will eventually change. The other night was the first night we all hung out and by the end of the night she was yelling at him and swinging her arms and it was then that I realized just how abusive she is to him not just physically but emotionally too. Can I help my friend? If so what do I do? I understand I might lose his friendship for a while but it would be worth it to see him not be abused. |
A common misconception is that men cannot be abused by women. Your friend is lucky that you recognize abusive behaviors and want to help him. Your friend has options when he is ready to take the next step. WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line (916.920.2952) is a resource for him and you. Trained advocates answer the line and provide support, resources and referrals. When your friend is ready, WEAVE can also assist him with options that are best for him including legal advocacy, counseling, etc. In the meantime, you can let him know you are concerned for his well-being and want to support him. Abusive partners often try to isolate their victims from friends and family - letting him know you are there to support him is critical. He may withdraw initially but knowing he has support will be critical when he is ready to end the relationship. |
| I am with my bf of 3 years and 3 children, my ex husband is the one who is violent and every time he finds us he harasses us and tries to hurt my bf. He just found out where we live and is making threats.Is there a shelter of some kind for families? We would like to move to a more secure apartment with maybe a gated entry or security but we are both working with limited incomes. | There are several options that you might select from to increase your safety and that of your family. One good resource is obtaining a domestic violence restraining order. Though the free workshop the Family Law Courthouse is not mandatory, most survivors find it helpful by attending it either Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, from 9:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. WEAVE's Safehouse is not designed for families, but our 24-Hour Information and Support Line counselors gave provide other resources at 916.920.2952. |
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What can I do not to have my husband go to jail but at the same time his very abusive. I just want to stay away from him and not leaving in the same place. |
There are several options that you have, and our 24-hour Support and Information Line (916.920.2952) can provide you the details so you can choose what is best for your safety. One option is to try to obtain a domestic violence restraining order that can remove him from your home, and in addition it will prevent him to have any contact with you (in-person, via text, email, etc.). Another choice is to see if you qualify for our Shelter services where survivors of domestic violence are able to temporarily stay in a confidential location while receiving supportive services. If you find yourself in danger, we encourage you to consider calling 911 for your safety, even if it means he may be arrested.
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| Can I file a petition to have my husband removed from our home? | The process to have someone removed from a residence depends on the details of the situation. If there is a history of domestic violence, you may qualify for a domestic violence restraining order that can order your husband to leave the home. In Sacramento County there is a workshop that assists survivors through the paperwork process. Another option that is takes more time is to go through the eviction process. Before starting either process it might be beneficial to contact WEAVE's Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to explore all your choices. |
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The father of my children (4 out 7) and I split up, but he doesn't want to leave the house. I was in this relationship for 7 years, finding out through others he was verbally abusive. I see it now - controlling too. But is this the same as domestic violence or am I being a "whimp" or "too weak" as he calls me? |
Domestic violence comes in many forms from an abusive partner. In your question you mentioned two of the five forms that abusers use. Sometimes it is a person's action, such as being physically abusive to control the survivor. Sometime it is a person's words they choose to use to make you feel less-than. In healthy relationship each person is supportive and nurturing of the other. You also mentioned that you have separated from him and he won't leave the house. You may have legal options to pursue to make this happen.To learn about the services WEAVE offers please contact our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
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I wish to get out of an abusive relationship and my biggest hurdle is becoming financially independent. I am an immigrant and have been out of the workforce for 13 years and need help getting back into the job market. How do I go about achieving this? |
WEAVE understands that survivors of domestic violence often have barriers to becoming financially independent after leaving an abusive partner. Luckily, there are several services WEAVE offers our clients to support them in their efforts, and we also refer clients to other local agencies that specialize in employment. To learn more about our services please contact the 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
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How do i know if im not just over reacting
about my relationship as far as hes a great dad
has always provided for his family and when hes
good to me he is but when i decided i was going
to say something about what i dont like then
thats when i get called names and get
pushed or choked or hit what |
By speaking to a counselor either in-person, or by calling WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952 you can further the process of deciding what is best for you and your child(ern) in your current relationship. We believe that there is no excuse for domestic violence, neither physical or verbal abuse. In healthy relationships partners do not hit, push, or strangle. In healthy relationships, words are not used to make the other person feel less-than. Because domestic violence is a learned behavior it is not a safe place for children to be exposed to. You may always love him. But you can choose to continue to love him while staying in the relationship, or continue to love him after choosing to leave for your safety and that of your child(ren). |
| I recently went back to work from maternity leave. My 4 month old daughter is being watched by her father while I'm at work. He lives with me for the most part. We would argue and he would physically abuse me, even when I was pregnant. He became more violent towards the third trimester of the pregnancy. It is still going on. Just an hour ago I was on the ground and he was stomping on my head as our daughter was crying on the couch. I've had enough, but I need him to care for daughter when I'm at work. I can't afford daycare and I have no family in the area to help me. I kept him around to help me. This is my first child. I need help to find the strength to let him go and just leave us alone. But a part of me says suck it up he's helping you raise your daughter. I used to be a very smart, driven, and independent woman...but now I feel helpless and stuck. I know I'm stupid for letting this go on for so long. | Please do not blame yourself for trying to make a relationship work - especially with an infant. You are in a tough situation and support is available to help you. A good first step would be to attend a WEAVE Triage session - a trained advocate can help you assess the level of danger in your relationship, prioritize your immediate needs, and provide you with resources. Triage hours at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street, Sacramento) are Tuesdays & Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and Wednesdays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Triage is also offered at our WEAVE Wellness Center in South Sacramento on Mondays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I). At the Triage session you will get more information about WEAVE's services - such as our Safehouse and possibly filing for a Temporary Restraining Order. |
| How do I get into the WEAVE Safehouse? | The WEAVE Safehouse program is for individuals and families requiring emergency shelter to escape a violent home. The first step to accessing the Safehouse is to call our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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Is there a way to find help for someone who has hit his wife. A mental issue is already presumed, but with professional help, medication and such. Is there a way to help someone who has hit their wife? |
If your friend wants to seek help there are several options available. If there is a mental health issue, he should see a medical professional to identify the condition(s) and obtain medication, if appropriate. There are numerous batterer's intervention programs available. WEAVE can provide referrals to these programs via its 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. We strongly encourage anyone seeking batterer's treatment to interview multiple programs and find one the best meets their needs. |
| I have a friend who has a 15 year old son that ask my help. She and her son is trying to get out of a controlling and verbally abusive husband. She doesn't know what to do at this time. She wants to get support or assistance from an organization who can help her out in their situation. She is very much concern with her son because he is caught up in a very emotionally abusive relationship. Please help. Thanks. | Please let your friend know that WEAVE has a 24-hour Support Line that can provide resources that can increase her safety and that of her 15 year old son. There are many options that our counselors will offer her, and then she can choose to start the planning process. WEAVE's Support Line is also always available for you too, the number is 916.920.2952. |
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My Fiance has never hit me or my 4 year old (from a previous marriage) but has punched a wall in anger. He says he has had thoughts of harming me when he's angry but left the house to cool down instead. I have never been afraid of him, but the last argument we were in he mentioned being angry at my child. I know when to let him leave and cool down, but I'm afraid my child may one day go to far. I guess I'm starting to not trust his outbursts. He has depression and was taking antidepressants but recently stopped against doctor's advice. I'm not sure how to approach this situation. |
In healthy relationships partners do not punch walls and make the other person feel concerned for their safety and that of their child. It is also concerning that your fiance has stopped taking medication against the advice of his doctor. Research shows that abusive partners are also abusive to children 50% of the time, so you concerns for your child is understandable. By speaking to a WEAVE counselor at our 24-hour Support line at 916.920.2952 you can discover the many different ways you can approach the situation with your fiance safely. |
| THIS IS THE SECOND TIME HAPPEN THAT HE HIT ME BUT SOME HOW I KEEP GIVING HIM EXCUSE FOR HIS ACTION I NEED HELP AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO | There is no excuse for domestic violence, even though you may have provided excuses in the past for your partner's abusive behavior. A pattern of abuse my escalate over time, so it is important to find out what resources are available for you. WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line can you provide you information at 916.920.2952. |
| Will I have to press charges against my abuser if I come to a WEAVE? | No. WEAVE believes that there are many benefits to reporting abusive behavior to law enforcement, but we strongly believes the decision to report or not can only be made by the survivor. Because each relationship and situation is so different, we believe that survivors make the decision to report or not based on what is right for them. WEAVE respects the decision to report, and we respect the decision not to report. We are here to support survivors, and assist them through the healing process though whatever path the choose to take. |
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Me and my boyfriend/sons father we use to argue all the time and get into physical altercations but we stopped for a while because his family put them selves in it and they ended up jumping me since then its been almost a year and hes starting to do it again but I ignor him so if he hits me I just call the cops but since he is the father of my son I feel theres no way out I need help. I dont know what to do. |
Calling law enforcement after being physically abused is just of many options that you have. WEAVE works closely with local law enforcement, and we believe they provide valuable resources that can increase the safety of survivors and their children. There are many other options that you have available. By calling to speak confidentially to one of counselors at our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952 we can provide you the information so you can choose what you would like to do next. |
| Where can I stay with my son to feel safe ? |
WEAVE offers a confidential Safehouse for survivors of domestic violence and their children. Children up to 18 years can stay with their parent. To learn more about the Safehouse program, start by calling WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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How can you tell if red flags your family has are red flags for you personally? (about relationships) |
It sounds like your family may have expressed concerns about your relationship or relationships in general. Red flags are actions or behaviors which can cause concerns. In unhealthy and/or abusive relationships, red flags do not only include physical acts such as grabbing, hitting, or preventing someone from leaving a car/room/area. They can also include a partner who is controlling, puts the other person down, threatens the other person, demands to know where the other person is all the time, or tries to prevents the other person from being with friends. These are all concerning behaviors and could indicate an unhealthy relationship that can become more abusive over time. If you are experiencing any of these behaviors, they should be a concern - healthy relationships are built on trust and respect and don't include abusive language or actions. You can talk to a trained advocate on WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line for more information. |
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My father is Bi-polar and goes into manic rages and he becomes extremely emotionally and now physically abusive. I long moved out of my parents house, so it's just him and my mom. The other night, he went into a manic rage and screamed and yelled at her and grabbed a knife saying he was going to kill himself (he has done this before). My mom tried to ignore him and go into the other room, which angered him more. He continued to scream and yell at her and then proceeded to choke her. After this happened she threatened to divorce and now he is on his best behavior. This is just repeat in the cycle of abuse. I'm at a loss on what to do. My mom has no money, has severe injuries. He claims because he is Bi-polar he has no control. He is not on his medicine I feel like I'm in a no-win situation. |
It sounds like you and your parents are in a very difficult situation. Each of your parents are responsible for only their own actions. When your father chooses not to take his medication that does not excuse his abusive behavior. Your family can call law enforcement if they are concerned that he will harm himself or others, and mental health providers may also become involved if authorities are called. You can inform your mother that she has options, and she can utilize them whenever she chooses to. Your mother may choose to stay in the relationship, or she may choose to leave, but it will be her choice to do what she believes is best for herself. As a daughter that is seeking support for a very volatile situation, please consider speaking to our counselors on WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line - 916.920.2952. |
| If my friend comes here for help will you guys get cps involved? | WEAVE provides services to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. WEAVE does not report to immigration officials or law enforcement. We believe that there are many benefits for survivors who choose to report to outside agencies, but we believe that each survivors has the ability to choose what is best for their situation. The only exceptions to reporting is when given enough information from a client WEAVE's counselors are mandated reporters for APS (Adult Proactive Services) and CPS (Child Proactive Services). We are always upfront about our legal obligations when it comes to the safety of the elderly and children so that clients can choose to utilize our services without feeling trapped or tricked. Your friend can call our 24 hour Support & Information Line to get more information anonymously - 916.920.2952. |
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My partner has what I think are anger issues.
She yells, cuts me down, and tells me I'm being
disrespectful whenever I try to speak out
against how she's talking to me. She got
physical with me one time by kicking me in the
chest, but has not been physical since then.
Last night, she got mad at me and poured water
and beer on me and broke some of my belongings.
I
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WEAVE believes that domestic violence can occur in different forms: physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and spiritual. When a partner's words or actions make us feel less-than, that is abusive behavior. In non-abusive relationships each person encourages, supports, and respects the other. Often we can recognize abusive behavior, but it is sometimes challenging to know what to do once we find ourselves in an abusive relationship. WEAVE's counselors can provide support and resources for you at our 24-hour Support Line - 916.920.2952. There is no excuse for domestic violence, and everyone deserves to be in relationships free from abuse. |
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I just turned 44 and have been married. For 17 yrs. My husband doesn't hit me what he does is cut me down verbally. His words hurt. He comlains about everything and I feel like nothing I do never is enough or can ever make him happy. It saddens me to know and to also hear from him calling me names. I say to him to stop speaking to me in such a negative way. He just says I look for it. I'm feeling depressed, defeated, drained, emotionally and psycologically. My question is, is this considered domestic violence? And what can I do. I feel trapped and need to get away and protect my two chilren from the same treatment that he inflickes upon me. |
Domestic violence comes in many different forms, and no form of abuse is party of a healthy and loving relationship. Verbal abuse is one form that abusers may use to make their partners fell less than, and mentally wear them down. No one form of abuse is better/worse, or less painful to the survivor than another. WEAVE's counselors are trained to provide emotional support to survivors, and help explore the many options survivors have to increase their safety and that of their children. To contact a counselor you may either call our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
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How to buy a house and not have it be in my name for privacy/security? |
If you are a survivor of domestic violence, you may qualify for the Safe at Home program which allows survivors to have their name supressed on documents which are available via public records search, etc. For more information, contact the 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
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what do u do when once emptyness consumes you. there is so much love in my heart. but it only spoils as i sit alone i see all these people treating there other half poorly . . . (edited for length & appropriateness for message board) |
Life and love can be wonderful, but also a dark and sad place. There are many ways to express feelings, and by doing so, allow us to move through the darker times in our lives. Sadness is one thing, depression is something else. If you are dealing with depression, then know that there is help available with professionals who specialize in the field. To continue the process of expressing you feelings and learning more about the options you have please consider contacting our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have been in a relationship for nearly 10 years that often "feels" abusive. He has never hit me but time and time again I feel as though I am being controlled and manipulated into doing his wishes. I am afraid of his anger. He has not worked in 5 years and I am the primary breadwinner, his lack of income has driven me so deep into debt I fear I will never recover. We are currently living in his mothers house and I feel like a caged bird. Everyday I tell myself I need to leave but I am so afraid that if I do he will kill me or himself (the one time we did separate he sent me pictures from his phone of him attempting to kill himself after stalking me at home for weeks on end). 50% of the time I feel like I am crazy, the other 50% I feel like I am being abused. My self esteem no longer exists, and the names he calls me when we fight grind my spirit down to nothing. Is this abuse? Or is he right in saying I am just over reacting and taking things too personal? I don't know where to turn or who to talk to. My friends are his friends and I feel so alone. How do I understand what the truth is amongst all the chaos? | In healthy relationships each partner supports, encourages, and treats the other with respect. In abusive relationships the abusive partner often makes the other person feel less-than, is not supportive, and does not treat the other person with respect. It sound like between 50% of the time you are feeling crazy, and 50% of the time you are feeling being abused, there is little time for a healthy relationship. You may feel alone, but WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line is available for you to explore with a counselor your feelings, gain empowerment, and discover the many options that you have. 916.920.2952. |
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I have my sister living with me trying to help her get back on her feet. But she continues to go back to the man who mentally and physically abuses her. I'm trying to her her but she doesn't seem to care. Doesn't save money just spends it on him. I don't know what to do. Please help me |
When those that we love make choices that we believe to be harmful, or even dangerous, it is difficult to stand by and watch. WEAVE believes that survivors of domestic violence are the only ones who can decided when and if they leave an abusive relationship. Making negative comments about her partner can cause a wedge between the two of you, so focusing on your sister rather than pointing our his faults is a good idea. Being her sister does allows you to voice your concerns about her safety. When you let her know you care about her, and you will always be there for her, those are supportive messages that you give your sister the notion that she is worthy. It may be difficult to set firm boundaries, and remain non-judgmental, but WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line can provide you a sounding board - 916.920.2952. |
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My boyfriend of nearlly 4 years tried to strangle me once after an agrument and i forgive him. Then a few months later he tried to stangle me 4 times in one night and held me in the room against my own will shouting abuse at me. hes very angry from before xmas. after getting him to leave my home he verbally abused me for a week he's called me some bad names then on monday took a turn around and has begged and pleaded for forgiveness saying this will never happy again. i do still love him but really dont know if i can be with him. i have a 9 year old son from a previous relationship. he is saying he will spend his whole life making it up to me i believe he is sorry but dont know if i believe he will not do it again. also i dunno if fear of being on my own is scarying me im 27. All i was wanting to have a baby at 30. my mum wants me as far away from him as possible. |
Abusive partners can change, but usually for lasting change to occur they need counseling themselves. Promises by themselves are usually intended to get the victim to do what the abuser wants - not about lasting change. Also, his violence has been extreme - strangulation is very violent and very serious and should not be taken lightly. Speaking with a domestic violence counselor would be a good step for you to explore your options and to better understand what affect the abuse is having on you and your 9 year old son. Having a non-biased support person, like one of our counselors to speak to, is often very helpful for survivors. You can start by calling WEAVE's 24 hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
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I HAVE a freind, he needs extreme help, I don't
know if you can help him, but on short I
will tell you a little about the
situation. He is gay - but he
should have rights too. His boyfriend
beats him up so bad, that one time he finally
hit |
WEAVE knows that domestic violence does not discriminate, and neither do we. It is estimated that the GLBTQ community experiences domestic violence at the same rate as straight couples. WEAVE provides services to both men and women who are survivors of domestic violence, and we can provide options for your friend to choose from to utilize to increase his safety. Please let your friend know that WEAVE is there for him too, and our counselors are available at our 24-hour Support Line - 916.920.2952. Our counselors can also provide you information on how you can continue to be a supportive friend and stay safe. |
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My question is for my daughter, she's married
to someone who is verbally abusive. She says he
hasn't physically touched her but he is very
controlling. Now he says if she leaves him she
can't take their child. He is the financial
provider for them. She can't visit us (her
family) because of him. Is there any kind of
paperwork to establish legal custody of
their |
Sometimes abusers threaten the victim that if they leave they will never see the child(ren) again. Even though those threats are scary, that is not they way our Family Law courts work. The way for a married couple to resolve custody issues is for one of them to file for a dissolution of marriage. The court will order a child custody plan, set up child support payments, and may even order spousal support depending on several factors. Once one person starts the process, the other party must be notified in person by being served the legal papers (this should not, and can not be done by the person requesting the dissolution of the marriage). WEAVE's Support Line can provide your daughter more details, and offer additional resources that we offer by calling 916.920.2952. |
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I have been married for 17 years. My husband was arrested 10 years ago for domestic violence. He has not hit me since has has always been verbally abusive and refuses to pay for our 16 year old daughter's needs. My daughter is slightly overweight. She chose a sport and he told her this evening that she can either go clothes shopping (which she needs desperately) or the sport but not both. He has over $10,000. I desperately want/need a divorce but I have no money for a lawyer so I can't leave. Please help. |
If an individual can afford to hire an attorney to represent them in family court it is preferable for many reason, but many couples go through the divorce process without attorneys. WEAVE offers a free class for survivors who reside in Sacramento County to assist them with the paperwork. We provide all the needed paperwork to start the process in a classroom setting, and then we offer individual follow up appointments throughout the divorce process. If you are interested our services, or would like to learn about other legal choices you have, please contact our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952 or attend a Legal Triage session on any Thursday between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. (first come, first served). |
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I have an adult daughter who suffers from
alcoholism and most recently has suffered brain
damage. She refuses medical treatment and on top
of all this, is in a domestic violence
relationship with a Schizophrenic man. He has
beaten her so many times, she has had black eyed,
broken nose, head fractures and he has been
arrested twice, only for the D.A. not even asking
if my daughter will press charges, they release
him. So in his mind - he has done nothing wrong. What can a mother do? |
As a mother we want our children to be happy
and safe. Sometimes, those that we love choose to
stay with their abuser despite our wishes. WEAVE
believes it is only the survivor that can choose
when, and how they end the abusive relationship.
You can always call law enforcement to make a
report of abuse when it occurs, but your daughter
will always have the choice to stay in the
relationship. WEAVE recommends that loved ones of
survivors try to focus on the needs of the survivor
(not just telling them how bad the abuser is),
letting them know they have options, and there are
professionals that can help when they are ready.
Until the day your daughter is ready to end the
relationship, I would suggest getting support for
yourself and learning more about resources for both
you and your daughter. WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line
counselors are available for both of you at
916.920.2952. |
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I need help how can I get into one of your shelters or assistance quick. |
WEAVE's Safehouse program provides confidential emergency shelter for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking who are in danger remaining in their current home. A telephone screening is the first step - call our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. The Support Line experiences a very high call volume during certain times of the day (8 - 10 am, noon to 3 pm) and you may experience a delay. WEAVE also offers walk in Triage services several times a week when you can meet with a trained advocate to complete a lethality assessment and determine your options (and initiate the Safehouse screening process). Triage hours at WEAVE's Midtown Counseling Center (1900 K Street, Sacramento) are Tuesdays & Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and Wednesdays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Triage is also offered at our WEAVE Wellness Center in South Sacramento on Mondays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. (7600 Hospital Drive, Suite I). |
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I have been struggling for a while to get
back on my feet after I was raped. I feel I might
be in a spot in my life to maybe go back to
school. I was wondering if there are programs or
scholarships, as I can not afford to really go
back to school, and don't think I will qualify
for financial aid. I have been on Permanent
Disability pretty much since it happened. I just
want to take back my life, and contribute to the
society, instead of therapist and psych doctor's
and hospitals all the time. |
We would suggest speaking to the college that
you would like to attend to find out what
scholarships or other financial aid programs you
may qualify for. By planning for your future and
continuing your education you can take more control
of your life. WEAVE believes that when survivors
become more empowered by having more choices, they
also take back the power that was taken away from a
sexual assault. WEAVE can assist with your healing
process with free individual counseling. To find
out more about counseling, call our 24 hour Support
Line at 916.920.2952. |
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My husband physically, verbally, & mentally abused me & since I've moved out he still finds a way to get through to me. My dad has cancer, whom I'm staying w, & he continues to reach him about me. I have a domestic violence case # that I never pressed charges on. I'm still married & need help filing in this county now that it has been 90 days. I want to get a restraining order & keep him away from my family. He's vindictive & I don't feel safe. Please advise. |
It sounds like your husband is still trying to control you through your family. WEAVE can offer serval resources. Our 24 hour Support & Information Line is always available if you need support. WEAVE also offers Legal Triage services on a walk-in basis on Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. (first come, first served). You can meet with a legal advocate who can help you assess your legal options and services; provide you with information about applying for the restraining order and preparing for the hearing. In Sacramento County there is no fee to request an order, to have the abuser served by law enforcement, and there are workshops held three times a week at the Family Law Courthouse on Power Inn Drive. WEAVE also assists survivors with the process of filing for a divorce or legal separation. Workshops are held at WEAVE, all the necessary paperwork is provided at no cost, and the workshops themselves are free. |
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I am leaving a very abusive marriage, I have an apt lined up and am moving very soon. I am worried I am leaving with nothing and my kids will have no bed and no clothes. I can not buy these items new but have very little money I have been setting aside secretly. I also need legal advice to end my marriage. Can you help with this or know a agency that can help me out. |
WEAVE offers walk-in Triage services where
you can meet with an advocate and discuss your
various needs. Since you have legal questions, we
recommend attending a Legal Triage session held on
Thursdays between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. (first come,
first served). Triage is provided at 1900 K Street.
During this meeting, we can also help connect you
with additional support for clothing and household
needs. WEAVE's Legal Department also offers free
workshops for survivors of domestic violence who
reside in Sacramento County. The Support Line can
give you additional information about these by
calling 916.920.2952. |
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I need to get out of a relationship. He is
verbally and mentally abusive. I tried being
understanding because we have gone through some
very stressful times together (we both were out
of work for a while so we lost our house...). But
we are now both working and are financially
stable but he is still really stressed and is
refusing to go to counseling. I am trying to
apply for rent but my credit is horrible. Would
your organization be able to help me find a safe
place to rent for me and my 3 kids. I do not want
to live in a shelter, I can afford to pay for
rent and I do not want to have to move around. I
want to be able to settle in a quiet community so
I can enroll my kids in school. |
WEAVE operates a Safehouse for survivors of
domestic violence who are in danger remaining in
their home. The Safehouse program provides
emergency shelter for up to 60 days. Our 24 Support
& Information Line can also provide referrals
to other community resources which may be of
benefit to you. Call 916.920.2952 to speak with a
trained advocate today. |
| Does leaving a violent situation mean I have to lose all of my belongings? | Understandably, survivors of abuse often are concerned about their belongings when leaving an abuser. Luckily, most belongings can be replaced, but a life can not. Your safety must always be the priority. If possible, gather critical items/documents in case you need to leave quickly. Who "owns" an item in the eyes of the law varies based on marital status and other factors. You can start the process of finding out your rights by speaking to our Support Line counselors at 916.920.2952. WEAVE also offers walk in Legal Triage on Thursdays from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. (first come, first served) - Legal Triage can assist you in determining what you can and can't take initially when exiting a relationship. |
| My daughter's husband was arrested for causing injury on her and child endangerment. How do you know if this is a one time occurrence or the beginning of a pattern of abuse? If alcohol is eliminated is it still domestic violence? Family members want her to divorce. She wants him to get alcohol rehabilitation and together get marriage counseling. . . (details edited to protect identities) | There is never an excuse for domestic violence and there is no way to know the future actions of an abuser. Though alcohol is sometimes apart of abusive relationship, it is never the reason for the abuse. We are all responsible for our actions, and being under the influence of drugs or alcohol does not resolve us from taking responsibility. As a mother who is concerned for the safety of her daughter you can gain the tools to offer her options and support your daughter's decisions by speaking to WEAVE's counselors at our Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Do you recommend counseling for married couples? For divorced couples trying to co-parent their children? What resources do you have for men who are victims of verbal abuse? | Counseling should be a safe and supportive place. When a relationship is abusive, the victim can not speak freely without fear and counseling is not productive. Individual counseling is a safer option when a marraige has become abusive/violent. Couples experiencing conflict without violence may benefit from couples counseling which is available at WEAVE. WEAVE's counselors assess the relationship and recommend a course of action which will be safe and productive for both partners. To learn more about our services, call our 24 hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a domestic violence restraining order in Sacramento county. It is set to expire this year. I want to renew but have now moved to Placer county. Do I apply for renewal in Sacramento or a new one in Placer? | You may be eligible to file for a renewal of the existing order in Sacramento County but would need to do before the current order expires. If you file in Placer County you will be filing a new order and would likely need to show additional threats or violence. WEAVE has volunteer attorneys who can assist with filing a renewal in Sacramento County. To learn more, call our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband is very angry and easily irritated. He has a hard time talking to me and I feel it is getting worse. He never hits me or is physical. He will however throw temper tantrums and hits things or slams things. What can I do to stop this? I feel he is holding me accountable for his emotions. | The only person that can stop your husband from being very angry and being easily irritated is your husband. Even if your husband has not physically touched you, if his behavior causes you concern for your safety, then his behavior is abusive and should not be part of loving relationship. WEAVE can ofter you resources that you can use to increase your safety, and focus on your physical and emotional well-being. To learn about the resources available to you, please contact one of our trained counselor at 916.920.2952. |
| i have charge on my u.s airmen first class boyfriend who treated me horrible and im afraid moving on isnt working and im battered by him and to my self and he deployed and left me for japan so how can i help my self ? | "Moving on" after an abusive person is absent can still be very emotionally challenging time. Even if the abuse has stopped, the effects of past abuse may take on many forms such as nightmares, panic attacks, and concerns for one's personal safety. The healing process has no specific timeline for survivors of domestic violence, but there is support available both over the phone and in-person that you might find helpful. To learn more about the services WEAVE offers, and to explore other options available to you, please contact WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I don't know what to do anymore. My sister invited me to stay with her after I graduated from college so I went to her place to find work. But after arriving things have gone bad. If I don't do exactly what she wants she becomes verbally abusive. On Saturday my sister got mad at me because I told my mom what has been going on and she told me I was lying, etc. When I tried to leave when she started screaming she blocked me from my car, grabbed me by my arms shaking me and then punched me in my face. She finally let me leave but I don't know what to do because those who saw it won't say anything or uphold anything I say. I am scared of her and don't have the money to leave. I don't know what to do anymore. | Verbal and physical violence from a family member can be very scary and upsetting. No one should be treated violently, and you deserve to live in a place you feel safe. By talking with one of our Support Line Counselors you can discover options that you have. One choice is to obtain a domestic violence restraining order that could make it so your sister could not have any contact with you (ie, she would need to stay 100 yards away, and she could not call/text you, etc.). The process of requesting a restraining order is free, and there is even a free workshops that can assist. Another choice might include you finding a safe place for you to live away from your sister, and we can give you information about various programs here in Sacramento that you might qualify for. To get more information please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a friend who is suicidal with complex ptsd and depression after 20 yrs of abuse by her father. She recently moved out of her parents' house but has no friends or support and can't handle living without some kind of help. What resources are there for a person like this - residential program, support group (something to do during the day), etc.? She lives in Sacramento. |
Your friend is fortunate to have such a supportive friend in you who is researching resources for an adult survivor of molestation. You may give your friend WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line so we can let her know of the resources here in Sacramento. It might be helpful for you too to talk with a counselor to find ways that you can continue to support your friend. WEAVE's 24-hour Support Line is 916.920.2952. |
| Where can I go if I leave home at nite | If you feel you are in danger and may need to leave your home, call 9-1-1. WEAVE operates a confidential Safehouse for victims of domestic violence. The first step to entering the Safehouse is to call our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. If law enforcement responds to a 9-1-1 call, they can also assist you in calling the Support Line and initiating the in-take process for the Safehouse. |
|
I have a friend who has been in a long
relationship which is VERY emotionally abusive.
To my knowledge there hasn't been any violence,
but he is VERY controlling. She has lost her
identity to some degree and her self esteem is
in the pit. She has considered leaving, but she
feels she is trapped financially and feels she
is doomed to live with this man forever. I am
looking for anyone who might be able to help
her. I have suggested talking with a counselor
even if she goes by herself. She is afraid of
the repercussion when she gets home. I know she
isn't strong enough to make the move now, but I
want to help her without pushing her. Just need
some guidance or avenues that I can suggest
when the conversation comes up. Until then I
remain her friend and hope our friendship will
help her gain strength. |
As her friend and part of her support network, you are doing the right thing. You are providing her with support and options while respecting that she needs to feel safe and ready to make any changes. A first step you may want to share our 24 hour Support & Information Line - 916.920.2952. This is a confidential call where your friend could speak with a trained advocate about what she is experiencing and her options. This is a first step where she can also learn about other supportive services such as counseling. |
| I used to live in Sacramento. I moved to southern california and I am in a very horrible abusive relationship. I am 2 months pregnant as well. I need help. Can I get help from you or do I need to take care of it down here. I also have family in sacramento, but I don't want to put them in danger. | It is good you reached out as your situation sounds very serious. If you are in danger, call 9-1-1. WEAVE provides services in Sacramento County. There are organizations like WEAVE throughout California and there will be one near you that can provide you with local resources. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to locate services near you - 800.621.HOPE (4673). You can also begin to create a safety plan for you and your baby - keep important documents like driver's license/ID, birth certificate, etc. accessible so that you can take them if you must leave in a hurry. Also make a list of important phone number, accounts, etc. that you can access from anywhere (i.e. email them to yourself at an private email address). |
| im currently in the process of a custody battle with my sons father. my son is now 6 months and since day one his father and I have come to a mutual agreement of the days and hours he can see his son and take him. my question is until the day of court can i decide to not give him any further visitation rights due to emotional and mental abuse? | You are not alone. You do not deserve to be abused in any way. To receive legal assistance, you can call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905. Please allow at least 3 days for a returned call from WEAVE’s Legal Department. You can also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for services offered, resources and referrals, and support. We know the support and information line can get busy during certain times of day. If possible, call after 4:00 PM and please try to be patient with us. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| CATEGORY - OTHER: Why is it that I sometimes try to kill myself, I feel very tranquil? I cannot wait for death to come. However. when I awake the next morning, I go on like nothing happened. My family is very oblivious to most things, so that could be a reason...But I am usually filled with control and normality the following day. Why is this? Why am I so calm about death and life? | Whenever there are thoughts about suicide, it would be beneficial for you share this information with an individual trained to deal with self-harm issues. They can offer support and information. Everyone’s situation is different, so be aware of labeling yourself as “sick”. You may contact the Suicide Hotline at (916) 368-3111 so you can just talk to someone about how you are feeling. Remember, you are not alone. |
| How can I legally change my 4 month olds last name to mine due to a domestic violence that happen with the guy that I had given her his last name? Need know he is not the father and never signed the birth certificate. I also need to know about how much this will cost me? I live in Ogden Utah. | In order for you to access accurate information, it would be best to contact a legal source regarding the process necessary to change your child’s name. You may contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support and legal referrals in your area. You may also call WEAVE’s Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
| How to i get into your program? asap | Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| I have been wanting to leave my abusive husband for nearly 2 years but I live in a rural area and cannot find anyone to help me move out. How do other women in rural areas manage this problem? | Living in a rural area may be challenging in getting direct support regarding your situation but there are some options open to you. You may contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to talk to a counselor that can provide support and give you information about domestic violence agencies in a city near you. They will also be able to discuss safety planning. If you choose, you may also contact our 24-hour Support Line at 916.920.2952 for the same information and support. |
| what are some information about intimidation? | Thank you for reaching out. You can learn about the types of violence on our website here. If you or someone you know is experience any of the various types of violence, please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn about options, services, and to receive support. |
| What can I do for my daughter? My adult daughter is 32. She and her b/f drink heavily and this lead to fighting. They have both been in jail for d/v but released before court date. I have seen my daughter beaten worse than any boxer. She always goes back. Recently she was in the ER and it was explained that she colapsed in Walmart. Even the doctors did not believe her injuries were in line with her fall. She fractured her basil bone, brain swelling, etc. She left the hospital that night. She now has more injuries and her B/f explains she falls alot. she won't go to the dr and she won't go back to ER. I don't want her to die. What can I do as a mother? | Thank you for reaching out. We are here to help. It sounds like you are in a challenging situation. We know it is extremely hard to watch someone you love be treated this way. The best way to support your daughter is by letting her know that you are there for her, as it sounds like you have. You can also provide her with information and resources, such as WEAVE; however, she must be willing to seek help on her own. In order to receive further support and resources for both you and your family, please call our confidential, 24-Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 Trained advocates are available 24-hours a day, 7 days a week and can provide you with emotional support, information about WEAVE programs and referrals, and assist you (or your daughter) with developing a safety plan. We know the support and information line can get busy during certain times of day. If possible, call after 4:00 PM and please be patient with us. You, or your daughter, may also come in for a free walk-in Triage Assessment Tuesday and Thursday from 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM and Wednesday from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Triage allows you to meet with a trained WEAVE advocate to discuss your options, services you might benefit from, a safety plan, and additional resources. WEAVE services include Legal Assistance and Advocacy, Counseling Services, support groups and more. If you ever feel you or your family might be in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. |
| I don't have insurance but I believe I need some type of therapy or a counselor. I have been out of my emotionally abusive relationship for about 9 months and I feel as if I am having an emotional break down. I repeat the things I went through in my head.... over and over, I hate this feeling.. I dealt with his emotional and physical abuse. I've moved since and he doesn't know where I live now. I don't feel unsafe. Just need to talk to someone about the things he did to me! Is there help for me through your services? | There is help. You are not alone. WEAVE offers a variety of supportive services, such as counseling and support groups on a sliding scale. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| I am reaching out for help from WEAVE resources. I have been in contact with your main number and keep getting referred to an answering machine. I am a victim of domestic, verbal and emotional violence with a ex boyfriend of mine also the son of my 7 month old. Last week after I have gave him a chance to have a supervised visit with his son he made a scene and was yelling and making threats to take my child from his home and when I told him to leave he went to hit me in front of my 17 year old son from a previous relationship he witnessed everything and is now scared that something will happen to me or his little brother. I have filed a police report on his acts. We have a court date set for March 27th for child support and now he is fighting for custody. I do not trust him with the baby at all unsupervised do to lack of parenting and the scene and violence he has expressed in front of me as well as my son’s. Long story short I could really use some help and some possible resources to help me with this process or some guidance on what to do? | Any type of threatening and uninvited behavior is unacceptable. You should not have to live in fear. You may want to consider a restraining order. WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order Workshops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the William Ridgeway Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. This workshop will assist you with filing for a restraining order. You can also call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905 for legal assistance. Please allow at least 3 days for a returned call from WEAVE’s Legal Department. We know the support and information line can get busy during certain times of day. If possible, call after 4:00 PM and please try to be patient with us. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| Posting of Personal Information on the Message Board | WEAVE cannot reply to questions which include names, telephone numbers or other identifying information. For the concerned person who posted the request including their cell phone number, please call WEAVE's 24 Hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
| I am in a mostly emotionally abusive, bullying and controlling relationship. Occasionally the relationship gets physically abusive, like this evening. I am a stay at home mom with 4 children and my spouse is a family law attorney. He says that I instigate the physical abuse. It doesn't look like he is willing to seek help. I need to get back in the work force and on my feet. But first I need to regain some self-esteem and confidence. But I have no material resources. He controls all of the money through his office. What can WEAVE do for me? | It can be extremely exhausting to live in an abusive environment. Please remember that you are not alone and you have options. WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE offers a variety of services, many of which are either free or on a sliding scale. You can call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn more about services offered, resources and referrals, and receive emotional support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| I'm in an domestic violence relationship of 4 yrs..how do i get out of it? | Thank you for reaching out - that is the first step! Please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn about options, services, and to receive support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| Is there a organization that will help get a abused women out, and away from the harmful situation? | WEAVE offers supportive services, such as counseling, support groups, and even a confidential Safehouse. There are also domestic violence agencies similar to WEAVE all over California. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for resources in your area. |
| I am trapped in a marriage with 3 children all girls. My husband’s anger has gotten worse and worse to the point of pushing. It hasn't led to more than that. He has at times slapped my kids but never leaves marks I am worried things will get worse. He is in total denial. I have a business and if I leave I will have NO INCOME AND NO JOB. I have no clue where to turn. For years there has been emotional abuse to the point of secluding me from my family and controlling where I go. I even have time limits on how long I should grocery shop. For years I thought this is normal but I am seeing this is not. He knows he has me trapped and threatens to take my kids is I leave. I filled out divorce papers online but I have no way of filing and if he knew I did and we are still living together would heighten the situation. So I do not know how you can help me or if you can being I am not being physically abused? | You are not alone and you should not have to live in fear. WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for you. WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line can provide you with emotional support and assist you with referrals and service information. The Support and Information Line number is 916.920.2952. WEAVE also provides counseling services and legal services that may assist you during this difficult time. |
| what is the 1st coarse of action when dealing with domestic violence when it deals with the male partner, the abuser being married only for papers, and is threatening of life? | Each situation is different. Please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 to learn about options, services, and to recieve support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. |
| I just found out that my grandson is beating his girlfriend up. How can I help her without him knowing? She doesn't know that I know yet. They have two children together, a baby girl 5 months and a little boy 5 years old. | It sounds like you are in a challenging situation. We know it is extremely hard to watch someone you love be treated this way. The best way to support your grandson's girlfriend is to let her know that you support her. However, she must be willing to seek help. In order to receive further support and resources for both you, and your grandson's girlfriend, please call our confidential, 24-Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
| I have a cousin who was just beat up by her husband. She got a temporary restraining order, but it expired and the permanent one does not take effect until tomorrow. As such, he has come to their home and is refusing to leave. He is threatening her and has cut off her resources so she can't leave. Without resources, she was not able to get an attorney (her credit card was denied when she tried). He has taken the children and is refusing to let her see them. She lives in San Jose and I told her to call WEAVE. Evidently, there is no WEAVE in her area. Do you know of anything like WEAVE in the San Jose area? | WEAVE does not have an center in San Jose; however, there are domestic violence agencies similar to WEAVE all over California. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for resources in your area. |
| My sister in law is being verbally and physiologically abused by my brother. She wants to end this situation, it has been almost three years, but she is afraid that my brother will react violently. Please how can she be help or how can I help her? | We are very sorry to hear of your sister-in-law’s situation. We know it is extremely hard to watch someone you love be treated this way. The best way to support your sister-in-law is to let her know that you support and care for her. You can provide her with resources, but she must make the decision to seek help on her own. In order to receive further support and referrals for both yourself and your sister-in-law, please call our confidential, 24-Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
|
Hello, I am a survivor who has no outside
connections that can assist me with practicing driving. I have a permit, but only limited funds for about 2 lessons with instructors. I need to get a licence so that I can improve the quality of life for my toddler and myself. I was wondering if there are any resources for this? Thank You for everything that you do. |
It sounds like you are in a challenging situation. There are various resources available in the community. 2-1-1 Sacramento is helpful referral service, which may be able to help. You can also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for support, resources, and access to services. |
| My daughter & 3 grandkids moved from the Sac area to Texas to live with her boyfriend (father of her youngest) who has turned out to be a control freak and is constantly putting her down he is getting worse daily! She wants out so her brother & I are going to fly to TX & help them come back next week. She is scared to stay with me and I'm nervous about it also, since he knows where I live, will likely be furious and could come to my house. She wants me to see if she can stay at a shelter and hide from him. She can't make calls because he monitors all she does, so I told her I would ask. He is also an illegal immigrant, so he does not have any rights to custody, etc is this correct? | Thank you for reaching out. There are options available to your daughter. WEAVE is here to help. It sounds like WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for her. To discuss options and resources and develop a safety plan, please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have filed for divorce from my husband before, and he just "hounds" me, follows me around, threatens the kids, threatens everything until I withdraw the claim, How can I deal with this until a court date is available the pressure is absoultely horrible. | You should not have to live in fear. You may want to consider a restraining order. WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order Workshops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the William Ridgeway Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. This workshop will assist you with filing for a restraining order. Make sure you are also documenting and keeping a log of incidents, in as much detail as possible. If you have additional questions or need emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 9-1-1. |
| Im a 19 year old living with my parents and brother. My brother is a 13 year old whos bigger than i am in height and width.. he easily angers and he kicks,punches,shoves me and calls me awful things like the B word, H word and so much more. my parents have told him to stop and if he didnt they would do this and that, but all im seeing is small talk but they dont do a thing.over the past maybe more than 7 months ive been feeling depressed and hurt. ive harmed myself before ive cut on my left arm about 6 times and i used to reopen them but luckily have stopped. all i feel is pain inside when all these flashbacks come to mind.anything i could do? | It can be extremely exhausting to live in an abusive environment. Please remember that you are not alone. You have options and WEAVE is here to help. You can call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for services offered, resources and referrals, and support. If you ever feel that you are in danger to yourself or someone else, please call 9-1-1. |
| I have a question, im 22 yrs old with 2 young children. My boyfriend beats me so bad when he gets mad like im a guy. I have to lie about why im so sore or why i have cuts and bruses, its starting to go to far and i have realized this is not love. He controls everything, even the tv shows i want to watch, i want to get away from him but i dnt know how. I have no one or no where to go. | You are not alone. You do not deserve to be abused in any way. WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for you. The 24 hour Crisis Line can provide you with emotional support and assist you with referrals for help. The Support and Information Line number is 916.920.2952. WEAVE also provides counseling services and legal services that may assist you during this difficult time. |
| I need to file for a divorce but don't have funds to do it. Is there anything that can help? I make more money than the maximum allowed to get the fee waived through Sacramento County. | WEAVE offers a free dissolution (divorce and legal separation) workshop on the second Thursday of each month at 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM. It takes place at 1900 K Street in midtown Sacramento. Please call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for more information. |
| I was in an abusive marriage for many years. Now that I am out of it, I have found myself in a roommate situation where he beats her. He has hit the next door neighbor, and has threatened me. What are my options? I can't seem to get past the fear, and I think a lot of the fear is because of my marriage. | It sounds like you may be experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. This is very common among survivors. WEAVE provides counseling and support services for survivors of domestic violence. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to access counseling services, learn about options and receive support. You can also come in for a free triage assessment on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| I was married for 13 years and left two years ago. He is still very much a part of my life because we share a daughter. During our marriage he never hit me so I didn't consider it abuse but he would hurt me sexually, criticize me continually and physically overpower me in order to get me to do what he wanted. I have a male friend who wants to be more but I am terrified because of my past and only experience with men. He suggested contacting you about a woman's support group or counseling. Is there someone who can help me sort this out so I can be a healthy example for my daughter? | You have already taken a hugely important step in the right direction. WEAVE offers a variety of services, including a 24-hour Support and Information Line, individual and group counseling. To access services, please consider coming in for a free Triage assessment - offered Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm at WEAVE - Midtown – 1900 K Street, Sacramento. |
| I have 3 children and my husband is very emotionally abusive,I have a job but no way to move to be able to afford housing and also bad credit, I want to leave and I know my older kids are tired of the fighting. Is there help for a woman employed but can't get out. I keep trying to leave but then I just hope things will get better , years later it's worse but not physically abusive I have no options I feel helpless. | It can be extremely difficult to leave an abusive environment. You have options and we are here to help. You can come in and speak with a WEAVE advocate one-on-one. When meeting with the advocate you will discuss and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and will be provided with information on appropriate services. This service is offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. You can also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources and support. |
| I recently left an abusive marriage my belongings are still there and he is threatning those around me if he sees me with them. He is with holding our assets and I was wondering if there is any legal help available to me. | You have taken a very important first step towards healing. For legal assistance, please call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916.319.4905. Please allow at least 3 days for a returned call from WEAVE’s Legal Department. You may also contact’s WEAVE’s Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources, information and referrals. |
| After 10 years, I have removed myself from my abuser. I lived in Government housing and left it. I took my rent money and just left, after living in Housing for close to 11 years. I am now living with my daughter, but I want to have my own place again. Is there any help I can recieve to help me on my way?? I am a Survior! | We are so glad to hear you were able to leave. There are many resources available. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for support, resources and referrals. 2-1-1 Sacramento is another helpful referral service, which may be able to help. |
|
My best friend of 37 years has been married for seven years. She is a victim of a Mr.Sensitive abuser on steroids who controls her physically, emotionally and financially. He has strategically broken her and she is unable to escape. I want to give you her name and address because if anything happens to her, the husband did it. He got her fired from her last job by calling too much. She has been on unemployment for 3 years, has no credit, no money, no car. She has been isolated from friends and family. I am all she has left and he won't allow us to spend any time together. She told me that she is allowed to go to church, but he has to go too. I want to reach out to the community to help me protect my friend. Thank you so much. |
We are very sorry to hear of your friend’s situation and we know it is extremely hard to watch someone you love be treated this way. Isolation is a huge factor in domestic violence relationships and is very common. The best way to support your friend is to let her know that you support and care her, no matter what. However, she must be willing to seek help. In order to receive further support and referrals for both you, and your friend, please call our confidential, 24-Hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 |
| Does Weave have an office in Utah? I have an ex who is becoming more and more aggressive, stalks me, assaulted me in the back yard. And is threatening to kill me in front of my ten year old, disabled child. My ex has custody. And I am now realizing that my child is in the custody of not just a narcissist but, a psychopath who seems always to be making death threats, death plans and innuendos. I am growing very tired of this. I would immediately cut off all contact & leave the state. But, he has my child. I am not sure if I should just leave any ways to prevent my son seeing his mother murdered? I am afraid for my child being with someone who is capable of murder and is controlling, aggressive and abusive. My divorce decree states that I cannot leave the state to live. However, I would not have my child. So, I don't know that this legality matters. Or, does it? Not sure what my next steps should be. | WEAVE does not have an office in Utah; however, there are domestic violence agencies similar to WEAVE all over the United States. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for resources in your area. If you ever feel that you or your son are in danger, please call 9-1-1. |
| Is verbal and emotional abuse apart of domestic violence? | WEAVE identifies five types of domestic violence – physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and spiritual. All types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control. Verbal/emotional abuse is considered as one of the five types of domestic violence. Verbal/emotional abuse can be just as damaging as the other forms of abuse. Though the damage subjected to the survivors of is not visible as it might be from physical abuse, the pain and healing process are similar. To learn more about different forms of abuse and services WEAVE offers, please contact the Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband says he doesn't know any better and cant change how he was born. He is physically violent (following the cycle). Any time he and I are on good terms, he always seems to turn on his two children (my step children). He keeps us all so afraid, but says we are the ones who are always poking the bear. I love him and don't want him to go to jail, or think that he needs to, but I'm afraid for myself and those kids. I have no legal rights to them. Last week he picked up a machete and told me that he was going to give me 16 chops after yelling at me for hours, all in front of them. I told them to get in the car and left with them, but he said he would call the cops and say I kidnapped them so I came back. what do i do? | If you ever feel that you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. It sounds like you are experiencing the cycle of violence. The cycle occurs in three phases. The tension phase, the explosion phase, and the honeymoon phase. The cycle is recurring. Please consider contacting WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. A trained advocate can help you develop a safety plan, connect you with services, and provide emotional support. |
| i am 8 months pregnant and have used meth occasionally thru my pregnancy. i desperatley would like some help to get cleaned up. my boyfriend leaves me at home for days at atime with no food. i live in a trailer with broken windows and is no place to bring a baby home to. i need some help. please what can i do? | Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for support, resources and referrals. 2-1-1 Sacramento is another helpful referral service, which may be able to help. |
| are there any services that provide help for woman who are homeless, experiencing a violent spousal situation, but also have pets? | WEAVE has been responding to this barrier for several years through a partnership with the Sacramento SPCA. Together, we offer the Safe Pets Program where the SPCA provides free board and care for the pets of victims up to 30 days for victims staying the Safehouse (longer if the situation warrants it). While it is not as ideal as having the pet(s) with the family, it is a partnership that keeps pets and families safe and ensures a victim is not forced to choose between her pets and her safety. We also work with victims to include pets on Temporary Restraining Order applications which ensures that any attempted abuse/abduction of pets as part of the pattern of violence is recognized as a violation of the TRO and can lead to additional criminal charges. Please call WEAVE’s Support & Information Line for more information at 916.920.2952. |
| Were can I find out about your service for men that are being the victim. | WEAVE serves men, women and children who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in Sacramento County. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for more information. |
| Are there eligibility requirements to get help from WEAVE and if so what are they? Can you summarize the services that WEAVE offers and what action does a family need to take to start receiving services? | WEAVE offers a variety of services relating to sexual assault and domestic violence issues. Our services include a 25-hour Support and Information Line, Safehouse, Legal Assistance, and domestic violence and sexual assault counseling, and more. To learn more, please explore the website or call WEAVE's 24-hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I need to file for a separation from my husband, but I am disabled with no income and in my 50's with a 6yr. old daughter. He has become increasingly verbally abusive and I need to know how to file so that I may raise my daughter in an environment that is not so hostile and mentally abusive. I am totally dependent upon his income for housing and for the costs of raising my daughter. I have applied for Social Security Disability benefits but have been denied. I do not want to continue to live in such a toxic environment, I have lost an excess of 30 pounds dues to his constant barrage of insults and threats to take our daughter. I need to know where I can go for help. | It can be exhausting to live in an abusive environment. You have options and you are not alone. You can call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905 for legal assistance. Please allow at least 3 days for a returned call from WEAVE’s Legal Department. You may also contact’s WEAVE’s Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for information and referrals. |
| I feel very confused about my situation. My husband of 10 years is a good guy with an explosive temper, usually towards others (road rage, etc.), occasionally at me and the kids. It's like he has no control. He has raised a fist and pushed a couple times, but has never hit, he has thrown an item or two at me in the heat of the moment. I am not afraid of him, but his blow ups are terrifying. I find myself orchestrating our kids and environment to avoid blow ups or even provoking him when the kids aren't around so that I can at least control the timing. He is otherwise a good husband and dad and is always extremely remorseful to the point where I usually end up comforting him. He says he wants counseling, but never follows through. We both have jobs, but we keep seperate accounts and the bills I am responsible for leave me with very little left over to save to go anywhere if needed. I'm feeling quite unempowered and stuck. I love him so much and our kids adore him, but I feel like things have gotten worse as time goes on and I worried about our well-being in the future and the effect it's having on my kids. These huge blow ups are literally months apart, but I feel stressed all the time. I truly feel that if I left, he would commit suicide or something drastic. I have never considered myself an abused person, but I know this is not normal and has intensified over the past year to the point where I am literally going back and forth in my mind on a daily basis about what to do. I can't even talk about it without crying now. I feel like he needs me, I love him, the kids love him, and he is a good man at his core if he would just get help, but something holds him back from doing it. I don't know what to do. | It sounds like you are experiencing the cycle of violence. The cycle occurs in three phases. The tension phase, the explosion phase, and the honeymoon phase. The cycle is recurring. It is normal to question whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship. WEAVE identifies 5 types of domestic violence. All of these types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. These types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. WEAVE offers a 24-hour Support and Information Line, where you can speak to a trained advocate about these issues, receive support, and learn about your options. The 24-hour Support and Information line number is 916.920.2952. You can also attend a Free Triage assessment - Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 AM - 1 PM and Wednesdays from 4 PM - 7 PM. |
| My husband has turned physical on me and is now incarcerated. He has been diagnosed with a mental disorder which contributes to his violence towards me... I wanted to know how he can find help with his disorder while in he is in jail and how? I'm having a really hard time accepting that we will no longer be able to continue our relationship together... Where do I start to make this bad dream go away? Also, what/how should I tell my family? | You are in a challenging situation. It is not normal to care deeply for your partner, and it is not uncommon to feel this way even after they have hurt you. Anger management (i.e. abuser intervention) programs are an important resource in efforts to end domestic violence in our community. There are numerous approved programs. To receive a full list of Anger Management programs in our area, please call our 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. The Support Line advocate will also be able to provide emotional support and resources. |
| my friends brother beats her and has all her life and her family hasn't done anything to help her and she is scared to ask for help. she told me he stopped for a while but she called me crying tonight because it started again but she said it is worse than ever that he was kicking and punching her. she never told me until tonight when she called. what can i do to help her? | It is painful and terrifying to watch someone you love be treated this way. There are options available to your friend; however your friend has to be willing to receive help. WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information line can provide your friend with referrals, emotional support, and options. The number is 916.920.2952. Also, your friend may come in and speak with a WEAVE advocate through triage. Triage is available, on a first come, first served basis on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm at WEAVE - Midtown – 1900 K Street, Sacramento. |
| I am a 17 year old mother. I have a 4 month old baby girl, and my boyfriend is 19. He's the father of my child. Before we have gotten together he was never ever abusive. But as months passed, he became abusive. I think it was because i had moved in with him 3 years ago. And thats when everything started. His aggressiveness never stopped until i became pregnant. When i was pregnant, everything was fine. He would never lay a hand on me. But now that i had gave birth to my child, everytime we argue, he always ends up threatning me that he'll punch me in the face. And yes he did before and he broke my left cheek bone. What should i do? | Love should never hurt. There a several types of domestic violence, and threatening violence is a form of abuse. WEAVE offers triage services where you can meet with a WEAVE advocate and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and provide you with referrals for appropriate services. Triage is available on a first come first serve basis Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 AM - 1 PM and Wednesdays from 4 PM - 7 PM. For more information and support call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1. |
| My husband is physically and emotionally abusive, but I feel like I can't leave that this point because I am currently 7 months pregnant, I've been cut off from my family and friends and he is the only one making money because I'm on bed rest due to complications with the pregnancy. What should be my first step, I'm scared that I'll be stuck here forever if I don't do something about this now. | There are options available to you. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. To discuss your options and discuss a safety plan you can call WEAVE's 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 or come in for triage assessment and meet with a trained WEAVE advocate to discuss safety planning, resources, and options. Triage is free and available at WEAVE Midtown – 1900 K Street, Sacramento on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 10 AM and 1 PM and Wednesdays between 4 PM – 7 PM. |
|
"Hi. I believe I was in an abusive dating
relationship. It lasted 2 years and just ended 2
months ago. It was nothing physical, but plenty
of emotional and some sexual abuse. Since ending
the relationship, he has shown up at my house at
midnight unannounced (from out of town! He
doesn't live near me), and has been dropping
cards and notes off at my doorstep. Lots of
questions from my kids since they don't know
about him, and have never met him. I am scared,
especially since now he has chossen to join my
yoga studio not only as a student, but as an
instructors assistant, with only 2 yoga classes
under his belt. And, he still lives an hour and a
half away from me and my place of yoga. I feel
like I am being stalked, and I don't know what to
do! I continually feel victimized! I feel like I
must leave ""my family, my community"" because I
am very fearful of what might happen next. I am
terrified at the fact that he can show up
anywhere at anytime without notice! I feel
helpless, victimized, confused, and scared. Any
advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks." |
Any type of threatening and uninvited behavior is unacceptable. You should not have to live in fear. You may want to consider a restraining order. WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order Workshops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the William Ridgeway Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. This workshop will assist you with filing for a restraining order. Make sure you are also documenting and keeping a log of incidents, in as much detail as possible. If you have additional questions or need emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 9-1-1. |
| I am in California but my sister lives in Wichita Kansas..........are you in Kansas? Can your organization help me get my sister away from her abusive son and to me, here in California? thank you. Oh and the abuse is mental, verbal, sometimes physical, using threats and violence.......she is scared for her life.......hides in her room to stay away from him.....and walks on egg shells so as not to trigger his violent temper. | There are domestic violence agencies similar to WEAVE all over the United States. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for resources in your area. |
| My spouse is an abusive alcoholic. After 20 years 3-4 years with the legal contract. Do I have rights? She is trying to get me to sign paper work without my attorney / I am waiting on a call from your legal department / The family I am dealing with will all lie to protect the alcoholic / They are so happy that I am financially ruined. Like this is a joke! Please, what are my rights as a married man getting divorced?? and I'm in a wheelchair | You may want to consult a local family law attorney regarding your rights. If you live in or have a divorce case in Sacramento County and are not represented by an attorney, you can call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905 for assistance. Please allow at least 3 days for a returned call from WEAVE’s Legal Department. You can also contact’s WEAVE’s Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for information and referrals. |
| I am married but I am not happy its abusive at times, more emotional abuse but I am afraid I have two kids and I don't want them in the system they are not being abused And I am seeking help for myself because I am tired and majorly depressed and feel suicidal at times. | It can be extremely exhausting to live in an abusive environment. You have options and we are here to help. You may come in and speak with a WEAVE advocate one-on-one. When meeting with the advocate you will discuss and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and will be provided with information on appropriate services. This service is offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. You can also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources and support. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger to yourself or others, call 9-1-1. |
| My sister and 4 year old daughter have been moved to Arkansas from California by my sister's abusive partner. Since moving to Arkansas 4 months ago, the verbal, emotional, financial and physical abuse has greatly increased--both toward my 32 year old sister and 4 year old neice. Because she was moved across the country, she has no one to run to and a friend is going to contact authorities to at least get protection for my niece. Are there any programs that can help my family financially to bring my neice and sister back to a safe environment before it is too late? | There are domestic violence agencies similar to WEAVE all over the United States. Please call WEAVE’s 24-hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952 for referrals, emotional support, and options. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for resources in your area. |
| my bestfriend is verbally/emotionally abused by her boyfriend and she cant get out of the relationship.what should she do? | It is difficult to leave an abusive situation. Your friend does have options and she can leave, however she must want to leave her relationship. Your friend may come in to speak with a WEAVE advocate one-on-one. When meeting with the advocate your friend will discuss and assess her level of danger, prepare a safety plan and will be provided with referrals for appropriate services. This service is offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. She may also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources and support. |
| Just recently I moved in with my boyfriend and he started spitting at my face, pulling my hair, Im scare to leave so what? | If someone is spitting at your face and pulling your hair they do not respect you. This is a form of physical violence. WEAVE offers triage services for you to speak one on one with a WEAVE advocate. Triage is available on a first come, first served basis on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. If you need additional emotional support and/or resources call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| What is the process for getting help for my niece and her 4 children who are victims of DV if she has been arrested? | Your niece can still apply for a restraining order, even though she's been arrested. The judge looks at each case individually, on its own merits. Her arrest may be a factor, but it generally does not determine whether she will get a temporary restraining order or not. |
| My 21 year old son, is verbally/emotionally abusive towards me and wants to move in with my ex, an abuser. Where's help for him? | Children often repeat behaviors they learn from their parents (the perpetrator or the victim). It is learned in the home by observation and reinforcement. There are programs for your son, however your son has to want to receive help. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can provide your son with referrals for counseling and various other programs. The number is 916.920.2952. Also, you may come in and speak with a WEAVE advocate through triage. Triage is available, on a first come, first served basis on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. |
| im 17 and my boyfriends 19 he was never abusive before we have been together for 2 years how does it stop? | Abuse is about power and control. Chances are the abuse will never stop because the person wants control of every situation. There are perpetrator programs available, however your boyfriend needs to realize there is a problem and want to receive help. You can not help him. For additional information, please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Husband has a mental imbalance problem an doesn't have treatment. But he is mentally, physical abusive towards me. | You do not deserve to be mentally and physically abused. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can offer you referrals, emotional support and options. Please call 916.920.2952 to speak with a WEAVE advocate. |
| I left an abusive marriage 4 years ago. When I see abuse or hear loud noises sometimes I get flashbacks. Is this normal? | Yes, some survivors of domestic violence experience what you are experiencing. You may have a trauma response called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Although PTSD is most commonly associated with the traumatic experiences of war, it can be applied to reactions to many forms of trauma, including natural disaster, rape and other forms of violent crimes. It is brought on primarily by intense feelings of helplessness and impending death. WEAVE offers counseling services to assist you with what you are experiencing. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for information about counseling and support group services. |
| My husband has closed both of our joint credit cards and cancelled the ATM card for our joint checking account. Is that legal? | Laws vary from state to state regarding divorce and division of assets. You may want to consult a local family law attorney regarding your rights. If you live in or have a divorce case in Sacramento County and are not represented by an attorney, you can call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905 for assistance. |
| My husbands anger towards my 16 year old son is starting to get violent. He is only angry to him, not to anyone else. HELP | You are in a challenging position. Since being violent with a 16 year old is child abuse, your husband needs assistance in learning how to manage his anger and parent with non-violent communication. There are many resources to help him in the community which our support line can assist with identifying. If he refuses to get help, you have some hard decisions to make regarding how to intervene such as reporting his behavior to child protective services or taking your son away so he is not exposed to the violence. It is important for you to take action so that your son learns that his father's behavior is unacceptable. |
| I love my boyfriend but he is not nice. Violent and abusive. He wants to stop his anger. Where do we go and what do we do? | It is great that your boyfriend would like to seek assistance. He may call Positive Options to deal with anger management issues. The number is 916.973.2838. Another option for him is VIP Man Alive. The number is 877.366.8935. Lastly, he may call Changing Courses at 916.332.5056 or Evergreen Counseling Center at 916.487.0657. If you have additional questions please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has beaten me once. However threatens to hit every argument. Im not comfortable with his anger. How do i get out? | Just because your husband has used physical violence towards you once does not mean he will not do it again. Love should not hurt and he should not be threatening you. Abuse is about power and control and he is threatening you to control you. WEAVE offers triage services where you can meet with a WEAVE advocate and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and provide you with referrals for appropriate services. Triage is available on a first come first serve basis on: Tuesdays and Thursdays: 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays: 4 pm - 7 pm. For more information and support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My friend is 22 yrs old and a prisoner in her own home by her parents, who threaten her with violence. Wat shud i do 4 her? | This is a very difficult situation for you and your friend. Be supportive of her decisions. You may provide her with resources to receive help. Inform her of WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line. The number is 916.920.2952. A trained WEAVE advocate can provide her with emotional support, discuss her options and provide her with referrals. The advocate can also assist you with supporting your friend. |
| would my friend be eligible for safehouse while abusive bf is extracted from her apt? | Your friend may be eligible to stay at WEAVE's Safehouse depending on her situation. Please have your friend call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information at 916.920.2952 to speak with a WEAVE advocate. An advocate can discuss your friend's options, create a safety plan and provide her with referrals. |
| I was in abused and am now in a wonderful relationship with no abuse. But now I'm abusing him. why? | This is not uncommon. Unresolved anger from previous abusive relationships can erupt in present relationships. It is important to seek therapy to heal from the previous abuse and learn new ways to manage anger. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to receive referrals, support and information. |
| i have been with my bf for the last two and a half years.hes very abusive and has went to jail..im now pregnant how do i leave? | There are many options for you. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. To discuss your options and discuss a safety plan you may call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 or come in for triage and meet with a WEAVE advocate between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM. |
| Need to leave abusive bf i need a place to move to i hav two evictions cant find a place to help.but hav a job.and the money. | The WEAVE Safehouse may be an option for you. To access WEAVE services and/or for referrals call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| How do I get help getting away and into another place away from the situation? | An advocate on the WEAVE 24 hour Support and Information line can assist you with developing a safety plan and discuss safe options for you to leave the situation. The number is 916.920.2952. You may also come in for triage Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM. Triage allows you to meet with a trained WEAVE advocate to discuss options, your safety plan, and provide you with referrals. |
| What to do - first showing of physical abuse - lots of personal and financial problems and a special needs child. I feel lost | You are not alone. What you're going through is extremely difficult. It is okay to feel lost. WEAVE is here for you. WEAVE offers triage services Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM. The triage process includes meeting with WEAVE advocate who will help assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan, and offer referrals. The 24 hour Support and Information line is a great resource for emotional support and assisting you with options. The Support and Information line is 916.920.2952. |
| Do u have any services that will work with a couple together on communication to prevent further domestic violence? | WEAVE offers couples counseling at a sliding scale fee. The couple will need to be triaged individually. Triage is available Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM on a first come first serve basis. Other agencies that assist with this matter are Family Study Center 916.456.4412 and Family Therapy Institute of Sacramento 916.967.0778. For additional referrals, questions, and/or emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Why do most women stay with their abusive partner? | There is a variety of reasons why victims stay with an abusive partner. These reasons include fearing their abusers will become more violent—perhaps fatal—stalking them if they leave, friends and family may not support their decision to leave, they fear the financial hardships, and/or fear of losing custody of any minor children. In addition, there are periods of calm, nurturing and love between incidents of violence and the victim may think the violence will stop. The victim may also be unaware of sources of advocacy and support. WEAVE offers a variety of resources for victims of domestic violence. For more information about the services WEAVE offers call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| how do i get a restraing order | WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order Workshops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the William Ridgeway Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. This workshop will assist you with filing for a restraining order. If you have additional questions or need emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Do you have a number I can call for mental abuse from my husband? I have no idea what to do. Thank you. | Mental abuse is a form of domestic violence. WEAVE can help you. For information about WEAVE services and emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i need to leave but i have 4 dogs | WEAVE has been responding to this barrier for several years through a partnership with the Sacramento SPCA. Together, we offer the Safe Pets Program where the SPCA provides free board and care for the pets of victims up to 30 days for victims staying the Safehouse (longer if the situation warrants it). Those staying at the Safehouse can visit their pets regularly and know they are being well cared for separate from the surrendered/adoptable animal population at the SSPCA. While it is not as ideal as having the pet(s) with the family, it is a partnership that keeps pets and families safe and ensures a victim is not forced to choose between her pets and her safety. We also work with victims to include pets on Temporary Restraining Order applications which ensures that any attempted abuse/abduction of pets as part of the pattern of violence is recognized as a violation of the TRO and can lead to additional criminal charges. |
| can someone from another county use your services? | WEAVE serves domestic violence and sexual assault survivors who reside in Sacramento County. Depending on your situation WEAVE's Safehouse does take out of county transfers. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line advocate can provide you with referrals and information for a domestic violence organization in your area. You may also call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for resources in your area. |
| Im afraid lose my 2 babies im in a safehouse he filed custody.Says im abuser,unstable im scared he'l convince he's good at it | Abusers are often good at putting on a facade that makes them look reasonable. Court mediation is designed to try to help parents create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of the children, not based on who seems reasonable. WEAVE's legal department can assist you with custody matters depending on your situation. Please call 916.319.4905. |
| I like 2 leave my abusive husbnd, will I have the right 2 claim the house even thou were in foreclosure process? | There are many factors that go into determining legal ownership of property and only an attorney can provide you with sound legal advice. WEAVE may be able to provide you with more information through its Legal Advocacy and Assistance program. To access legal services through WEAVE and to learn of other community resources, start by calling our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. The trained advocates can give you more information and connect you with appropriate services. |
| Boyfriend suffering from PTSD, fine 1 min then is screaming & violent the next Cant leave bc of threats va taking 2 long 2 help | Your safety is extremely important. It is not okay for someone to threaten to harm you. There is help for both of you. WEAVE can provide your boyfriend with referrals to anger management, counseling, and various other agencies that can assist him with his situation. WEAVE's educational presentations may assist you with learning more about domestic violence and WEAVE services. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to access these resources and for emotional support. |
| My husband spit in my face last night. I feel humiliated and trapped! | Spitting in your face not appropriate and humiliating. You deserve to be treated with respect. WEAVE can help you to find ways to remember your worth and create healthy relationships in your life. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 920.2952 to speak with a certified counselor who will help you understand what has happened and identify resources that may be useful. |
| i need legal advice for divorce i dont want yo lose my kids | WEAVE provides dissolution workshops the 2nd Thursday of every month from 6:15 PM to 8:30 PM and the 3rd Wednesday of every month from 2:45 PM to 5:00 PM. At this workshop you may speak with a WEAVE legal advocate about your situation and receive assistance in filing dissolution of your marriage. |
| I question whether or not I was really in an abusive relationship. I am scared people think I am just being dramatic. | Many people are in your situation. Questioning whether or not your are in an abusive relationship is normal. WEAVE identifies 5 types of domestic violence. All of these types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. These types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. The five types of abuse are physical, emotional, verbal, sexual and financial. WEAVE offers an educational workshop on Mondays from 5:45 PM to 7:30 PM and Fridays from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM. This workshop provides information about domestic violence, sexual assault, WEAVE crisis intervention services and counseling programs. For more information and support call our 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am scared that my ex boyfriend will find out that I had to get help because of what he did to me. Is this normal? | Yes, your feelings are normal. It is okay to feel scared. You did the right thing by getting help. It is important for you to express your feelings and protect yourself. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line can provide you with emotional support through this difficult time. |
| Husband who is physically abusive took his belongings and left. Why do I want to call him? I'm beginning to think I'm crazy! | You may to call him because you care deeply about him. It is normal to have deep feeling for your abuser. It is natural to feel like it was your fault and you want to make the relationship work; however love shouldn't hurt. Someone who physically abuses you does not respect you. Love is respect. You may call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line for emotional support and to speak with a trained advocate about your feelings. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| I married an abusive US citizen, i ran away. can i apply for self-petition for permanent residency? who can help me file? | You may be able to self-petition for residency under VAWA (Violence Against Women Act of 1994). You will need to speak to an immigration attorney or a non-profit that does immigration. If you reside in Sacramento, McGeorge School of Law has an immigration clinic that helps with VAWA. The number is (916) 340-6080. For more information call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My 4 yrs. husb. raised fist, then shoved my face during an argument, VERY unlike him. Is it ok for him "lose it" sometimes? | Anger should never lead to aggression. It is not okay for someone to intimidate you with violence. Anger management may be a solution for him. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line for resources, referrals and support. |
| Publically my husband appears reasonable/rational.Privately he is controlling/hysically abusive disciplining our kids.Abusive? | Abuse is about power and control. It is never right to hit another individual whether it is your child, your spouse, your friend, etc. Spanking is not uncommon in disciplining, however spanking is narrowly defined. It is considered abuse if objects, skin to skin contact, marks being left, and if discipline is excessive. Parenting classes may be an option for you and your husband. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can provide you with referrals. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| My husband gets abusive when he drinks, he has a no harrassment order on him,I have no place to go and I am afraid for my safety | If you are in immediate danger please call local law enforcement or 9-1-1. If you need immediate help responding to abuse or violence in your relationship, WEAVE provides in person and telephone triage services. In person appointments are on a first come, first served basis Monday through Friday between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM. The triage process includes meeting with a WEAVE Advocate who helps assess your level of danger, helps you prepare a safety plan and provides referrals. You may call our 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for more information about WEAVE services and emotional support. |
| my BF says I have no business knowing what he does, I cant control my emotions. Am I at fault for making him mad at me? | Every relationship is different. Healthy relationships include some level of conflict at times. Without knowing more about your relationship, it is impossible to provide insight into whether or not it is unhealthy conflict and possibly abusive. Good warning signs are: a partner refuses to tell you their whereabouts but demand to know where you are at all times; a partner that gets angry and uses threats and yelling to intimidate you to stop you from asking questions; etc. It might be helpful for you to talk with a counselor on our Support and Information Line to learn more. You can call any time - day or night - the number is 916.920.2952. |
| Is it possible to get a restrainig order without any police reports? | Yes. Often clients do not have police reports. There is a box when filing a temporary restraining that you may check if you do not have a report. WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order workshops every day from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the Family Court house. For more information please call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 24 yr old is forced to live at her parents home with her child & is being physically abused by her parents & has no where to go. | You are not alone. You do not deserve to be abuse in any way. WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for you. The 24 hour Crisis Line can provide you with emotional support and assist you with referrals for help. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. WEAVE also provides counseling services and legal services that may assist you during this difficult time. |
| Is there a service where we can just talk to someone about our situation, thru the phone or in person? | Yes. WEAVE has a 24 hour Crisis Line where you can speak to someone about your situation. A Crisis Line Advocate will provide you with emotional support and resources to help you in your situation. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| Is there a program 4 violent men in Sacramento that you'd recommend? Do you know the book, "Why Does He Do That?" | Batterers intervention programs are an important resource in efforts to end domestic violence in our community. There are numerous approved programs. To receive a full list of batterers intervention programs in our area, please call our 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. Several batterers intervention programs which are frequently used include are Changing Courses at 916.332.5056, Evergreen Counseling at 916.487.0657, and VIP Man Alive at 877.366.8935. |
| I have escaped from a violent husband and now have 4 kids on my own. I really need someone to talk to about this. please help me | You may come in for triage between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM Monday through Friday. Triage allows you to speak with a WEAVE advocate who can assess your level of danger, help you develop a safety plan and provide referrals. You may also call the 24 hour Crisis Line and talk with a trained advocate who will provide you with emotional support, information about WEAVE services and referrals. |
| Iown a home and have three kids elderly mom and being abuse by myboyfriend. What can i do? | It's important that you and your family are safe. WEAVE offers legal assistance and advocacy to assist you in protecting yourself and your family. Temporary Restraining Order workshops are held Monday through Friday from 8:45 AM to 12 PM at the Family Courthouse. WEAVE also has an educational workshop on Mondays from 5:45 PM to 7:30 PM and Fridays from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM. These workshops provide information about domestic violence, sexual assault and WEAVE's crisis intervention and counseling services. For additional support, safety planning and/or more information about WEAVE services call our 24 crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am in a verbal abusive relation.I want out.I Will need legal help may be housing. Can you help? I cannot live like this anymor | You are not alone. You deserve to be treated with respect. WEAVE is here to help. Temporary Restraining Order Workshops are held Monday through Friday from 8:45 AM-12 PM at the Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. WEAVE also provides Dissolution Workshops, as well as other legal services that may assist you at this time. Please call the 24-hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 for housing referrals and for more information about WEAVE services. |
| my BF and i fight every other day but one thing he always says is "if it was leagal i would hit you" should i leave? | Using the words "if it was legal I would hit you" is a verbal threat. A verbal threat is a form of abuse. No one should want to hurt you. You deserve a healthy relationship, where you do not feel threatened. For more information and support please call our crisis line at 916.920.2952. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. |
| What are the solutions (if any) to domestic violence? Can domestic violence ACTUALLY be stopped/prevented? | Solutions to domestic violence require a community wide response, appropriate supports and services for victims, and accountability for the perpetrator. WEAVE believes it is possible to stop and prevent domestic violence through a continuum of crisis intervention, therapeutic, and prevention efforts. |
| Am doing my senior project on domestic violence. Would like to know if there are any counter arguments to WEAVE's solutions? | WEAVE strives to offer a range of options to survivors and the community rather than a single solution. To ensure we answer your question accurately and provide you with the appropriate resources, we would need more information. We would be happy to arrange for a staff person to speak with you regarding your project and to answer specific questions. You may send more specific questions to info@weaveinc.org. |
| I think my BF slipped some drugs into my drink i cant prove it but i tested + 4 mAMP but do not use. what can I do? | Abuse is about control. It is never okay for someone to control your actions or inhibit your ability to control yourself by forcing you to induce drugs. If want to make report, you may provide this information to Law Enforcement. If you live in the Elk Grove area you may contact a WEAVE Advocate by calling 916.627.3702. For additional resources and information please call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I've been married for three years now to a verbally abusive husband...I'm still in love with him and feel torn about what to do | It's difficult when the person you love is saying hurtful words to you. Many people are in your situation. WEAVE is here to help. Our educational presentation on Mondays from 5:45 pm to 7:30 pm or Fridays from 11:45 am to 1:30 pm may be beneficial for you. Please call the crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a crisis counselor and find the best option for you. |
| What about the LGBT community, are they affected by domestic violence also and why is there not alot of info about them? | Whether a couple is same-sex or opposite-sex, many dynamics of abuse are the same. An abusive relationship is fueled by the desire of the abuser to have control over his or her partner. At the same time, we recognize there are unique barriers to LGBT survivors . Our mission is to provide counseling, legal help , and additional services to all people affected by domestic violence and sexual assault in a culturally competent and sensitive manner. |
| I would like to know if domestic violence and domestic abuse mean the same thing or is there a difference between them. | Yes, domestic violence and domestic abuse have the same meaning. Domestic Violence is abuse between intimate partners, where one partner is using different types of abuse (i.e., physical, emotional) to gain power and control over his or her partner. |
| do you provide services outside Sacramento? For example, Placer county Emigrant Gap California? | WEAVE provides crisis intervention services to victims of domestic violence and/or sexual assault in Sacramento County only. Peace for Families is a similar organization who serves individuals in Placer county and Emigrant Gap area. You may call their crisis line number at 800.575.5352 to inquire about services and receive referrals. |
| My daughter and I and her 3 children moved from a violent situation. Our funds are exhausted. We need beds for the kids. | You did the right thing by ensuring the safety of you, your children, and grandchildren. There is not enough information in your post to determine what types of supportive housing and rental assistance programs you may qualify for. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 and speak with a counselor. They can talk with you further about your needs and provide referrals to the appropriate community services. |
| Left abusive ex 2yrs ago, I wont go back so hes severly brainwashing our son & its affecting him deeply-so scared of ex what do | Abusive relationships hurt everyone - especially children. You have taken important steps in ending the relationship. It is important to continue to reassure your child that they are loved. You may find talking with a counselor about additional parenting options would be beneficial. You can talk with someone at any time by calling our 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952. The crisis line caller can give you more information about counseling and parenting resources to support you in responding to the confusion your child is sure to experience to support them appropriately. |
| A friend of mine is a victom of violent crime, her now ex-boyfriend broke her jaw. Is she entitled to any help? | Your friend has been through an awful experience and she is fortunate to have your support. Your friend can access counseling services through WEAVE as well as other supportive programs she may need to deal with the assault, including legal assistance if necessary. Depending on the details of her situation and if she reported the assault to law enforcement, she may be eligible for victim's compensation. WEAVE's Crisis Response Advocates and Counselors can provide her with more details. A good first step would be for your friend to contact our 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk with someone about the specifics of her situation. From there, she can get information and access other services. |
| can I obtain some kind of residency after being a victim of domestic abuse? If I get deported can I take my son? | There are options for victims of domestic violence who are not permanent residents of the United States. These options depend on the details of your exact situation. If you contact WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952, we can provide referrals for low cost/free legal assistance clinics who have knowledge of immigration law and options for survivors of domestic violence. |
| have been in 2 abusive marriages..still married but sep. 4 yrs later still cant trust men or my choices | You are not alone and the abuse is not your fault. You are making choices to keep yourself safe and the leave the abuse. These are positive steps. You may want to consider talking with a counselor at WEAVE and/or participating in a support group. Through this process, you can learn more about the types of abuse and explore your choices and options. You can contact our 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 at any time to speak with a counselor and get support and learn more about drop in support groups and individual counseling. |
| Am orig frm Sac. now living overseas. am in a vry abusive marriage. hv 2 bb.no 1 hr will help. please help. dnt knw wht to do. | This sounds like a very difficult situation where you have been very isolated. Depending on where you are living, your options will vary dramatically. There are domestic violence programs throughout the world and there may be something in your region/area. If you are a U.S. citizen you may also have resources available to you. You may wish to start by locating resources closer to you so that you can develop a safety plan for your current situation. If you return to Sacramento, please contact WEAVE as we can provide support and assistance with healing from the abuse. |
| No job. No money. About to lose house. What can weave do? | WEAVE provides services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. WEAVE does offer a program to build employment skills and help with finding a job. WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line can help with referrals to programs which provide shelter, transitional housing, etc. Please contact the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to learn more about all of your options. |
| I am moving to Sacramento to stay with family and get away from abusive husband. Can WEAVE help if I'm not a resident? | WEAVE primarily provides services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault living in Sacramento County. You do not have to prove residency to obtain WEAVE services. To find out about crisis intervention, counseling and legal services which may be helpful, call 916.920.2952. This is WEAVE's 24 hour crisis and information line and the counselor can talk about what your needs are and help provide services. |
| My boyfriend has become physically lately. He isn’t working and won’t move. My names on the rental lease. Can you help? | If you feel you are in danger from your boyfriend, please call 9-1-1. You may be eligible for a Temporary Restraining Order and WEAVE can you help you apply if you choose this option. To find out more information and when the next Restraining Order Workshop is, call the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952. The counselor can also tell you about other WEAVE services you may find beneficial. |
| My husband is abusive. He lost his job and is drinking and hitting me more. I scare for our children. What can I do? | We know the loss of a job can be scary but it is not an excuse for someone to hurt you. WEAVE offers a service where you can walk in or call during business hours and speak with a counselor to form a safety plan. You can talk with the counselor about options for keeping you and your children safe such as a confidential shelter, counseling, and legal options. If you choose to stay in the home, we can help you form a plan for your safety there, too. To find out more, call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i have a broken arm from my fiance i am scared and want to protect myself i need to report it and get help | If you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1 and report to abuse to the responding officer. You may also contact the law enforcement department for where the abuse occurred and file a report. Your safety is very important. You may contact WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor at any time who can help you assess your situation and develop a safety plan. During this call, you can consider numerous options such as staying at the WEAVE Safehouse, obtaining a Temporary Restraining Order, etc. You can use this information to make the decision that is best for your current needs and plan for a safe future. If you feel you are in danger in the future, please call 9-1-1 to keep yourself safe. |
| Iam in an abusive relationship is it worth it to try and make it work if i have seen progress | While every relationship takes work, abusive relationships pose risks to you and children that may be in the home. Understanding signs and types of abusive relationships and understanding the dynamics of abuse will be helpful in helping you make a decision. You can talk with a counselor about your specific situation through our 24 hour crisis line (916.920.2952) or you may come to WEAVE for a personal triage session Mondays through Friday between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. By talking with a counselor over the phone or in person, you can get more information about your relationship and make the decision that works best for you from there. Please remember that you do not deserve to be abused and any abuse is wrong. |
| I plan on leaving my Abuser next month, Im taking my kids,,is this okay?? | It is good that you are making plans to leave. Maintaining your safety and the safety of your children when leaving an abusive relationship is very important. When leaving with children, there are special considerations regarding how long children can be out of school, custody, etc. Each situation is different. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line or arrange for an in-person or telephone triage appointment so you may talk with a counselor to assess your situation. During this conversation you can further develop your safety plan and identify all options that are available to you. You may call the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor at anytime and to arrange a triage appointment. |
| Is it normal to feel guilty, to leave your abuser??..I have been with this person for 18 yrs and I plan on leaving with my kids. | Often survivors of domestic violence experience many feelings about leaving their partner. Some of the natural feelings could include, fear, loss, guilt, and many others. To access support through the process, the planning before you leave, how to increase your safety if decide to leave, and how to increase your safety once you have left the relationship, please contact our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920-2952. We also provide free in-person counseling to help you through the process. |
| my neighbor is being stalked by her ex-husband, he's even shot bb's into the house. Police are doing nothing--can weave help? | WEAVE's offers a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that may help your neighbor. Please call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information about the workshop and about WEAVE's services. |
| when a women is in an abusive relationship, does her batter use things like physicaln force to show who's in control? | Abuser uses physical violence for power and control. WEAVE has a Domestic Violence Workshop available if you are seeking more information about the different forms of domestic violence and warning signs. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more support and information. |
| I left a message with legal services on 11/26. Its been 5 business days and I haven't recv'd a response. What to do? | Due to the Holidays and the economy we have received an abundant amount of calls. We are calling clients in the order they are received. Please be patient. Someone from our legal department will call you back as soon as we can. If your contact information has changed, please leave us another message with your updated information. |
| I LIVE IN SAC AND WANT TO LEAVE THE AREA WILL WEAVE HELP I HAVE HOUSING JUST NO DEP. OR TRAVEL MONEY. | WEAVE offers a Safehouse for survivors in need of emergency housing. The Safehouse provides a safe environment for survivors to gather resources and develop a plan to safely relocate. You may contact WEAVE’s Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to get more information about the Safehouse and other services available in the area. |
| SINCE THE TRANSFER PROCESS TAKES SO LONG FOR HOUSING DO YOU HAVE OWNERS WILLING TO ALLOW A PERSON TO MOVE IN FIRST FOR SAFETY? | Please call our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you support and guidance. |
| I need help...I need this abusing, child porn/drug addict out of my life...he's not on lease...and pays nothing | If you believe you or any children in the home are in immediate danger, please consider making a police report. If the abuser is not on the lease, you may have options to having him removed but he may have some protection as a tenant - even if he is not on the lease. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 and speak with a counselor. They will be able to work with you to identify your options and provide referrals for additional assistance. |
| I'm very unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 2 years keeps hurting me. He doesn't exactly make me bleed, but he'll push, pinch | There are many forms of domestic violence. If your boyfriend is hurting you by pinching and pushing you then that is a form of physical abuse. You do not deserve to be hurt in any way (physical, emotional, sexual, financial, etc.) You may attend WEAVE's Workshop which is held twice a week to find out more information on the types of domestic violence and the services WEAVE offers. You may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information and support. |
| I know of a high risk couple. There is a child involved and the issue is escalating. What can I do to help them? | WEAVE has a Workshop that you may attend to receive more information about the cycle of violence and the different forms of abuse. You may also contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information and support. WEAVE's Crisis Line Counselor is a mandated reporter and they are required to report suspected child abuse. |
| My best friend's mom's husband has repeatedly domestically abused not only my friend but also his mom. He doesn't leave marks. | It is wonderful that you are seeking help for your friend and his mother. They may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information about our services. If your friend is under 18 years old, the Crisis Line Counselor is mandated to report the abuse regardless if there are any visible marks. If you have any questions or need emotional support, you may contact the Crisis Line as well. |
| my sister is being threatened with death by her estranged husband, is there a weave in fernley nv? | WEAVE is located in Sacramento, CA. You may contact the National Domestic Violence hotline to find resources near you. The number is 1.800.799.7233. You may also call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for additional referrals. |
| how do I survive with my two kids if I leave | WEAVE has a Safehouse if you are in immediate danger and need emergency shelter. WEAVE can also provide you with information and referrals to other shelters and transitional housing in the area. Please contact our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information. |
| I was attacked by my ex, I have no family or a job what do I do? | WEAVE has several services available such as a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop, Safehouse, counseling and referrals. You may contact the 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access these services and speak to a counselor for emotional support. |
| how can I get help, i have 5 kids and he mentally abuses me everyday and I need to get away! What do I do? | If you are in immediate danger please call law enforcement. You may contact WEAVE and get more information about WEAVE's Safehouse, how to obtain a domestic violence restraining order, and other services to increase you and your children's safety. Please call 916.920.2952 to talk with a counselor to create a safety plan specifically for you, and how to access WEAVE's services. |
| when/where are spanish counseling sessions for women with domestic violence issues? | WEAVE has services for Spanish speaking survivors at our counseling center in Sacramento, CA and at our satellite office in Rancho Cordova. The date and times vary, therefore it would be best to contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to confirm. |
| What are the procedures for putting a restraing order on your husband if he is abuses mental, and trys to beat my kids and me? | It is important that you and your children are safe. WEAVE offers a Temporary Restraining Workshop that assists you with filing for a restraining order. For more information on the workshop and the programs WEAVE offers please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| my sons dad used to abuse me,hes holding my son from me and threatened me 10/12/08,what can i do even though we are not together | WEAVE's Legal Department assists with child custody and has a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that can help you. You may access these services by contacting the 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What are the causes for domestic violence? | Domestic violence typically occurs when one partner wants to gain power and control over his or her partner. To learn more about domestic violence, you may attend WEAVE's Workshop or call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My dad yells at me and tells me I need to change. I feel like he beats me up emotionally. What can I do to change this? | The abuse is not your fault and you are not responsible for his behavior. For that reason, he is the only one that can change. There are options for you. You may contact WEAVE Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information to help yourself. |
| My husband is verbally abusive and I need to move our with my 2 kids but don't have any $. Can you help with housing assistance? | WEAVE has a Safehouse if you are in danger and need emergency shelter. WEAVE can also provide you with information and referrals to other shelters and transitional housing in the area. Please contact our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information. |
| My friend is divorced and has 50% custody of kids. Gets threatening vm's & emails from exhusband. What can I do to help her? | WEAVE has a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop and a Legal Department that may help. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access services and for emotional support. Also, it is recommended to document all the threats and use it when filing for a restraining order. |
| I think my husband is a narcissist, he has threatened me in the past, I want to leave am I in danger if I tell him? | If he has made threats in the past, you might want to develop a safety plan. You may contact WEAVE Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor for emotional support and information. The Crisis Line Counselor will be able to provide you with information about counseling and WEAVE's Temporary Restraining Order Workshop. |
| how do i get an abuser out of my house...he won't let me leave, use the phone...threatens to kill me...more | WEAVE offers a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that can assist you with the paper work necessary to remove the abuser from your home. If you are in immediate danger please call 911 or local law enforcement. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information and support. |
| was w/ bf mild "abuse" never angry, thought it was funny, is it still abuse? need help | If you are unsure about the different forms of domestic violence, you may attend a workshop at WEAVE. The workshop is open to the public and it is for anyone wanting more information about domestic violence and WEAVE's services. For more information about the workshop, you may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My ex is threating to come to school w/his cousin & hurt me. Should I stop taking his phone calls? Filed RO already | It is good that you have filed a Restraining Order. While it cannot stop him from contacting you it does create consequences for his continued harrassment. His contact with you is a violation of the order and you should document and report each contact to local law enforcement. You can document contact via missed call reports on your cell phone or call i.d. without having to take his calls. WEAVE Legal Services Program may be able to provide you with additional help and our 24 hour Crisis Line is always available to provide support. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Are there any services to help me get back on my feet quick..I left everything when I went to work and did not return | You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and housing referrals in the area. The Crisis Line will also give you information about WEAVE's Domestic Violence Workshop. The workshops discuss different forms of domestic violence and answer any questions you might have. |
| is yelling everyday at you and cuzing you out.yelling at kids abuse? | WEAVE recognizes verbal abuse as a form of domestic violence. Nobody has the right to yell or say hurtful things to you. You may call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and to receive information about our services. |
| ex-wife recently attened your meeting and now is convinced I'm dom violence person which I'm not - Do you screen your attendees? | We offer the WEAVE Services Workshop several times each month. The WEAVE Services Workshop is a 90 minute educational presentation addressing the effects of domestic violence and sexual assault as well as the services that WEAVE offers. It is open to potential clients, family of victims, students and concerned community members. Anyone who is interested in learning more about domestic violence and/or sexual assault are welcome to attend and being a current or former victim of abuse is not a requirement to attend. |
| is there a certain timeframe that a DA's office takes to determine if they will file charges on Domestic violence? | The time frame varies with every case; you may contact the District Attorney's office and ask about your case. If you need the phone number, you may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You may also contact the Crisis Line for emotional support as well. |
| My mother is in a very verbal abusive marriage I do not know if it is physical and I am concerned and do not know what to do. | Verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence. You may provide emotional support to your mother by validating her feelings and letting her know that it is not her fault. Also let her know that WEAVE is here to help. She may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access our services. |
| My husband is verbally abusive to me he calles me a whore. What should I do I have kids and I do not want them to blam me. | WEAVE recognizes that verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence, and being called hurtful names can be painful. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information about our services. WEAVE offers domestic violence counseling for you and your children if they are between the ages of 4 and 17. |
| how can i cope with my dads drinking | Unfortunately, WEAVE does not have counseling services for alcoholism. You may contact the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and information. A Crisis Line Counselor will be able to provide referrals to alcohol/drug rehabilitation centers for your dad, and counseling services that are available for you to utilize in the area. The Crisis Line Counselor can also talk to you about how to increase your coping skills and your safety. |
| How can i get mental health services if i have no insurance and i am a victim of domestic violence? I need help i'm not feeling | You may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and referrals. The Crisis Line has a list of mental health referrals and more information about the Victim Witness Program. |
| How do I overcome the uncontrollable reactions (high anxiety, shaking) from verbal/sexual abuse even after divorce? | When you are feeling stressed or anxious, you may contact WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support. The Crisis Line will also be able to provide information about our counseling services and referrals to outside agencies. |
| my 18 yr old gf gets beaten very badly on the daily by her boyfriend many witness hes been arrested once for it, what can i do?? | WEAVE has several services available for your friend. Encourage her to contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information about our Temporary Restraining Order Workshop and Safehouse. It is also important to be supportive of your friend no matter what she decides to do. |
| who can help me move my stuff and my 2 dogs and myself tonight? I have no $ and nowhere to go. Help! | If you are in imminent danger, locate a safe place so that you are able to talk to a counselor on WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line. You may call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss different resources available to you, including WEAVE's domestic violence Safehouse and other local shelters. |
| does weave have an office in Boston mass | WEAVE does not have an office in Boston. You may call the National Domestic Violence Line at 800.799.7233 (SAFE) and they will be able to find a resource center in your area. If you have any questions or need emotional support, please call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 |
| My boyfriend has physically, verbally, emotionally, psycologically abused me. He also drained my bank account. | WEAVE offers both group and individual counseling for survivors of domestic violence. I encourage you to notify law enforcement and file a report for what he did to you. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access counseling and for the non-emergency police department's phone number. |
| I lose my temper and throw things (not towards him) but in a rage. Am I provoking him to put his hands on me? | There is no excuse for domestic violence. Nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. However, it is important to know that throwing things at a partner is a form of domestic violence. In a relationship that does not have domestic violence, both partners are able to express themselves without the use of violence (physical, and/or emotional), and conflicts are resolved with an outcome that both partners feel comfortable with. To learn more about domestic violence and resources that are available to both of you, please contact WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I finally got out and after almost two years Im thinking of going back, been homeless most of that, how can I get my life back ? | Leaving and staying away from an abusive partner is difficult for so many reasons. WEAVE offers group and individual counseling that can help you figure out what is best for yourself. I recommend calling the Crisis Line at 913.920.2952 to access these services and for shelter and transitional housing referrals. |
| What do you recommend the first step in getting out!!!!! | Developing a working safety plan before you leave can increase both your safety, and increase your chances to leave successfully. Your safety is very important, please call the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to develop a safety plan specifically for you. The Crisis Line will be able to provide you with information including WEAVE's Safehouse, temporary restraining orders, and the Safe at Home program. |
| I called earlier today. My husband is mentally & emotionally abusive to me. He took my phone & keys away. help. | If you are in physical danger, please consider the benefits of calling law enforcement by dialing 911. WEAVE offers many services at no cost that can help increase your safety. Once you are in a safe place to talk to a counselor, please call the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to connect with the programs we offer. |
| im 17 i have a baby would i be able to go to a safehouse? im asking cuz of my age.. | Unless you are an emancipated minor, you cannot access the Safehouse service. Please contact the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and referrals that can help you. |
| My husband always verbally abuses me it almost seems like he hates me but yet refuses to get divorced. He has also hit me before | Verbal abuse is domestic violence and you may call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and information about WEAVE's legal services. WEAVE offers a dissolution workshop that helps with completing divorce/ legal seperation forms. |
| I do not want to return to my place of residence due to DV. Is there anyway to get out a lease because of DV? | If you have not done so to date, talking directly with your landlord about you domestic violence situation might reslove your challenge of your lease. Hopefully, they will be understanding and be able to assist you with your lease. Please call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for information about a Temporary Restraining Order and other legal referrals that may be helpful. |
| im 17 and im in a verbally abusive relationship she puts her hands on me and i dont know what to do she a she and i cant donutin | Verbal abusive is considered as domestic violence and nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. WEAVE offers teen domestic violence counseling. I recommend you call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and more information about our services. |
| guy and i get verbally abused .. physcally abuse.. when i try to hold her hands she she says it hurts what can i do ??? | Verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence and by contacting the 24-hour Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 you can gain support and information. In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other's boundaries, including both physical and emotional boundaries. |
| i dont kno how to leave my boyfriend..the worst part is that hes living with me and he threated of taking our baby from me | Leaving an abusive boyfriend can be a difficult process, but WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE operates a Safehouse for survivors in imminent danger. In addition to the Safehouse, WEAVE's Legal Department that can assist you with filing for custody. Please contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for more information and to access these services. |
| My wife and I are very concerned about our daughter who we believe is in a very abusive (verbaly and mentaly) what can we do? | Though you can not control the choices your daughter makes, you can gain information to be supportive and also learn to set healthy boundaries with your daughter. It will be up to her to either continue to be in an abusive relationship, or choose a healthy relationship.We currently offer a weekly group called "Supporting Survivors Group" that you and your wife might benefit from attending. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for additional support and information. |
| My husband accuses me of the abuse which he is inflicting upon me. He files Restraining Ords. w false info. | Please call our 24-hour Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 to speak to a counselor to learn how WEAVE can provide you with domestic violence counseling, information and referrals. Also, WEAVE's Legal department may be able to assist you with your legal issues. |
| friend was victim of DV and then one day when she wasn't home it extended to her son she has since lost custody needs help. | WEAVE offers domestic violence counseling and depending on the custody situation, WEAVE has a legal department that may able to help. Have your friend call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 to get more information about our services. |
| I have a friend who I believe is being abused. What do I do? | We have a Support Survivor Group that meets once a week. The group discusses different ways with helping significant others in domestic violence relationships. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 and speak with a counselor about recognizing warning signs of an abusive relationship. Also, let your friend know that WEAVE is here to help and to call the Crisis Line. |
| My fiance got really drunk and took my head and slammed it into the night stand.He has never done this before.What should I do? | If you have any injuries, you might want to consider seeking medical attention. There are several options available at WEAVE for you. We have domestic violence counseling and a Safehouse if you need a place to stay. If you need more information about our services or want to talk about your situation with a counselor, please call WEAVE Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952. |
| Can U help someone who left abusive situation with legal advice? | WEAVE has legal services for people who has left an abusive relationship. WEAVE's Legal Department helps with domestic violence restraining orders, child custody and divorce/legal separation. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information on how to contact the department. |
| my bf knows I havent left him because I cant make it on my own w.our two kids and i dont have much fam to go/stay with. | It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship without having any friends or family who can support you. WEAVE has a shelter avaliable for survivors and their children. Please call the Crisis Line to receive more information about the Safehouse. |
| i am in a emotionally abusive relationship and need to get out. i acted out and slapped my partner | Emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. It is important to know there are other ways of addressing the problem. Please call the Crisis Line to explore the other options. |
| husband uses abusive langage toward me and his 14 yr son (my stepson) he somretimes causes him mnor injury we also have boys 6&4 | No matter how minor the injuries are, it is still physical abuse. Your husband's behavior may escalate and it is important that you call the Crisis Line to discuss safety planning. WEAVE offers counseling for you and your children. |
| I am scared about what my emotionally abusive husband will do to me or the kids when I serve him divorce papers | It is scary not knowing how your husband will react when you serve him with divorce papers. There are several ways to keep you and your children safe. Stay in a safe place and have friends and family members check up on you regularly. If you are unable to leave your home, inform your neighbors about your husband and have them call you or the police if they see him. Please call the crisis line at 916 920-2952 to get more information about our Temporary Restraining Order Workshop, Safe At Home Program and about the Safehouse. |
| was severely abused by ex husband, divorced 7 yrs, he won't leave me alone, i suffer ptsd and yet he continues to ruin my life | We are so sorry to hear that your ex-husband won't leave you alone. One option might be to get a restraining order and we offer workshops to help you with that process. For more information and to go over some of the other options available to you, including discussing an individual safety plan for yourself, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What rights do you have with a boyfriend, not husband, who uses threats to steer your decisions? | Threats made by your boyfriend to control you are abusive. Similar to being abused by a husband or whoever, you have options, all depending on what path you want to take. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation in more detail and go over the options that are available to you. |
| Iv been beat up and hide it away for so long that he now abuses me by threats and false reports to keep me from my children! | We understand how frustrating that must be for you. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation in more detail and to go over your options. |
| my mother lives in another state, and is involved in an abusive relationship. What does she need to do to protect herself from h | There are several things your mother can do to protect herself, but it all depends on what she wants to do and on her individual situation. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your mother's situation and one of our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you some guidance and support. We can also give you a referral to a domestic violence agency that is closer to where your mother lives that she might be able to utilize or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233. |
| husband he cheats calls me names screams at me tells me get out am i abusive to him for not taking 5 yr old daugher and leaving? | It sounds like your husband is being abusive to you, which might not be the safest place for you and your daughter. However, we do understand it can be difficult to leave. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over you situation in more detail and talk about possible options. |
| i am being screamed at, called names, husband stays out all night says, other women call him is this abuse | It sounds like you are experiencing abuse because any action done for the purpose of gaining power and control over another is considered abuse. During this time, you might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about how you're feeling and find out some of your options while receiving support. |
| I need to know if i can apply for state disablety, due to domestic violence? and post trummatic stress? | It is possible, but please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and to receive appropriate referrals to help answer your questions. |
| How can I get counsling thorough you guys? I need help for myself re; always being physically and mentally abused all my life?? | It's great that you are reaching out for help. In order to get into our domestic violence counseling, you would first have to attend an orientation session. We currently hold these twice a week in two different locations. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Violent brother-in-law is lying to his court ordered angr mngmt.He threatened me for helping sister w/ ride to work. | If you are being threatened, you could contact law enforcement or get a restraining order for yourself if you would like. If your sister is still in an abusive situation, we can help her, depending on what she would like to do. Some of her options might be going to a safe place such as our Safehouse, getting into our counseling services, or coming up with an individual safety plan. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about her situation and go over her options. You are also more than welcome to call to talk about how this is affecting you and to receive support and guidance from our Crisis Line Counselors. |
| Um, I am going on 20 years of marriage, but my husband I split up last year. I need to get out of here and relocate. Help. | We can try and help you, depending on what you would like to do. We can offer you different housing options in the Sacramento area. If you would like to relocate outside of Sacramento, we can give you referrals to outside agencies in the location you desire to move to, as well as referrals that can possibly help you get there. Feel free to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your options in further detail and find out how WEAVE can help you. |
| i really need a place to go that is safe for my 6 yr old and myself due to controling and very abusive realationship | One option might be our Safehouse which is a safe place for women and their children to go to who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship. For more information and access into our Safehouse or to go over your other options, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i want to leave my husband but dont have money or place to go.can weave help me pay for divorce,find a job and give me place ? | WEAVE can help you fill out the paperwork for divorce in our Dissolution Workshops. Depending on your income level, you might be able to get a fee waiver for the cost of filing the paperwork. WEAVE can also give you referrals for finding a job, as well as a place to stay. We also have a Safehouse which is for women who are in immediate danger and trying to escape an abusive relationship. For more information and to go into more detail about your options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I left my perp. when my daughter was 3.The phys. abuse ended at birth but threats cont.- will she still be affected? How much? | It is very possible that your daughter was/will be affected. It is hard to say how much, but children can easily witness domestic violence, and it doesn't have to be physical to affect them. If your daughter is currently over 4 1/2 years old, you can sign her up for our counseling services that we offer for children who have witnessed domestic violence. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Are you still at 1900 K St? I need to get started on a divorce before husband gets out of prison. | Yes, we are still at 1900 K Street. We also offer Dissolution Workshops that can help you with the paperwork for getting a divorce. We currently hold the workshops twice a month. For days and times of the workshop, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 or go to http://www.weaveinc.org/services/legal/workshops |
| 18yr abusive marriage; divorced 7, now he wants pay no ss, i have ptsd. i go to college, and i need a lawyer. dcss already stopp | If you need a lawyer, you can call the Attorney Referral Services at 916.444.2333. If you would like other legal referrals or to talk about your situation in more detail, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| if i let my bf move back in after restraining order is issued will that order still be effective if he starts abusing me again | You cannot violate your own restraining order. However, when the restraining order is issued, you shouldn't initiate any contact that the order prohibits. The purpose of a restraining order is to protect you. If you would like to discuss this further, feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How does the safe house work? | The Safehouse is a confidential shelter for women and their children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and need a safe place to go. It is a whole program around domestic violence and once in the Safehouse, clients are required to attend support groups, house meetings and meet up with a caseworker several times a week to develop a plan of action. In order to gain access into the Safehouse, a screening process is required and it is done over our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. Please call for more information. |
| Separated from emotionally abusive husb, 10yr old & newborn, no friends. how handle lonliness,shame and stress of finances? | Transitioning out of a domestic violence relationship can be difficult, but WEAVE can offer you support during this time. For example, we offer counseling services that might be beneficial to you. For more information, or to talk to someone about your situation while receiving support, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My friend was murdered by her ex-boyfriend a month ago. Any resources friends of victims? Struggling to get through days. | We are so sorry to hear about your friend. This must be a difficult time for you and our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 is available to you to talk to any one of our certified peer counselors for support. There, you can also go over some of your options and receive some referrals for more long-term assistance. |
| my daughter was abused by her b.f. and all of her things were left. Is there a way to have a sheriff help her get her things? | Your daughter might be able to request a civil standby where the police can go with her to get her things. You can contact your local police department for more information or you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Am I being abused or is this just life? My husband has been becoming very controlling over the last few years. | It sounds like you are being abused because actions that are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over another person is considered abuse. Abuse definitely does not have to exist in a relationship and it doesn't have to be a part of life. Feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and to talk about your situation. |
| My friend is being abused by her boyfriend. Her fam and I call police but she won't admit to abuse, what can I say to help her? | It's great that you want to help your friend. It's important that you are supportive to your friend's decision on what she wants to do. You can let her know she has options and there is help available to her. You can also give her the number to our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options or just to talk. WEAVE also offers a group called Supporting Survivors which is made for friends and family members of people in domestic violence relationships. If you are interested in this group or would like more guidance on how you can help your friend, please call our Crisis Line. |
| A friend is safe now, but needs counseling from being physically abused. Can you help us find her someone? Maybe a group thing? | WEAVE offers both group and individual counseling for survivors of domestic violence. The first step to getting counseling services is to attend an orientation which we currently hold twice a week. For more information on the orientation and our services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Am I crazy? My husband does not hit me, but he yells, criticizes, condescends, cut off the credit cards... is this abuse? | No, you are not crazy. Abuse does not have to be physical. Your husband's actions are abuse if they are done to have power and control over you. It sounds like you are experiencing emotional and financial abuse. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation and find out what options you might have. |
| How do you say no and stick with it? | Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you support and guidance. |
| I am 7 mos preg, husband pushed me this a.m.; almost called police, but hesitated b/c Im scared. I need somthng to scare him! | Depending on what exactly you want to do, we might be able to help you. We can help you with getting a restraining order, divorce, or a safe place to go to, among other things. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over your options and to find out how WEAVE can help. |
| Our Neighbor beat his wife and we called police to her aid, the police arrested her and she was not at fault What can be done? | It's great to hear you are trying to help out your neighbor. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done to reverse the actions of law enforcement. However, we can offer your neighbor support and let her what she can do to stay safe in the future. Feel free to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for further guidance. |
| i am 6 mo preg. bf has rages that have escalated in violence (ie kicked in a door twice). will this lead to physcial abuse? | It is possible that it can lead to more physical abuse. It sounds like he already is starting to become physical. It is important that you listen to your instinct, especially in regard to how safe you feel around your boyfriend. You might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and talk about your situation. Our certified peer counselors can go over your options and help you come up with a safety plan. |
| I was physically abused by my husband, he broke my nose and hand, split my forehead open causing me to get 7 stitches. I wantout | We are so sorry you are experiencing this abuse. WEAVE can help you get out in several different ways. If you need a safe place to go, our confidential Safehouse might be an option. If you need help getting a divorce or a restraining order, our legal department can help. And while you're going through this transition, our counseling services might be beneficial to you. For more information or someone to talk to, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| im the woman with the two girls in sac and your info didnt help me at all i cant go to a shelter i have a job and kids in school | You can still go to our Safehouse even while having a job and your kids being in school. But, if this is still not an option for you, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your individual situation and to go over your other options. |
| once a guy soon 19 has power control over my daughter who soon turns 19 yrs old. will he improve once they into relationship? | Abusers will not change unless they take ownership of their abusive actions and feel like they need to change. There is help available to them, but they are going to have to want the help before anything improves. WEAVE can offer both you and your daughter resources and support during this time. If you would like, you or your daughter can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information on how WEAVE can help you. |
| How can I get myself and children out of a bad relationship? We're in Sacramento, CA. I have no money and don't know where to go | WEAVE has a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and this might be an option for you. For more information on our Safehouse or to go over your other options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am a man who is being "held" in a violent relationship. How can I get help? | WEAVE has services for men who are victims of domestic violence relationships. For more information on our services and to go over your individual options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How do I help a friend who is being verbally abused? Progressivly worsening situation bordering physical violence. | Being supportive of what your friend wants to do is important. Please let your friend know that there are options and help is available. You can encourage your friend to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line which is 916.920.2952. We also offer a Supporting Survivors group which is made for friends and family members of domestic violence victims and survivors. For more information on this group, or for further guidance, feel free to call our Crisis Line. |
| In an abusive relationship w/ro filed.Abuser will not leave my house & Police won't help. I fear my life.What do I go from here? | One option might be our Safehouse, which is a confidential shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship. For more information and access to our Safehouse, or to discuss your other options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My bf has anger issues. I told him to get help or i am leaving. Does weave help men too. | WEAVE offers services for both male and female victims and survivors of domestic violence. Our program doesn't include anger management classes or batterer treatment classes, but we can give you referrals. You or your boyfriend can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for these referrals. |
| if my friend and her husband are going through a divorce and in july of 2007 she threw wine at him and they got into words and | Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go into more detail about your friend's situation and our Crisis Line Counselors can direct you appropriately. |
| HOW CAN I GET HIM TO LEAVE? I HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP OF FRIENDS HERE FOR ME AND MY SON AND DON'T WANT TO UPSET THAT.POLICE NO HELP | One option might be to get a restraining order against him and WEAVE offers workshops that can help you do that. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You can also discuss your individual situation and go over some other options with a peer certified Crisis Line Counselor. |
| My X used to beat me&made me prostitute, Im not with him anymore but I am having trouble moving forward. What do I do??? | WEAVE offers counseling services for domestic violence survivors which might be a good option for you. The first step to getting into counseling is to go to an orientation which we currently hold twice a week. For more information on the orientation, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You can also talk about what you're experiencing and discuss some other options that might be available to you. |
| Statue of Limitations on Physical Domesic Violence? 8 yrs Husband was very physical @ beginging, now very emotionaly abusive. | You can report domestic violence to the police at any time. However, whether or not the police prosecutes could depend on the amount of evidence they have and as time passes, the evidence could slowly diminish, making prosecution harder. For more legal information and referrals, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There, you can also go over what options might be available to you. |
| How and what is the best way to encourage my daughter, who is in an abusive marriage, to contact WEAVE? | A great start would be to have her call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You could let her know that she does not have to commit herself to doing anything, but she can utilize the Crisis Line as a way to simply talk to a certified peer counselor. Everything she would say would be confidential and she should expect nothing but support from someone who won't judge any of her feelings and what she might want to do. Our Crisis Line Counselors are there to let her know her options while offering a safe environment to talk about what she is experiencing. You are also more than welcome to call for more guidance. |
| Which do you find to be more damaging? Physical or Emotional Abuse? | Both types of abuse, as well as any other type of abuse, can be equally damaging to the person who is abused, depending on their individual experiences. And no matter what the abuse is, the fact that it is abuse makes it not right. If you would like to explore this question further, feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Is it still the same thing if he don't hit? just goes psycho, bizzark, when talking of leaving? Calls me at work over and yells? | What you're explaining is emotional abuse and it is as valid as physical abuse. The crisis line is available to you for support 24 hours a day at 916.920.2952. |
| What is the statue of limitations on reporting a rape in California?? | Rape can be reported to the police at any time. However, it might not lead to prosecution if a lot of time has passed and an evidentiary exam at the hospital wasn’t performed after the rape had occurred. Still, reporting to the police can be helpful. For example, it might be a part of the survivor’s healing process or the report can help cases of other survivors who were raped by the same person. For more legal information and referrals, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i need shelter as i am escaping form an abusive relationship in san mateo county. i have secured employment to begin 3/3/08 . | If you are seeking shelter in Sacramento, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and ask how you might be able to access our Safehouse or get several referrals for other shelters in the area, as well as outside of the area. |
| 35 year old mom with a part time job and a psycho boyfriend 2 kids no car HELP!!!! | You are not alone. There are other individuals who have conquered similar obstacles and have come away from Domestic Violence as survivors. WEAVE can help. Call the Crisis Line to brainstorm your options at 916.920.2952. |
| How to I help someone break the cycle , that everyone can see but Her ? | You can help her by supporting her. Listen to her stories and be open to her choices. Allow her to make her own decisions, no matter how long it takes.It is important that the survivor is empowered by her friends and family to make her own choices and still have support. If you need support or if you would like to pass on our number; the crisis line is here 24 hours a day at 916.920.2952. |
| Where can I find information about statistics on women and violence in Sacramento? | Unfortunately, this information seems to be pretty limited. But, there is a section on our website at www.weaveinc.org which has links to statistical information. You can find this if you go to the "Take Action" section and click on "Additional Resources." Also, you might want to try contacting the Sacramento County Sheriff Department and they might have statistics specific to the Sacramento area. Their non-emergency number is 916.874.5115. |
| I am a former client of WEAVE 2007 and am still with my abusive husband, what can I do | Depending on what you would like to do, WEAVE can help you with several things. WEAVE offers a 24-Hour Crisis Line that you can utilize to talk to a certified peer counselor to find out what your options are. You can also talk about what you’ve been through and where you might want to end up and how WEAVE can help you get there. You can contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a 16 month old son and in a violent relationship. I want to leave and have no job, no place nothing how can weave help me | WEAVE has a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and this might be an option for you. For more information on our Safehouse or to find out what other options might be available to you, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How do i go about getting counseling through weave for an abusive relationship i got out of | The first step to getting into counseling is to go to an orientation session which we hold twice a week. For the days and times of these orientations and for more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My daugther's ex-boyfriend hits her yells at her and she will not leave him how can I help what can I do | You already are being helpful by seeking out resources for her. It is important to be supportive of what she wants to do, but you can let her know that there is help that is available to her and she does have options. You can try to encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options or simply just to talk. You are also welcome to call for further guidance and support. |
| how can i find a resource like WEAVE in the san diego area? | There are a few resources in the San Diego Area specializing in Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault services: The Center for Community Solutions hotline is 888.272.1767 San Diego Rescue Mission Women and Children Center 619.687.3720 YWCA of San Diego County Domestic Violence Services 619.234.3164 National Domestic Violence Network 800.799.7233. |
| I have 5 or 6 friends that are ready to start weave | Thank you for being a supportive friend. If you pass on the crisis line number we would talk to any of your friends who are interested in WEAVE's programs. The 24-Hour Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Do you offer any support groups? I have been seeing a Therapist through Kaiser and she recommend that I give you a call or emai | WEAVE has group counseling for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Please call the crisis line for specific information on how to get started at 916.920.2952. |
| Why would my husband of almost 31 yrs within the last 1 1/2-2 yrs seem to be "gaslighting" me when I have done nothing to him? | Various things might contribute to why someone becomes abusive, but they are not necessarily causes. And you are right that you have done nothing to make him abusive as it is definitely not your fault. But abuse is abuse, no matter when it began and WEAVE is here to offer you support and help. For more information on what WEAVE can do to help you, or if you would just like to talk to someone, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My boyfriend treats me very bad, but yet I keep staying with him every time he says he's sorry.What can I do to get out of here | We understand that there is often a cycle in abusive relationships and because of the constant up and downs it is especially hard to leave. Please call the crisis line to learn more about the Cycle of Violence and to explore your options, 916.920.2952. |
| WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND LEGAL ASSISTANCE FOR A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? | WEAVE has a legal department (free to Domestic Violence survivors) and we will work with you to get through the legal process. To hear more about how the legal department can assist you specifically with issues of Domestic Violence please call the crisis line at 916.920.2952. There are also other legal resources in the community that we can refer you to. |
| My boyfriend accusses me of cheating constantly. Could this mean that maybe he's cheating and trying to cover up? | When someone you are committed to repeatedly accuses you of cheating, especially if it is accompanied by other controlling behavior it can be considered emotional abuse and you don't have to take it. Please take the time to consider if the actions your significant other makes results in controlling, defeating or hurting you. Please call the Crisis Line to discuss this further, 916.920.2952. |
| Can actions be considered abuse if the offender did not intend to gain control or power? | There are five types of abuse; physical, emotional, spiritual, financial and sexual. If you are unsure of what you are experiencing is abuse please call the crisis line. When you are being abused in any way, no matter the result of the abuse, there are resources for you. Call the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I think my friend may be in a physically abusive relationship and won't get out. She won't accept any advice from friends. | Thank you for your concern. You are a good friend. It can be hard to see a loved one continue to be victimized. While you may want to her to leave, the decision is hers. There are many reasons for staying in the relationship. Common reasons we hear include religious/spiritual (not believing in separating her family), guilt, love for the abuser, financial, hope that the abuse will stop and especially shame. Your friend may not be recognizing the Cycle of Violence and the patterns you see. This can be reinforced by the pattern where every attack is followed by the false “honeymoon” where the abuser is very kind and loving. Unfortunately, this phase will be followed by another assault. I know that you might want to throw your hands up, but please don't lose hope. The connection that a victim of domestic violence has with family and friends might be the only way out. A perpetrator has most control when the victim is isolated and has no other option for survival. Please continue to have that connection with your friend. When you get frustrated, you can call WEAVE’s 24 hour crisis line for support and encouragement - (916) 920-2952. The crisis line is not only for victims, it is there to support family and friends – like you. |
| Escaped child abuse from mom. Dad wants to enroll me in Safe At Home Program to change my name quietly. How do we enroll? | To get more information about the Safe at Home Program please call the 24 hour crisis line, toll free at (866) 920-2952. |
| How do you deal with being victimized by the court after leaving the relationship? | Please call the Crisis Line to discuss the way the court has victimized you. We would be interested in hearing the circumstances and we offer you sympathy and support. I am sorry that you were additionally effected by the abuse that you suffered by individuals who are unsympathetic or uneducated about the repercussions of Domestic Violence. |
| a BF who is hyer Jealous..So much so he won't take her anywere out of fear another man will look at her ..Any classes for her? | An extremely "hyper" jealous boyfriend who restricts the actions of his girlfriend is not showing affection in a positive way but actually exhibiting signs of power and control. Making decisions for a person is Emotional Abuse. If you have been abused, (in any of the 5 types of abuse) including Emotional Abuse you can get help at WEAVE. Please call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952. |
| My cousin wants to leave but she says she doesnt know how. Shes scared please help us! | It is often very difficult to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of different reasons. If she is ready to leave, WEAVE can help her through the transition. WEAVE offers a Safehouse for women and their children who are escaping an abusive relationship which might be an option for her. You are more than welcome to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options and she’s encouraged to call, as well. |
| How do you help a co-worker who has shown you scratches and bruises from a recent fight with her fiance? | First of all, you are already being a help to her by showing your concern and seeking resources. Being supportive can be very helpful to people who are in domestic violence relationships. You can let her know that there is help available to her, depending on what she needs. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk to someone and to explore her options. You can also call the crisis line for support and more guidance while you’re helping your co-worker through this. |
| am 45.been in abusive relat 4 last 10 yrs since marriage ended! am at end of my rope!need help! My kids r grown where can i go | You should be proud of yourself because you made the first step by contacting WEAVE. We offer several services that might be beneficial to you including a Safehouse if you are ready to leave, counseling services to help you through the transition, and a legal department to help you get a restraining order. These are only a few things that WEAVE can help you with, and to access these services or to further explore your options, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 17yo bro lives w/our abusive dad bc his house is closer to his friends than our mums Idnt wnt to b th barrier nemor what do I do | If your brother is being abused by your father, Child Protective Services should be called at 916.875.5437 for your brother’s safety. If you would like to talk to someone about how you feel about being in your situation and for support, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There, our certified counselors can also help you come up with a plan of action and go over your options. |
| Do you have a list of AMAC group or groups like it that are no/lowcost for adults that were molested or sexually assaulted as ki | Yes, we can give you several referrals for AMAC counseling. You can access these referrals by calling our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Recently left my emotionally abusive husband. Abuse is escalating. I'm afraid to do a restraining order, it won't stop him. | Another option besides getting a restraining order might be moving away, and we have several housing referrals available. Our 24-Hour Crisis Line can help you with this, and also help you come up with a safety plan, depending on what your situation is. If you would like to talk about your situation and explore what other options might be available to your individual case, please call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My wife screams, throws things and always needs to know where I am. I'm bigger. Am I abused? Can I get counseling. I'm a man. | If your wife’s actions are done for the purpose of gaining power or control over you, then your wife is being abusive. Both men and women can be the victim of abuse and it is not right, either way. WEAVE offers services for victims of domestic violence, whether the victim is male or female. So, counseling is available to you. For more information on how to access counseling services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I just discovered my coworker's husband hit her in the face. What can I do? | It is great that you are concerned about your coworker. If your coworker would like to talk to you about it, it’s important that you are supportive of what she would like to do. You can share with her that there are resources available to her, depending on what path she would like to take. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to find out about her options and to talk about her situation. If you would like to talk to someone for more guidance please call the Crisis Line. |
| 15 yr old friend was sexually assulted.She's in prelim now but her life has sprialed downhill since the assault.Can anyone help? | Thank you for being such a great friend and sharing your concern for her by reaching out for help. This is the time that she needs support from loved ones the most. So to answer your question, yes, there are people who can help and it sounds like you have already helped and are committed to helping her. WEAVE is also here to help her. We have a 24-Hour Crisis Line where she can receive emotional support and learn more about the services WEAVE offers. WEAVE has both individual and group counseling for teens. To learn more call the crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| How can I become involved in the WEAVE program if I am from a different state? | Thank you for your interest in our organization. WEAVE is a Sacramento area non-profit. If you are out of state you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find the domestic violence agency in your area, 1.800.799.7233. |
| I need to leave my abusive situation but have a young child and nowhere to go. What can I do? | WEAVE operates a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and their children who are escaping a domestic violence relationship. The shelter is at a confidential location and it is a whole program revolving around domestic violence. We also have several housing referrals that might be an option for you. If you are interested in our Safehouse or would like more information, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 32 yr old niece in 8yr violent relship;not protecting 6yr old child; not responding to reason;auth w/not intervene | It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of different reasons and something that can be very helpful to your niece is support. You can encourage her to give our 24-Hour Crisis Line a call, even if for nothing else but to talk. We can also help her come up with a safety plan, depending on her individual situation. If you feel the child is in danger, Child Protective Services should be called. WEAVE offers many different services that might be of help to her, and if you would like more information about her resources, you can call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What should a parent do if their teen is beating them up? | No one should have to face abuse from anyone, including a parent from a child. There are several options that are available to parents who are abused. Parents may want to consider seeking a therapist for the parent and/or the teen. Legal action also might be an option. And, coming up with a safety plan can be important. There are also parent support hotlines that can help you come up with a plan of action. For referrals and exploring more of the options that are available, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I need help. How do i protect my child support documents from my ex husband whose restrainting order has expired? | If your restraining order has expired, you might be able to file for a new one and WEAVE’s Legal Department offers a restraining order workshop that can help you with that, as well as offer you some legal advice. We also have several legal referrals that might be able to help you. All of our legal referrals, including how to contact our legal department, are available at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I think I'm in a emotionally abusive relationsip. How do I know I'm just being to sensitive, or playing the victim role? | Emotional abuse is one type of abuse that WEAVE recognizes as domestic violence. Sometimes it is hard to recognize if we are in an abusive relationship if there are no physical marks or bruises, but emotional abuse can be just as damaging. If words are said with the intent of gaining power and control over the other person, it is abuse. WEAVE offers services that can help you with your situation. If you would like support and someone to talk to you about your relationship, and also for more information about our services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My Wife has been abused most of her life by her father, mother, and children's biological father and needs help mentally | We are so sorry to hear that your wife had to face abuse from a lot of people in her life. WEAVE offers counseling for domestic violence survivors, which it sounds like she is if she was in an abusive relationship with her children’s father. Being abused by her mother and father is considered “family violence” and even though our program doesn’t include that, we can give you referrals for other counseling agencies and therapists that might be of further help. To find out what options are available to her, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and she is more than welcome and also encouraged to call, as well. |
| Does WEAVE offer any counseling/programs towards people who may be the batterer? | WEAVE offers services that focus on the victim or survivor of domestic violence, so we do not have perpetrator or batterer programs. However, we can give you several referrals for counseling and batterer programs throughout the Sacramento area. For more information on these programs, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Medi-Cal suddenly changed my husband's medication that was keeping him calm. He is getting angry and violent. | Your husband’s violent behavior is wrong and there is no excuse for it. Your safety is what is important, and WEAVE offers services that can assist you, depending on what your needs are. To find out about your options and to create a safety plan, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Recently left my emotionally abusive husband. Abuse is escalating. How do I get him to leave me alone?He calls me 50 times p/day | You may want to look into getting a restraining order to help with the constant phone calls. For support and to find out more about how to get a restraining order call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a job and kids and need a place from situation is there private housing that is inexpensive that we could stay in? | WEAVE does offer a Safehouse for clients leaving or transitioning out of domestic violence relationships. Many of the women have children and are employed as well. To find out more about the Safehouse or other housing referrals please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has emotionally abused me for 15 years. I finally got out. Why do I keep going back and thinking he will really chang | It is very common for someone in your situation to want to think the person will change and return to the relationship. On average a person in a domestic violence relationship will leave and return to the relationship 7-9 times. This happens very often due to the Cycle of Violence that takes place in a domestic violence relationship. There is a honeymoon phase when everything is good and non-violent and then it moves to a tension building phase where stress builds up, since most abusers do not deal with stress in a non-abusive way that stress leads to the explosion phase which is when the violence actually takes place. Since it is a cycle it will go back into honeymoon phase where many times the abuser will promise change and never do it again, but often this is not the case and the tension building phase will start again. Many times people go back looking for the person that their partner is during the honeymoon phase. One of WEAVE's many services is counseling to help you move past the trauma you have experienced. To find out more about our services or general support please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Sis and her step son, whom she raised since he was ababy. Hsbnd is abusive, she does not have legal custody, what can she do? | Your sister can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line and ask to get the contact information for our Legal Department. Here she can get legal advice and resources to help with child custody. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Where can I get information to help my wife? She was molested as a child and I just found out. | Though WEAVE does not provide services for adults molested as children, our trained Crisis Line staff would be able to give you several referrals in your area. Please contact WEAVE’s 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I was raped 4 years ago by my exs friends, since then my whole life has gone downhill, i have no idea how to deal with it. | The process for healing from trauma is different for each individual, and the way the mind and body responds to the past trauma is just as varied. It is very common to struggle after such an event. One way to heal from a traumatic experience is by talking to a trained counselor. WEAVE provides both individual and group counseling that may help you with the healing process. By contacting the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 you can continue the healing process and learn more about the many services we offer. |
| My father-In-Law threatened me over a phone message and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. | Any type of threatening behavior, whether it be over the phone or in-person is not appropriate behavior. What you are describing is what we would call "family violence" not necessarily domestic violence. If you feel comfortable talking with your spouse about the situation and how uncomfortable it made you feel, you should do so. However, if you feel that you need to get a restraining order to protect yourself , that is also an option. For further support and referrals call the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| can my sister get her kids back after staying with her husband after she pressed assult charges on him. | Children are unfortunately many times the victims of domestic violence relationships as well as the person being abused. If your sister's children have already been taken away she will need to begin working with her CPS worker to meet the conditions to start the process of regaining custody of her children. CPS deals with each case on an individual basis so WEAVE cannot tell you if she will or will not be able to get her kids back. WEAVE does offer a program for moms who are mandated to attend domestic violence classes through CPS, your sister might want to check into this. Please know that you or your sister can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support. |
| My son is abusing his girlfriend, he has cut everyone off from her and the kids, including me, and I don't know what to do. | Unfortunately, isolation is a huge factor in domestic violence relationships for both the abuser, the victim and the children involved. The best way to support your son and his girlfriend is to let them know that you support and care about them and their children. However, unless your son is willing to recognize that his behavior is abusive and detrimental to all involved, the chances of getting through to him are slim. Many times domestic violence abusers do not take accountability for their actions and blame others for problems. Often, this is when the isolation and pulling away from family and friends begins. Safety is the main concern for your sons girlfriend and their children. In order to receive further support and referrals for you, your son and his girlfriend please call our 24-Hour, confidential crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| My daughter was beaten last night and her boyfriend is in jail. She won't tell me where she is? How can I help her? | We are terribly sorry to hear about your daughters situation. Most survivors feel an immense amount of fear, shame, and guilt that prevents them from reaching out for help during a time like this. The best way to support your daughter is to let her know that you support and care about her. However, she must make the decision that is best for her. WEAVE has a Safehouse that your daughter could access if she needs safe shelter. In order to receive further support and referrals for you and your daughter please call our 24-Hour, confidential crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| Should I accept my husbands mental and verbal abuse, since he is a great father to our kids | All types of abuse, including mental and verbal abuse, are inappropriate and wrong. And even though he might seem like a great father to your kids, children can easily witness abuse and it can affect them. WEAVE offers counseling services for children, as well as for the victim. For more information or for someone to talk to, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Can I force my physically abusive bf to move out of my apartment immediately without any notice? I'm the only one on the lease. | We would suggest that if possible you have a support group of a family member or two with you when you tell your abusive partner to leave. Please do not leave yourself vulnerable to any dangerous situations. Also look into having a restraining order drawn up at one of our TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) Workshops. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line for information regarding restraining orders, extra advice and support at 916.920.2952. |
| A friend of mine had her 3 daughters taken away due to domestic violence she recieved from her boyfriend and he threatning her. | Children are unfortunately, often the victims of domestic violence relationships as well as the person being abused. Since your friends children have already been taken away she will need to begin working with her CPS worker to meet the conditions to start the process of regaining custody of her children. WEAVE does offer a program for moms who are mandated to attend domestic violence classes through CPS, your friend might want to check into this. Please know that you or your friend can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support. |
| My partner often slaps me on the forehead when he doesn't like what I say, then kisses me like it was a joke. Is this a sign? | A very important first step is to identify the actions of your partner that concern you. The next step is to label the actions to better understand them, and to better understand your relationship. Based on the information provided in your question one could identify your husband's actions as physical abuse. Often abusers do not take responsibility for their abuse. By saying the slap is a "joke" does not make the slap on the forehead any less abusive. In a non-domestic violence relationship, a partner would not hit or slap the other person when they disagree. A healthy relationship would include clear, non-abusive communication. The next step to consider is if you want to learn more about domestic violence, and the different forms of abuse and how these effect the survivor. To learn more please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My ex b/f hurt in a some sexual ways and always hit me i keep having dreams of it and feel like i am reliving it what can i do? | The process for healing from trauma is different for each individual, and the way the mind and body responds to the past trauma is just as varied. One way to heal from a traumatic experience is by talking to a trained counselor. WEAVE provides both individual and group counseling that may help you with the healing process. By contacting WEAVE’s 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 you can continue the healing process and learn more about the many services we offer. |
| how do i get help with getting my husband out | Depending on the situation, one tool that might assist you is a domestic violence restraining order. Not only can the restraining order remove the perpetrator from the home, but also requires that they also not contact the victim after they are ordered to leave. To find out more about the many benefits of a domestic violence restraining order, and how to obtain one, please contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| If I report my husband for domestic abuse, but I am not a legal U.S. citizen,will immigration be called? | When a client receives services at WEAVE, we never ask citizenship questions. WEAVE's focus is to help all survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Immigrants to the United States who are a survivor of domestic violence have specific federal laws that apply. The laws allow battered immigrant women to obtain lawful permanent residence without leaving the country, and provides other beneficial provisions through the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)). Though WEAVE is not a expert with immigration issues, we can refer you to a local agency that may be able to answer questions regarding immigration. Contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to receive the referrals at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has sexually assaulted me on several occassions. I am so confused. What do I do? | You have many choices that you can explore on the Crisis Line. From reporting the abuse to law enforcement, receiving in-person counseling at WEAVE, or talking anonymously to a counselor on the Crisis Line. After talking with a Crisis Line counselor you may choose any and all of the choices to assist you with the healing process and increase your safety. To learn about your choices, please speak to a trained counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| When can you make progress enough so my effects from the abuse stops coming back and effecting my family or loved ones over agai | Being abused affects everyone differently, and everyone recovers at his or her own pace. Most people do feel better over time, it is very normal to continue to think about and deal with the abuse long after it happened. For many it is a life-long process of healing. Getting counseling can provide you with a safe person to talk to and skills to cope with your feelings and reactions. To find out more about the services we offer contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband is passive aggressive and psychologically abusive. Is there a program to help pschologically abused women? | One of the five types of domestic violence that WEAVE offers counseling for is verbal/emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as the other forms of abuse, such as physical abuse. Though the damage subjected to the survivors of emotional abuse is not visible as it might be from physical abuse (i.e., bruising, a broken arm, etc.), the pain and healing process are similar. Our clients receive support and guidance that are healing from one type of abuse, or all five types of abuse. To learn more about different forms of abuse, contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| my ex-boyfriend is "arestable" but I can't get the police to come out when i call with his location? what can i do? | Though it is understandable, the one thing not to do is get frustrated and give up calling law enforcement. Continue to call law enforcement and document your attempts. You may benefit from talking to law enforcement to see if they have any suggestions. You may also want to brainstorm other ideas with a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| how can i get the police to enforce the restraining order when my ex-boyfriend continues to email me? | Do not become so frustrated that you give up calling law enforcement. Continue to call law enforcement and document your attempts. You may benefit from talking to law enforcement to see if they have any suggestions. A counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line, 916.920.2952, may also offer other ideas to you. |
| Is there any way to speed up the process of getting an abusive, stalking ex-boyfriend arrested? | Local law enforcement often does a great job helping survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Allowing the process to work takes both time and patience. If you feel law enforcement is not responding appropriately to the circumstances, one option that you have is to talk to those higher in the chain of command. If you are able to express specific concerns with details, the information could both help you with your situation, and other survivors that may experience a similar situation in the future. It is important to remain safe while waiting for your ex-boyfriend to be arrested. To talk to a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line to explore other options call 916.920.2952. |
| My bf lives with me. He has been abusive physically and mentally to my girls and I. He threatens us if I am to put him out. | Though your boyfriend has threatened you if you "put him out", you have several choices to increase both your and your girls safety. One option is to remove him from your residence by obtaining a domestic violence restraining order. The court can order him to leave and stay away and law enforcement will enforce the order. If he chose to violate the restraining order, he could be arrested and incarcerated for doing so. Another choice is for you to leave the home, and stay at our Safehouse with your girls. It is a safe place that you can stay up to 45 days to plan for your future without abuse. Please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to talk to a counselor about these two options, and others that you have available. |
| My husband is verbally/mentally/sexually abusive. I'm in counseling he is not until next week. What are my options? | WEAVE offers many services that can assist you, including in-person counseling, legal assistance, and a Safehouse where you could stay up to 45 days. To explore which of the many services best meet your current needs, please talk with one of our counselors at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband is verbally/mentally abusive. I do not want to have sex but he yells at me and throws things. What do you suggest? | You have already taken a very important first step, identifying your husband's actions as abuse. The next step would be to consider if you want to make changes to have a relationship without abuse. Both you and your husband can choose to make changes if you are both willing. We strongly suggest that couples that have domestic violence issues not attend couples counseling for safety reasons. To learn more about the many services WEAVE can offer you, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There are services available to help your husband learn to not be abusive that we can refer him to. While your husband receives assistance, you could receive support from WEAVE's counseling. |
| At a time of a light-hearted card game, my son-in-law became angry, twisted my arm, causing pain and bruising? What to do? | What you are describing is considered "family violence". Physical abuse from someone who you are related to, but you are not in a relationship with. Though we do not provide services to survivors of family violence, WEAVE could still assist you in exploring your options. You have several options to increase your safety. The outcome will be based on the history of violence from your son-in-law, and your comfort level with utilizing resources available to you. The range of choices could include everything from addressing the altercation with your son-in-law directly, to trying to obtain a restraining order. The path you choose will hopefully increase your safety and also reinforce what he did was not appropriate. To better explore your options, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk to a counselor. |
| Why did this happen to me ? | It is common for survivors of domestic violence to blame themselves for the abuse (physical, emotional, etc.). Often survivors feel that they should have know their partner was going to be abusive, or that that they "allowed" the abuse to go on to long. Instead of blaming oneself for the abuse, the best actions to take are two fold: one, hold the perpetrator accountable for his or her actions. It is only the perpetrator of the violence that knows why they were abusive, and there is no excuse for their actions, secondly, by exploring more with a trained counselor about the abusive relationship, survivors can move forward. If a survivor chooses to be in another relationship in the future, to decrease the chances of another abusive relationship, it is best to better understand the past relationship. WEAVE can be a part of this learning process that takes time and support. To receive information about the counseling WEAVE offers contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband abused my son 15 years ago. I can't get past it & my kids can't forget. He feels we should. What should I do? | Others may expect that you should be ready to move on with your life as soon as they are ready to stop thinking about it. Those who understand the effects of abuse know that the trauma is not a simple thing to recover from. Being exposed to abuse affects everyone differently, and everyone recovers at his or her own pace. It is very normal to continue to think about and deal with the abuse long after it happened. Getting counseling can provide you and your son a safe person to talk to and skills to cope with your feelings and reactions. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your son to react or feel a certain way. There is no time period or deadline when you should "get over it", no matter what your husband may tell you. The healing process is a complicated and an individual process. Though WEAVE may not provide in-person services that you and your son may benefit from, you both could contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to talk with a counselor to learn about the services we offer and to receive referrals to other agencies that your family could benefit from. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| I get mad easily so does he. He talks about other girls, makes me cry and I start hitting him first but then he strangles me. | Relationships that contain multiple forms of abuse can feel confusing. Many abusers blame the victim for their behavior and call them abusive. You can look at who is initiating the abuse and if it is to gain power and control over the other person. Reactive anger is often associated with being abused. You may be assisted in understanding the dynamics of your relationship better by talking to a Crisis Line counselor at 916.920.2952. |
| BF abusing son. Want to get out. Don't know how. Scared. no money. | Many survivors of domestic violence have limited resources and are afraid but want to leave the abusive relationship. Fortunately, WEAVE can help. Our programs include: a Safehouse, legal services, and in-person counseling. Take the next step and increase your family’s safety by talking to a counselor at our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. The counselor will listen to you specific needs and give you support and practical information about our services. The counselor will be there to support you and help you find options. WEAVE has provided guidance and support to others so they could transition into a life without abuse. Our hope is the same for you. |
| How often is domestic violence perpetrated by males as opposed to females and is there a rise among female perpetraters? | WEAVE's counselors confirm our clients reflect national trends. Within heterosexual relationships, 90-95% of the perpetrators of domestic violence are male. We are not aware of any published study indicating an increase in the number of female perpetrators. At WEAVE we hope that every survivor of abuse will seek help and that each perpetrator is held accountable – regardless of gender. Some of the reasons for the high percentage may be based on the physical differences of the genders, greater financial earning potential of men compared to women, and the way men are socialized. The actual number of male survivors may be higher because there are factors that may stop a man from seeking help. These factors include fear of reporting to law enforcement and not knowing if services at their local domestic violence center are available to men. |
| Do you guys help with immigration assistances in a domestic violence case? | WEAVE offers free services relating to sexual assault and domestic violence issues. For assistance with immigration issues, please contact the 24-hour Crisis Line to talk to a counselor, and they will give you referrals. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Sometimes when my boyfriend gets angry he slaps me(not to hurt), and pulls my hair, is this abuse? | WEAVE identifies five types of domestic violence. All types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. The types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. One type is physical abuse, it is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. Even if a slap or pulling of hair doesn’t hurt, it is not the level of pain inflicted that defines if the action is abuse. It is the reason and intent of the person doing the action, and damage done to the recipient of the action, that helps to define if the action is abuse. By talking with a counselor on our 24-Hour Crisis Line you would be able to explore in more detail both the dynamics of your relationship and about WEAVE's services. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Why do people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners? | It is a myth that people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners. In Reality, people yell and hit because they are using violence to try and control another person and are unable to control their own behavior. |
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