| Girlfriend bites,chokes,punchs,slaps&is hecka rude to her boyfirend.He says he wont defend him self against a girl.What do I do? | It is not okay for someone to bite, choke, or hurt another individual. Your friend needs your support. Inform him about WEAVE services. Depending on his situation and his decisions your friend can receive individual counseling and/or file a restraining order on his girlfriend. You and he may call WEAVE's 24 hour support and information line at 916.920.2952. A WEAVE advocate can provide you and your friend with emotional support and options. |
| i have been with my bf for the last two and a half years.hes very abusive and has went to jail..im now pregnant how do i leave? | There are many options for you. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. To discuss your options and discuss a safety plan you may call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 or come in for triage and meet with a WEAVE advocate between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM. |
| I was raped 6 mo. ago but didn't report b/c of bad law enforcement experience. Is that selfish? What if he does it to others? | It is not selfish to not report to law enforcement. Many survivors are too scared to report the incident because they have a relationship with the perpetrator. Sexual assault is the number one under reported violent crime. If you feel like he may hurt others you may want to contact law enforcement and make a report about your incident. WEAVE offers sexual assault counseling to survivors of sexual assault. You may speak with a counselor about your feelings. Also, if you decide to file a report, WEAVE could arrange for an advocate to go with you for support.
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| I was raped & went to therapy for yrs. I still really like to watch/read rape scenes in movies/books. Is that normal? Am I sick? | There are many reactions to traumatic events of a sexual nature. It is not uncommon to find some attraction in reading about or seeing the same type of experience that happened to you. If this is disturbing to you, you may want to discuss it with a therapist who has specialized training in sexual trauma. You can call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to find out how to access services at WEAVE |
| Is it normal after being raped to do what he says? He never had a gun or knife. | Yes. It does not matter if your perpetrator has a gun,knife,etc. Your body should never be violated. Sexual Assault is not only rape; it is also any unwanted sexual activity. Even if you have said "yes" to sex with the person before, or you are in a relationship, no one has the right to have sex with you or pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. Any time you do not say "yes" to a sexual act, it is sexual assault.
If you have been sexually assaulted it is very important that you seek medical attention as soon as possible for several reasons. These reasons include treating any injuries,check for possible pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases and/or
collecting evidence for a criminal case. If you are with someone who has sexually assaulted you they do not respect your body. You deserve respect and to be in a healthy relationship. WEAVE offers counseling for victims of sexual assault. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and information. |
| My friend says lots of different guys rape her.Its freaking me out.Is she causing it by seeing them? | Sexual assault is not only rape; it is also any unwanted sexual activity. Even if you have said “yes” to sex with the person before, or you are in a relationship, no one has the right to have sex with you or pressure you into doing things you do not want to do. Any time you do not say “yes” to a sex act, it is sexual assault.
Your body should not be violated. If your friend feels violated, threatened and/or questions if she was sexually assaulted refer her to WEAVE's website or to the 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952.
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| How can I help 16 year old friend who was abused at 4? She's not interested in counseling but is confused & upset about memories | You can support your friend through saying you care for her. Stick by her as a friend. Make sure she knows that you support her decision and listen to her feelings. Do not tell her what she should do. When she is ready she will ask for help. Inform her that WEAVE has a 24-hour crisis line that can offer her emotional support. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| How can I help my 14 yr. old daughter? She just told me she was raped while drunk at a party. She refuses to talk about it. | Your daughter is going through an extremely difficult time. It was a great step that your daughter disclosed that she was raped. It's important to support her and validate her feelings. Do not push for details that she is not ready to give. Give her options for filing a report, coming to WEAVE for counseling, give the crisis line number, but ultimately it is her decision to seek help. Let her know that you support any decision she makes and make sure she does not feel blamed for the assault. WEAVE can offer counseling services to both of you and the 24 Crisis Line is available as well. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. You are not alone and either is your daughter. |
| where do i go if i leave and i have no phone and i have my daughter with me. will i get help right away! pls help me!!!!!! | WEAVE's toll free phone number is 866.920.2952. You may dial that phone number at any pay phone and access WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line. A crisis line counselor will help develop a safety plan for you and provide support and information for resources to help you and your daughter. |
| Im 16 and really like this 18 year old guy. I live in Virginia. Would he get in any kind of trouble if we dated? | The age of consent varies from state to state. Please contact your local law enforcement agency or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233(SAFE) for the answer. |
| im 17 i have a baby would i be able to go to a safehouse? im asking cuz of my age.. | Unless you are an emancipated minor, you cannot access the Safehouse service. Please contact the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and referrals that can help you. |
| im 17 and im in a verbally abusive relationship she puts her hands on me and i dont know what to do she a she and i cant donutin | Verbal abusive is considered as domestic violence and nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. WEAVE offers teen domestic violence counseling. I recommend you call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and more information about our services. |
| i dont kno how to leave my boyfriend..the worst part is that hes living with me and he threated of taking our baby from me | Leaving an abusive boyfriend can be a difficult process, but WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE operates a Safehouse for survivors in imminent danger. In addition to the Safehouse, WEAVE's Legal Department that can assist you with filing for custody. Please contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for more information and to access these services. |
| My wife and I are very concerned about our daughter who we believe is in a very abusive (verbaly and mentaly) what can we do? | Though you can not control the choices your daughter makes, you can gain information to be supportive and also learn to set healthy boundaries with your daughter. It will be up to her to either continue to be in an abusive relationship, or choose a healthy relationship.We currently offer a weekly group called "Supporting Survivors Group" that you and your wife might benefit from attending. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for additional support and information. |
| Is it a sexual assult when a 16yo has oral/anel sex with 18yo? The 16yo is now being humiliated by him, can she get help? | It is sexual assault when a 16 year old has oral and anal sex with a 18 year old. In California, nobody under the age of 18 can consent to sex. WEAVE offers sexual assault counseling to survivors of 13+ years. If the perpetrator is harassing the 16 year old, WEAVE can help with filing for a Temporary Restraining Order. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information on how to receive our services and to explore other options. |
| Im 16 I have been sexually assulted numerous times by friends and cousins? Why does it always happen, and how can I avoid it? | We are so sorry to hear you have been a victim of numerous acts of sexual assault. Nothing you did caused the assaults to happen. The only reason why you were assaulted was because your friends and cousins are perpetrators. Therefore, they are the only ones who could stop it. You do have several options of what you could do now. You can contact law enforcement and make reports of the incidents since what they did to you is a crime. And, you could get into counseling to help you process everything. You might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation and receive support and guidance. |
| My uncle is a drug user and he is stressing me out what should I do | We can help you by offering you referrals for both your uncle and yourself. To talk about your situation in more detail while receiving support and getting appropriate referrals, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You may also want to try calling the California Youth Crisis Line at 800.843.5200. |
| if his friends are pressuring him to go farther (sexually), does that count as abuse to HIM? | Based on limited information from the question, it sounds like his "friends" are pressuring him to do something that he is not comfortable in doing. Peer-pressure can be both painful and dangerous to the recipient. Depending on the situation, the peer-pressure could rise to a level that would be considered abuse. Even if the friends are not being abusive, at a minimum, exploring the value of "friends" that do not respect personal boundaries is a good conversation to have with a counselor at WEAVE's 24-Hour Crisis Line. |
| Is there any way to speed up the process of getting an abusive, stalking ex-boyfriend arrested? | Local law enforcement often does a great job helping survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Allowing the process to work takes both time and patience. If you feel law enforcement is not responding appropriately to the circumstances, one option that you have is to talk to those higher in the chain of command. If you are able to express specific concerns with details, the information could both help you with your situation, and other survivors that may experience a similar situation in the future. It is important to remain safe while waiting for your ex-boyfriend to be arrested. To talk to a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line to explore other options call 916.920.2952. |
| I get mad easily so does he. He talks about other girls, makes me cry and I start hitting him first but then he strangles me. | Relationships that contain multiple forms of abuse can feel confusing. Many abusers blame the victim for their behavior and call them abusive. You can look at who is initiating the abuse and if it is to gain power and control over the other person. Reactive anger is often associated with being abused. You may be assisted in understanding the dynamics of your relationship better by talking to a Crisis Line counselor at 916.920.2952. |
| Sometimes when my boyfriend gets angry he slaps me(not to hurt), and pulls my hair, is this abuse? | WEAVE identifies five types of domestic violence. All types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. The types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. One type is physical abuse, it is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. Even if a slap or pulling of hair doesn’t hurt, it is not the level of pain inflicted that defines if the action is abuse. It is the reason and intent of the person doing the action, and damage done to the recipient of the action, that helps to define if the action is abuse. By talking with a counselor on our 24-Hour Crisis Line you would be able to explore in more detail both the dynamics of your relationship and about WEAVE's services. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| How common is dating violence for teens? | A study of high school students found that 1 in 5 had experienced physical or sexual dating violence. |
| Why do people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners? | It is a myth that people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners.
In Reality, people yell and hit because they are using violence to try and control another person and are unable to control their own behavior. |
