| How can a person tell if they are being emotionally abused? | If you believe you may be experiencing emotional abuse, you have several options. You can call WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line to talk with a trained counselor. They can explain more about red flags for emotional abuse. Call 916.920.2952. WEAVE also holds the WEAVE Workshop two times per week. During the Workshop you learn more about the types of abuse, red flags, and resources available. The workshop is offered Mondays from 5:45 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. and Fridays from 11:45 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. |
| Can my boyfriends ex wfe get a restraing order against me because I went to jail for domestic violence? | Obtaining a restraining order does require that certain actions or threats have occurred. The requirements vary based on the type of restraining order sought. You can get more information by talking with a counselor on WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| my ex bf is in prison for breaking into my home and turning the gas on for our return,im scared for wen he gets out, any advice? | It is good that you are making plans for your safety now. A first step can be talking with a counselor on WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. The counselor can help you identify your resources and take steps to ensuring your safety. |
| Verbally abusive husband for 9 yrs, now I am being verbally abusive to him right back. Is this normal? | Domestic abuse can take different forms and may include responding the same way towards an abusive partner. WEAVE's counselors are skilled at working with all types of abuse and are not judgmental in their help. You can find out more about WEAVE services by calling our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| where can u fin anger managerment class | WEAVE can provide referrals to local anger management programs through its 24 hour Support & Information Line - 916.920.2952. |
| Wife yells and threatens me for imagined affairs. I've never cheated but she doesn't believe me. What can I do to convince her? | We are glad you have reached out for help. Without knowing more about your situation, it is difficult to provide a lot of information. You may find it helpful to talk with a trained advocate on WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line - 916.920.2952. The advocate can discuss your situation in more detail and help you identify options and solutions. |
| I am in domestic violence situation and need to move out, but have no place to go. | You likely have multiple options to consider. You may qualify for a Temporary Restraining Order which would allow you to remain in your residence. If you are concerned about your safety, you may be eligible to use WEAVE's confidential Safehouse program. You can learn more about these options by calling WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I just moved to the area an am looking for a support group meeting for women who are survivors of domestic violence. | WEAVE offers drop in and structured support groups for survivors. To learn more about how to enroll in a Support Group, contact our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My wife occasionally becomes irrational, accuses me of trying to kill her and having affairs. Sometimes she hits me. What to do? | An important first step is to think about your safety. You can call WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line to talk with a trained advocate about safety planning and services - 916.920.2952. |
| my daughter is getting hit by her boyfriend and she wont leave him what can i do they have 3 kids i have beg her to leave him | It is tough to watch someone you love who is being hurt. You can provide her with WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line -916.920.2952 - and let her know there are trained advocates who can listen and provide options. You can also refer her to this website for more information. |
| My wife is a self harmer. she hit herself in the eye then called police. she admitted it to them but I still was arrested. | It is difficult to provide options with the limited information provided. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support & Information Line to talk with an advocate about your options - 916.920.2952. |
| Do you offer counseling for mothers who are angry and verbally abusive to children? | WEAVE does not offer programs for the abuser or anger management classes. For referrals and information call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Alocholic husband says he wll kill me if I leve. What can I do. no job, no money. I want out. verbal abus tell me to kill myslf | You are in a dangerous situation. If you are in immediate danger go to a neighbors or friends home and call 911. WEAVE offers a variety of services to assist you with your situation. One option is coming to WEAVE for triage. Triage is available for those who need immediate help responding to abuse or violence. The triage process involves talking to a WEAVE Advocate who helps assess your level of danger, helps you prepare a safety plan and provides referrals for appropriate services. Triage is available Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am to 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm to 7 pm at 1900 K Street in downtown Sacramento. You may also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for support and resources. |
| I got hit 2night, i cant leave cuz i have no money n no job and a new baby what do i do? | It is difficult to leave an abuse situation, however you need to think about you and your baby's safety. It is not okay for someone to abuse you. Depending on your situation WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for you. Please call our 24 hour Support and Information line for resources, referrals and emotional support.
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| my bestfriend is verbally/emotionally abused by her boyfriend and she cant get out of the relationship.what should she do? | It is difficult to leave an abusive situation. Your friend does have options and she can leave, however she must want to leave her relationship. Your friend may come in to speak with a WEAVE advocate one-on-one. When meeting with the advocate your friend will discuss and assess her level of danger, prepare a safety plan and will be provided with referrals for appropriate services. This service is offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. She may also call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources and support. |
| Just recently I moved in with my boyfriend and he started spitting at my face, pulling my hair, Im scare to leave so what? | If someone is spitting at your face and pulling your hair they do not respect you. This is a form of physical violence. WEAVE offers triage services for you to speak one on one with a WEAVE advocate. Triage is available on a first come, first served basis on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm. If you need additional emotional support and/or resources call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| What is the process for getting help for my niece and her 4 children who are victims of DV if she has been arrested? | Your niece can still apply for a restraining order, even though she's been arrested, if she believes she needs the protection for herself and her children. The judge looks at each case individually, on its own merits. Her arrest may be a factor, but it generally does not determine whether she will get a temporary restraining order or not. |
| My 21 year old son, is verbally/emotionally abusive towards me and wants to move in with my ex, an abuser. Where's help for him? | Children often repeat behaviors they learn from their parents (the perpetrator or the victim). It is learned in the home by observation and reinforcement. There are programs for your son, however your son has to want to receive help. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can provide your son with referrals for counseling and various other programs. The number is 916.920.2952. Also, you may come in and speak with a WEAVE advocate through triage. Triage is available, on a first come, first served basis on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 am - 1 pm and Wednesdays from 4 pm - 7 pm.
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| im 17 and my boyfriends 19 he was never abusive before we have been together for 2 years how does it stop? | Abuse is about power and control. Chances are the abuse will never stop because the person wants control of every situation. There are perpetrator programs available, however your boyfriend needs to realize there is a problem and want to receive help. You can not help him. WEAVE offers educational workshops on Mondays from 5:45pm to 7:30pm and Fridays from 11:45am to 1:30pm. These workshops provide information about domestic violence, sexual assault, services available at WEAVE, and resources in the community. For additional information call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Last night my boyfriend punched me in the arms and legs several times because I was tapping his legs. What should I do? | It is not okay for someone to use physical violence towards anyone. If you feel that you are in immediate danger call 911. WEAVE offers education presentations twice a week. These presentations offer information about domestic violence, sexual assault, and WEAVE's crisis intervention services. The presentations are Mondays from 5:45 PM to 7:30 PM and Fridays from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM at 1900 K Street in downtown Sacramento. If you have additional questions, need information or emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband was arrested last year for DV and things are bad now. I want to flee with my kids to my parents, in Nebraska. Can I? | You may want to consider a Temporary Restraining Order. There is no appointment necessary, no cost for the workshop and no filing fee for the restraining order. There is free childcare available at the courthouse for children who are one year old to 12 years old. There is low cost parking in the courthouse parking lot (.50 per hour). The nearest light rail station is the Power Inn Station.
The workshop is held at the William R. Ridgeway Family Relations Courthouse, 3341 Power Inn Road, Sacramento, CA 95826, Monday and Friday, 8:45 AM to 12 PM. Workshops are NOT held on court holidays. Please contact WEAVE's legal department at 916.319.4905 to discuss legal aspects of taking your children out of state. |
| Husband has a mental imbalance problem an doesn't have treatment. But he is mentally, physical abusive towards me. | You do not deserve to be mentally and physically abused. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can offer you referrals, emotional support and options. Please call 916.920.2952 to speak with a WEAVE advocate. |
| I left an abusive marriage 4 years ago. When I see abuse or hear loud noises sometimes I get flashbacks. Is this normal? | Yes, some survivors of domestic violence experience what you are experiencing. You may have a trauma response called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Although PTSD is most commonly associated with the traumatic experiences of war, it can be applied to reactions to many forms of trauma, including natural disaster, rape and other forms of violent crimes. It is brought on primarily by intense feelings of helplessness and impending death. WEAVE offers counseling services to assist you with what you are experiencing. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for information about counseling and support group services. |
| he hurts me, keeps me from getting out of the house and hides the phone. What do I do? then he is sweet as can be the next day. | You are experiencing the cycle of violence. The cycle occurs in three phases. The tension phase, the explosion phase, and the honeymoon phase. The cycle is recurring. Perhaps a friend or family member can pick you up during the hours your abuser is not around or you can tell a friend or family member to purchase a "pay as you go" phone for emergency purposes. You may also contact WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for additional resources and support. |
| My husband has closed both of our joint credit cards and cancelled the ATM card for our joint checking account. Is that legal? | Laws vary from state to state regarding divorce and division of assets. You may want to consult a local family law attorney regarding your rights. If you live in or have a divorce case in Sacramento County and are not represented by an attorney, you can call WEAVE's Legal Department at 916-319-4905 for assistance. |
| My husbands anger towards my 16 year old son is starting to get violent. He is only angry to him, not to anyone else. HELP | You are in a challenging position. Since being violent with a 16 year old is child abuse, your husband needs assistance in learning how to manage his anger and parent with non-violent communication. There are many resources to help him in the community which our support line can assist with identifying. If he refuses to get help, you have some hard decisions to make regarding how to intervene such as reporting his behavior to child protective services or taking your son away so he is not exposed to the violence. It is important for you to take action so that your son learns that his father's behavior is unacceptable.
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| I love my boyfriend but he is not nice. Violent and abusive. He wants to stop his anger. Where do we go and what do we do? | It is great that your boyfriend would like to seek assistance. He may call Positive Options to deal with anger management issues. The number is 916.973.2838. Another option for him is VIP Man Alive. The number is 877.366.8935. Lastly, he may call Changing Courses at 916.332.5056 or Evergreen Counseling Center at 916.487.0657. If you have additional questions please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has beaten me once. However threatens to hit every argument. Im not comfortable with his anger. How do i get out? | Just because your husband has used physical violence towards you once does not mean he will not do it again. Love should not hurt and he should not be threatening you. Abuse is about power and control and he is threatening you to control you. WEAVE offers triage services where you can meet with a WEAVE advocate and assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan and provide you with referrals for appropriate services. Triage is available on a first come first serve basis on:
Tuesdays and Thursdays: 10 am - 1 pm and
Wednesdays: 4 pm - 7 pm. For more information and support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952.
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| My friend is 22 yrs old and a prisoner in her own home by her parents, who threaten her with violence. Wat shud i do 4 her? | This is a very difficult situation for you and your friend. Be supportive of her decisions. You may provide her with resources to receive help. Inform her of WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line. The number is 916.920.2952. A trained WEAVE advocate can provide her with emotional support, discuss her options and provide her with referrals. The advocate can also assist you with supporting your friend. |
| would my friend be eligible for safehouse while abusive bf is extracted from her apt? | Your friend may be eligible to stay at WEAVE's Safehouse depending on her situation. Please have your friend call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information at 916.920.2952 to speak with a WEAVE advocate. An advocate can discuss your friend's options, create a safety plan and provide her with referrals. |
| I was in abused and am now in a wonderful relationship with no abuse. But now I'm abusing him. why? | This is not uncommon. Unresolved anger from previous abusive relationships can erupt in present relationships. It is important to seek therapy to heal from the previous abuse and learn new ways to manage anger. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to receive referrals, support and information.
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| i have been with my bf for the last two and a half years.hes very abusive and has went to jail..im now pregnant how do i leave? | There are many options for you. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. To discuss your options and discuss a safety plan you may call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 or come in for triage and meet with a WEAVE advocate between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM. |
| Need to leave abusive bf i need a place to move to i hav two evictions cant find a place to help.but hav a job.and the money. | The WEAVE Safehouse may be an option for you. To access WEAVE services and/or for referrals call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| would like to speak to someone in person if possible, questions concerning a family member in your area. | Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. A trained WEAVE advocate will provide you with emotional support, information about WEAVE programs and referrals. |
| How do I get help getting away and into another place away from the situation? | An advocate on the WEAVE 24 hour Support and Information line can assist you with developing a safety plan and discuss safe options for you to leave the situation. The number is 916.920.2952. You may also come in for triage Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM. Triage allows you to meet with a trained WEAVE advocate to discuss options, your safety plan, and provide you with referrals. |
| What to do - first showing of physical abuse - lots of personal and financial problems and a special needs child. I feel lost | You are not alone. What you're going through is extremely difficult. It is okay to feel lost. WEAVE is here for you. WEAVE offers triage services Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM. The triage process includes meeting with WEAVE advocate who will help assess your level of danger, prepare a safety plan, and offer referrals. The 24 hour Support and Information line is a great resource for emotional support and assisting you with options. The Support and Information line is 916.920.2952. |
| Do u have any services that will work with a couple together on communication to prevent further domestic violence? | WEAVE offers couples counseling at a sliding scale fee. The couple will need to be triaged individually. Triage is available Monday through Friday from 10 AM to 1 PM on a first come first serve basis. Other agencies that assist with this matter are Family Study Center 916.456.4412 and Family Therapy Institute of Sacramento 916.967.0778. For additional referrals, questions, and/or emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| Why do most women stay with their abusive partner? | There is a variety of reasons why victims stay with an abusive partner. These reasons include fearing their abusers will become more violent—perhaps fatal—stalking them if they leave, friends and family may not support their decision to leave, they fear the financial hardships, and/or fear of losing custody of any minor children. In addition, there are periods of calm, nurturing and love between incidents of violence and the victim may think the violence will stop. The victim may also be unaware of sources of advocacy and support. WEAVE offers a variety of resources for victims of domestic violence. For more information about the services WEAVE offers call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952.
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| how do i get a restraing order | WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order Workshops Monday through Friday from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the William Ridgeway Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. This workshop will assist you with filing for a restraining order. If you have additional questions or need emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Do you have a number I can call for mental abuse from my husband? I have no idea what to do. Thank you. | Mental abuse is a form of domestic violence. WEAVE can help you. For information about WEAVE services and emotional support call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How quickly can i get out | You may talk to a WEAVE advocate on the 24 hour Support and Information Line to develop a safety plan to leave the violence. Depending on your situation the WEAVE Safehouse may be a resource for you. The number to WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information is 916.920.2952. |
| Are there any WEAVE services in San Diego? My friend is in an abusive marriage and has children. | WEAVE serves men, women and children who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in Sacramento County. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can provide you with referrals to agencies like WEAVE in San Diego County. The number for the Support and Information line is 916.920.2952. You may also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233. |
| i need to leave but i have 4 dogs | WEAVE has been responding to this barrier for several years through a partnership with the Sacramento SPCA. Together, we offer the Safe Pets Program where the SPCA provides free board and care for the pets of victims up to 30 days for victims staying the Safehouse (longer if the situation warrants it). Those staying at the Safehouse can visit their pets regularly and know they are being well cared for separate from the surrendered/adoptable animal population at the SSPCA. While it is not as ideal as having the pet(s) with the family, it is a partnership that keeps pets and families safe and ensures a victim is not forced to choose between her pets and her safety. We also work with victims to include pets on Temporary Restraining Order applications which ensures that any attempted abuse/abduction of pets as part of the pattern of violence is recognized as a violation of the TRO and can lead to additional criminal charges.
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| can someone from another county use your services? | WEAVE serves domestic violence and sexual assault survivors who reside in Sacramento County. Depending on your situation WEAVE's Safehouse does take out of county transfers. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line advocate can provide you with referrals and information for a domestic violence organization in your area. You may also call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for resources in your area. |
| Im afraid lose my 2 babies im in a safehouse he filed custody.Says im abuser,unstable im scared he'l convince he's good at it | Abusers are often good at putting on a facade that makes them look reasonable. Court mediation is designed to try to help parents create a parenting plan that is in the best interests of the children, not based on who seems reasonable. WEAVE's legal department can assist you with custody matters depending on your situation. Please call 916.319.4905. |
| I like 2 leave my abusive husbnd, will I have the right 2 claim the house even thou were in foreclosure process? | There are many factors that go into determining legal ownership of property and only an attorney can provide you with sound legal advice. WEAVE may be able to provide you with more information through its Legal Advocacy and Assistance program. To access legal services through WEAVE and to learn of other community resources, start by calling our 24 hour Support & Information Line at 916.920.2952. The trained advocates can give you more information and connect you with appropriate services.
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| Boyfriend suffering from PTSD, fine 1 min then is screaming & violent the next Cant leave bc of threats va taking 2 long 2 help | Your safety is extremely important. It is not okay for someone to threaten to harm you. There is help for both of you. WEAVE can provide your boyfriend with referrals to anger management, counseling, and various other agencies that can assist him with his situation. WEAVE's educational presentations may assist you with learning more about domestic violence and WEAVE services. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 to access these resources and for emotional support. |
| My husband spit in my face last night. I feel humiliated and trapped! | Spitting in your face not appropriate and humiliating. You deserve to be treated with respect. WEAVE can help you to find ways to remember your worth and create healthy relationships in your life. Call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 920.2952 to speak with a certified counselor who will help you understand what has happened and identify resources that may be useful. |
| i need legal advice for divorce i dont want yo lose my kids | WEAVE provides dissolution workshops the 2nd Thursday of every month from 6:15 PM to 8:30 PM and the 3rd Wednesday of every month from 2:45 PM to 5:00 PM. At this workshop you may speak with a WEAVE legal advocate about your situation and receive assistance in filing dissolution of your marriage. |
| I question whether or not I was really in an abusive relationship. I am scared people think I am just being dramatic. | Many people are in your situation. Questioning whether or not your are in an abusive relationship is normal. WEAVE identifies 5 types of domestic violence. All of these types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. These types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations.
The five types of abuse are physical, emotional, verbal, sexual and financial. WEAVE offers an educational workshop on Mondays from 5:45 PM to 7:30 PM and Fridays from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM. This workshop provides information about domestic violence, sexual assault, WEAVE crisis intervention services and counseling programs. For more information and support call our 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am scared that my ex boyfriend will find out that I had to get help because of what he did to me. Is this normal? | Yes, your feelings are normal. It is okay to feel scared. You did the right thing by getting help. It is important for you to express your feelings and protect yourself. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information Line can provide you with emotional support through this difficult time. |
| Husband who is physically abusive took his belongings and left. Why do I want to call him? I'm beginning to think I'm crazy! | You may to call him because you care deeply about him. It is normal to have deep feeling for your abuser. It is natural to feel like it was your fault and you want to make the relationship work; however love shouldn't hurt. Someone who physically abuses you does not respect you. Love is respect. You may call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line for emotional support and to speak with a trained advocate about your feelings. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| I married an abusive US citizen, i ran away. can i apply for self-petition for permanent residency? who can help me file? | You may be able to self-petition for residency under VAWA (Violence Against Women Act of 1994). You will need to speak to an immigration attorney or a non-profit that does immigration. If you reside in Sacramento, McGeorge School of Law has an immigration clinic that helps with VAWA. The number is (916) 340-6080. For more information call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952. |
| My 4 yrs. husb. raised fist, then shoved my face during an argument, VERY unlike him. Is it ok for him "lose it" sometimes? | Anger should never lead to aggression. It is not okay for someone to intimidate you with violence. Anger management may be a solution for him. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line for resources, referrals and support. |
| Publically my husband appears reasonable/rational.Privately he is controlling/hysically abusive disciplining our kids.Abusive? | Abuse is about power and control. It is never right to hit another individual whether it is your child, your spouse, your friend, etc. Spanking is not uncommon in disciplining, however spanking is narrowly defined. It is considered abuse if objects, skin to skin contact, marks being left, and if discipline is excessive. Parenting classes may be an option for you and your husband. WEAVE's 24 hour Support and Information line can provide you with referrals. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| My husband gets abusive when he drinks, he has a no harrassment order on him,I have no place to go and I am afraid for my safety | If you are in immediate danger please call local law enforcement or 9-1-1. If you need immediate help responding to abuse or violence in your relationship, WEAVE provides in person and telephone triage services. In person appointments are on a first come, first served basis Monday through Friday between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM. The triage process includes meeting with a WEAVE Advocate who helps assess your level of danger, helps you prepare a safety plan and provides referrals. You may call our 24-hour Support and Information line at 916.920.2952 for more information about WEAVE services and emotional support. |
| my BF says I have no business knowing what he does, I cant control my emotions. Am I at fault for making him mad at me? | Every relationship is different. Healthy relationships include some level of conflict at times. Without knowing more about your relationship, it is impossible to provide insight into whether or not it is unhealthy conflict and possibly abusive. Good warning signs are: a partner refuses to tell you their whereabouts but demand to know where you are at all times; a partner that gets angry and uses threats and yelling to intimidate you to stop you from asking questions; etc. It might be helpful for you to talk with a counselor on our Support and Information Line to learn more. You can call any time - day or night - the number is 916.920.2952.
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| Is it possible to get a restrainig order without any police reports? | Yes. Often clients do not have police reports. There is a box when filing a temporary restraining that you may check if you do not have a report. WEAVE offers Temporary Restraining Order workshops every day from 8:45 AM to 12:00 PM at the Family Court house. For more information please call our 24 hour Support and Information Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 24 yr old is forced to live at her parents home with her child & is being physically abused by her parents & has no where to go. | You are not alone. You do not deserve to be abuse in any way. WEAVE's Safehouse may be an option for you. The 24 hour Crisis Line can provide you with emotional support and assist you with referrals for help. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. WEAVE also provides counseling services and legal services that may assist you during this difficult time. |
| Is there a service where we can just talk to someone about our situation, thru the phone or in person? | Yes. WEAVE has a 24 hour Crisis Line where you can speak to someone about your situation. A Crisis Line Advocate will provide you with emotional support and resources to help you in your situation. The number is 916.920.2952. |
| Is there a program 4 violent men in Sacramento that you'd recommend? Do you know the book, "Why Does He Do That?" | Batterers intervention programs are an important resource in efforts to end domestic violence in our community. There are numerous approved programs. To receive a full list of batterers intervention programs in our area, please call our 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. Several batterers intervention programs which are frequently used include are Changing Courses at 916.332.5056, Evergreen Counseling at 916.487.0657, and VIP Man Alive at 877.366.8935. |
| I have escaped from a violent husband and now have 4 kids on my own. I really need someone to talk to about this. please help me | You may come in for triage between the hours of 10 AM and 1 PM Monday through Friday. Triage allows you to speak with a WEAVE advocate who can assess your level of danger, help you develop a safety plan and provide referrals. You may also call the 24 hour Crisis Line and talk with a trained advocate who will provide you with emotional support, information about WEAVE services and referrals. |
| Iown a home and have three kids elderly mom and being abuse by myboyfriend. What can i do? | It's important that you and your family are safe. WEAVE offers legal assistance and advocacy to assist you in protecting yourself and your family. Temporary Restraining Order workshops are held Monday through Friday from 8:45 AM to 12 PM at the Family Courthouse. WEAVE also has an educational workshop on Mondays from 5:45 PM to 7:30 PM and Fridays from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM. These workshops provide information about domestic violence, sexual assault and WEAVE's crisis intervention and counseling services. For additional support, safety planning and/or more information about WEAVE services call our 24 crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am in a verbal abusive relation.I want out.I Will need legal help may be housing. Can you help? I cannot live like this anymor | You are not alone. You deserve to be treated with respect. WEAVE is here to help. Temporary Restraining Order Workshops are held Monday through Friday from 8:45 AM-12 PM at the Family Courthouse on 3341 Power Inn Road. WEAVE also provides Dissolution Workshops, as well as other legal services that may assist you at this time. Please call the 24-hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 for housing referrals and for more information about WEAVE services. |
| my BF and i fight every other day but one thing he always says is "if it was leagal i would hit you" should i leave? | Using the words "if it was legal I would hit you" is a verbal threat. A verbal threat is a form of abuse. No one should want to hurt you. You deserve a healthy relationship, where you do not feel threatened. For more information and support please call our crisis line at 916.920.2952. You are not alone and WEAVE is here to help. |
| What are the solutions (if any) to domestic violence? Can domestic violence ACTUALLY be stopped/prevented? | Solutions to domestic violence require a community wide response, appropriate supports and services for victims, and accountability for the perpetrator. WEAVE believes it is possible to stop and prevent domestic violence through a continuum of crisis intervention, therapeutic, and prevention efforts.
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| Am doing my senior project on domestic violence. Would like to know if there are any counter arguments to WEAVE's solutions? | WEAVE strives to offer a range of options to survivors and the community rather than a single solution. To ensure we answer your question accurately and provide you with the appropriate resources, we would need more information. We would be happy to arrange for a staff person to speak with you regarding your project and to answer specific questions. You may send more specific questions to info@weaveinc.org.
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| I think my BF slipped some drugs into my drink i cant prove it but i tested + 4 mAMP but do not use. what can I do? | Abuse is about control. It is never okay for someone to control your actions or inhibit your ability to control yourself by forcing you to induce drugs. If want to make report, you may provide this information to Law Enforcement. If you live in the Elk Grove area you may contact a WEAVE Advocate by calling 916.627.3702. For additional resources and information please call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952.
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| I've been married for three years now to a verbally abusive husband...I'm still in love with him and feel torn about what to do | It's difficult when the person you love is saying hurtful words to you. Many people are in your situation. WEAVE is here to help. Our educational presentation on Mondays from 5:45 pm to 7:30 pm or Fridays from 11:45 am to 1:30 pm may be beneficial for you. Please call the crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a crisis counselor and find the best option for you. |
| What about the LGBT community, are they affected by domestic violence also and why is there not alot of info about them? | Whether a couple is same-sex or opposite-sex, many dynamics of abuse are the same. An abusive relationship is fueled by the desire of the abuser to have control over his or her partner. At the same time, we recognize there are unique barriers to LGBT survivors . Our mission is to provide counseling, legal help , and additional services to all people affected by domestic violence and sexual assault in a culturally competent and sensitive manner.
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| I would like to know if domestic violence and domestic abuse mean the same thing or is there a difference between them. | Yes, domestic violence and domestic abuse have the same meaning. Domestic Violence is abuse between intimate partners, where one partner is using different types of abuse (i.e., physical, emotional) to gain power and control over his or her partner.
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| do you provide services outside Sacramento? For example, Placer county Emigrant Gap California? | WEAVE provides crisis intervention services to victims of domestic violence and/or sexual assault in Sacramento County only. Peace for Families is a similar organization who serves individuals in Placer county and Emigrant Gap area. You may call their crisis line number at 800.575.5352 to inquire about services and receive referrals. |
| My daughter and I and her 3 children moved from a violent situation. Our funds are exhausted. We need beds for the kids. | You did the right thing by ensuring the safety of you, your children, and grandchildren. There is not enough information in your post to determine what types of supportive housing and rental assistance programs you may qualify for. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 and speak with a counselor. They can talk with you further about your needs and provide referrals to the appropriate community services.
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| Left abusive ex 2yrs ago, I wont go back so hes severly brainwashing our son & its affecting him deeply-so scared of ex what do | Abusive relationships hurt everyone - especially children. You have taken important steps in ending the relationship. It is important to continue to reassure your child that they are loved. You may find talking with a counselor about additional parenting options would be beneficial. You can talk with someone at any time by calling our 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952. The crisis line caller can give you more information about counseling and parenting resources to support you in responding to the confusion your child is sure to experience to support them appropriately.
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| A friend of mine is a victom of violent crime, her now ex-boyfriend broke her jaw. Is she entitled to any help? | Your friend has been through an awful experience and she is fortunate to have your support. Your friend can access counseling services through WEAVE as well as other supportive programs she may need to deal with the assault, including legal assistance if necessary. Depending on the details of her situation and if she reported the assault to law enforcement, she may be eligible for victim's compensation. WEAVE's Crisis Response Advocates and Counselors can provide her with more details. A good first step would be for your friend to contact our 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk with someone about the specifics of her situation. From there, she can get information and access other services.
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| can I obtain some kind of residency after being a victim of domestic abuse? If I get deported can I take my son? | There are options for victims of domestic violence who are not permanent residents of the United States. These options depend on the details of your exact situation. If you contact WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952, we can provide referrals for low cost/free legal assistance clinics who have knowledge of immigration law and options for survivors of domestic violence.
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| have been in 2 abusive marriages..still married but sep. 4 yrs later still cant trust men or my choices | You are not alone and the abuse is not your fault. You are making choices to keep yourself safe and the leave the abuse. These are positive steps. You may want to consider talking with a counselor at WEAVE and/or participating in a support group. Through this process, you can learn more about the types of abuse and explore your choices and options. You can contact our 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 at any time to speak with a counselor and get support and learn more about drop in support groups and individual counseling. |
| Am orig frm Sac. now living overseas. am in a vry abusive marriage. hv 2 bb.no 1 hr will help. please help. dnt knw wht to do. | This sounds like a very difficult situation where you have been very isolated. Depending on where you are living, your options will vary dramatically. There are domestic violence programs throughout the world and there may be something in your region/area. If you are a U.S. citizen you may also have resources available to you. You may wish to start by locating resources closer to you so that you can develop a safety plan for your current situation. If you return to Sacramento, please contact WEAVE as we can provide support and assistance with healing from the abuse. |
| No job. No money. About to lose house. What can weave do? | WEAVE provides services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. WEAVE does offer a program to build employment skills and help with finding a job. WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line can help with referrals to programs which provide shelter, transitional housing, etc. Please contact the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to learn more about all of your options. |
| I am moving to Sacramento to stay with family and get away from abusive husband. Can WEAVE help if I'm not a resident? | WEAVE primarily provides services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault living in Sacramento County. You do not have to prove residency to obtain WEAVE services. To find out about crisis intervention, counseling and legal services which may be helpful, call 916.920.2952. This is WEAVE's 24 hour crisis and information line and the counselor can talk about what your needs are and help provide services. |
| My boyfriend has become physically lately. He isn’t working and won’t move. My names on the rental lease. Can you help? | If you feel you are in danger from your boyfriend, please call 9-1-1. You may be eligible for a Temporary Restraining Order and WEAVE can you help you apply if you choose this option. To find out more information and when the next Restraining Order Workshop is, call the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952. The counselor can also tell you about other WEAVE services you may find beneficial. |
| My husband is abusive. He lost his job and is drinking and hitting me more. I scare for our children. What can I do? | We know the loss of a job can be scary but it is not an excuse for someone to hurt you. WEAVE offers a service where you can walk in or call during business hours and speak with a counselor to form a safety plan. You can talk with the counselor about options for keeping you and your children safe such as a confidential shelter, counseling, and legal options. If you choose to stay in the home, we can help you form a plan for your safety there, too. To find out more, call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i have a broken arm from my fiance i am scared and want to protect myself i need to report it and get help | If you are in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1 and report to abuse to the responding officer. You may also contact the law enforcement department for where the abuse occurred and file a report. Your safety is very important. You may contact WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor at any time who can help you assess your situation and develop a safety plan. During this call, you can consider numerous options such as staying at the WEAVE Safehouse, obtaining a Temporary Restraining Order, etc. You can use this information to make the decision that is best for your current needs and plan for a safe future. If you feel you are in danger in the future, please call 9-1-1 to keep yourself safe.
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| Iam in an abusive relationship is it worth it to try and make it work if i have seen progress | While every relationship takes work, abusive relationships pose risks to you and children that may be in the home. Understanding signs and types of abusive relationships and understanding the dynamics of abuse will be helpful in helping you make a decision. You can talk with a counselor about your specific situation through our 24 hour crisis line (916.920.2952) or you may come to WEAVE for a personal triage session Mondays through Friday between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m. By talking with a counselor over the phone or in person, you can get more information about your relationship and make the decision that works best for you from there. Please remember that you do not deserve to be abused and any abuse is wrong.
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| I plan on leaving my Abuser next month, Im taking my kids,,is this okay?? | It is good that you are making plans to leave. Maintaining your safety and the safety of your children when leaving an abusive relationship is very important. When leaving with children, there are special considerations regarding how long children can be out of school, custody, etc. Each situation is different. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line or arrange for an in-person or telephone triage appointment so you may talk with a counselor to assess your situation. During this conversation you can further develop your safety plan and identify all options that are available to you. You may call the 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor at anytime and to arrange a triage appointment. |
| Is it normal to feel guilty, to leave your abuser??..I have been with this person for 18 yrs and I plan on leaving with my kids. | Often survivors of domestic violence experience many feelings about leaving their partner. Some of the natural feelings could include, fear, loss, guilt, and many others. To access support through the process, the planning before you leave, how to increase your safety if decide to leave, and how to increase your safety once you have left the relationship, please contact our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920-2952. We also provide free in-person counseling to help you through the process.
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| my neighbor is being stalked by her ex-husband, he's even shot bb's into the house. Police are doing nothing--can weave help? | WEAVE's offers a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that may help your neighbor. Please call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information about the workshop and about WEAVE's services. |
| when a women is in an abusive relationship, does her batter use things like physicaln force to show who's in control? | Abuser uses physical violence for power and control. WEAVE has a Domestic Violence Workshop available if you are seeking more information about the different forms of domestic violence and warning signs. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more support and information.
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| I left a message with legal services on 11/26. Its been 5 business days and I haven't recv'd a response. What to do? | Due to the Holidays and the economy we have received an abundant amount of calls. We are calling clients in the order they are received. Please be patient. Someone from our legal department will call you back as soon as we can. If your contact information has changed, please leave us another message with your updated information.
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| I LIVE IN SAC AND WANT TO LEAVE THE AREA WILL WEAVE HELP I HAVE HOUSING JUST NO DEP. OR TRAVEL MONEY. | WEAVE offers a Safehouse for survivors in need of emergency housing. The Safehouse provides a safe environment for survivors to gather resources and develop a plan to safely relocate. You may contact WEAVE’s Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to get more information about the Safehouse and other services available in the area.
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| SINCE THE TRANSFER PROCESS TAKES SO LONG FOR HOUSING DO YOU HAVE OWNERS WILLING TO ALLOW A PERSON TO MOVE IN FIRST FOR SAFETY? | Please call our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you support and guidance. |
| I need help...I need this abusing, child porn/drug addict out of my life...he's not on lease...and pays nothing | If you believe you or any children in the home are in immediate danger, please consider making a police report. If the abuser is not on the lease, you may have options to having him removed but he may have some protection as a tenant - even if he is not on the lease. Please call WEAVE's 24 hour crisis line at 916.920.2952 and speak with a counselor. They will be able to work with you to identify your options and provide referrals for additional assistance. |
| I'm very unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 2 years keeps hurting me. He doesn't exactly make me bleed, but he'll push, pinch | There are many forms of domestic violence. If your boyfriend is hurting you by pinching and pushing you then that is a form of physical abuse. You do not deserve to be hurt in any way (physical, emotional, sexual, financial, etc.) You may attend WEAVE's Workshop which is held twice a week to find out more information on the types of domestic violence and the services WEAVE offers. You may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information and support. |
| I know of a high risk couple. There is a child involved and the issue is escalating. What can I do to help them? | WEAVE has a Workshop that you may attend to receive more information about the cycle of violence and the different forms of abuse. You may also contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information and support. WEAVE's Crisis Line Counselor is a mandated reporter and they are required to report suspected child abuse. |
| My best friend's mom's husband has repeatedly domestically abused not only my friend but also his mom. He doesn't leave marks. | It is wonderful that you are seeking help for your friend and his mother. They may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information about our services. If your friend is under 18 years old, the Crisis Line Counselor is mandated to report the abuse regardless if there are any visible marks. If you have any questions or need emotional support, you may contact the Crisis Line as well. |
| my sister is being threatened with death by her estranged husband, is there a weave in fernley nv? | WEAVE is located in Sacramento, CA. You may contact the National Domestic Violence hotline to find resources near you. The number is 1.800.799.7233. You may also call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for additional referrals. |
| how do I survive with my two kids if I leave | WEAVE has a Safehouse if you are in immediate danger and need emergency shelter. WEAVE can also provide you with information and referrals to other shelters and transitional housing in the area. Please contact our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information. |
| I was attacked by my ex, I have no family or a job what do I do? | WEAVE has several services available such as a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop, Safehouse, counseling and referrals. You may contact the 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access these services and speak to a counselor for emotional support. |
| how can I get help, i have 5 kids and he mentally abuses me everyday and I need to get away! What do I do? | If you are in immediate danger please call law enforcement. You may contact WEAVE and get more information about WEAVE's Safehouse, how to obtain a domestic violence restraining order, and other services to increase you and your children's safety. Please call 916.920.2952 to talk with a counselor to create a safety plan specifically for you, and how to access WEAVE's services. |
| when/where are spanish counseling sessions for women with domestic violence issues? | WEAVE has services for Spanish speaking survivors at our counseling center in Sacramento, CA and at our satellite office in Rancho Cordova. The date and times vary, therefore it would be best to contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to confirm. |
| What are the procedures for putting a restraing order on your husband if he is abuses mental, and trys to beat my kids and me? | It is important that you and your children are safe. WEAVE offers a Temporary Restraining Workshop that assists you with filing for a restraining order. For more information on the workshop and the programs WEAVE offers please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| my sons dad used to abuse me,hes holding my son from me and threatened me 10/12/08,what can i do even though we are not together | WEAVE's Legal Department assists with child custody and has a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that can help you. You may access these services by contacting the 24 hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What are the causes for domestic violence? | Domestic violence typically occurs when one partner wants to gain power and control over his or her partner. To learn more about domestic violence, you may attend WEAVE's Workshop or call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My dad yells at me and tells me I need to change. I feel like he beats me up emotionally. What can I do to change this? | The abuse is not your fault and you are not responsible for his behavior. For that reason, he is the only one that can change. There are options for you. You may contact WEAVE Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information to help yourself. |
| My husband is verbally abusive and I need to move our with my 2 kids but don't have any $. Can you help with housing assistance? | WEAVE has a Safehouse if you are in danger and need emergency shelter. WEAVE can also provide you with information and referrals to other shelters and transitional housing in the area. Please contact our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information. |
| My friend is divorced and has 50% custody of kids. Gets threatening vm's & emails from exhusband. What can I do to help her? | WEAVE has a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop and a Legal Department that may help. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access services and for emotional support. Also, it is recommended to document all the threats and use it when filing for a restraining order. |
| I think my husband is a narcissist, he has threatened me in the past, I want to leave am I in danger if I tell him? | If he has made threats in the past, you might want to develop a safety plan. You may contact WEAVE Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to speak with a counselor for emotional support and information. The Crisis Line Counselor will be able to provide you with information about counseling and WEAVE's Temporary Restraining Order Workshop. |
| how do i get an abuser out of my house...he won't let me leave, use the phone...threatens to kill me...more | WEAVE offers a Temporary Restraining Order Workshop that can assist you with the paper work necessary to remove the abuser from your home. If you are in immediate danger please call 911 or local law enforcement. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information and support. |
| was w/ bf mild "abuse" never angry, thought it was funny, is it still abuse? need help | If you are unsure about the different forms of domestic violence, you may attend a workshop at WEAVE. The workshop is open to the public and it is for anyone wanting more information about domestic violence and WEAVE's services. For more information about the workshop, you may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My ex is threating to come to school w/his cousin & hurt me. Should I stop taking his phone calls? Filed RO already | It is good that you have filed a Restraining Order. While it cannot stop him from contacting you it does create consequences for his continued harrassment. His contact with you is a violation of the order and you should document and report each contact to local law enforcement. You can document contact via missed call reports on your cell phone or call i.d. without having to take his calls. WEAVE Legal Services Program may be able to provide you with additional help and our 24 hour Crisis Line is always available to provide support. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Are there any services to help me get back on my feet quick..I left everything when I went to work and did not return | You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and housing referrals in the area. The Crisis Line will also give you information about WEAVE's Domestic Violence Workshop. The workshops discuss different forms of domestic violence and answer any questions you might have. |
| is yelling everyday at you and cuzing you out.yelling at kids abuse? | WEAVE recognizes verbal abuse as a form of domestic violence. Nobody has the right to yell or say hurtful things to you. You may call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and to receive information about our services. |
| ex-wife recently attened your meeting and now is convinced I'm dom violence person which I'm not - Do you screen your attendees? | We offer the WEAVE Services Workshop several times each month. The WEAVE Services Workshop is a 90 minute educational presentation addressing the effects of domestic violence and sexual assault as well as the services that WEAVE offers. It is open to potential clients, family of victims, students and concerned community members. Anyone who is interested in learning more about domestic violence and/or sexual assault are welcome to attend and being a current or former victim of abuse is not a requirement to attend. |
| is there a certain timeframe that a DA's office takes to determine if they will file charges on Domestic violence? | The time frame varies with every case; you may contact the District Attorney's office and ask about your case. If you need the phone number, you may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You may also contact the Crisis Line for emotional support as well. |
| My mother is in a very verbal abusive marriage I do not know if it is physical and I am concerned and do not know what to do. | Verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence. You may provide emotional support to your mother by validating her feelings and letting her know that it is not her fault. Also let her know that WEAVE is here to help. She may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access our services. |
| My husband is verbally abusive to me he calles me a whore. What should I do I have kids and I do not want them to blam me. | WEAVE recognizes that verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence, and being called hurtful names can be painful. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and information about our services. WEAVE offers domestic violence counseling for you and your children if they are between the ages of 4 and 17. |
| how can i cope with my dads drinking | Unfortunately, WEAVE does not have counseling services for alcoholism. You may contact the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support and information. A Crisis Line Counselor will be able to provide referrals to alcohol/drug rehabilitation centers for your dad, and counseling services that are available for you to utilize in the area. The Crisis Line Counselor can also talk to you about how to increase your coping skills and your safety. |
| How can i get mental health services if i have no insurance and i am a victim of domestic violence? I need help i'm not feeling | You may contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and referrals. The Crisis Line has a list of mental health referrals and more information about the Victim Witness Program. |
| How do I overcome the uncontrollable reactions (high anxiety, shaking) from verbal/sexual abuse even after divorce? | When you are feeling stressed or anxious, you may contact WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for emotional support. The Crisis Line will also be able to provide information about our counseling services and referrals to outside agencies. |
| my 18 yr old gf gets beaten very badly on the daily by her boyfriend many witness hes been arrested once for it, what can i do?? | WEAVE has several services available for your friend. Encourage her to contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information about our Temporary Restraining Order Workshop and Safehouse. It is also important to be supportive of your friend no matter what she decides to do. |
| who can help me move my stuff and my 2 dogs and myself tonight? I have no $ and nowhere to go. Help! | If you are in imminent danger, locate a safe place so that you are able to talk to a counselor on WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line. You may call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss different resources available to you, including WEAVE's domestic violence Safehouse and other local shelters. |
| does weave have an office in Boston mass | WEAVE does not have an office in Boston. You may call the National Domestic Violence Line at 800.799.7233 (SAFE) and they will be able to find a resource center in your area. If you have any questions or need emotional support, please call WEAVE's Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 |
| My boyfriend has physically, verbally, emotionally, psycologically abused me. He also drained my bank account. | WEAVE offers both group and individual counseling for survivors of domestic violence. I encourage you to notify law enforcement and file a report for what he did to you. You may contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to access counseling and for the non-emergency police department's phone number. |
| I lose my temper and throw things (not towards him) but in a rage. Am I provoking him to put his hands on me? | There is no excuse for domestic violence. Nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. However, it is important to know that throwing things at a partner is a form of domestic violence. In a relationship that does not have domestic violence, both partners are able to express themselves without the use of violence (physical, and/or emotional), and conflicts are resolved with an outcome that both partners feel comfortable with. To learn more about domestic violence and resources that are available to both of you, please contact WEAVE's 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I finally got out and after almost two years Im thinking of going back, been homeless most of that, how can I get my life back ? | Leaving and staying away from an abusive partner is difficult for so many reasons. WEAVE offers group and individual counseling that can help you figure out what is best for yourself. I recommend calling the Crisis Line at 913.920.2952 to access these services and for shelter and transitional housing referrals. |
| What do you recommend the first step in getting out!!!!! | Developing a working safety plan before you leave can increase both your safety, and increase your chances to leave successfully. Your safety is very important, please call the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to develop a safety plan specifically for you. The Crisis Line will be able to provide you with information including WEAVE's Safehouse, temporary restraining orders, and the Safe at Home program. |
| I called earlier today. My husband is mentally & emotionally abusive to me. He took my phone & keys away. help. | If you are in physical danger, please consider the benefits of calling law enforcement by dialing 911. WEAVE offers many services at no cost that can help increase your safety. Once you are in a safe place to talk to a counselor, please call the 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to connect with the programs we offer. |
| im 17 i have a baby would i be able to go to a safehouse? im asking cuz of my age.. | Unless you are an emancipated minor, you cannot access the Safehouse service. Please contact the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and referrals that can help you. |
| My husband always verbally abuses me it almost seems like he hates me but yet refuses to get divorced. He has also hit me before | Verbal abuse is domestic violence and you may call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and information about WEAVE's legal services. WEAVE offers a dissolution workshop that helps with completing divorce/ legal seperation forms. |
| I do not want to return to my place of residence due to DV. Is there anyway to get out a lease because of DV? | If you have not done so to date, talking directly with your landlord about you domestic violence situation might reslove your challenge of your lease. Hopefully, they will be understanding and be able to assist you with your lease. Please call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for information about a Temporary Restraining Order and other legal referrals that may be helpful. |
| im 17 and im in a verbally abusive relationship she puts her hands on me and i dont know what to do she a she and i cant donutin | Verbal abusive is considered as domestic violence and nobody has the right to put their hands on you without your consent. WEAVE offers teen domestic violence counseling. I recommend you call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for support and more information about our services. |
| guy and i get verbally abused .. physcally abuse.. when i try to hold her hands she she says it hurts what can i do ??? | Verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence and by contacting the 24-hour Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 you can gain support and information. In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other's boundaries, including both physical and emotional boundaries. |
| i dont kno how to leave my boyfriend..the worst part is that hes living with me and he threated of taking our baby from me | Leaving an abusive boyfriend can be a difficult process, but WEAVE is here to help. WEAVE operates a Safehouse for survivors in imminent danger. In addition to the Safehouse, WEAVE's Legal Department that can assist you with filing for custody. Please contact WEAVE's Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for more information and to access these services. |
| My wife and I are very concerned about our daughter who we believe is in a very abusive (verbaly and mentaly) what can we do? | Though you can not control the choices your daughter makes, you can gain information to be supportive and also learn to set healthy boundaries with your daughter. It will be up to her to either continue to be in an abusive relationship, or choose a healthy relationship.We currently offer a weekly group called "Supporting Survivors Group" that you and your wife might benefit from attending. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 for additional support and information. |
| My husband accuses me of the abuse which he is inflicting upon me. He files Restraining Ords. w false info. | Please call our 24-hour Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 to speak to a counselor to learn how WEAVE can provide you with domestic violence counseling, information and referrals. Also, WEAVE's Legal department may be able to assist you with your legal issues. |
| friend was victim of DV and then one day when she wasn't home it extended to her son she has since lost custody needs help. | WEAVE offers domestic violence counseling and depending on the custody situation, WEAVE has a legal department that may able to help. Have your friend call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 to get more information about our services. |
| I have a friend who I believe is being abused. What do I do? | We have a Support Survivor Group that meets once a week. The group discusses different ways with helping significant others in domestic violence relationships. You may also call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952 and speak with a counselor about recognizing warning signs of an abusive relationship. Also, let your friend know that WEAVE is here to help and to call the Crisis Line. |
| My fiance got really drunk and took my head and slammed it into the night stand.He has never done this before.What should I do? | If you have any injuries, you might want to consider seeking medical attention. There are several options available at WEAVE for you. We have domestic violence counseling and a Safehouse if you need a place to stay. If you need more information about our services or want to talk about your situation with a counselor, please call WEAVE Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952. |
| Can U help someone who left abusive situation with legal advice? | WEAVE has legal services for people who has left an abusive relationship. WEAVE's Legal Department helps with domestic violence restraining orders, child custody and divorce/legal separation. Please call the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for information on how to contact the department. |
| my bf knows I havent left him because I cant make it on my own w.our two kids and i dont have much fam to go/stay with. | It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship without having any friends or family who can support you. WEAVE has a shelter avaliable for survivors and their children. Please call the Crisis Line to receive more information about the Safehouse. |
| i am in a emotionally abusive relationship and need to get out. i acted out and slapped my partner | Emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. It is important to know there are other ways of addressing the problem. Please call the Crisis Line to explore the other options. |
| husband uses abusive langage toward me and his 14 yr son (my stepson) he somretimes causes him mnor injury we also have boys 6&4 | No matter how minor the injuries are, it is still physical abuse. Your husband's behavior may escalate and it is important that you call the Crisis Line to discuss safety planning. WEAVE offers counseling for you and your children. |
| I am scared about what my emotionally abusive husband will do to me or the kids when I serve him divorce papers | It is scary not knowing how your husband will react when you serve him with divorce papers. There are several ways to keep you and your children safe. Stay in a safe place and have friends and family members check up on you regularly. If you are unable to leave your home, inform your neighbors about your husband and have them call you or the police if they see him. Please call the crisis line at 916 920-2952 to get more information about our Temporary Restraining Order Workshop, Safe At Home Program and about the Safehouse. |
| was severely abused by ex husband, divorced 7 yrs, he won't leave me alone, i suffer ptsd and yet he continues to ruin my life | We are so sorry to hear that your ex-husband won't leave you alone. One option might be to get a restraining order and we offer workshops to help you with that process. For more information and to go over some of the other options available to you, including discussing an individual safety plan for yourself, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What rights do you have with a boyfriend, not husband, who uses threats to steer your decisions? | Threats made by your boyfriend to control you are abusive. Similar to being abused by a husband or whoever, you have options, all depending on what path you want to take. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation in more detail and go over the options that are available to you. |
| Iv been beat up and hide it away for so long that he now abuses me by threats and false reports to keep me from my children! | We understand how frustrating that must be for you. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation in more detail and to go over your options. |
| my mother lives in another state, and is involved in an abusive relationship. What does she need to do to protect herself from h | There are several things your mother can do to protect herself, but it all depends on what she wants to do and on her individual situation. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your mother's situation and one of our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you some guidance and support. We can also give you a referral to a domestic violence agency that is closer to where your mother lives that she might be able to utilize or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233. |
| husband he cheats calls me names screams at me tells me get out am i abusive to him for not taking 5 yr old daugher and leaving? | It sounds like your husband is being abusive to you, which might not be the safest place for you and your daughter. However, we do understand it can be difficult to leave. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over you situation in more detail and talk about possible options. |
| i am being screamed at, called names, husband stays out all night says, other women call him is this abuse | It sounds like you are experiencing abuse because any action done for the purpose of gaining power and control over another is considered abuse. During this time, you might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about how you're feeling and find out some of your options while receiving support. |
| I need to know if i can apply for state disablety, due to domestic violence? and post trummatic stress? | It is possible, but please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and to receive appropriate referrals to help answer your questions. |
| How can I get counsling thorough you guys? I need help for myself re; always being physically and mentally abused all my life?? | It's great that you are reaching out for help. In order to get into our domestic violence counseling, you would first have to attend an orientation session. We currently hold these twice a week in two different locations. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Violent brother-in-law is lying to his court ordered angr mngmt.He threatened me for helping sister w/ ride to work. | If you are being threatened, you could contact law enforcement or get a restraining order for yourself if you would like. If your sister is still in an abusive situation, we can help her, depending on what she would like to do. Some of her options might be going to a safe place such as our Safehouse, getting into our counseling services, or coming up with an individual safety plan. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about her situation and go over her options. You are also more than welcome to call to talk about how this is affecting you and to receive support and guidance from our Crisis Line Counselors. |
| Um, I am going on 20 years of marriage, but my husband I split up last year. I need to get out of here and relocate. Help. | We can try and help you, depending on what you would like to do. We can offer you different housing options in the Sacramento area. If you would like to relocate outside of Sacramento, we can give you referrals to outside agencies in the location you desire to move to, as well as referrals that can possibly help you get there. Feel free to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your options in further detail and find out how WEAVE can help you. |
| i really need a place to go that is safe for my 6 yr old and myself due to controling and very abusive realationship | One option might be our Safehouse which is a safe place for women and their children to go to who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship. For more information and access into our Safehouse or to go over your other options, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i want to leave my husband but dont have money or place to go.can weave help me pay for divorce,find a job and give me place ? | WEAVE can help you fill out the paperwork for divorce in our Dissolution Workshops. Depending on your income level, you might be able to get a fee waiver for the cost of filing the paperwork. WEAVE can also give you referrals for finding a job, as well as a place to stay. We also have a Safehouse which is for women who are in immediate danger and trying to escape an abusive relationship. For more information and to go into more detail about your options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I left my perp. when my daughter was 3.The phys. abuse ended at birth but threats cont.- will she still be affected? How much? | It is very possible that your daughter was/will be affected. It is hard to say how much, but children can easily witness domestic violence, and it doesn't have to be physical to affect them. If your daughter is currently over 4 1/2 years old, you can sign her up for our counseling services that we offer for children who have witnessed domestic violence. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Are you still at 1900 K St? I need to get started on a divorce before husband gets out of prison. | Yes, we are still at 1900 K Street. We also offer Dissolution Workshops that can help you with the paperwork for getting a divorce. We currently hold the workshops twice a month. For days and times of the workshop, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 or go to http://www.weaveinc.org/services/legal/workshops |
| 18yr abusive marriage; divorced 7, now he wants pay no ss, i have ptsd. i go to college, and i need a lawyer. dcss already stopp | If you need a lawyer, you can call the Attorney Referral Services at 916.444.2333. If you would like other legal referrals or to talk about your situation in more detail, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| if i let my bf move back in after restraining order is issued will that order still be effective if he starts abusing me again | You cannot violate your own restraining order. However, when the restraining order is issued, you shouldn't initiate any contact that the order prohibits. The purpose of a restraining order is to protect you. If you would like to discuss this further, feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How does the safe house work? | The Safehouse is a confidential shelter for women and their children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and need a safe place to go. It is a whole program around domestic violence and once in the Safehouse, clients are required to attend support groups, house meetings and meet up with a caseworker several times a week to develop a plan of action. In order to gain access into the Safehouse, a screening process is required and it is done over our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. Please call for more information. |
| Separated from emotionally abusive husb, 10yr old & newborn, no friends. how handle lonliness,shame and stress of finances? | Transitioning out of a domestic violence relationship can be difficult, but WEAVE can offer you support during this time. For example, we offer counseling services that might be beneficial to you. For more information, or to talk to someone about your situation while receiving support, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My friend was murdered by her ex-boyfriend a month ago. Any resources friends of victims? Struggling to get through days. | We are so sorry to hear about your friend. This must be a difficult time for you and our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 is available to you to talk to any one of our certified peer counselors for support. There, you can also go over some of your options and receive some referrals for more long-term assistance. |
| my daughter was abused by her b.f. and all of her things were left. Is there a way to have a sheriff help her get her things? | Your daughter might be able to request a civil standby where the police can go with her to get her things. You can contact your local police department for more information or you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Am I being abused or is this just life? My husband has been becoming very controlling over the last few years. | It sounds like you are being abused because actions that are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over another person is considered abuse. Abuse definitely does not have to exist in a relationship and it doesn't have to be a part of life. Feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support and to talk about your situation. |
| My friend is being abused by her boyfriend. Her fam and I call police but she won't admit to abuse, what can I say to help her? | It's great that you want to help your friend. It's important that you are supportive to your friend's decision on what she wants to do. You can let her know she has options and there is help available to her. You can also give her the number to our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options or just to talk. WEAVE also offers a group called Supporting Survivors which is made for friends and family members of people in domestic violence relationships. If you are interested in this group or would like more guidance on how you can help your friend, please call our Crisis Line. |
| A friend is safe now, but needs counseling from being physically abused. Can you help us find her someone? Maybe a group thing? | WEAVE offers both group and individual counseling for survivors of domestic violence. The first step to getting counseling services is to attend an orientation which we currently hold twice a week. For more information on the orientation and our services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Am I crazy? My husband does not hit me, but he yells, criticizes, condescends, cut off the credit cards... is this abuse? | No, you are not crazy. Abuse does not have to be physical. Your husband's actions are abuse if they are done to have power and control over you. It sounds like you are experiencing emotional and financial abuse. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk about your situation and find out what options you might have. |
| How do you say no and stick with it? | Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your situation in more detail and our Crisis Line Counselors can offer you support and guidance. |
| I am 7 mos preg, husband pushed me this a.m.; almost called police, but hesitated b/c Im scared. I need somthng to scare him! | Depending on what exactly you want to do, we might be able to help you. We can help you with getting a restraining order, divorce, or a safe place to go to, among other things. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over your options and to find out how WEAVE can help. |
| Our Neighbor beat his wife and we called police to her aid, the police arrested her and she was not at fault What can be done? | It's great to hear you are trying to help out your neighbor. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done to reverse the actions of law enforcement. However, we can offer your neighbor support and let her what she can do to stay safe in the future. Feel free to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for further guidance. |
| i am 6 mo preg. bf has rages that have escalated in violence (ie kicked in a door twice). will this lead to physcial abuse? | It is possible that it can lead to more physical abuse. It sounds like he already is starting to become physical. It is important that you listen to your instinct, especially in regard to how safe you feel around your boyfriend. You might want to contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and talk about your situation. Our certified peer counselors can go over your options and help you come up with a safety plan. |
| I was physically abused by my husband, he broke my nose and hand, split my forehead open causing me to get 7 stitches. I wantout | We are so sorry you are experiencing this abuse. WEAVE can help you get out in several different ways. If you need a safe place to go, our confidential Safehouse might be an option. If you need help getting a divorce or a restraining order, our legal department can help. And while you're going through this transition, our counseling services might be beneficial to you. For more information or someone to talk to, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| im the woman with the two girls in sac and your info didnt help me at all i cant go to a shelter i have a job and kids in school | You can still go to our Safehouse even while having a job and your kids being in school. But, if this is still not an option for you, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to discuss your individual situation and to go over your other options. |
| once a guy soon 19 has power control over my daughter who soon turns 19 yrs old. will he improve once they into relationship? | Abusers will not change unless they take ownership of their abusive actions and feel like they need to change. There is help available to them, but they are going to have to want the help before anything improves. WEAVE can offer both you and your daughter resources and support during this time. If you would like, you or your daughter can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for more information on how WEAVE can help you. |
| How can I get myself and children out of a bad relationship? We're in Sacramento, CA. I have no money and don't know where to go | WEAVE has a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and this might be an option for you. For more information on our Safehouse or to go over your other options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I am a man who is being "held" in a violent relationship. How can I get help? | WEAVE has services for men who are victims of domestic violence relationships. For more information on our services and to go over your individual options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How do I help a friend who is being verbally abused? Progressivly worsening situation bordering physical violence. | Being supportive of what your friend wants to do is important. Please let your friend know that there are options and help is available. You can encourage your friend to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line which is 916.920.2952. We also offer a Supporting Survivors group which is made for friends and family members of domestic violence victims and survivors. For more information on this group, or for further guidance, feel free to call our Crisis Line. |
| In an abusive relationship w/ro filed.Abuser will not leave my house & Police won't help. I fear my life.What do I go from here? | One option might be our Safehouse, which is a confidential shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship. For more information and access to our Safehouse, or to discuss your other options, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My bf has anger issues. I told him to get help or i am leaving. Does weave help men too. | WEAVE offers services for both male and female victims and survivors of domestic violence. Our program doesn't include anger management classes or batterer treatment classes, but we can give you referrals. You or your boyfriend can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for these referrals. |
| if my friend and her husband are going through a divorce and in july of 2007 she threw wine at him and they got into words and | Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go into more detail about your friend's situation and our Crisis Line Counselors can direct you appropriately. |
| HOW CAN I GET HIM TO LEAVE? I HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP OF FRIENDS HERE FOR ME AND MY SON AND DON'T WANT TO UPSET THAT.POLICE NO HELP | One option might be to get a restraining order against him and WEAVE offers workshops that can help you do that. For more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You can also discuss your individual situation and go over some other options with a peer certified Crisis Line Counselor. |
| My X used to beat me&made me prostitute, Im not with him anymore but I am having trouble moving forward. What do I do??? | WEAVE offers counseling services for domestic violence survivors which might be a good option for you. The first step to getting into counseling is to go to an orientation which we currently hold twice a week. For more information on the orientation, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You can also talk about what you're experiencing and discuss some other options that might be available to you. |
| Statue of Limitations on Physical Domesic Violence? 8 yrs Husband was very physical @ beginging, now very emotionaly abusive. | You can report domestic violence to the police at any time. However, whether or not the police prosecutes could depend on the amount of evidence they have and as time passes, the evidence could slowly diminish, making prosecution harder. For more legal information and referrals, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There, you can also go over what options might be available to you. |
| How and what is the best way to encourage my daughter, who is in an abusive marriage, to contact WEAVE? | A great start would be to have her call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. You could let her know that she does not have to commit herself to doing anything, but she can utilize the Crisis Line as a way to simply talk to a certified peer counselor. Everything she would say would be confidential and she should expect nothing but support from someone who won't judge any of her feelings and what she might want to do. Our Crisis Line Counselors are there to let her know her options while offering a safe environment to talk about what she is experiencing. You are also more than welcome to call for more guidance. |
| Which do you find to be more damaging? Physical or Emotional Abuse? | Both types of abuse, as well as any other type of abuse, can be equally damaging to the person who is abused, depending on their individual experiences. And no matter what the abuse is, the fact that it is abuse makes it not right. If you would like to explore this question further, feel free to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Is it still the same thing if he don't hit? just goes psycho, bizzark, when talking of leaving? Calls me at work over and yells? | What you're explaining is emotional abuse and it is as valid as physical abuse. The crisis line is available to you for support 24 hours a day at 916.920.2952. |
| What is the statue of limitations on reporting a rape in California?? | Rape can be reported to the police at any time. However, it might not lead to prosecution if a lot of time has passed and an evidentiary exam at the hospital wasn’t performed after the rape had occurred. Still, reporting to the police can be helpful. For example, it might be a part of the survivor’s healing process or the report can help cases of other survivors who were raped by the same person. For more legal information and referrals, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| i need shelter as i am escaping form an abusive relationship in san mateo county. i have secured employment to begin 3/3/08 . | If you are seeking shelter in Sacramento, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and ask how you might be able to access our Safehouse or get several referrals for other shelters in the area, as well as outside of the area. |
| 35 year old mom with a part time job and a psycho boyfriend 2 kids no car HELP!!!! | You are not alone. There are other individuals who have conquered similar obstacles and have come away from Domestic Violence as survivors. WEAVE can help. Call the Crisis Line to brainstorm your options at 916.920.2952. |
| How to I help someone break the cycle , that everyone can see but Her ? | You can help her by supporting her. Listen to her stories and be open to her choices. Allow her to make her own decisions, no matter how long it takes.It is important that the survivor is empowered by her friends and family to make her own choices and still have support. If you need support or if you would like to pass on our number; the crisis line is here 24 hours a day at 916.920.2952. |
| Where can I find information about statistics on women and violence in Sacramento? | Unfortunately, this information seems to be pretty limited. But, there is a section on our website at www.weaveinc.org which has links to statistical information. You can find this if you go to the "Take Action" section and click on "Additional Resources." Also, you might want to try contacting the Sacramento County Sheriff Department and they might have statistics specific to the Sacramento area. Their non-emergency number is 916.874.5115. |
| I am a former client of WEAVE 2007 and am still with my abusive husband, what can I do | Depending on what you would like to do, WEAVE can help you with several things. WEAVE offers a 24-Hour Crisis Line that you can utilize to talk to a certified peer counselor to find out what your options are. You can also talk about what you’ve been through and where you might want to end up and how WEAVE can help you get there. You can contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a 16 month old son and in a violent relationship. I want to leave and have no job, no place nothing how can weave help me | WEAVE has a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and children who are trying to escape a domestic violence relationship and this might be an option for you. For more information on our Safehouse or to find out what other options might be available to you, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| How do i go about getting counseling through weave for an abusive relationship i got out of | The first step to getting into counseling is to go to an orientation session which we hold twice a week. For the days and times of these orientations and for more information, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My daugther's ex-boyfriend hits her yells at her and she will not leave him how can I help what can I do | You already are being helpful by seeking out resources for her. It is important to be supportive of what she wants to do, but you can let her know that there is help that is available to her and she does have options. You can try to encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options or simply just to talk. You are also welcome to call for further guidance and support. |
| how can i find a resource like WEAVE in the san diego area? | There are a few resources in the San Diego Area specializing in Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault services:
The Center for Community Solutions hotline is 888.272.1767
San Diego Rescue Mission Women and Children Center 619.687.3720
YWCA of San Diego County Domestic Violence Services 619.234.3164
National Domestic Violence Network 800.799.7233. |
| I have 5 or 6 friends that are ready to start weave | Thank you for being a supportive friend. If you pass on the crisis line number we would talk to any of your friends who are interested in WEAVE's programs. The 24-Hour Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Do you offer any support groups? I have been seeing a Therapist through Kaiser and she recommend that I give you a call or emai | WEAVE has group counseling for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Please call the crisis line for specific information on how to get started at 916.920.2952. |
| Why would my husband of almost 31 yrs within the last 1 1/2-2 yrs seem to be "gaslighting" me when I have done nothing to him? | Various things might contribute to why someone becomes abusive, but they are not necessarily causes. And you are right that you have done nothing to make him abusive as it is definitely not your fault. But abuse is abuse, no matter when it began and WEAVE is here to offer you support and help. For more information on what WEAVE can do to help you, or if you would just like to talk to someone, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My boyfriend treats me very bad, but yet I keep staying with him every time he says he's sorry.What can I do to get out of here | We understand that there is often a cycle in abusive relationships and because of the constant up and downs it is especially hard to leave. Please call the crisis line to learn more about the Cycle of Violence and to explore your options, 916.920.2952. |
| WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND LEGAL ASSISTANCE FOR A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? | WEAVE has a legal department (free to Domestic Violence survivors) and we will work with you to get through the legal process. To hear more about how the legal department can assist you specifically with issues of Domestic Violence please call the crisis line at 916.920.2952. There are also other legal resources in the community that we can refer you to. |
| My boyfriend accusses me of cheating constantly. Could this mean that maybe he's cheating and trying to cover up? | When someone you are committed to repeatedly accuses you of cheating, especially if it is accompanied by other controlling behavior it can be considered emotional abuse and you don't have to take it. Please take the time to consider if the actions your significant other makes results in controlling, defeating or hurting you. Please call the Crisis Line to discuss this further, 916.920.2952. |
| Can actions be considered abuse if the offender did not intend to gain control or power? | There are five types of abuse; physical, emotional, spiritual, financial and sexual. If you are unsure of what you are experiencing is abuse please call the crisis line. When you are being abused in any way, no matter the result of the abuse, there are resources for you. Call the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I think my friend may be in a physically abusive relationship and won't get out. She won't accept any advice from friends. | Thank you for your concern. You are a good friend. It can be hard to see a loved one continue to be victimized. While you may want to her to leave, the decision is hers.
There are many reasons for staying in the relationship. Common reasons we hear include religious/spiritual (not believing in separating her family), guilt, love for the abuser, financial, hope that the abuse will stop and especially shame. Your friend may not be recognizing the Cycle of Violence and the patterns you see. This can be reinforced by the pattern where every attack is followed by the false “honeymoon” where the abuser is very kind and loving. Unfortunately, this phase will be followed by another assault.
I know that you might want to throw your hands up, but please don't lose hope. The connection that a victim of domestic violence has with family and friends might be the only way out. A perpetrator has most control when the victim is isolated and has no other option for survival. Please continue to have that connection with your friend. When you get frustrated, you can call WEAVE’s 24 hour crisis line for support and encouragement - (916) 920-2952. The crisis line is not only for victims, it is there to support family and friends – like you.
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| Escaped child abuse from mom. Dad wants to enroll me in Safe At Home Program to change my name quietly. How do we enroll? | To get more information about the Safe at Home Program please call the 24 hour crisis line, toll free at (866) 920-2952.
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| How do you deal with being victimized by the court after leaving the relationship? | Please call the Crisis Line to discuss the way the court has victimized you. We would be interested in hearing the circumstances and we offer you sympathy and support. I am sorry that you were additionally effected by the abuse that you suffered by individuals who are unsympathetic or uneducated about the repercussions of Domestic Violence.
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| a BF who is hyer Jealous..So much so he won't take her anywere out of fear another man will look at her ..Any classes for her? | An extremely "hyper" jealous boyfriend who restricts the actions of his girlfriend is not showing affection in a positive way but actually exhibiting signs of power and control. Making decisions for a person is Emotional Abuse. If you have been abused, (in any of the 5 types of abuse) including Emotional Abuse you can get help at WEAVE. Please call the Crisis Line at (916) 920-2952.
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| My cousin wants to leave but she says she doesnt know how. Shes scared please help us! | It is often very difficult to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of different reasons. If she is ready to leave, WEAVE can help her through the transition. WEAVE offers a Safehouse for women and their children who are escaping an abusive relationship which might be an option for her. You are more than welcome to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to go over her options and she’s encouraged to call, as well. |
| How do you help a co-worker who has shown you scratches and bruises from a recent fight with her fiance? | First of all, you are already being a help to her by showing your concern and seeking resources. Being supportive can be very helpful to people who are in domestic violence relationships. You can let her know that there is help available to her, depending on what she needs. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk to someone and to explore her options. You can also call the crisis line for support and more guidance while you’re helping your co-worker through this. |
| am 45.been in abusive relat 4 last 10 yrs since marriage ended! am at end of my rope!need help! My kids r grown where can i go | You should be proud of yourself because you made the first step by contacting WEAVE. We offer several services that might be beneficial to you including a Safehouse if you are ready to leave, counseling services to help you through the transition, and a legal department to help you get a restraining order. These are only a few things that WEAVE can help you with, and to access these services or to further explore your options, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 17yo bro lives w/our abusive dad bc his house is closer to his friends than our mums Idnt wnt to b th barrier nemor what do I do | If your brother is being abused by your father, Child Protective Services should be called at 916.875.5437 for your brother’s safety. If you would like to talk to someone about how you feel about being in your situation and for support, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There, our certified counselors can also help you come up with a plan of action and go over your options. |
| Do you have a list of AMAC group or groups like it that are no/lowcost for adults that were molested or sexually assaulted as ki | Yes, we can give you several referrals for AMAC counseling. You can access these referrals by calling our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Recently left my emotionally abusive husband. Abuse is escalating. I'm afraid to do a restraining order, it won't stop him. | Another option besides getting a restraining order might be moving away, and we have several housing referrals available. Our 24-Hour Crisis Line can help you with this, and also help you come up with a safety plan, depending on what your situation is. If you would like to talk about your situation and explore what other options might be available to your individual case, please call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My wife screams, throws things and always needs to know where I am. I'm bigger. Am I abused? Can I get counseling. I'm a man. | If your wife’s actions are done for the purpose of gaining power or control over you, then your wife is being abusive. Both men and women can be the victim of abuse and it is not right, either way. WEAVE offers services for victims of domestic violence, whether the victim is male or female. So, counseling is available to you. For more information on how to access counseling services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I just discovered my coworker's husband hit her in the face. What can I do? | It is great that you are concerned about your coworker. If your coworker would like to talk to you about it, it’s important that you are supportive of what she would like to do. You can share with her that there are resources available to her, depending on what path she would like to take. You can encourage her to call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to find out about her options and to talk about her situation. If you would like to talk to someone for more guidance please call the Crisis Line. |
| 15 yr old friend was sexually assulted.She's in prelim now but her life has sprialed downhill since the assault.Can anyone help? | Thank you for being such a great friend and sharing your concern for her by reaching out for help. This is the time that she needs support from loved ones the most. So to answer your question, yes, there are people who can help and it sounds like you have already helped and are committed to helping her. WEAVE is also here to help her. We have a 24-Hour Crisis Line where she can receive emotional support and learn more about the services WEAVE offers. WEAVE has both individual and group counseling for teens. To learn more call the crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| How can I become involved in the WEAVE program if I am from a different state? | Thank you for your interest in our organization. WEAVE is a Sacramento area non-profit. If you are out of state you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find the domestic violence agency in your area, 1.800.799.7233. |
| I need to leave my abusive situation but have a young child and nowhere to go. What can I do? | WEAVE operates a Safehouse which is a shelter for women and their children who are escaping a domestic violence relationship. The shelter is at a confidential location and it is a whole program revolving around domestic violence. We also have several housing referrals that might be an option for you. If you are interested in our Safehouse or would like more information, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| 32 yr old niece in 8yr violent relship;not protecting 6yr old child; not responding to reason;auth w/not intervene | It is difficult to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of different reasons and something that can be very helpful to your niece is support. You can encourage her to give our 24-Hour Crisis Line a call, even if for nothing else but to talk. We can also help her come up with a safety plan, depending on her individual situation. If you feel the child is in danger, Child Protective Services should be called. WEAVE offers many different services that might be of help to her, and if you would like more information about her resources, you can call our Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| What should a parent do if their teen is beating them up? | No one should have to face abuse from anyone, including a parent from a child. There are several options that are available to parents who are abused. Parents may want to consider seeking a therapist for the parent and/or the teen. Legal action also might be an option. And, coming up with a safety plan can be important. There are also parent support hotlines that can help you come up with a plan of action. For referrals and exploring more of the options that are available, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I need help. How do i protect my child support documents from my ex husband whose restrainting order has expired? | If your restraining order has expired, you might be able to file for a new one and WEAVE’s Legal Department offers a restraining order workshop that can help you with that, as well as offer you some legal advice. We also have several legal referrals that might be able to help you. All of our legal referrals, including how to contact our legal department, are available at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I think I'm in a emotionally abusive relationsip. How do I know I'm just being to sensitive, or playing the victim role? | Emotional abuse is one type of abuse that WEAVE recognizes as domestic violence. Sometimes it is hard to recognize if we are in an abusive relationship if there are no physical marks or bruises, but emotional abuse can be just as damaging. If words are said with the intent of gaining power and control over the other person, it is abuse. WEAVE offers services that can help you with your situation. If you would like support and someone to talk to you about your relationship, and also for more information about our services, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My Wife has been abused most of her life by her father, mother, and children's biological father and needs help mentally | We are so sorry to hear that your wife had to face abuse from a lot of people in her life. WEAVE offers counseling for domestic violence survivors, which it sounds like she is if she was in an abusive relationship with her children’s father. Being abused by her mother and father is considered “family violence” and even though our program doesn’t include that, we can give you referrals for other counseling agencies and therapists that might be of further help. To find out what options are available to her, you can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 and she is more than welcome and also encouraged to call, as well. |
| Does WEAVE offer any counseling/programs towards people who may be the batterer? | WEAVE offers services that focus on the victim or survivor of domestic violence, so we do not have perpetrator or batterer programs. However, we can give you several referrals for counseling and batterer programs throughout the Sacramento area. For more information on these programs, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Medi-Cal suddenly changed my husband's medication that was keeping him calm. He is getting angry and violent. | Your husband’s violent behavior is wrong and there is no excuse for it. Your safety is what is important, and WEAVE offers services that can assist you, depending on what your needs are. To find out about your options and to create a safety plan, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Recently left my emotionally abusive husband. Abuse is escalating. How do I get him to leave me alone?He calls me 50 times p/day | You may want to look into getting a restraining order to help with the constant phone calls. For support and to find out more about how to get a restraining order call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I have a job and kids and need a place from situation is there private housing that is inexpensive that we could stay in? | WEAVE does offer a Safehouse for clients leaving or transitioning out of domestic violence relationships. Many of the women have children and are employed as well. To find out more about the Safehouse or other housing referrals please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has emotionally abused me for 15 years. I finally got out. Why do I keep going back and thinking he will really chang | It is very common for someone in your situation to want to think the person will change and return to the relationship. On average a person in a domestic violence relationship will leave and return to the relationship 7-9 times. This happens very often due to the Cycle of Violence that takes place in a domestic violence relationship. There is a honeymoon phase when everything is good and non-violent and then it moves to a tension building phase where stress builds up, since most abusers do not deal with stress in a non-abusive way that stress leads to the explosion phase which is when the violence actually takes place. Since it is a cycle it will go back into honeymoon phase where many times the abuser will promise change and never do it again, but often this is not the case and the tension building phase will start again. Many times people go back looking for the person that their partner is during the honeymoon phase. One of WEAVE's many services is counseling to help you move past the trauma you have experienced. To find out more about our services or general support please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Sis and her step son, whom she raised since he was ababy. Hsbnd is abusive, she does not have legal custody, what can she do? | Your sister can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line and ask to get the contact information for our Legal Department. Here she can get legal advice and resources to help with child custody. Please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Where can I get information to help my wife? She was molested as a child and I just found out. | Though WEAVE does not provide services for adults molested as children, our trained Crisis Line staff would be able to give you several referrals in your area. Please contact WEAVE’s 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| I was raped 4 years ago by my exs friends, since then my whole life has gone downhill, i have no idea how to deal with it. | The process for healing from trauma is different for each individual, and the way the mind and body responds to the past trauma is just as varied. It is very common to struggle after such an event. One way to heal from a traumatic experience is by talking to a trained counselor. WEAVE provides both individual and group counseling that may help you with the healing process. By contacting the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 you can continue the healing process and learn more about the many services we offer. |
| My father-In-Law threatened me over a phone message and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. | Any type of threatening behavior, whether it be over the phone or in-person is not appropriate behavior. What you are describing is what we would call "family violence" not necessarily domestic violence. If you feel comfortable talking with your spouse about the situation and how uncomfortable it made you feel, you should do so. However, if you feel that you need to get a restraining order to protect yourself , that is also an option. For further support and referrals call the 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| can my sister get her kids back after staying with her husband after she pressed assult charges on him. | Children are unfortunately many times the victims of domestic violence relationships as well as the person being abused. If your sister's children have already been taken away she will need to begin working with her CPS worker to meet the conditions to start the process of regaining custody of her children. CPS deals with each case on an individual basis so WEAVE cannot tell you if she will or will not be able to get her kids back. WEAVE does offer a program for moms who are mandated to attend domestic violence classes through CPS, your sister might want to check into this. Please know that you or your sister can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support. |
| My son is abusing his girlfriend, he has cut everyone off from her and the kids, including me, and I don't know what to do. | Unfortunately, isolation is a huge factor in domestic violence relationships for both the abuser, the victim and the children involved. The best way to support your son and his girlfriend is to let them know that you support and care about them and their children. However, unless your son is willing to recognize that his behavior is abusive and detrimental to all involved, the chances of getting through to him are slim. Many times domestic violence abusers do not take accountability for their actions and blame others for problems. Often, this is when the isolation and pulling away from family and friends begins. Safety is the main concern for your sons girlfriend and their children. In order to receive further support and referrals for you, your son and his girlfriend please call our 24-Hour, confidential crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| My daughter was beaten last night and her boyfriend is in jail. She won't tell me where she is? How can I help her? | We are terribly sorry to hear about your daughters situation. Most survivors feel an immense amount of fear, shame, and guilt that prevents them from reaching out for help during a time like this. The best way to support your daughter is to let her know that you support and care about her. However, she must make the decision that is best for her. WEAVE has a Safehouse that your daughter could access if she needs safe shelter. In order to receive further support and referrals for you and your daughter please call our 24-Hour, confidential crisis line at 916.920.2952. |
| Should I accept my husbands mental and verbal abuse, since he is a great father to our kids | All types of abuse, including mental and verbal abuse, are inappropriate and wrong. And even though he might seem like a great father to your kids, children can easily witness abuse and it can affect them. WEAVE offers counseling services for children, as well as for the victim. For more information or for someone to talk to, please call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| Can I force my physically abusive bf to move out of my apartment immediately without any notice? I'm the only one on the lease. | We would suggest that if possible you have a support group of a family member or two with you when you tell your abusive partner to leave. Please do not leave yourself vulnerable to any dangerous situations. Also look into having a restraining order drawn up at one of our TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) Workshops. Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line for information regarding restraining orders, extra advice and support at 916.920.2952. |
| A friend of mine had her 3 daughters taken away due to domestic violence she recieved from her boyfriend and he threatning her. | Children are unfortunately, often the victims of domestic violence relationships as well as the person being abused. Since your friends children have already been taken away she will need to begin working with her CPS worker to meet the conditions to start the process of regaining custody of her children. WEAVE does offer a program for moms who are mandated to attend domestic violence classes through CPS, your friend might want to check into this. Please know that you or your friend can call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 for support. |
| My partner often slaps me on the forehead when he doesn't like what I say, then kisses me like it was a joke. Is this a sign? | A very important first step is to identify the actions of your partner that concern you. The next step is to label the actions to better understand them, and to better understand your relationship. Based on the information provided in your question one could identify your husband's actions as physical abuse. Often abusers do not take responsibility for their abuse. By saying the slap is a "joke" does not make the slap on the forehead any less abusive. In a non-domestic violence relationship, a partner would not hit or slap the other person when they disagree. A healthy relationship would include clear, non-abusive communication. The next step to consider is if you want to learn more about domestic violence, and the different forms of abuse and how these effect the survivor. To learn more please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My ex b/f hurt in a some sexual ways and always hit me i keep having dreams of it and feel like i am reliving it what can i do? | The process for healing from trauma is different for each individual, and the way the mind and body responds to the past trauma is just as varied. One way to heal from a traumatic experience is by talking to a trained counselor. WEAVE provides both individual and group counseling that may help you with the healing process. By contacting WEAVE’s 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 you can continue the healing process and learn more about the many services we offer. |
| how do i get help with getting my husband out | Depending on the situation, one tool that might assist you is a domestic violence restraining order. Not only can the restraining order remove the perpetrator from the home, but also requires that they also not contact the victim after they are ordered to leave. To find out more about the many benefits of a domestic violence restraining order, and how to obtain one, please contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| If I report my husband for domestic abuse, but I am not a legal U.S. citizen,will immigration be called? | When a client receives services at WEAVE, we never ask citizenship questions. WEAVE's focus is to help all survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Immigrants to the United States who are a survivor of domestic violence have specific federal laws that apply. The laws allow battered immigrant women to obtain lawful permanent residence without leaving the country, and provides other beneficial provisions through the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)). Though WEAVE is not a expert with immigration issues, we can refer you to a local agency that may be able to answer questions regarding immigration. Contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to receive the referrals at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband has sexually assaulted me on several occassions. I am so confused. What do I do? | You have many choices that you can explore on the Crisis Line. From reporting the abuse to law enforcement, receiving in-person counseling at WEAVE, or talking anonymously to a counselor on the Crisis Line. After talking with a Crisis Line counselor you may choose any and all of the choices to assist you with the healing process and increase your safety. To learn about your choices, please speak to a trained counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| When can you make progress enough so my effects from the abuse stops coming back and effecting my family or loved ones over agai | Being abused affects everyone differently, and everyone recovers at his or her own pace. Most people do feel better over time, it is very normal to continue to think about and deal with the abuse long after it happened. For many it is a life-long process of healing. Getting counseling can provide you with a safe person to talk to and skills to cope with your feelings and reactions. To find out more about the services we offer contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband is passive aggressive and psychologically abusive. Is there a program to help pschologically abused women? | One of the five types of domestic violence that WEAVE offers counseling for is verbal/emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as the other forms of abuse, such as physical abuse. Though the damage subjected to the survivors of emotional abuse is not visible as it might be from physical abuse (i.e., bruising, a broken arm, etc.), the pain and healing process are similar. Our clients receive support and guidance that are healing from one type of abuse, or all five types of abuse. To learn more about different forms of abuse, contact the Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| my ex-boyfriend is "arestable" but I can't get the police to come out when i call with his location? what can i do? | Though it is understandable, the one thing not to do is get frustrated and give up calling law enforcement. Continue to call law enforcement and document your attempts. You may benefit from talking to law enforcement to see if they have any suggestions. You may also want to brainstorm other ideas with a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| how can i get the police to enforce the restraining order when my ex-boyfriend continues to email me? | Do not become so frustrated that you give up calling law enforcement. Continue to call law enforcement and document your attempts. You may benefit from talking to law enforcement to see if they have any suggestions. A counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line, 916.920.2952, may also offer other ideas to you. |
| Is there any way to speed up the process of getting an abusive, stalking ex-boyfriend arrested? | Local law enforcement often does a great job helping survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Allowing the process to work takes both time and patience. If you feel law enforcement is not responding appropriately to the circumstances, one option that you have is to talk to those higher in the chain of command. If you are able to express specific concerns with details, the information could both help you with your situation, and other survivors that may experience a similar situation in the future. It is important to remain safe while waiting for your ex-boyfriend to be arrested. To talk to a counselor at our 24-Hour Crisis Line to explore other options call 916.920.2952. |
| My bf lives with me. He has been abusive physically and mentally to my girls and I. He threatens us if I am to put him out. | Though your boyfriend has threatened you if you "put him out", you have several choices to increase both your and your girls safety. One option is to remove him from your residence by obtaining a domestic violence restraining order. The court can order him to leave and stay away and law enforcement will enforce the order. If he chose to violate the restraining order, he could be arrested and incarcerated for doing so. Another choice is for you to leave the home, and stay at our Safehouse with your girls. It is a safe place that you can stay up to 45 days to plan for your future without abuse. Please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to talk to a counselor about these two options, and others that you have available. |
| My husband is verbally/mentally/sexually abusive. I'm in counseling he is not until next week. What are my options? | WEAVE offers many services that can assist you, including in-person counseling, legal assistance, and a Safehouse where you could stay up to 45 days. To explore which of the many services best meet your current needs, please talk with one of our counselors at our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952.
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| My husband is verbally/mentally abusive. I do not want to have sex but he yells at me and throws things. What do you suggest? | You have already taken a very important first step, identifying your husband's actions as abuse. The next step would be to consider if you want to make changes to have a relationship without abuse. Both you and your husband can choose to make changes if you are both willing. We strongly suggest that couples that have domestic violence issues not attend couples counseling for safety reasons. To learn more about the many services WEAVE can offer you, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. There are services available to help your husband learn to not be abusive that we can refer him to. While your husband receives assistance, you could receive support from WEAVE's counseling. |
| At a time of a light-hearted card game, my son-in-law became angry, twisted my arm, causing pain and bruising? What to do? | What you are describing is considered "family violence". Physical abuse from someone who you are related to, but you are not in a relationship with. Though we do not provide services to survivors of family violence, WEAVE could still assist you in exploring your options. You have several options to increase your safety. The outcome will be based on the history of violence from your son-in-law, and your comfort level with utilizing resources available to you. The range of choices could include everything from addressing the altercation with your son-in-law directly, to trying to obtain a restraining order. The path you choose will hopefully increase your safety and also reinforce what he did was not appropriate. To better explore your options, please contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952 to talk to a counselor. |
| Why did this happen to me ? | It is common for survivors of domestic violence to blame themselves for the abuse (physical, emotional, etc.). Often survivors feel that they should have know their partner was going to be abusive, or that that they "allowed" the abuse to go on to long. Instead of blaming oneself for the abuse, the best actions to take are two fold: one, hold the perpetrator accountable for his or her actions. It is only the perpetrator of the violence that knows why they were abusive, and there is no excuse for their actions, secondly, by exploring more with a trained counselor about the abusive relationship, survivors can move forward. If a survivor chooses to be in another relationship in the future, to decrease the chances of another abusive relationship, it is best to better understand the past relationship. WEAVE can be a part of this learning process that takes time and support. To receive information about the counseling WEAVE offers contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952. |
| My husband abused my son 15 years ago. I can't get past it & my kids can't forget. He feels we should. What should I do? | Others may expect that you should be ready to move on with your life as soon as they are ready to stop thinking about it. Those who understand the effects of abuse know that the trauma is not a simple thing to recover from. Being exposed to abuse affects everyone differently, and everyone recovers at his or her own pace. It is very normal to continue to think about and deal with the abuse long after it happened. Getting counseling can provide you and your son a safe person to talk to and skills to cope with your feelings and reactions. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your son to react or feel a certain way. There is no time period or deadline when you should "get over it", no matter what your husband may tell you. The healing process is a complicated and an individual process. Though WEAVE may not provide in-person services that you and your son may benefit from, you both could contact our 24-Hour Crisis Line to talk with a counselor to learn about the services we offer and to receive referrals to other agencies that your family could benefit from. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| I get mad easily so does he. He talks about other girls, makes me cry and I start hitting him first but then he strangles me. | Relationships that contain multiple forms of abuse can feel confusing. Many abusers blame the victim for their behavior and call them abusive. You can look at who is initiating the abuse and if it is to gain power and control over the other person. Reactive anger is often associated with being abused. You may be assisted in understanding the dynamics of your relationship better by talking to a Crisis Line counselor at 916.920.2952. |
| BF abusing son. Want to get out. Don't know how. Scared. no money. | Many survivors of domestic violence have limited resources and are afraid but want to leave the abusive relationship.
Fortunately, WEAVE can help. Our programs include: a Safehouse, legal services, and in-person counseling. Take the next step and increase your family’s safety by talking to a counselor at our 24-hour Crisis Line at 916.920.2952.
The counselor will listen to you specific needs and give you support and practical information about our services. The counselor will be there to support you and help you find options. WEAVE has provided guidance and support to others so they could transition into a life without abuse. Our hope is the same for you.
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| How often is domestic violence perpetrated by males as opposed to females and is there a rise among female perpetraters? | WEAVE's counselors confirm our clients reflect national trends. Within heterosexual relationships, 90-95% of the perpetrators of domestic violence are male. We are not aware of any published study indicating an increase in the number of female perpetrators. At WEAVE we hope that every survivor of abuse will seek help and that each perpetrator is held accountable – regardless of gender.
Some of the reasons for the high percentage may be based on the physical differences of the genders, greater financial earning potential of men compared to women, and the way men are socialized.
The actual number of male survivors may be higher because there are factors that may stop a man from seeking help. These factors include fear of reporting to law enforcement and not knowing if services at their local domestic violence center are available to men.
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| Do you guys help with immigration assistances in a domestic violence case? | WEAVE offers free services relating to sexual assault and domestic violence issues. For assistance with immigration issues, please contact the 24-hour Crisis Line to talk to a counselor, and they will give you referrals. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Sometimes when my boyfriend gets angry he slaps me(not to hurt), and pulls my hair, is this abuse? | WEAVE identifies five types of domestic violence. All types of abuse are done for the purpose of gaining power and control over the victim. The types of abuse are different but are often inflicted upon a victim in various combinations. One type is physical abuse, it is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. Even if a slap or pulling of hair doesn’t hurt, it is not the level of pain inflicted that defines if the action is abuse. It is the reason and intent of the person doing the action, and damage done to the recipient of the action, that helps to define if the action is abuse. By talking with a counselor on our 24-Hour Crisis Line you would be able to explore in more detail both the dynamics of your relationship and about WEAVE's services. The Crisis Line number is 916.920.2952. |
| Why do people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners? | It is a myth that people yell and hit to show how much they care about their partners.
In Reality, people yell and hit because they are using violence to try and control another person and are unable to control their own behavior. |
